“JJ!”

The morning of the Today Show flew by in a blur, partly because it was so damn early, but mostly because it was such a rush. I had experienced first hand the intensity of the fans in the U.S., but there was something really surreal about seeing them lining the streets, singing along with the boys. It really was incredible.

But, like I said, it was all a blur, and in what seemed like a flash, I found myself standing on a sunny sidewalk in Los Angeles outside The Ivy, the lovely Eleanor Calder bounding towards me.

We had arrived in the city a few hours earlier and all crashed in the hotel for a well needed nap. Now, we were out for dinner before having an early night in – tomorrow the boys had a day full of KCA rehearsals. Liam and Louis had gone to LAX to pick up their girlfriends, while the rest of us had gone ahead to the restaurant. Me, being the personal ass, was told to stand outside and wait for the late comers. I didn’t mind too much, the weather in late March LA was quite nice.

There were a few fans dawdling around outside the restaurant, and they all politely asked for pictures and made light conversation. I was a bit hesitant at first, but they seemed pretty normal.
So, I snapped a few pictures and was finished up as the late arrivals pulled up in a car.

Despite having just gotten off a sickeningly long flight, El looked bright eyed and bushy tailed as always. She beamed as she caught me up in a hug, before turning and smiling at Louis, who had followed her out of the car, smiling and giving his fans some hugs. Liam and Danielle followed shortly after. Liam was even more engaging with the fans than Louis, who had spent a few moments with them before disappearing into the Ivy.

In fact, he hadn’t actually spoken, or even acknowledged me since the interview incident the day before. I had wanted to talk to him about it, and assumed that he would come apologize, but I hadn’t had a chance to get him alone.

El chattered one happily with me as we entered the restaurant and Danielle gave me a nice smile in greeting. I was somewhat happy to see her – like I’ve said before, she is a great girl, very sweet – but I was steeling myself for the amount of adorable PDA between her and Liam.

Overall, though, it was nice to have a few more girls around. Lou and I got along pretty well, but she was a bit older and had Lux to contend with. Nicola was scary as hell, so I wasn’t going to be spending time with her. I already knew, though, over dinner, that having El and Dani around for the next two weeks was going to be a breathe of fresh air.

I found myself sitting at the end of the table, in between the girls and across from Zayn. Niall and Harry were down toward the other end of the table, but Niall shouted down to me that I should get the “bloody fantastic” spaghetti dish. Thanks, Niall.

He was making faces at me from down the table, so to please him, I shot a picture of the meal with my phone and tweeted it out so all the little kiddies could see just what Louis Tomlinson’s little sister happened to be eating for dinner. Fascinating stuff, really.

JJintheSky:yummy pasta – thanks for the recommendation @NiallOfficial!

It was bloody fantastic, though. Dinner went along swimmingly, except for the fact that Louis was still being a bit off.

“How has the tour been for you, JJ?” Danie asked, conversationally. “Sick of being surrounded by boys all the time?”

“No, actually,” I shrugged. “I quite enjoy it actually. Though, they can be a bit messy at times.”

“She’s like a mum,” Zayn snickered. “Always cleaning up after us, packing our suitcases.”

“That’s my job, you idiot,” I replied, chucking a piece of my garlic bread at him.

“Aw, Momma Bear and Boo Bear,” Eleanor cooed, looking at us Tomlinson siblings on either side of her, pinching our cheeks. “It’s so perfect.”

I glared at Zayn. “You start calling me that and I will cut you.”

He held his hands up defensively. I had gone back to my dinner when Danielle spoke again.
"You're coming to the show tomorrow, right, JJ?" she asked, smiling over at me. I looked up, some spaghetti dangling attractively from my mouth.

"Erm..."

"She doesn't want to go," Louis replied for me, shrugging. "Not her thing."

"Wait," I said, looking around El to eye him questioningly. "I never even knew I had the option of going."

"We each have a plus one," Zayn offered, before sending me a wink. "You can be my date, JJ."

