World Tour
Tease
***Louis Tomlinson***
Sunday, January 29th, 2012 – North London, England
I couldn’t believe Harry had almost just walked away from us when I was still broken from my parents doing the same thing. I understood his reasoning, I did, but he didn’t seem to have gotten it through his thick skull that I was in this, for good. It wasn’t a test to see if I liked it – it was very real to me. I had told Harry one night on the tour how I had always felt something more than friendship towards him, but I hadn’t known what it was until he kissed me. I needed him to know that it wasn’t just him who was into guys, I was right there with him even if it was harder for me to admit. And the reaction I got from my parents sure wasn’t going to make it any easier to admit, but Harry was. Harry always made everything better, and when he hugged me after our little spat, I was reminded of how much I needed that boy, forever. He was so sweet, so kind and always thinking of everyone else, almost to a fault, because it meant he didn’t take care of himself as much as he should.
That Wednesday – February first – was Harry’s eighteenth birthday. I wanted to make a big deal out of it and throw him a big production, and he let me. The guys all came over and we set the house up, and then invited pretty much everyone we knew over for the party. Things got crazy – everyone was drinking. Liam’s girlfriend, Danielle, who was one of our backup dancers, had brought a bunch of her friends over. She and Liam walked over to Harry and I while we were talking, bringing one of her friends along.
“I want you to meet your birthday present, Harry,” Danielle said to my boyfriend. “This is my friend, Jewel.” Harry and I refrained from glancing at each other – of course Danielle would think Jewel would be a legit birthday present for Harry.
Ever since we had gotten together as a group – and probably before that – Harry had been a ladies’ man. He loved the attention from the girls and often had had a different one sleeping over. Of course, now I knew that was mostly his was of ignoring the truth, but none of the guys knew that. And Jewel was cute, too – for a girl.
“It’s nice to meet you, Jewel,” Harry said, sticking his hand out to shake hers. We knew Liam would find it suspicious if he acted any differently around Jewel than they were used to seeing him with all the other girls. Of course, there was always the option of making up girlfriends, but we knew we couldn’t lie to the guys like that and that eventually it would blow up – like when they realized our “girlfriends” were imaginary (they were smart guys). So far, Harry and I hadn’t had to lie to our band mates – we’d had to hide, sure, but not lie. Yet.
Turned out, Jewel was a Stage Five Clinger. She followed Harry around everywhere after that – and the more she drank, the worse it got. Harry was too nice to say anything, but when she didn’t leave when everyone else except the guys did, we both began to wonder. The only people left were Liam, Danielle, Zayn and his girlfriend Perrie, Niall, and Jewel – the rest having taken cabs home.
“Do you want me to call you a cab?” I asked Jewel, hoping she’d get the point.
“Oh, no thanks, Harry invited me stay over,” she said, slurring her words. I glanced at Harry to see if that were true.
“On the couch,” he stated, taking her arms from where she had secured them around his waist and leading her over to the couch. The other guys looked at him funny – Jewel was pretty and Harry had rarely, if ever, turned down an open invitation from a pretty girl, no matter how annoying she may be. Harry looked at me, apologetically. “I don’t think she’d be able to tell the cab driver where she lived,” he whispered in my ear so the others wouldn’t hear. Jewel looked up at Harry from the couch and pouted.
“What’s wrong with your bed?” she asked him. “Are you gay?” she gasped.
“Um,” Harry started, unable to come up with an excuse. The guys were all glancing at each other, probably starting to think the same thing. Harry buckled under the pressure. “No, of course not. Nothing, nothing’s wrong with my bed, come on.” My heart sank as I watched him lead Jewel up to his bedroom. I knew he wouldn’t do anything; Harry would never cheat, guy or girl, but I still didn’t like it, and I didn’t like that he denied being gay or lied to our friends, even though I knew he didn’t really have a choice. Besides, the only other person who should be allowed in Harry’s bed with Harry was me, and maybe the other guys if they were just hanging out. Harry didn’t look at me on his way up the stairs, knowing the guys would notice if he did, and probably worried about my reaction. I plastered on a smile and asked anyone if they needed blankets or pillows.
Once the others were settled on the couches, I went up to my room, sad and disappointed. I had wanted Harry’s birthday to be special – I had wanted to give him his “present” that night. It would be the first time either of us performed a sexual act on the other – needless to say, we were taking it slow, mostly for my sake. I was finally ready, and had hoped that night would be the start of the next step in our relationship. I hadn’t counted on the others still being there, although it made sense when I calculated how much alcohol we’d had at the house.
My phone buzzed with a text message as I changed into my pajamas. It was from Harry. I didn’t want to read it, at first, but I remembered this wasn’t his fault – there hadn’t been any out for him. I opened it up. “As soon as she passes out I’m coming to see you” he had written. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see him anymore…what was I talking about? Of course I wanted to see Harry. Angry and hurt as I was, I hated not being around him. He was like an addiction. But I didn’t want him to think I was okay with him lying, so I just wrote back with “K”, then laid in my bed with my arms behind my bed until he tiptoed in fifteen minutes later. He quietly shut the door behind him and climbed in my bed next to me.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “She couldn’t keep her hands off me.”
