World Tour
Please
***Harry Styles***
Sunday, June 17th, 2012 – Anaheim, California, USA
Zayn grabbed me after I yelled at the nurse, pulled me away, then used his forearm to pin me back against the wall.
“Harry,” he said. “Get it together.” I took a deep breath. “They put Louis under a fake name so the media doesn’t find out. But they’re not gonna let you see him if you can’t calm down.” I nodded, making a strong effort to calm myself down, then Zayn went back over to the front desk, apologized to the nurse on my behalf, and then gave her the fake name they had given him when the hospital called. She looked it up, and then led us back to a private waiting room but said she didn’t know anything and we’d have to wait for a doctor. I sat down with my head in my hands, and after ten minutes of waiting, I stood up.
“I can’t take it anymore!” I exclaimed. I looked at Zayn. “What did they tell you on the phone?” Zayn and Liam exchanged a look, and I knew Zayn had told the others what had happened at some point when I wasn’t paying attention.
“Look, let’s just wait for a doctor, and then we’ll go from there,” was Zayn’s response.
“Zayn!” I begged. I had prepared myself for the worst, but the not knowing only made everything that much harder.
“Okay,” he gave in. “Sit down.” I shook my head, so Zayn stood up instead, facing me. Niall came and put his arm around me, and Zayn cleared his throat. “Louis broke his left arm – ” I could deal with that – “and he’s got a couple fractured ribs, and he’s pretty scraped up – ” so far so good – “but he did hit his head, and they won’t know if there’s any brain damage until he wakes up.” I blinked. What did that mean – until he wakes up?
“So he’s – he’s what, asleep?” I asked. If my brain had been working correctly, I would’ve understood what Zayn was saying, but things inside my head were so foggy my ability to comprehend anything had disintegrated into nothingness.
“He’s in a coma, Harry,” Liam told me, gently. I stumbled backwards into a chair, Niall’s arm guiding me.
“When the doctor called,” Zayn continued, sitting down next to me, “they were prepping him for surgery to stop the internal bleeding in his head.”
“But he – he will wake up, right?” I asked.
“Har, you know how these things are,” Liam said. “Could be a couple hours, could be a couple weeks.”
“Louis’s tough,” Niall chimed in. “I’m sure he’ll pull out of this just fine.”
“Don’t do that,” I said to him. “Don’t get my hopes up unless you know for sure that he’s going to be okay.”
“I think we just need to hope for the best, man,” Zayn told me.
“God this is all my fault!” I exclaimed. I grabbed my hair in frustration.
“Don’t go there,” Liam told me. “You had no control over this.”
“I drove him away!”
“There was no way you could’ve known this would happen,” Zayn said.
“Harry, we’re all worried about him,” Niall reminded me. I looked at him – he was right. For the first time since we’d gotten the news Louis was in the hospital, I realized that the other guys cared a great deal about Louis, too. They loved him, and they were worried. For some reason, that comforted me, to know I wasn’t alone in my sorrow.
A couple of the band managers arrived then, and Zayn went to tell them what was going on, then they went to a separate waiting room so we could have our privacy. They knew how good of friends we all were, and probably could sense how upset I was. Little did they know that my last words to Louis had been breaking up with him.
I don’t know how much time passed with no news, but finally Liam got up to go see if he could find something out. He came back from the nurse’s station, his face flushed.
“Louis’s out of surgery,” he told us. I jumped to my feet. “But he’s still not awake, and they don’t know when – or if – he will wake up.” If? What the hell did he mean “if” he would wake up?
“Are we able to go see him?” Niall asked Liam, voicing the question that I was unable to speak because my brain couldn’t connect with my mouth. Liam nodded.
“One at a time,” he said, looking at me. “Go ahead. He’s in room three twenty two.” I nodded, and then, nervous for some reason, made my way back to Louis’s room. I paused outside his door for a moment to gather myself, then walked in.
Louis was laying there, his skin whiter than I’d ever seen, his head wrapped in a bandage with a few cuts on his face. I could see the cast on his left arm, which was resting above the sheets. I walked over and gently took his hand in mine, careful not to hurt him, and then I sat down in the chair at his bedside. I just stared at him for awhile, disbelieving this had really happened, wishing I could wake up from this horrendous nightmare. I wanted to apologize, to tell him I didn’t mean what I had said, that I didn’t really want to break up and I couldn’t bear to be without him. But for the first five minutes, all I could do was just cry. Finally, without wanting to admit to myself that this could be my last chance to tell him how I felt, I got enough strength to speak.
“Lou,” I said, my voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry I did this to you. I never meant to break up with you, and I’m not just saying that because you’re in the hospital. I really thought I wasn’t worthy of your love, but, it’s not up to me to decide who you do or don’t love. I need you, Lou, you’re my everything, you can’t do this to me, you can’t leave me!” I started to cry all over again. “Please wake up,” I whispered through tears, holding tightly to his hand as I rested my head on his shoulder. Finally, the guys came in to check on me.
“We bribed the nurses with autographs,” Liam explained. I nodded, and then the guys gathered around Louis and talked to him just like I had been, only more casually. Finally, Liam put his arm around me.
“Come on,” he said. “We should get some rest.”
“I’m not leaving him,” I stated, and my voice was harsh enough that they knew better than to argue.
“You’re not staying here by yourself,” Liam told me, so all of us ended up sleeping on chairs in Louis’s room – well, they slept, restlessly – and I pretty much stared at Louis all night, my whole entire being aching more than I even knew possible.
Sunday, June 17th, 2012 – Anaheim, California, USA
Zayn grabbed me after I yelled at the nurse, pulled me away, then used his forearm to pin me back against the wall.