"She's not going, and she's certainly not going as anyone's date." We all looked at Louis, who had continued shoveling his mashed potatoes into his mouth, not meeting anyone's eyes. I looked at El, who blinked confusedly, clearly as thrown off by my brother's odd behavior as everyone else.

Louis was definitely pissing me off. This was the first he had even acknowledged my presence since yesterday and it was to treat me like I had no say in the matter, like I wasn't even there.

"And why can't I go?" I asked, stubbornly. "Dani and El get to."

"Because they're our girlfriends," he replied, looking at me for the first time. "JJ, you won't like it. There are going to be a ton of fans, photographers, all the celebrities you say you don't like and you actually have to put effort into your appearance. It's better if you just stay at the hotel."

The way he said that really irked me. Who was he to say that I wouldn't like it...I mean, sure I complained a lot about the fans and the photographers and the celebrities...but this was an awards show! Going was surely better than twiddling my thumbs alone in the hotel.

"You know what, Zayn," I said, looking at the dark haired boy across the table from me. "I think I'll take you up on that offer. I'd love to go as your date."

"Really?" He asked, blinking, while Louis frowned. Zayn glanced over at him, not sure the best way to respond. In the end, he decided he was more afraid of me than my older brother. "Sure, yeah, that’d be great."

"Perfect," I grinned at him, before continuing to devour my pasta.

Louis was looking grumpy down the table, while Eleanor poked him, trying to get him to talk to her. Liam and Danielle looked slightly awkward next to me, but Dani, being the annoyingly sweet person that she is, put her hand on my shoulder.

"This will be a lot of fun. We don't actually get to sit with the lads, so it will just be us girls."

I swallowed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

**

The next morning, I woke up filled with a sudden sense of dread. There was something Louis had said the previous night – forget the fact that he was being a complete twat (he wouldn’t even stick around to sign some autographs for fans when we left the Ivy, disappearing with Eleanor back to the hotel as soon as he could), but he did mention something. The Kid’s Choice Awards was an event where I would have to put some effort into my appearance. Again, forget the fact that it was a bit of an insult, but he was right. I was going to actually tie my shoes (was I even allowed to were trainers to this?) and probably pull a brush through my hair.

Panicking, suddenly, I grabbed my phone and dialed the one person I knew could help me.

“El,” I said, “I need you. It’s an emergency.”

“Hmmph, ermm...what?” she grumbled, obviously still in bed.

“I need your help,” I repeated. “Can you please come to my room?”

“Fuck off, JJ,” she replied, yawning. “It’s too early.”

“But I have nothing to wear for tomorrow!”

There was a pause.

“I’ll be right over.”

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at my door. Eleanor, somehow, was looking as beautiful as ever, and she had brought the equally beautiful Danielle along with her. They looked past me, at the clothes that were now sprawled across my hotel room.

“JJ, calm down,” El said, taking my arm and coming in. “You have your crazy eyes at the moment. Don’t worry, we’re here to help you.”

"But I don't have anything to wear to an awards show!" I shrieked, somewhat embarrassed. “I’ve gone through my entire suitcase. I have nothing that isn’t jeans, football jerseys or Converse.”

“And a few sweatshirts,” Danielle added, holding up a purple Jack Wills hoodie between two fingers, as though she were afraid to get some disease from it.

“That’s Harry’s. Even his stuff is more girly than mine.”

“So you don’t have any dresses or anything?” Eleanor asked, looking shocked.

“I don’t like dresses,” I muttered.

"Well, you can borrow one of ours," Danielle offered instantly, still smiling in encouragement.

"Yes," agreed Eleanor. "We definitely have some extra dresses with us. I’m sure you’ll find something."

I stared at them - one a model, the other a dancer - and felt my throat tighten a bit in embarrassment. "Thank you, but I really don't think I'll fit into any of your clothes."

Their smiles dropped for a minute and glanced at each other. "Right," Danielle tried to agree diplomatically. "Well, you are a bit shorter than us..."