“Oh, great,” I muttered sarcastically. Harry glanced at me, and recognized the tension.
“I didn’t touch her back,” he told me, thinking I was worried about that. I just nodded. “Lou?” he whispered, concerned.
“You lied to our best friends,” I explained.
“What else would you have had me do?” he asked. We were both whispering, but could tell the anger in the other one’s voice. “‘Why, yes, I am gay, thanks for noticing,’,” he said in a mock tone, “‘and this here’s my boyfriend, Louis!’?!”
“Yes!” I exclaimed as best I could in a whisper, and then quickly, “No. I don’t know. It just sucks, having to lie to them.”
“I know,” Harry replied. “But did you really think we’d get away with never having to?”
“Maybe it’s time we come clean with the band,” I said, but it was evident that was the last thing I wanted. I still wasn’t ready to risk losing the band yet. I still hadn’t had to lie to them yet, but after watching Harry do it, I felt like we were betraying our best friends.
“Are you ready for that?” Harry asked me.
“I’m not sure we have another choice,” I replied. “At least not one that doesn’t involve lying to the guys.”
“Your loyalty is a turn on, you know,” Harry told me. I smiled, but it wasn’t my normal, upbeat smile.
“I was going to give you your birthday present tonight, you know,” I told Harry, speaking of turn ons.
“You already did,” he said, referring to the iPod I had given him earlier. “And you threw me this awesome party.”
“No, I mean, your present,” I emphasized. He looked at me, realization clicking in his eyes. He grinned.
“Well, who says you still can’t?” he teased.
“Are you kidding? With your vocal chords? Once they hear your screams coming from my room and not yours, we’ll be outed.”
“Well, then, we wouldn’t have to worry about having to tell them now would we?” he tried, but I knew he was joking. I put him in a headlock and then kissed his hair.
“Tomorrow night,” I promised him. “But don’t expect tomorrow to go by fast.” He knew what I meant – I was already coming up with multiple ways to tease him throughout the day. He readjusted our positions so we were holding each other, and then we fell asleep.
Sunday, January 29th, 2012 – North London, England
I couldn’t believe Harry had almost just walked away from us when I was still broken from my parents doing the same thing. I understood his reasoning, I did, but he didn’t seem to have gotten it through his thick skull that I was in this, for good. It wasn’t a test to see if I liked it – it was very real to me. I had told Harry one night on the tour how I had always felt something more than friendship towards him, but I hadn’t known what it was until he kissed me. I needed him to know that it wasn’t just him who was into guys, I was right there with him even if it was harder for me to admit. And the reaction I got from my parents sure wasn’t going to make it any easier to admit, but Harry was. Harry always made everything better, and when he hugged me after our little spat, I was reminded of how much I needed that boy, forever. He was so sweet, so kind and always thinking of everyone else, almost to a fault, because it meant he didn’t take care of himself as much as he should.
That Wednesday – February first – was Harry’s eighteenth birthday. I wanted to make a big deal out of it and throw him a big production, and he let me. The guys all came over and we set the house up, and then invited pretty much everyone we knew over for the party. Things got crazy – everyone was drinking. Liam’s girlfriend, Danielle, who was one of our backup dancers, had brought a bunch of her friends over. She and Liam walked over to Harry and I while we were talking, bringing one of her friends along.
“I want you to meet your birthday present, Harry,” Danielle said to my boyfriend. “This is my friend, Jewel.” Harry and I refrained from glancing at each other – of course Danielle would think Jewel would be a legit birthday present for Harry.
Ever since we had gotten together as a group – and probably before that – Harry had been a ladies’ man. He loved the attention from the girls and often had had a different one sleeping over. Of course, now I knew that was mostly his was of ignoring the truth, but none of the guys knew that. And Jewel was cute, too – for a girl.
“It’s nice to meet you, Jewel,” Harry said, sticking his hand out to shake hers. We knew Liam would find it suspicious if he acted any differently around Jewel than they were used to seeing him with all the other girls. Of course, there was always the option of making up girlfriends, but we knew we couldn’t lie to the guys like that and that eventually it would blow up – like when they realized our “girlfriends” were imaginary (they were smart guys). So far, Harry and I hadn’t had to lie to our band mates – we’d had to hide, sure, but not lie. Yet.
Turned out, Jewel was a Stage Five Clinger. She followed Harry around everywhere after that – and the more she drank, the worse it got. Harry was too nice to say anything, but when she didn’t leave when everyone else except the guys did, we both began to wonder. The only people left were Liam, Danielle, Zayn and his girlfriend Perrie, Niall, and Jewel – the rest having taken cabs home.
