World Tour
Not A Phase
***Harry Styles***
Thursday, August 2nd, 2012 – North London, England
I had slipped. I meant to tell Louis that Abby loved him, not the other way around. But my subconscious had taken over, expressing an insecurity I didn’t know I’d been harboring. It was hard to concentrate on the sex Louis and I were currently having with that thought in my head. Of course Louis didn’t love someone else, and especially not a girl. Or did he? I mean, he hadn’t thought he was gay until he met me, maybe he really wasn’t and just assumed he was? Maybe this Abby girl really was his soul mate and that was why I didn’t like her – because somehow, I just knew. Would I really let her steal Louis away from me though? Not without a fight. Unless, of course, that was what he really, truly, wanted. I let out a groan at that thought, forgetting that Louis was straddling me. He paused, and looked at me.
“You okay?” he asked me. Of course I’m not okay! I screamed in my head. But I just nodded and smiled. Louis looked at me for a minute, contemplating whether I really was okay or not, but I pulled his face down to mine and kissed it to distract him. I didn’t mind using sex as a way out of talking – it really was a win-win for both of us.
We’d only been back together for one week, and I was already losing it. I needed to calm down. I was definitely jealous, I wouldn’t try and lie about that, and Louis knew it, but I think he kind of liked when I got jealous – it made him feel loved. But I needed to chill out and think this thing through – something I wasn’t good at doing. Louis loved ME. There was no doubt about that in my mind anymore. I still didn’t know why he loved me, but I knew that he did. Any feelings he had for Abby were strictly platonic, and I needed to remember that. Besides, like he said, she had a contract – he didn’t choose for her to be in his life. And now that she was, he was going to make the best of it because he was Louis, and by the time we finished having sex I had decided I would do the same.
“Sorry,” Louis said as we laid next to each other on my bed. “I guess I’ve lost my touch.”
“What?” I asked. “No, Lou, that was amazing,” I told him. I had been thinking too much to know for sure whether or not it was, but it was sex with Louis – how could it have not been amazing?
“You just didn’t seem like you were enjoying it,” he said. He didn’t sound upset, just explaining what he thought.
“Louis,” I turned on my side to face him and draped my arm across his stomach, looking up at his eyes. “I enjoy every minute of having sex with you. I’m sorry, I’m just a little distracted, you know, Liam and everything.” It wasn’t a complete lie – I was worried about Liam. Louis nodded in agreement.
“Hopefully it was just a phase with him,” he said, but his voice was sad with worry for his friend.
The five of us spent the next week or so taking turns baby-sitting Liam. Whenever it wasn’t Louis’s turn, he was off parading Abby around town. I was pretty sure the press and public had gotten the hint by now – they were together. I didn’t understand the need for them to go out pretty much every day anymore. Louis was trying to balance his time though, he really was, and I needed to give him credit for that. He was with me almost every night, although sometimes Abby would stay for dinner after one of their daytime adventures.
I went to Liam’s for my “shift” the following Friday, and as soon as I walked in the house I saw bottles of alcohol all over. Niall had been with him during the day, but was nowhere to be seen when I arrived. I looked at Liam, who was playing a video game.
“Where’s Niall?” I asked.
“I sent him home,” Liam slurred. “I’m fine.”
“Where’d you get the alcohol?”
“I still had some stashed in my room, and when that was gone I went to the store.”
“Did you drive there?”
“Yeah.” This whole time, Liam kept his eyes on the TV. I went over and turned it off.
“So, you got drunk, and then drove to the store?” I asked.
“I’m fine, Harry,” Liam had never had an attitude with me before, and he’d certainly never been an unhappy drunk. Nor had he ever anything even remotely close to the irresponsibility of driving drunk
“Damn it, Liam, do you realize what could’ve happened?” I asked, immediately becoming emotional with thoughts of him being in a hospital bed just like Louis had been in June. I walked over to Liam and hugged him. “We’re gonna get you through this,” I promised him. He looked at me, then nodded, wanting so badly to believe me. He fell against my shoulder and started to cry, and I just let him, knowing how much missing someone hurt. Finally, I decided I wasn’t going to let my friend go through this alone, so I joined with him on the drinking. Louis was out with Abby, so it wasn’t like there was much else to do, and if Liam was making it okay to drink his sadness away, then so be it.
