Liam’s POV

I sat on my bed staring at the white walls of my room. I didn’t feel like doing anything. I feel numb and tired.

I should be up and hanging out with the lads but I can’t, or should I say I don't want to. I don’t feel like myself right now and I don’t want to bring them down because of my emotions.

Danielle broke up with me a few days ago and I definitely didn’t see it coming. I thought things between us were going perfectly… I was wrong. The pain has gone down a little in my heart but it’s hard to move on when you’ve created so many memories with the one you cared about.

The fans know already about the breakup. Some fans are upset – they’re not the only ones – and some are happy. How can they be happy? Don’t they realize that I might be upset over this? Do they want to see me go through a rough time now? I’m already stressing enough since we have a bunch of promos coming up and we’ll be traveling a bit. We just got done with the Take Me Home tour and I’m sad that it’s over. But then again, I’m glad it is because I don’t think I can perform like this at the moment. I just feel like lying in bed and sleeping everything off.

I know that’s not the best idea but I’m hurting right now. Peazer is over. Done.

I didn’t want it to be over. I wish I could’ve been a better boyfriend to her, I wish I could of spent time with her more, something to keep our relationship going and still alive. To Danielle, she said she didn’t feel the spark anymore. She didn’t feel like it was what it used to be like when we first started dating. She was right about that though. I wasn’t feeling the spark anymore either. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to work it out with her, I did, but she said it was over.

I’m going to miss having someone to kiss and hug and make love to. I never really liked being alone. I don’t know how Niall and Harry do it, the whole staying single. Then again, Niall and Harry only need friends to make them happy, they don’t need to be in love. I’m sure they would like to call someone theirs at some point in time but for now, they’re happy.

Why can’t I be happy? I should be.

Be happy Liam. Be grateful with who you have in your life, where you are…

But how can I be happy when the girl I love doesn’t love me anymore. How can I?


****

(Two weeks later)

I think I’m worrying everyone. Lately, all I’ve been doing is partying with Andy, drinking, cussing out the paparazzi, not being on twitter anymore, hardly leaving the house unless it’s partying with Andy and for work, and blowing off with hanging with the lads.

Sometimes I feel a dark part of me takes over my actions and I do things I don’t mean. It’s like I’m watching it all happen.

I also noticed that I’ve been getting sexually frustrated for a while now. It’s not that I’m sort of sex addict or something but I’m so used to of having someone to kiss, hug… and also have sex with… it’s hard for me that I’m alone now. It's different when I was on tour and she wasn't there in person with me but it was OK because I knew she was mine and I was hers and we were together.

I’m not into the whole one-night-stand thing so whenever I hang with Andy at the club, I always stay away from the girls.

The fans have been upset with me. I’m hurting them, our beautiful and supportive fans. They are now realizing that the breakup wasn’t something I was prepared for and liked. I do go online to see what they are saying but I have tweeted in over a week and a half. They are begging me to say something, anything, but I haven’t given in yet.

The last thing I tweet was: I’ll do my best to make it better.

The tweet was more to myself I guess. I haven’t done a great job about that but I know I will make it better.

I have to get the old Liam back. I just don’t know how.

But I do promise that he’ll be back soon.

Notes

What did you think about the first chapter? :)