"Yeah, shorter," I muttered, turning away. “Can’t you just snap your fingers and make some really cool outfit appear?” I appealed to El, who always seemed so put together.

“Not out of this, I can’t,” she replied, kicking some ripped jean shorts away from her.

"But this just means we can go shopping!" Danielle then added, sounding completely enthusiastic once again.

I groaned. Shopping was not my favorite thing in the world, and it certainly wasn't going to help going with these two, who could literally wear rubbish bags and look gorgeous.

"Come on, JJ," Dani continued. "It will be fun. And we get to be away from the boys for a bit!"

I knew that that was actually the last thing the two of them wanted, since they hadn't seen their boyfriends in weeks, but I could tell by their determined looks that they were not going to take 'no' for an answer.

"Fine," I agreed reluctantly. "When do you want to go?"

"We're free now."

"Brilliant."

“It is,” Dani agreed. “I’ve spoke to Liam and the boys have their rehearsals all day, so we have plenty of time to find something.”

Draggin my feet a bit, I followed the girls downstairs. The boys were all in the lobby, waiting for the van to take them to the studio. Upon seeing us, Liam and Louis made a beeline for their girlfriends, hugging and kissing them lovingly, while I waited awkwardly to the side. Niall must have seen how 'fifth wheel' I felt, as he came over a few moments after the others and picked me up in a bear hug.

"Oh, JJ, how I've missed you!" He cried in a high pitch voice. I laughed and silently thanked him for breaking the tension I was feeling about the whole scenario.

"Where are you girls heading off too?" Liam asked, his finger interlaced with Danielle, looking down at her adoringly. Blech.

"We're having a girl's day out," she replied.

"That's what she said!"

"Wait," Harry interjected, completely ignoring Zayn and joining us. "I'm confused. Girl's day out? Then why is JJ going?"

"Oh, you are just a bag of laughs, aren't you Styles?" I asked sardonically, as he gave me cheeky grin.

"If you must know," Eleanor cut in, "we are going to get JJ an outfit for the KCAs."

"Maybe we'll get our hair and nails done as well," Danielle agreed, sounding much more excited than I could be. "We're going to make JJ look like a movie star."

"You do know that the show is tomorrow, right?" Harry asked. "Is that really enough time?"

I knew he was kidding and it was actually kind of funny, so I managed a small laugh, as did Louis and Zayn. But now really wasn't the time that I needed to be reminded that I was a far call from a movie star. Danielle and Eleanor glared at him, while Liam smacked him in the chest, though I saw a small flicker of amusement across his face.

Niall gave a small laugh as well, but also draped his arm over my shoulder. "You're going to look gorgeous love, like always."

I rolled my eyes at him, but was secretly thankful for the words. "Alright," I said, moving away from them. "Let's get this over with."

We got a taxi to drop us off in some shopping district with a millions different Italian sounding shops. We went in and out and in and out and I veto’d almost every single garment their girl’s held up for me.

“Okay, this is getting out of hand,” Eleanor said, pulling me into a shop called Nova’s. “You’re actually going to try some on in here and we are going to find you a dress.”

There was such determination in her voice that I didn’t dare argue with her.

“Can I help you ladies?” a clerk asked, descending on us, bright red lips pulled back into a grimace/smile.

“Oh, hello!” Danielle greeted. “Yes, you see, our friend here,” – she shoved me forward – “needs a dress for an awards show tomorrow.”

“An awards show?” the woman repeated, perfectly done eyebrows raising, almost to her hairline. “May I ask which one?”

“Kid’s Choice,” Eleanor supplied.

The clerks smile dropped infinitesimally, clearly she was hoping something a bit more prestigious, but looked me up and down nonetheless. “Well, all of the designer gowns are along the wall, but you may want to start with the sale racks over there.”

We all pulled faces at her as she walked away. Twat.

The girls pulled what seemed like thousands of dresses off of the racks and shoved them into me arms. Stalking into the dressing room, I attempted to get them on. Most were just ghastly and tossed them aside without a second thought.

