***Louis Tomlinson***
Sunday, June 17th, 2012 – Anaheim, California, USA

“Can’t – can’t do what?” I asked Harry, terrified of the answer.

“I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, quite the contrast from the yelling we’d been doing.

“I do love you,” I sobbed. “I do, and I’m sorry if I don’t say it enough, I’ll try harder, Harry, I will.”

“You don’t have to pretend,” Harry shook his head. “I get it. I never expected you to fall in love with me; I’m sorry for wasting five months and fourteen days of your time.” I actually felt my heart break, not just once, but a million times over, into a billion pieces. I almost couldn’t breathe, and I certainly couldn’t hold myself up. I backed against the wall for support.

“Are – are you breaking up with me?” I asked, wishing I hadn’t asked that because I didn’t want him to say the answer I knew he would. Harry just nodded. “What happened to being together forever?” I demanded. “What happened to never leaving me, Harry?! To fighting for me until the day you die?”

“Lou, I’ll fight for you but I’m really sick of fighting with you. What we had – it was all a pipe dream,” Harry shook his head and stood up again, starting in on a new round of tears. “I knew it was too good to be true.”

“No it wasn’t! You’re the one who wanted me, remember? And now you’ve made me fall in love with you just so you can rip my heart out! I don’t understand! We were real, Harry, we are real!” I covered my face with my hands.

“Are we, Lou? Because if we were, then I feel like you’d be able to open up to me.”

“I’ve been trying!” I yelled. “I’m sorry that I’m not very good at it, but you never brought it up as an issue before so how the hell was I supposed to know it was bothering you?!”

“Same way you expect me to know you love me when you never bring it up!”

“I do!” I cried, falling to my knees. “I do love you!”

“You’re lying to both of us!” he exclaimed. There was a knock on the door – I was sure it was the hotel manager to yell at us for being so loud – so I picked myself up and went to answer it. Zayn was standing on the other side.

“What the hell is going on in here?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing, just that Harry hates me,” I said, stepping back to let him in.

“I don’t hate you!” Harry yelled. “I just hate that you’ve let me believe that we could happen for so long!”

“Five months and fourteen days!” I reminded him, loudly. It was like we had switched personalities – Harry was the one being stoic, while I was baring my soul to him as best I knew how, the only way I knew to keep him from doing this.

“Well that’s where it stops!” he exclaimed. I wanted to die, but the walls around each piece of my broken heart shot up past the ceiling.

“Fine!” I yelled, and turned to leave.

“Louis,” Zayn said, grabbing my arm.

“Don’t!” I said to him, yanking my arm away. “Don’t talk to me. I quit, I quit the band, I quit all of you!” I hollered, then flew out the door and took off down the hallway.

I never lost my cool like that, I never went off of emotions instead of rationality, but Harry did something to me. He pulled the deepest parts of my soul out, and it scared me, because it was like I didn’t recognize myself when things like that happened. I ran down the stairs and outside the hotel, needing the fresh air, and I began walking down the sidewalk, angrily wiping my eyes every five seconds as the tears wouldn’t stop coming, no matter how badly I willed them to go away.

Harry had just broken up with me. The single most important thing I had in this world had left me, and I wasn’t quite sure why. He thought I didn’t love him? He thought I’d been lying to him this whole time? Me, the worst liar in the universe? I could act, but I couldn’t lie, and Harry knew the difference. Had I really just quit the band, too? Did I even mean to do that? There was no way I could still be in the band, having to be around Harry every day and knowing he wasn’t mine. I needed to talk to someone – no, I needed Harry. Harry was the only one I could ever need. I had a sudden urge to run back into that hotel room and kiss him, hoping that would change his mind, but I didn’t, I couldn’t, so I got a taxi instead and told the driver to just drive around until his shift was over and I’d match the tip to the fare. He did, and after five minutes I started to breathe like a normal person again. I noticed the cab driver had a picture of his family on the dashboard – his apparent wife and two little kids with him in front of a Christmas tree – and I stared at it longingly, realizing that without Harry, I would never have that. Tearing my eyes away from the photo because I knew it was only making things worse, I glanced out the window just in time to see a truck run a red light and come plummeting into the driver’s side of the taxi; the side I was sitting on.