“Do you want me to call you a cab?” I asked Jewel, hoping she’d get the point.
“Oh, no thanks, Harry invited me stay over,” she said, slurring her words. I glanced at Harry to see if that were true.
“On the couch,” he stated, taking her arms from where she had secured them around his waist and leading her over to the couch. The other guys looked at him funny – Jewel was pretty and Harry had rarely, if ever, turned down an open invitation from a pretty girl, no matter how annoying she may be. Harry looked at me, apologetically. “I don’t think she’d be able to tell the cab driver where she lived,” he whispered in my ear so the others wouldn’t hear. Jewel looked up at Harry from the couch and pouted.
“What’s wrong with your bed?” she asked him. “Are you gay?” she gasped.
“Um,” Harry started, unable to come up with an excuse. The guys were all glancing at each other, probably starting to think the same thing. Harry buckled under the pressure. “No, of course not. Nothing, nothing’s wrong with my bed, come on.” My heart sank as I watched him lead Jewel up to his bedroom. I knew he wouldn’t do anything; Harry would never cheat, guy or girl, but I still didn’t like it, and I didn’t like that he denied being gay or lied to our friends, even though I knew he didn’t really have a choice. Besides, the only other person who should be allowed in Harry’s bed with Harry was me, and maybe the other guys if they were just hanging out. Harry didn’t look at me on his way up the stairs, knowing the guys would notice if he did, and probably worried about my reaction. I plastered on a smile and asked anyone if they needed blankets or pillows.
Once the others were settled on the couches, I went up to my room, sad and disappointed. I had wanted Harry’s birthday to be special – I had wanted to give him his “present” that night. It would be the first time either of us performed a sexual act on the other – needless to say, we were taking it slow, mostly for my sake. I was finally ready, and had hoped that night would be the start of the next step in our relationship. I hadn’t counted on the others still being there, although it made sense when I calculated how much alcohol we’d had at the house.
My phone buzzed with a text message as I changed into my pajamas. It was from Harry. I didn’t want to read it, at first, but I remembered this wasn’t his fault – there hadn’t been any out for him. I opened it up. “As soon as she passes out I’m coming to see you” he had written. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see him anymore…what was I talking about? Of course I wanted to see Harry. Angry and hurt as I was, I hated not being around him. He was like an addiction. But I didn’t want him to think I was okay with him lying, so I just wrote back with “K”, then laid in my bed with my arms behind my bed until he tiptoed in fifteen minutes later. He quietly shut the door behind him and climbed in my bed next to me.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “She couldn’t keep her hands off me.”
“Oh, great,” I muttered sarcastically. Harry glanced at me, and recognized the tension.
“I didn’t touch her back,” he told me, thinking I was worried about that. I just nodded. “Lou?” he whispered, concerned.
“You lied to our best friends,” I explained.
“What else would you have had me do?” he asked. We were both whispering, but could tell the anger in the other one’s voice. “‘Why, yes, I am gay, thanks for noticing,’,” he said in a mock tone, “‘and this here’s my boyfriend, Louis!’?!”
“Yes!” I exclaimed as best I could in a whisper, and then quickly, “No. I don’t know. It just sucks, having to lie to them.”
“I know,” Harry replied. “But did you really think we’d get away with never having to?”
“Maybe it’s time we come clean with the band,” I said, but it was evident that was the last thing I wanted. I still wasn’t ready to risk losing the band yet. I still hadn’t had to lie to them yet, but after watching Harry do it, I felt like we were betraying our best friends.
“Are you ready for that?” Harry asked me.
“I’m not sure we have another choice,” I replied. “At least not one that doesn’t involve lying to the guys.”
“Your loyalty is a turn on, you know,” Harry told me. I smiled, but it wasn’t my normal, upbeat smile.
“I was going to give you your birthday present tonight, you know,” I told Harry, speaking of turn ons.
“You already did,” he said, referring to the iPod I had given him earlier. “And you threw me this awesome party.”
“No, I mean, your present,” I emphasized. He looked at me, realization clicking in his eyes. He grinned.
“Well, who says you still can’t?” he teased.
“Are you kidding? With your vocal chords? Once they hear your screams coming from my room and not yours, we’ll be outed.”
“Well, then, we wouldn’t have to worry about having to tell them now would we?” he tried, but I knew he was joking. I put him in a headlock and then kissed his hair.
“Tomorrow night,” I promised him. “But don’t expect tomorrow to go by fast.” He knew what I meant – I was already coming up with multiple ways to tease him throughout the day. He readjusted our positions so we were holding each other, and then we fell asleep.
Notes
Directioners,I feel like the part about Harry being "loud" is probably pretty true...ha!
@Sinthiaa
No, it's not hers, it's mine, and I can't get in touch with her or the site admins to get it taken down, grrr haha. Thank you for saying something though :-) *MUAH*
5/6/14