***Harry Styles***
Sunday, January 22nd, 2012 – London, England

We had just finished a show at the HMV Hammersmith Apollo in London, England and were rushing to get on a plane to Dublin for our show on Tuesday. We would be spending all day Monday and Monday night at Niall’s family’s house an hour outside of Dublin, which would be a welcome change to all the hotels and was very kind of his mom and step dad to open their home to us. I knew Niall was looking forward to seeing his parents – he talked about them a lot, and of all of us he was definitely the most homesick. He didn’t complain, though, and kept trucking along.

Things between Louis and I were great. One of us would sneak into the other’s hotel room at night after the others turned in, and we’d kiss and talk and fall asleep in each other’s arms. I loved every second that I got to spend with Louis, and he seemed to be transitioning okay. So far, we hadn’t let on to anyone that something was going on, and if anyone would be able to tell it would’ve been the other three guys. It did seem to me, however, that Louis had been touching me more than usual in public, which was already a lot. I, of course, didn’t mind, and would just do it right back to him. Again, nobody thought this was different or weird. Louis and I had decided the first step would be coming out to our families, which we would be doing that coming weekend. Our last show of the UK leg was on Thursday, and then we were off until April when we would start the Oceania tour. I was looking forward to the vacation – it meant alone time with Louis without having to sneak around. Although the thrill of that was a turn on, I hated lying to our friends, and I know he did, too. It also could get stressful in case we stopped being careful and got caught. So far, that hadn’t happened. I was almost even starting to feel happy for the first time in…well, ever.

We all slept through the flight and took a car to Niall’s parents, who welcomed us with open arms. His older brother, Greg, was there, as well as his father, who was still on good terms with his mom. We spent the day visiting with them, and it was cool to get to know where Niall came from.

We played Tuesday night in Dublin, then Wednesday and Thursday we played in Belfast, then the tour was over. We had a hotel room in Belfast, and would fly back to England on Friday, when Louis and I would go straight to my parents’ house, and then his. I was nervous, but I knew I had Louis, no matter what happened with my family.

Thursday after the show, we were all pumped from how well the performance was and that we had some down time for a couple months. We all gathered in Zayn’s hotel room, too keyed up to go to sleep just yet, even though it was after midnight. Niall left to go get something from his room, but he didn’t come back. I knew he had been quiet since we left Dublin, so I mentioned to the guys how he’d been gone for awhile, and we all got up to check on him.

Zayn, who was the closest to Niall, knocked lightly on his hotel room door.

“Nialler?” he asked, using his nickname. Niall opened the door enough so Zayn could grab it and hold it open, then Niall walked back into his room and sat down at the little table. His eyes were red.

“Hey, Kid, what’s wrong?” Louis asked Niall. I felt a little twinge of jealousy – “Kid” was my nickname from Louis. Niall just shook his head. “I mean, I know you’re going to miss me, but I only live a few blocks away from you,” Louis joked. Niall, who was always an easy target because he laughed at everything, didn’t even crack a smile. Instead, he pulled the collar of his shirt up over his face. Louis and I exchanged a look, and we knew this was serious.

“Talk to us,” Zayn told Niall, massaging his shoulders. See – Louis and I weren’t the only ones who did that. Liam pulled out the chair from across Niall and sat facing him, tapping his knee. Niall looked up at the ceiling, and tears spilled from his eyes.

“What’s going on?” Liam asked.

“I’m feeling a little homesick,” he said in his thick Irish drawl.

“A little?” Zayn questioned.

“Okay, a lot,” Niall replied. “I thought I was okay, but then when I went home on Monday, I remembered how much I missed Ireland. And it’s not like I can spend a lot of time there on break because we have so much recording and rehearsing and interviews to do.”

“This has probably been hardest for you out of all of us, since at least we’re all from England and most of what we do happens there,” Louis observed. “I guess none of us really realized how much harder it is on you, because you never complain.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’d be able to be as strong as you’ve been if I were in your shoes,” I said, bouncing off of what Louis had just said. “I’d whine all the time.”

“You do that anyway,” Zayn joked at me. I made a face at him.

“I’m sorry if we haven’t been paying attention to how you’ve been feeling,” Liam told Niall, ignoring mine and Zayn’s silliness. “But you know we’re all here if you need to talk, bro, you can always come to us.”

“Absolutely,” Zayn added, squeezing Niall’s shoulders.

“And maybe we can work the schedule out to let you go home for a couple days here and there,” Louis suggested, ruffling Niall’s hair. Again, my chest tightened – that was what Louis did with my hair – he loved my curly hair.

“I think that makes it worse,” Niall replied. At least he was honest. “Sorry, guys, I don’t mean to be a burden.”

Zayn leaned over Niall and wrapped his arms around Niall’s shoulders, his mouth at Niall’s ear.

“You’re not a burden,” Zayn told Niall, firmly. “Ever. We’re your friends. This is why we’re here. Don’t hesitate to come to us.”

“Yeah, bro, if you hide this stuff it’s just going to put a strain on the band,” Liam added. Again, Louis and I exchanged a look, hoping what we were doing wasn’t putting a strain on the band. We talked Niall down, and Zayn stayed with him while the rest of us went back to our rooms, me sneaking into Louis’s once I heard Liam go into his.

Notes

Directioners,

I hope you are all starting to find interest into this fan fiction !