What Matters Most
Chapter Three: Splitting Apart
Brit's POV
My brain faltered, and I couldn't think. I couldn't talk. Jon just looked at me, waiting on an answer. I finally found the ability to speak again, and I said, "What's your problem with Zayn liking me? If he even does, which I highly doubt."
He gave me a dirty look. "Are you fucking blind? He was inches apart from your face. It's pretty obvious that--"
"What's your problem with it?!" I yelled.
He blinked and took a step away from me, taken aback with my tone of voice. "My problem......" he trailed off. "You never told me our slight problem. You tell me that, I'll tell you mine."
"You first," I said.
He rolled his eyes. "Fine. But don't let it come as a shock to you, Brit, because you should have been able to tell for a long time." He paused and took a deep breath. "When we first met back in freshman year, I thought you were pretty cool, you know? We started hanging out more and more, and we were good as music partners. Now, we're great, but feelings change over the course of time, and mine have. They changed sophomore year. I..... I fell in love with you, and I haven't shook that feeling since."
My heart stopped. He looked at me to see my reaction. I was staring at the floor; I couldn't look at him. It made it a little easier to tell him how I felt, but what if ruined our career, or worse, our friendship? I had to tell him.
"Really?" I asked, finally looking at him.
He sighed, and looked at his shoes. "Yeah."
I walked up to him, and stopped a few inches in front of him. I looked up into his eyes, and I said, "That's my problem."
He got a confused look on his face. "Your problem is that I love you?"
I laughed a little. "No. My problem is that I feel the same."
"Oh," he mumbled, and he stared at his shoes again. This child, I thought. I wrapped my arms around him, and he did the same.
"But, you have to understand how much it could affect our job," I whispered to him.
"I know," he whispered back. "It can't change how I feel, though."
I sighed. "Yeah." I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, "I think we should still work together, but just stay friends."
He closed his eyes. "I can't do that, Brit. Knowing you feel the same, I just can't."
"Jon, we are going to get no where in life if we don't get around this. We have to move on and just--"
"Move on? Are you fucking kidding me?! I've loved you for three years. I can't just let that go."
"Well, you're gonna have to if you want to have any type of career with me."
He gave me a real look for that. "Who said I ever needed you in the first place? I can do this on my own just fine."
"Then why have we been doing this for three years if you've felt that way all along, Jon?"
He looked at me, and all I saw was sadness. How could he be this unreasonable? He had to understand where I was coming from. We couldn't date; it could ruin everything beyond repair.
"I......" he said, hesitating. He looked really upset, and then his eyes blazed with anger, and he stared daggers at me. "Fine. We're done." He walked hastily to the door, and slammed it shut on his way out.
I walked over to the wall and slid down it into a sitting position, hugging my knees. What the fuck did you just do? I thought. My life..... it flashed before my eyes. Back when I was eight, receiving the news from a police officer that my parents had been killed in a car crash. Moving in with Dez. Freshman year, meeting Jon in English class. Thinking he needed a serious attitude adjustment, and then getting an A on the project we were in a group for, even though we didn't turn it in. Him dating my best friend. Them breaking up. His drug addiction. Next semester, Biology with him. Getting closer to him. Passing notes, even though we sat only two seats away from each other. Switching seats with my friend to sit next to him, and making up rhymes. Getting in trouble by the teacher. Getting kicked out of the class. Sophomore year, going to the band practice room, playing piano and singing random songs. Screwing around, skipping class just to get into the practice room. Forming a partnership for our love of music, and getting performances at any place that would take us. Same for junior year. Now it was my senior year, and it was almost over. It was already February, I had just turned eighteen, and I lost my best friend. I lost my partner. I lost the one person that could truly make me happy. When I was around him, that was the only time I could be myself.
He was gone. I was probably never getting him back. My eyes filled with tears as the thought entered my mind, and I silently cried into my arms. I hoped he would come back, telling me he was being unreasonable and we would be fine. I knew he wouldn't. He didn't.
The next morning
My headphones blared Slipknot into my ears, signaling my alarm for 5:45. I grabbed my phone, turned it off, and got up to go wake Dez. I walked into her room, and she was snoring loudly.
I climbed onto her bed and started jumping up and down. "Get your sleepy ass up, Jarvis!"
