World Tour
First Fight
***Louis Tomlinson***
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 – Bournemouth, England
I gasped when I saw my best friend sitting on the floor, a mess of tears. I walked over to him, sat down next to him, and wrapped my arm around his shoulders. He leaned into me, which I took as a good sign. I knew he was upset about his performance – I could tell right away he was off, and halfway through the show I knew he knew, and he was trying so hard to fix it. Chances were, none of our fans noticed – I was sure we would all have plenty of off shows. I was about to tell him that when I saw his phone clutched in his hand, so tight his knuckles were white. I pulled it away from him and looked at it – it was open to his Twitter page, the one where you can read what fans wrote you. A lot of it was negative comments. I cursed these people for doing that to sensitive, sweet Harry. Who were they to judge? I even noticed that a lot of them had nothing to do with that night’s show, but about Harry in general, and I knew that would be a lot harder for Harry to get over than people giving him bad reviews for a performance. I took a deep breath, my heart breaking for him.
“Harry,” I said, gently. “Don’t listen to them.”
“How can I not?” he asked, tilting his head to look at me, resting his cheek on his arms. “They’re right!”
“They’re not,” I told him.
“Yeah?” he asked. “Check your Twitter and see all the bad things people say about you. Oh, wait, nobody ever has anything negative to say about you, you’re perfect Louis Tomlinson!” Harry exclaimed, standing up. I blinked, taken aback. He never spoke to me like that. Where was this coming from?
“I’m not perfect,” I reminded Harry, but my tone was a mixture of confusion and hurt from his words. “I have heard negative things about me before, too, Harry, but you just have to learn to ignore them. They don’t even know you – the ones that matter are your family and friends; the people who love you.” I stood up as well.
“See, I can’t ‘just ignore’ them, Lou! It must be nice to be so confident and badass that you don’t give a damn what other people say, but I’m not like that! And you – you not telling me how you’re feeling is killing me, Lou, it is, and I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want to pressure you but now I don’t care! It’s not helping with my self esteem to know that the only person in this world that I want to be with doesn’t want me, because if he did, he would’ve told me by now! You know what, just forget it. Forget I ever kissed you.” Harry stormed out of his dressing room before I could speak, leaving me standing there with my mouth ajar, and then silent, hot tears streamed down my own face.
We all got on the tour bus for the twenty minute drive to the hotel, where we would sleep and then leave in the morning for our next show. The guys knew Harry was upset, but they assumed it was only about his performance.
“Don’t beat yourself up, bro,” Niall told Harry, as Bill pulled the tour bus out onto the road. Niall sat down next to Harry on the bench and put his arm around Harry. I was sitting across from them at the table, and couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when Niall touched Harry. Of course he didn’t mean anything by it, but for some reason, I didn’t like it. I wanted to be the one sitting there, comforting him, touching him, but he hated me.
“I let you guys down,” Harry shook his head.
“No, you didn’t,” Liam, the “fatherly” one of the group, said, sitting down on Harry’s side. I knew they thought it was weird that I hadn’t said anything; I was always the first to comfort someone with a hug or a joke. Liam looked at me, questioning, and I could tell he wondered if I thought Harry had let us all down. “Nobody even noticed,” he assured Harry.
“You guys did,” Harry replied. “And so did everyone on Twitter,” his voice broke, and he pursed his lips. I sighed, closed my eyes for a minute, and then looked at Harry. Nobody else knew he hated me; we could at least act civil to each other for a few more minutes.
“I thought you had a great show,” I said, smiling my upbeat smile. “We were all a little rusty from the break, but it worked out just fine.” Harry looked at me, trying to figure out why I had said that, and why I had been so upbeat. He brushed his hair out of his eyes, and I could see Niall’s arm around him tighten. I knew, in that moment, that I never wanted to be without Harry, physically or emotionally, ever again. I wanted him in my life – I needed him in my life – and for the first time ever I was terrified of the future.
