***Harry Styles***
Sunday, August 19th, 2012 – North London, England

“I’m gonna go for a walk,” Louis stated with his back turned towards me after my horribly insensitive comment about Abby. I was upset that he’d brought up my cutting, but I knew my comment was way out of line before the words even came out of my mouth. Of course he’d be angry. I decided to give him a few minutes before I went after him so we both could cool down. I figured I’d find him at his favorite park when I was ready. I sat down next to Liam once Louis walked out the front door, and he put his hand on my back.

“I’m sorry,” Liam apologized.

“Not your fault,” I told him. “I’m the idiot.”

“See, Harry, it’s thoughts like those that make you so depressed. You’re not an idiot. You need to start thinking good things about yourself.”

“How can I think anything good about me when I say horrible things like that to Louis?”

“One comment out of anger doesn’t make you a bad person,” Liam said. I looked at him – it was like he had done a complete one eighty from the mess Louis and I had seen last night.

“And one too many drinks doesn’t make you a bad person, either,” I told him.

“Why did you get so defensive when Louis suggested professional help?” Liam asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t want to feel like things have gotten so out of control that I need some stranger to step into my life and fix it. God, no wonder Louis left, I’m probably not making things any easier on him.”

“He’s always been the strong one,” Liam said. “That was bound to take its toll on him eventually.”

“I’m gonna go find him,” I told Liam. “I’ll call Niall and see if he’ll come hang out with you.” I figured Louis had probably already called Zayn.

“I don’t need a baby-sitter,” Liam told me.

“Liam, you were so far gone last night,” I shook my head, remembering. “It was scary.” He sighed.

“Fine,” he gave in. I called Niall and he came over, then I left and headed to Louis’s park.

I walked around the park, but there was no sign of Louis, so I called his cell phone. Liam picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hello?” he said.

“Oh, good, Liam, is Louis back?” I asked, turning around to head home.

“No, I guess he left his phone here,” Liam replied. Crap.

“He’s not at the park,” I said, starting to worry.

“He’s probably at Zayn’s, did you try calling him?” Good idea.

“Good idea,” I said, then hung up with Liam and called Zayn.

“What’s up, H?” Zayn answered the phone.

“Is Louis there?” I asked.

“No. Is he supposed to be?”

“I can’t find him!” I exclaimed, not sure why I was getting so upset.

“Whoa, okay, calm down,” Zayn said. “What do you mean you can’t find him? What happened?”

“I said something really mean to him, and he left to go for a walk, and I figured he’d be at that park he likes but he’s not here and Liam said he left his phone at the house and I can’t find him!”

“Harry, not long ago Louis thought he’d lost you but you were just at Liam’s, remember?” I took a deep breath, calming down.

“You’re right,” I said. “But he’s not with you, or Liam, or Niall.”

“Maybe you guys just missed each other and he’s on his way back to the house,” Zayn suggested. “I’ll meet you there?”

“Okay,” I replied. I hung up with Zayn and began running home. Louis still wasn’t there when I arrived, and I was starting to panic. Zayn walked over and put his hands on my shoulders as the four of us stood in the living room.

“Harry,” he said. “Calm down. I’m sure Louis’s fine. He hasn’t been gone that long. He’ll come home, or we’ll find him.” I nodded.

“Yeah, Louis’s smart, Harry,” Liam added. “Besides, he knows the area.” The area. The lake. How had I not thought of that before?

“The lake,” I said.

“What?” Niall asked.

“The lake I always go to – maybe he’s there!” I made to leave again, but Niall grabbed my arm and stopped me.

“I’m going with you,” he said. I nodded, grateful for the company.

“Liam and I will walk around the neighborhood,” Zayn said. “Let’s leave a note for Louis to call us in case he comes home.”

“Should we bring his phone with us though?” Liam asked. “Just in case he tries to call it from somewhere?”

“Don’t you think he’d try Harry first?” Niall suggested.

“He hates me,” I shook my head.

“No, he doesn’t,” Liam told me.

“He can just use the land line if he gets back before we do,” Zayn said. Then Niall and I left and started walking quickly to the lake.

“Liam told me what happened,” Niall said as we walked.

“I can’t believe I said to that him,” I shook my head, cursing myself for never thinking before I spoke.

“You both said things you didn’t mean,” Niall shrugged. “It’ll be okay. He’ll forgive you.”

“How are you so sure?” I asked.

“Do you forgive him for what he said?” he challenged. I sighed. Of course I did.

“Yes,” I muttered. “But I’m not the one who’s lost.”

“Louis’s not lost,” Niall told me. “He’s just not home. It hasn’t even been an hour yet, right? Maybe he just stopped to get something to eat.”

“Louis doesn’t eat when he’s upset,” I said.

“Well that’s good then – it rules out some options.” Niall had a point. We got to the lake and walked around it – no sign of Louis. I wanted to cry. “I’m going to call Liam and see where they’re at,” Niall said once we’d circled the lake twice. I nodded. Liam said he and Zayn were on the east end of town heading north, so Niall and I decided to go back home, get his car, and drive around the western and southern ends. And then, if we still didn’t find Louis…

We drove around for a couple hours. It was well after lunch time when we all reconvened at home to see if maybe Louis had gone there and just hadn’t seen the note to call. No luck.

“We gotta get back out there,” I told the guys as we stood around the kitchen.

“Harry, he’s gonna come home,” Liam assured me.

“I was horrible to him,” I stated.

“That doesn’t mean Louis just ran away,” Zayn said. “He’s rational.”

“We would’ve heard by now if he wasn’t okay,” Liam said. He made a good point. Then again, Louis didn’t have his phone, so there was no way for him to get a hold of us if something had happened.

“I’m not giving up,” I said.

“We’re not saying you should,” Zayn told me. “But maybe we should wait until it gets dark out before we really start to worry.”

“Until dark? What if that’s too late?!” I exclaimed.

“Okay, how about until dinner time then?” Liam compromised. “That’s only a couple hours away.”

“A couple hours where a lot could go wrong,” I said.

“Harry, this is Louis we’re talking about,” Zayn reminded me.

“He’s smart,” Liam said. “He can take care of himself.”

“What if he got kidnapped by a crazy fan?” I asked. It was probable.

“Then driving around aimlessly isn’t going to help anyway,” Zayn told me.

“I have an idea,” Liam said. “Why don’t we call our security? Have them do their jobs and look for him. If they still haven’t found him by dinner, then we’ll go back out.”

“Call security all you want, I’m not done searching,” I said, and I walked to the front door. The guys all sighed, giving in, then they followed me out, not wanting me to go alone. We got in Liam’s car and spent the afternoon driving around. No sign of Louis. By the time it got dark out, I knew something was wrong. I could feel it in my gut. I told Liam to make a left at the next light.

“Harry, this is a bad part of town,” Liam said, but he turned left anyway. “I doubt Louis would be over here.”

“I know,” I said. “But can we just check?” Liam nodded, and we drove around the area for a bit, looking for Louis. It was raining. “Where is my boyfriend?!” I exclaimed, starting to officially get upset. My stomach began to hurt the deeper into the neighborhood we went. It was definitely not a safe place to be at night. As Liam kept driving, I looked in front of us and thought I saw some figures up ahead. “Slow down,” I told Liam. He slowed, and as we drove by the people I witnessed something I could never unsee.

Notes

Uh-oh.