I woke up the next morning, and was still snuggled up in Harry’s arms. I couldn’t live like this. We kiss, and snuggle, and flirt I think, but we aren’t dating. I need to know, that we are together, but he hasn’t said anything.
The thing I had learned about being a girl is never to make the first move. He needed to. He needed to say I love you first, and he needed to ask me out. I wasn’t going to do that.
A few minutes after I woke up, Harry started to stir. I closed my eyes, and pretended to sleep. I felt soft warm lips on mine. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled.
“Morning.” Harry said.
“Hi.” I said rubbing my eyes.
“Want to go out for breakfast?” Harry asked.
“No, I’m too lazy.” I groaned.
“Get up!” Harry shouted shaking me.
I rolled over onto my side, and pulled the blanket over my head. He was acting like we were best friends, not like he had just kissed me five minutes before, and not like we had made out yesterday, like old times, when we were just friends. Niall had said Harry was in love with me, why couldn’t Harry say it for himself?
“Fine, then I’m going out.” Harry said sadly.
“Fine.” I said.
Harry got up, and left the room. He came back, got dressed, and then left. I heard the door close, but then a few minutes later I heard it close again.
“Harry?” I called.
No answer. I walked out of the bedroom slowly.
“Harry?” I called again.
No answer.
“This isn’t funny Harry, you’re scaring me.” I said.
Before I knew it, someone’s lips were pressed against mine. This time it wasn’t Harry. I knew who it was, it was Timmy.
“Get off of me!” I screamed.
“What?” he asked.
“Why are you here, just leave.” I said.
Sure enough, Harry came through the door.
“Forgot my ph…” Harry trailed off seeing Timmy here.
“Is that why you couldn’t come out? Waiting for someone?” Harry said hurt.
“No, he snuck in, because you didn’t lock the door, I thought it was you, so it didn’t even faze me.” I said.
“Are you going to tell him what happened?” Timmy said in a mocking tone.
“What?” Harry said angrily.
“We kissed.” Timmy sneered.
Harry looked more than hurt.
“Harry, it wasn’t like that, I swear. I was looking for you, and he came up and kissed me. I didn’t kiss him back, it was a mistake.” I said my voice cracking.
“Why would it even matter? It’s not like we are together, or ever will be.” Harry said.
His words stung my heart. I ran into our room, and slammed the door behind me. I heard Harry and Timmy talking outside.
“Got out of my house.” Harry said.
“Already on my way.” Timmy said.
I heard the door close, and Harry swearing and mumbling. My heart was broken. Harry the one person I truly loved, just said we would never be together. That was one of the most hurtful things I had ever heard. I wasn’t about to sit here, and sulk in my pity party. I got up and left the bedroom.
“Why did you kiss me then!” I shouted at Harry.
He looked confused, but I held my ground. I had tears pouring from my eyes, but I didn’t care. He needed to know how much he had hurt me. He stood confused, and didn’t say anything.
“Harry Styles, you answer me now. Why did you kiss me? You kissed me at the golf course, last night before bed, and this morning when we woke up. Is this like some game to you? I honestly believed that you had feeling for me, and it was a lie.” I said.
He stood frozen.
“Answer me! For the love of God Harry, just answer me.” I shouted.
He still said nothing.
“Don’t I at least deserve that much? At least an explanation as to why you kissed me? Did it really mean that little to you? Were you just using me to have a laugh about later?” I said, crying harder.
Harry said nothing. My heart was torn into a million pieces.
“I’m leaving.” I said.
“No.” Harry finally spoke up.
“No what Harry? No what?” I said.
“I don’t want you to leave.” He said.
“Then tell me why you kissed me! Tell me why Niall said you were in love with me! Tell me Harry! Just tell me!” I shouted, letting the tears pour from my eyes.
“Come sit down. Okay?” Harry said.
I complied, and went with him to the couch. He poured me a glass of water.
“Drink this.” He said.
I shook my head.
“You look like you are about to pass out Lana, just drink this.” He said.