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 – Bournemouth, England
I gasped when I saw my best friend sitting on the floor, a mess of tears. I walked over to him, sat down next to him, and wrapped my arm around his shoulders. He leaned into me, which I took as a good sign. I knew he was upset about his performance – I could tell right away he was off, and halfway through the show I knew he knew, and he was trying so hard to fix it. Chances were, none of our fans noticed – I was sure we would all have plenty of off shows. I was about to tell him that when I saw his phone clutched in his hand, so tight his knuckles were white. I pulled it away from him and looked at it – it was open to his Twitter page, the one where you can read what fans wrote you. A lot of it was negative comments. I cursed these people for doing that to sensitive, sweet Harry. Who were they to judge? I even noticed that a lot of them had nothing to do with that night’s show, but about Harry in general, and I knew that would be a lot harder for Harry to get over than people giving him bad reviews for a performance. I took a deep breath, my heart breaking for him.
“Harry,” I said, gently. “Don’t listen to them.”
“How can I not?” he asked, tilting his head to look at me, resting his cheek on his arms. “They’re right!”
“They’re not,” I told him.
“Yeah?” he asked. “Check your Twitter and see all the bad things people say about you. Oh, wait, nobody ever has anything negative to say about you, you’re perfect Louis Tomlinson!” Harry exclaimed, standing up. I blinked, taken aback. He never spoke to me like that. Where was this coming from?
“I’m not perfect,” I reminded Harry, but my tone was a mixture of confusion and hurt from his words. “I have heard negative things about me before, too, Harry, but you just have to learn to ignore them. They don’t even know you – the ones that matter are your family and friends; the people who love you.” I stood up as well.
“See, I can’t ‘just ignore’ them, Lou! It must be nice to be so confident and badass that you don’t give a damn what other people say, but I’m not like that! And you – you not telling me how you’re feeling is killing me, Lou, it is, and I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want to pressure you but now I don’t care! It’s not helping with my self esteem to know that the only person in this world that I want to be with doesn’t want me, because if he did, he would’ve told me by now! You know what, just forget it. Forget I ever kissed you.” Harry stormed out of his dressing room before I could speak, leaving me standing there with my mouth ajar, and then silent, hot tears streamed down my own face.
We all got on the tour bus for the twenty minute drive to the hotel, where we would sleep and then leave in the morning for our next show. The guys knew Harry was upset, but they assumed it was only about his performance.
“Don’t beat yourself up, bro,” Niall told Harry, as Bill pulled the tour bus out onto the road. Niall sat down next to Harry on the bench and put his arm around Harry. I was sitting across from them at the table, and couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when Niall touched Harry. Of course he didn’t mean anything by it, but for some reason, I didn’t like it. I wanted to be the one sitting there, comforting him, touching him, but he hated me.
“I let you guys down,” Harry shook his head.
“No, you didn’t,” Liam, the “fatherly” one of the group, said, sitting down on Harry’s side. I knew they thought it was weird that I hadn’t said anything; I was always the first to comfort someone with a hug or a joke. Liam looked at me, questioning, and I could tell he wondered if I thought Harry had let us all down. “Nobody even noticed,” he assured Harry.
“You guys did,” Harry replied. “And so did everyone on Twitter,” his voice broke, and he pursed his lips. I sighed, closed my eyes for a minute, and then looked at Harry. Nobody else knew he hated me; we could at least act civil to each other for a few more minutes.
“I thought you had a great show,” I said, smiling my upbeat smile. “We were all a little rusty from the break, but it worked out just fine.” Harry looked at me, trying to figure out why I had said that, and why I had been so upbeat. He brushed his hair out of his eyes, and I could see Niall’s arm around him tighten. I knew, in that moment, that I never wanted to be without Harry, physically or emotionally, ever again. I wanted him in my life – I needed him in my life – and for the first time ever I was terrified of the future.
Notes
Directioners,Again, set up for a breakdown...and maybe even a fight...uh-oh!! Poor Harry :-(
More drama next chapter!
@Sinthiaa
No, it's not hers, it's mine, and I can't get in touch with her or the site admins to get it taken down, grrr haha. Thank you for saying something though :-) *MUAH*
5/6/14