“How’s it coming in there?” El called and I rolled my eyes.

“One minute,” I called back, slightly annoyed.

I pulled on my first dress – a turquoise number – and nearly got lost trying to get into it. There were so many holes and cut outs and straps…what the hell?

“Um, I don’t think this one is going to work,” I called out of the dressing room and staring at myself in the mirror.

“You have to show us,” Dani called back.

“I do?”

“Yes,” she replied, yanking the curtain open and looking me up and down. “Oh.”

Eleanor peered in then and burst out laughing and I could tell Dani was trying to keep a straight face. I frowned in embarrassment. “I didn’t know where my arms went and there were too many straps and I could figure out what tied where…”

“Well, first off,” Eleanor snickered, coming up behind me. “You need to lose the bra.”

I squeaked in shock as she unclasped my bra and I grabbed the front of the dress to prevent anything from falling out. “What do I wear then?” I asked, completely confused and concerned. The girls shot each other a look.

“Pasties,” they replied in unison.

“…I don’t…I don’t even know what those are!”

“We’ll get to it later,” Dani comforted. “Let’s just find the dress first.”

The next was a slinky red thing that Eleanor has described as “bondage cut” which made me rather nervous (and I also hoped that no one ever told Harry), and I ended up needing her help to zip it up all the way, as I could barely squeeze myself into it.

“But that’s the way it’s supposed to fit,” she said, as I tried to stretch out the bottom a bit. “What do you think?” El asked, pushing me out of the dressing room to face Danielle, who had found a comfortable spot on a couch to read a magazine. El stepped around in front of me and smiled encouragingly.

“Wow, JJ,” Danielle said, standing up and looked me up and down. “You look…very va-va-voom.”

I tugged in annoyance on the bottom of the red dress. “My boobs are showing.”

“They’re not completely showing,” she replied, while grimaced at the deep-V cut of the dress. Eleanor snapped a picture with her phone.

“Oi! What are you doing?” I asked, immediately crossing my arms in front of my chest.

She shrugged. “Sending a picture to Lou.”

“Why would you do that?” I groaned.

“Because she asked me to. She said that she wants to do your hair tonight and can get some ideas from the dresses.”

I frowned. “It’s just going to in a ponytail – nothing to spectacular.”

Eleanor’s eyes widened and she looked like she was about to say something, but her phone buzzed. “Oh, Lou doesn’t like it.”

“Well, at least we agree on something,” I muttered, reaching around awkwardly for the zipper.

I tried on maybe twenty more dresses, only finding one black dress that actually fit me comfortably and didn’t make me look like a slag. I could also get into it on me own, which was a nice change from half of the others, which requires an embarrassingly large amount of help from one of the girls. This black one, however, was alright. Eleanor kindly said it made me look like a bag-lady, but adjusted her assessment of it after Dani sent a sharp jab of an elbow into her side.

“I think you look very…nice,” she tried.

At this point I didn’t really care. I just wanted to be done with this whole mortifying experience.

“Well, I’m just going to get it,” I shrugged. “No one is expecting me to look that great anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Dani asked, frowning. “You’re going to look amazing.”

“Not if she buys th – ow - yes, you’re going to look brilliant!”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks girls, I appreciate it, but I know the expectations aren’t that high.”

“Well, here,” Dani said, standing up and me a cream colored dress that was covered in sequins. “Last one, just…try it.”

I groaned dramatically, but took the dress anyway. “I’m going to look like a bloody disco ball,” I said loudly, as I pulled it on. But, it actually wasn’t too bad. It felt nice and comfortable, which was good – no itchy fabric to speak of and it covered everything it needed to cover. It was also a bit looser fit, though it was rather short. Coming back out, I did a little twirl for the girls.

“Thoughts?”

They both stared. “JJ,” Dani started, beaming. “You look…”

“Sexy!” El cried, jumping up and clapping. “Yay!”