“Harry,” he said. “Get it together.” I took a deep breath. “They put Louis under a fake name so the media doesn’t find out. But they’re not gonna let you see him if you can’t calm down.” I nodded, making a strong effort to calm myself down, then Zayn went back over to the front desk, apologized to the nurse on my behalf, and then gave her the fake name they had given him when the hospital called. She looked it up, and then led us back to a private waiting room but said she didn’t know anything and we’d have to wait for a doctor. I sat down with my head in my hands, and after ten minutes of waiting, I stood up.
“I can’t take it anymore!” I exclaimed. I looked at Zayn. “What did they tell you on the phone?” Zayn and Liam exchanged a look, and I knew Zayn had told the others what had happened at some point when I wasn’t paying attention.
“Look, let’s just wait for a doctor, and then we’ll go from there,” was Zayn’s response.
“Zayn!” I begged. I had prepared myself for the worst, but the not knowing only made everything that much harder.
“Okay,” he gave in. “Sit down.” I shook my head, so Zayn stood up instead, facing me. Niall came and put his arm around me, and Zayn cleared his throat. “Louis broke his left arm – ” I could deal with that – “and he’s got a couple fractured ribs, and he’s pretty scraped up – ” so far so good – “but he did hit his head, and they won’t know if there’s any brain damage until he wakes up.” I blinked. What did that mean – until he wakes up?
“So he’s – he’s what, asleep?” I asked. If my brain had been working correctly, I would’ve understood what Zayn was saying, but things inside my head were so foggy my ability to comprehend anything had disintegrated into nothingness.
“He’s in a coma, Harry,” Liam told me, gently. I stumbled backwards into a chair, Niall’s arm guiding me.
“When the doctor called,” Zayn continued, sitting down next to me, “they were prepping him for surgery to stop the internal bleeding in his head.”
“But he – he will wake up, right?” I asked.
“Har, you know how these things are,” Liam said. “Could be a couple hours, could be a couple weeks.”
“Louis’s tough,” Niall chimed in. “I’m sure he’ll pull out of this just fine.”
“Don’t do that,” I said to him. “Don’t get my hopes up unless you know for sure that he’s going to be okay.”
“I think we just need to hope for the best, man,” Zayn told me.
“God this is all my fault!” I exclaimed. I grabbed my hair in frustration.
“Don’t go there,” Liam told me. “You had no control over this.”
“I drove him away!”
“There was no way you could’ve known this would happen,” Zayn said.
“Harry, we’re all worried about him,” Niall reminded me. I looked at him – he was right. For the first time since we’d gotten the news Louis was in the hospital, I realized that the other guys cared a great deal about Louis, too. They loved him, and they were worried. For some reason, that comforted me, to know I wasn’t alone in my sorrow.
A couple of the band managers arrived then, and Zayn went to tell them what was going on, then they went to a separate waiting room so we could have our privacy. They knew how good of friends we all were, and probably could sense how upset I was. Little did they know that my last words to Louis had been breaking up with him.
I don’t know how much time passed with no news, but finally Liam got up to go see if he could find something out. He came back from the nurse’s station, his face flushed.
“Louis’s out of surgery,” he told us. I jumped to my feet. “But he’s still not awake, and they don’t know when – or if – he will wake up.” If? What the hell did he mean “if” he would wake up?
“Are we able to go see him?” Niall asked Liam, voicing the question that I was unable to speak because my brain couldn’t connect with my mouth. Liam nodded.
“One at a time,” he said, looking at me. “Go ahead. He’s in room three twenty two.” I nodded, and then, nervous for some reason, made my way back to Louis’s room. I paused outside his door for a moment to gather myself, then walked in.
Louis was laying there, his skin whiter than I’d ever seen, his head wrapped in a bandage with a few cuts on his face. I could see the cast on his left arm, which was resting above the sheets. I walked over and gently took his hand in mine, careful not to hurt him, and then I sat down in the chair at his bedside. I just stared at him for awhile, disbelieving this had really happened, wishing I could wake up from this horrendous nightmare. I wanted to apologize, to tell him I didn’t mean what I had said, that I didn’t really want to break up and I couldn’t bear to be without him. But for the first five minutes, all I could do was just cry. Finally, without wanting to admit to myself that this could be my last chance to tell him how I felt, I got enough strength to speak.
“Lou,” I said, my voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry I did this to you. I never meant to break up with you, and I’m not just saying that because you’re in the hospital. I really thought I wasn’t worthy of your love, but, it’s not up to me to decide who you do or don’t love. I need you, Lou, you’re my everything, you can’t do this to me, you can’t leave me!” I started to cry all over again. “Please wake up,” I whispered through tears, holding tightly to his hand as I rested my head on his shoulder. Finally, the guys came in to check on me.
“We bribed the nurses with autographs,” Liam explained. I nodded, and then the guys gathered around Louis and talked to him just like I had been, only more casually. Finally, Liam put his arm around me.
“Come on,” he said. “We should get some rest.”
“I’m not leaving him,” I stated, and my voice was harsh enough that they knew better than to argue.
“You’re not staying here by yourself,” Liam told me, so all of us ended up sleeping on chairs in Louis’s room – well, they slept, restlessly – and I pretty much stared at Louis all night, my whole entire being aching more than I even knew possible.
Notes
It is still Harry’s point of view because poor Louis can’t talk right now...sorry! :-(LOUIS!!!!!! WAKE UP YOU SEXY, SEXY MAN!!
@Sinthiaa
No, it's not hers, it's mine, and I can't get in touch with her or the site admins to get it taken down, grrr haha. Thank you for saying something though :-) *MUAH*
5/6/14