Thursday, August 2nd, 2012 – North London, England
I had slipped. I meant to tell Louis that Abby loved him, not the other way around. But my subconscious had taken over, expressing an insecurity I didn’t know I’d been harboring. It was hard to concentrate on the sex Louis and I were currently having with that thought in my head. Of course Louis didn’t love someone else, and especially not a girl. Or did he? I mean, he hadn’t thought he was gay until he met me, maybe he really wasn’t and just assumed he was? Maybe this Abby girl really was his soul mate and that was why I didn’t like her – because somehow, I just knew. Would I really let her steal Louis away from me though? Not without a fight. Unless, of course, that was what he really, truly, wanted. I let out a groan at that thought, forgetting that Louis was straddling me. He paused, and looked at me.
“You okay?” he asked me. Of course I’m not okay! I screamed in my head. But I just nodded and smiled. Louis looked at me for a minute, contemplating whether I really was okay or not, but I pulled his face down to mine and kissed it to distract him. I didn’t mind using sex as a way out of talking – it really was a win-win for both of us.
We’d only been back together for one week, and I was already losing it. I needed to calm down. I was definitely jealous, I wouldn’t try and lie about that, and Louis knew it, but I think he kind of liked when I got jealous – it made him feel loved. But I needed to chill out and think this thing through – something I wasn’t good at doing. Louis loved ME. There was no doubt about that in my mind anymore. I still didn’t know why he loved me, but I knew that he did. Any feelings he had for Abby were strictly platonic, and I needed to remember that. Besides, like he said, she had a contract – he didn’t choose for her to be in his life. And now that she was, he was going to make the best of it because he was Louis, and by the time we finished having sex I had decided I would do the same.
“Sorry,” Louis said as we laid next to each other on my bed. “I guess I’ve lost my touch.”
“What?” I asked. “No, Lou, that was amazing,” I told him. I had been thinking too much to know for sure whether or not it was, but it was sex with Louis – how could it have not been amazing?
“You just didn’t seem like you were enjoying it,” he said. He didn’t sound upset, just explaining what he thought.
“Louis,” I turned on my side to face him and draped my arm across his stomach, looking up at his eyes. “I enjoy every minute of having sex with you. I’m sorry, I’m just a little distracted, you know, Liam and everything.” It wasn’t a complete lie – I was worried about Liam. Louis nodded in agreement.
“Hopefully it was just a phase with him,” he said, but his voice was sad with worry for his friend.
The five of us spent the next week or so taking turns baby-sitting Liam. Whenever it wasn’t Louis’s turn, he was off parading Abby around town. I was pretty sure the press and public had gotten the hint by now – they were together. I didn’t understand the need for them to go out pretty much every day anymore. Louis was trying to balance his time though, he really was, and I needed to give him credit for that. He was with me almost every night, although sometimes Abby would stay for dinner after one of their daytime adventures.
I went to Liam’s for my “shift” the following Friday, and as soon as I walked in the house I saw bottles of alcohol all over. Niall had been with him during the day, but was nowhere to be seen when I arrived. I looked at Liam, who was playing a video game.
“Where’s Niall?” I asked.
“I sent him home,” Liam slurred. “I’m fine.”
“Where’d you get the alcohol?”
“I still had some stashed in my room, and when that was gone I went to the store.”
“Did you drive there?”
“Yeah.” This whole time, Liam kept his eyes on the TV. I went over and turned it off.
“So, you got drunk, and then drove to the store?” I asked.
“I’m fine, Harry,” Liam had never had an attitude with me before, and he’d certainly never been an unhappy drunk. Nor had he ever anything even remotely close to the irresponsibility of driving drunk
“Damn it, Liam, do you realize what could’ve happened?” I asked, immediately becoming emotional with thoughts of him being in a hospital bed just like Louis had been in June. I walked over to Liam and hugged him. “We’re gonna get you through this,” I promised him. He looked at me, then nodded, wanting so badly to believe me. He fell against my shoulder and started to cry, and I just let him, knowing how much missing someone hurt. Finally, I decided I wasn’t going to let my friend go through this alone, so I joined with him on the drinking. Louis was out with Abby, so it wasn’t like there was much else to do, and if Liam was making it okay to drink his sadness away, then so be it.
@Sinthiaa
No, it's not hers, it's mine, and I can't get in touch with her or the site admins to get it taken down, grrr haha. Thank you for saying something though :-) *MUAH*
5/6/14