“Really?” I asked, turning to look at myself in the full length mirror again. I mean, I guess I did look pretty good. The color didn’t wash out my pale skin, and was accentuated by my hair color. I quite liked it.

No, I loved it.

Eleanor snapped a picture of it, while Dani grinned. “You have to get that one! It’s perfect on you.”

“Lou totally agrees! And apparently it will match the boys’ outfits!”

I glanced around for the tag, smiling stupidly to myself. It did look perfect. I looked hot. I looked sexy. I looked –

“Holy fuck.”

I looked up at the girls in shock. “It costs over four thousand dollars.”

Their faces dropped and Danielle came over to me. “Maybe you’re misreading the tag, it’s on sale...oh. It’s $4000 on sale??”

“Originally $6000,” I groaned, feeling like I had been punched in the stomach.

“Well,” Eleanor said quietly, biting her bottom lip and staring at the dress. “You could…you know, ask Louis for the money.”

“No,” I replied sharply.

“I’m not asking him for four thousand dollars.” The idea was absurd.

“I’m sure he would give it to you,” she replied, holding out her phone to show she could just call him. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind...”

“I know he wouldn’t mind, that’s not the point,” I snapped, and immediately felt guilty. They were only trying to help. “I just...I don’t want to have to rely on him. It’s his money that he earned and he shouldn’t have to spend it on me.” And he also wasn’t speaking to me currently and didn’t even want me to go to the stupid awards show, so why would he pay for my dress? Eleanor and Danielle glanced at each other, and I tried to ignore it. “Just…how much is the black one?”

Dani reached over and picked the black dress up off the couch, glancing at the tag. “$700.”

I gulped. Even that was absurd for a dress I was only going to wear once. Danielle must have seen my face turn slightly green, because she sent me a quick smile. “You know, black is very classic and you can totally wear it a lot of different events, like dinners and weddings and maybe even out clubbing or something.”

Eleanor scrunched up her face in disgust, looking at the garment in Danielle’s hand, seeming to question whether or not they were thinking about the same dress. But, then she turned to look at me with a smile.

“She’s absolutely right, JJ. And I’m sure you’re going to look fabulous. Lou will be able to do your make-up and hair and everything and you’ll look fab. I promise.”

“Right,” I mumbled, hanging the plum dress back up on the rack forlornly. “Right, well, let’s get going then.”

I winced as my credit card went through the machine – I could just see my bank account dwindling to the double digits with the purchase. Eleanor and Danielle were fairly subdued on the way back to the hotel, chattering on rather calmly about some movie or another while I stared out the window, wallowing in self-pity.

WE went and got out nails done, which actually felt quite wonderful. The pedicure was a bit of an experience – half of the time I was apologizing to the poor Thai lady for how horrific my footballers’ feet were and the rest of the time I was snorting in laughter due to how damn ticklish I am. It did allow me a chance to forget about the dress debacle though.

The boys were, quite literally, gone all day, so the girls and I ordered Indian food and ate in in the hotel, watching Bridesmaids and thinking of ways to meet/stalk/abduct Johnny Depp the next day (“I’m sorry, I love Louis, but I have the chance, I would climb Johnny Depp like a tree.”).

When the boys did finally get back, Danielle and Eleanor headed out to the respective boyfriends, leaving me alone with my thoughts and that God awful dress. An hour later, after gorging myself on mini-bar candies and soda, I was laying in my bed watching Teen Mom (and starting to realize my life really wasn’t so bad) and trying to decide if I had the motivation to go down to the gym or not. Niall had stopped by with Zayn and asked me to join, but I couldn’t decide. After eating six Reese’s Cups and two Twix bars, I really probably should have gone, but I continued to lay there, as if the mental struggle over the decision was exercise enough.

There was a knock at the door – but not the door from the hallway, rather, the door that was used to connect to the adjoining room. It shook a little then, as the person knocked again.
Frowning, I went over and slowly opened it, hoping there wasn’t some axe murderer on the other side.