I was feeling a little light headed, so I slowly took the glass from him.
“Why can’t you tell me why you kissed me?” I whispered.
“Lana…” Harry said.
“Did it really mean nothing to you?” I said.
“No, it meant more than something to me. I just didn’t think you were into it.” He said.
“Oh come on Harry. If I wasn’t into it, I wouldn’t have let you kiss me this morning, and last night. I would have pulled away at the golf course, I would have said something. You know me Harry.” I said wiping my eyes.
“I just, I didn’t want to ruin things. Things are perfect the way they are. If we start going out, then what if we break up? What if we sleep together while we are dating and then we break up? It will ruin our friendship. It will ruin everything.” Harry said.
“Then you shouldn’t have kissed me and led me on like that, if you were never going to ask me out, or take things out of the friend zone.” I said.
“This is how it’s ruining everything Lana.” Harry said.
“How?” I asked.
“Do you see us? We are fighting. I have known you for like fifteen years, and we have never fought, ever.” Harry said.
“Harry, this fight started over Timmy. It didn’t start over me and you.” I said.
“I know, but it started over jealousy.” Harry said.
“And if we were together, then I would be yours and you would be mine, and nothing would be in the way of that. There would be no reason to be jealous.” I said.
“Lana, I want to be your boyfriend. More than anything in the world. I’m in love with you, but I will not ruin this friendship.” Harry said.
“So what were you planning on? Making out all the time? Just as friends. Expecting nothing more to ever happen. Is that what your idea was? Well I’m sorry Harry but I am not your pet.” I said.
“Alana, please, just calm down, and listen.” Harry said.
“No Harry, just stop.” I said.
“Alana.” Harry said.
“I can’t do this. I just, I don’t know what I expected. I thought you felt the same way about me, but obviously I was wrong.” I said.
“You weren’t wrong Alana. I love you. I really do, please don’t do this.” Harry said.
“Do what? Let my heart break?” I said.
“Alana…” Harry said again.
“Is that all you can say! Alana? Well I’m listening, if you have something to say, say it and stop repeating my name!” I said.
“I’m so sorry.” Harry said.
“Me too,” I replied, “Me too.”
With that, I walked out of the room, and into the bedroom. I laid down on the bed, and closed my eyes. I don’t know how long I laid there. I wasn’t thinking about anything, and I wasn’t crying. I was just emotionless. The hours, ticked by, and I heard Harry pacing in the other room. The door slowly creaked open.
“Lana?” Harry said.
I looked over at him for a split second; his eyes were red and puffy. He had been crying. The worst part was I didn’t care, he had broken my heart.
“What?” I said.
“I’m going out for a drive? Do you need anything?” Harry said.
“No.” I said shaking my head slowly.
“Alright, I’ll be back soon.” Harry said.
“Okay.” I said.
“I love you Alana.” Harry said.
“I’m still mad at you Harry, but I love you too.” I said.
Harry smiled a little, and then he closed the door. He left. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. I woke up to my phone ringing.
“Hello?” I said into it groggily.
“Hello, is this Alana?” someone asked.
“Um, yeah, can I help you?” I said.
“Harry Styles, I assume you are either his wife or girlfriend, he was in a car crash, he is being taken to the hospital now, he told me to call you.” the woman said.
“What!? Is he okay?” I shouted.
“Yes, he will be, but you should get to the hospital.” The lady said.
“Alright, thank you.” I replied hanging up.
My eyes were blurred with tears. I got up quickly, and rushed out of the house. I couldn’t see anything, but I drove straight to the hospital.
When I got there, I rushed to the lady at the front desk.
“I’m looking for Harry Styles.” I cried.
“He isn’t listed in the hospital sorry.” The lady said.
“He went through the ER.” I said.
“Then go to the ER.” She said tartly.
My legs caved in under me.
“Miss? Are you okay?” the lady asked.
“No.” I said.
“I’ll go find him, come with me.” She said.
She grabbed my arm, and led me to the ER.
“Stay here.” The lady said.