World Tour
Lilo
***Louis Tomlinson***
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012 – North London, England
After our group heart to heart on ride home, Harry, Niall, and Zayn went to the front of the bus and I asked Liam to hang back with me for a minute. I knew I had some more apologizing to do to him, and I figured I might as well while we were on the subject. He and I sat down on the couch and I looked at him.
“How are you doing?” I opened. He knew what I meant.
“I’m…okay,” he replied, honestly. Liam and I had a connection – I was the oldest and he was the most responsible, so we both felt a sense of duty towards the band and could sometimes relate on a different level than the others.
“Liam,” I said, “I am truly, truly sorry for everything I said.”
“Lou, it’s fine,” he told me.
“No, it’s not. I completely abandoned you in your time of need, Li. I was being selfish and you were right – I was worried about Harry.”
“And with good reason, it seems,” Liam told me. Why was he being so nice about this? He needed to yell at me and tell me what a jerk I’d been.
“Well, maybe so, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be there for you, as well,” I continued. “I don’t blame you for Harry’s drinking, not one little bit. He can make his own decisions. And I – I’m pretty sure I told you I didn’t care,” I had to look away so I didn’t start crying, angry with myself for ever having said that. “You have to know I didn’t mean that, not at all; of course I care about you, so much.”
“Oh, Louis, I know,” Liam nodded. “I’m the one who accused you of not caring but I was just upset. You’ve never given me reason to believe you don’t care, so I’m sorry as well. I’ve really missed you, and Harry.”
“We’ve missed you, too,” I said, and hugged Liam. “I promise I’ll be there for you, no matter what this time. So, talk to me. What’s been going on with you?”
“It’s been hard, Lou,” Liam replied, honestly. I nodded. “I just – I thought I was finally doing okay, and then I ran into Danielle, and the whole Jerry thing, and it – well, it sucks. So, yeah, I turned to alcohol, and it really does help, at least for a little while. But I’m scared, Louis, because I can’t seem to stop.” I nodded again.
“We’re going to get you through this,” I promised him. “Whatever it takes, Liam.”
“Thanks,” Liam nodded. “But I’m a little more worried about Harry at this point. Do you think he’s gonna be okay?”
“I think this helps,” I said, referring to our reunion. “But I’m scared to leave him alone.” And then I got an idea. “Liam, why don’t you come stay with us for a little?” I suggested. “That way, if I do have to go anywhere, you and Harry can hold each other accountable. He’ll keep the alcohol away from you and you’ll keep Twitter and the – the knives away from him.” I hated talking about Harry’s knives. It brought back that image of him about to stab himself every time.
“That sounds like a really good idea,” Liam said, and he almost sounded relieved that he wouldn’t be alone. “Are you sure it’ll be okay with Harry?”
“Are you kidding?” I said. “You know Harry – the more people around, the better.” Liam smiled. “I love you, Li,” I said. “Don’t ever forget that.” I was determined to be better about saying those words to everyone more often.
“I love you, too, Lou,” he told me. I smiled.
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012 – North London, England
After our group heart to heart on ride home, Harry, Niall, and Zayn went to the front of the bus and I asked Liam to hang back with me for a minute. I knew I had some more apologizing to do to him, and I figured I might as well while we were on the subject. He and I sat down on the couch and I looked at him.
“How are you doing?” I opened. He knew what I meant.
“I’m…okay,” he replied, honestly. Liam and I had a connection – I was the oldest and he was the most responsible, so we both felt a sense of duty towards the band and could sometimes relate on a different level than the others.
“Liam,” I said, “I am truly, truly sorry for everything I said.”
“Lou, it’s fine,” he told me.
“No, it’s not. I completely abandoned you in your time of need, Li. I was being selfish and you were right – I was worried about Harry.”
“And with good reason, it seems,” Liam told me. Why was he being so nice about this? He needed to yell at me and tell me what a jerk I’d been.
“Well, maybe so, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be there for you, as well,” I continued. “I don’t blame you for Harry’s drinking, not one little bit. He can make his own decisions. And I – I’m pretty sure I told you I didn’t care,” I had to look away so I didn’t start crying, angry with myself for ever having said that. “You have to know I didn’t mean that, not at all; of course I care about you, so much.”
“Oh, Louis, I know,” Liam nodded. “I’m the one who accused you of not caring but I was just upset. You’ve never given me reason to believe you don’t care, so I’m sorry as well. I’ve really missed you, and Harry.”
“We’ve missed you, too,” I said, and hugged Liam. “I promise I’ll be there for you, no matter what this time. So, talk to me. What’s been going on with you?”
“It’s been hard, Lou,” Liam replied, honestly. I nodded. “I just – I thought I was finally doing okay, and then I ran into Danielle, and the whole Jerry thing, and it – well, it sucks. So, yeah, I turned to alcohol, and it really does help, at least for a little while. But I’m scared, Louis, because I can’t seem to stop.” I nodded again.
“We’re going to get you through this,” I promised him. “Whatever it takes, Liam.”
“Thanks,” Liam nodded. “But I’m a little more worried about Harry at this point. Do you think he’s gonna be okay?”
“I think this helps,” I said, referring to our reunion. “But I’m scared to leave him alone.” And then I got an idea. “Liam, why don’t you come stay with us for a little?” I suggested. “That way, if I do have to go anywhere, you and Harry can hold each other accountable. He’ll keep the alcohol away from you and you’ll keep Twitter and the – the knives away from him.” I hated talking about Harry’s knives. It brought back that image of him about to stab himself every time.
“That sounds like a really good idea,” Liam said, and he almost sounded relieved that he wouldn’t be alone. “Are you sure it’ll be okay with Harry?”
“Are you kidding?” I said. “You know Harry – the more people around, the better.” Liam smiled. “I love you, Li,” I said. “Don’t ever forget that.” I was determined to be better about saying those words to everyone more often.
“I love you, too, Lou,” he told me. I smiled.
@Sinthiaa
No, it's not hers, it's mine, and I can't get in touch with her or the site admins to get it taken down, grrr haha. Thank you for saying something though :-) *MUAH*
5/6/14