It was worse.

“What do you want, Haz?” I asked, sighing.

"Hey there, Tits Magee."

I groaned. “And why are you calling me that?”

"I may or may not have stolen Lou’s phone and seen that lovely picture you in the red number. Please tell me that that's what you're wearing tomorrow."

I groaned and flopped back onto my bed. "No, I'm not." I ignored his pouting. "It was too expensive an-"

"I'll buy it for you."

"And I don't want my jubblies flying out."

"Well, why not?" he asked, looking thoroughly scandalized.

"Because I actually have some class, something you know nothing about clearly.” I stared pointedly at him as he twisted a finger around his ear, digging for gold.

"Well, did you find anything else?" He inquired. "Something still inappropriately short, preferably.”

"You do know this is a kids award show right?"

"Details," he gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "So come on, let's see it."

Sighing, I rolled off the bed and opened the garment bag, pulling out the black dress and holding it up for him.

"What, are you going to a funeral or something?"

"Hey," I shot back. "Be nice. It's a classic black dress, I can wear it for other things too."

"Like a funeral."

I frowned, looking down at the dress. "You're right, it's hideous."

He must of sensed how frustrated I was, since he said, much more nicely, "I wouldn't say hideous...it's just...erm...boring."

"It's hideous," I corrected. "But it's all I could afford and it's a similar style to the one I really liked and I thought it would look the same..." I rambled for a bit, while Harry watched me, slightly amused. I huffed in annoyance. "And Dani and El are going to look smashing, as always."

"Oh, definitely," he agreed, and I shot him a glare.

"You're not being helpful."

"Just go back tomorrow and buy the one that you like," he said, standing up. "Who cares how much it costs?"

"I care! Not all of us are millionaire pop stars with unlimited credit."

Harry rolled his eyes. "How much was it? I'll give you the -"

"No," I cut him off, hanging the dress back up. "I'm not taking your money. It's fine. I'm sure Eleanor has some cool jewelry and Lou can do my hair up and it will all look great."

"Alright Tits, if you're sure."

"Please don't call me that," I winced, as he headed back to the door.

“You should really show them off more,” he smirked over his shoulder. “They really are quite voluptuous.”

“Well someone swallowed a dictionary,” I mocked, pushing him out in the hallway. Niall and Zayn were on their way back down the hall way and looked at me questioningly.

“Just to let you know,” I told them. “I’m planning on suing this twat for sexual harassment.”

“You can’t do that, though,” Zayn said. “You don’t technically work for us.”

I glared at him as Niall laughed. “Come on, Momma Bear, you should know that.”

Harry’s face lit up. “Momma Bear?”

“You told Niall?”

Zayn looked sheepish under my angry gaze, while the other two just laughed.

“He’s my best friend, JJ,” Zayn replied in a whiny, playful voice. “I have to tell Niall everything!”

“Well, I’m going to bed then,” I rolled my eyes. “Better than dealing with you lot.”

“Aren’t you going to give me a kiss goodnight, Momma Bear?” Harry pouted, leaning in towards me. I kicked him in the groin.

“And you can forget having me as a date,” I said to Zayn, who instinctively jumped away from me.

“Who am I going to take then?” he frowned.

“Well, Harry’s got no balls anymore,” Niall commented and we all looked at the boy in question, who had fallen to the ground in pain. “You can take him.”

Zayn grimaced. “Nah, I don’t want to take someone prettier than me.” He ran a diva-ish hand through his hair and gave us both a winning smile.

“Right,” I said, blinking. I knew he didn’t exactly realize what he said, but it was getting to the point that day that I really couldn’t take anymore shots (direct or indirect) about my looks (or lack thereof). “Well, I’m off then.”

Without another word I shut the door behind me and crawled into bed. I knew I probably wouldn’t sleep much that night, and I didn’t. The black dress in the corner was a like a ghost watching me, a reminder of how much of a disappointment I ended up being to almost everyone in my life – including myself.

And it sucked.