She groaned and kicked my leg, so I fell on top of her. Let's just say that was what woke her up. We both took quick showers, and then I got dressed. I wore a gray Wisconsin sweatshirt over a tank top, with dark wash skinny jeans and black Converse. I snapped my cross necklace on, and then my bracelet. Out came Dez, and she was wearing a black sweater with Mickey Mouse on it, with black and white tiger print skinny jeans and black and white Keds high tops. She grabbed her Swag beanie and put it on. I rolled my eyes.
"Take that off," I said, annoyed. "You know I hate that word."
"Why don't you make me?" she said, smiling, and she stuck her tongue out at me.
"You want me to drive you to school? You're not wearing that in my car."
She mocked me, using a high pitched falsetto, "You're not wearing that in my car." She smiled devilishly at me. "Fine." she said in her original voice. She stuffed the stupid hat in her bag. "Can we go now?"
I laughed, grabbed my keys, and we headed out the door. About seven minutes later, I pulled into our high school. I went to the back parking lot where my parking spot was, and I found it, then Dez and I walked into the school. I went to my locker and Dez went to hers, and since we were there before school started, there weren't much people there. But I knew of one person that was, and he hadn't met me at my locker, like he usually did. Figures.
I opened up my locker, and I found my English workbook, grabbed it, then shut my locker. I turned around to depart, and I smacked into someone's chest. I looked up, and it was Zayn! What was he doing here?!
"Hey there," he said, smiling at me.
"Uh, hey!" I said a little too enthusiastically. "What are you doing here?"
Just as I said that, Jon walked past us, glancing at me once, but kept moving. He rounded the corner, off to the bench we used to sit at.
"Well, I followed you," he said, laughing. "I wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah? What's that?"
He hesitated a bit, and shook his head. "Never mind," he mumbled.
"No! Tell me," I said, giggling. "Come on."
He grinned. "I was wondering if you would like to, you know, get some coffee sometime or something?"
My breath caught, and I broke out into a huge smile. "Really?"
He looked at me. "Yeah, but if you don't want to, that's --"
"I would love to," I said, cutting him off. "When?"
"How about I pick you up after you get home?"
"Yeah, sure. Great."
He chuckled. "So it's a date then. I'll see you."
"See you."
He walked out the doors I came in, and I slid down against my locker onto the floor. I have a date with Zayn Malik, I thought.
"What are you smiling like a retard for?" a voice said jokingly.
I looked up, and I saw my friend Kyara. She wasn't going to believe any of this.
My brain faltered, and I couldn't think. I couldn't talk. Jon just looked at me, waiting on an answer. I finally found the ability to speak again, and I said, "What's your problem with Zayn liking me? If he even does, which I highly doubt."
He gave me a dirty look. "Are you fucking blind? He was inches apart from your face. It's pretty obvious that--"
"What's your problem with it?!" I yelled.
He blinked and took a step away from me, taken aback with my tone of voice. "My problem......" he trailed off. "You never told me our slight problem. You tell me that, I'll tell you mine."
"You first," I said.
He rolled his eyes. "Fine. But don't let it come as a shock to you, Brit, because you should have been able to tell for a long time." He paused and took a deep breath. "When we first met back in freshman year, I thought you were pretty cool, you know? We started hanging out more and more, and we were good as music partners. Now, we're great, but feelings change over the course of time, and mine have. They changed sophomore year. I..... I fell in love with you, and I haven't shook that feeling since."
My heart stopped. He looked at me to see my reaction. I was staring at the floor; I couldn't look at him. It made it a little easier to tell him how I felt, but what if ruined our career, or worse, our friendship? I had to tell him.
"Really?" I asked, finally looking at him.
He sighed, and looked at his shoes. "Yeah."
I walked up to him, and stopped a few inches in front of him. I looked up into his eyes, and I said, "That's my problem."
He got a confused look on his face. "Your problem is that I love you?"
I laughed a little. "No. My problem is that I feel the same."
"Oh," he mumbled, and he stared at his shoes again. This child, I thought. I wrapped my arms around him, and he did the same.
"But, you have to understand how much it could affect our job," I whispered to him.
"I know," he whispered back. "It can't change how I feel, though."
I sighed. "Yeah." I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, "I think we should still work together, but just stay friends."
He closed his eyes. "I can't do that, Brit. Knowing you feel the same, I just can't."
"Jon, we are going to get no where in life if we don't get around this. We have to move on and just--"
"Move on? Are you fucking kidding me?! I've loved you for three years. I can't just let that go."
"Well, you're gonna have to if you want to have any type of career with me."
He gave me a real look for that. "Who said I ever needed you in the first place? I can do this on my own just fine."
"Then why have we been doing this for three years if you've felt that way all along, Jon?"
He looked at me, and all I saw was sadness. How could he be this unreasonable? He had to understand where I was coming from. We couldn't date; it could ruin everything beyond repair.
"I......" he said, hesitating. He looked really upset, and then his eyes blazed with anger, and he stared daggers at me. "Fine. We're done." He walked hastily to the door, and slammed it shut on his way out.
I walked over to the wall and slid down it into a sitting position, hugging my knees. What the fuck did you just do? I thought. My life..... it flashed before my eyes. Back when I was eight, receiving the news from a police officer that my parents had been killed in a car crash. Moving in with Dez. Freshman year, meeting Jon in English class. Thinking he needed a serious attitude adjustment, and then getting an A on the project we were in a group for, even though we didn't turn it in. Him dating my best friend. Them breaking up. His drug addiction. Next semester, Biology with him. Getting closer to him. Passing notes, even though we sat only two seats away from each other. Switching seats with my friend to sit next to him, and making up rhymes. Getting in trouble by the teacher. Getting kicked out of the class. Sophomore year, going to the band practice room, playing piano and singing random songs. Screwing around, skipping class just to get into the practice room. Forming a partnership for our love of music, and getting performances at any place that would take us. Same for junior year. Now it was my senior year, and it was almost over. It was already February, I had just turned eighteen, and I lost my best friend. I lost my partner. I lost the one person that could truly make me happy. When I was around him, that was the only time I could be myself.
He was gone. I was probably never getting him back. My eyes filled with tears as the thought entered my mind, and I silently cried into my arms. I hoped he would come back, telling me he was being unreasonable and we would be fine. I knew he wouldn't. He didn't.
The next morning
My headphones blared Slipknot into my ears, signaling my alarm for 5:45. I grabbed my phone, turned it off, and got up to go wake Dez. I walked into her room, and she was snoring loudly.
I climbed onto her bed and started jumping up and down. "Get your sleepy ass up, Jarvis!"
She groaned and kicked my leg, so I fell on top of her. Let's just say that was what woke her up. We both took quick showers, and then I got dressed. I wore a gray Wisconsin sweatshirt over a tank top, with dark wash skinny jeans and black Converse. I snapped my cross necklace on, and then my bracelet. Out came Dez, and she was wearing a black sweater with Mickey Mouse on it, with black and white tiger print skinny jeans and black and white Keds high tops. She grabbed her Swag beanie and put it on. I rolled my eyes.
"Take that off," I said, annoyed. "You know I hate that word."
"Why don't you make me?" she said, smiling, and she stuck her tongue out at me.
"You want me to drive you to school? You're not wearing that in my car."
She mocked me, using a high pitched falsetto, "You're not wearing that in my car." She smiled devilishly at me. "Fine." she said in her original voice. She stuffed the stupid hat in her bag. "Can we go now?"
I laughed, grabbed my keys, and we headed out the door. About seven minutes later, I pulled into our high school. I went to the back parking lot where my parking spot was, and I found it, then Dez and I walked into the school. I went to my locker and Dez went to hers, and since we were there before school started, there weren't much people there. But I knew of one person that was, and he hadn't met me at my locker, like he usually did. Figures.
I opened up my locker, and I found my English workbook, grabbed it, then shut my locker. I turned around to depart, and I smacked into someone's chest. I looked up, and it was Zayn! What was he doing here?!
"Hey there," he said, smiling at me.
"Uh, hey!" I said a little too enthusiastically. "What are you doing here?"
Just as I said that, Jon walked past us, glancing at me once, but kept moving. He rounded the corner, off to the bench we used to sit at.
"Well, I followed you," he said, laughing. "I wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah? What's that?"
He hesitated a bit, and shook his head. "Never mind," he mumbled.
"No! Tell me," I said, giggling. "Come on."
He grinned. "I was wondering if you would like to, you know, get some coffee sometime or something?"
My breath caught, and I broke out into a huge smile. "Really?"
He looked at me. "Yeah, but if you don't want to, that's --"
"I would love to," I said, cutting him off. "When?"
"How about I pick you up after you get home?"
"Yeah, sure. Great."
He chuckled. "So it's a date then. I'll see you."
"See you."
He walked out the doors I came in, and I slid down against my locker onto the floor. I have a date with Zayn Malik, I thought.
"What are you smiling like a retard for?" a voice said jokingly.
I looked up, and I saw my friend Kyara. She wasn't going to believe any of this.
10/4/13