(Listen to Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran, while reading this. Enjoy.)
Harry unclasped my bra, and I let it slide out from under my shirt. Harry laid me down, and crawled on top of me. He left sweet wet little kisses all down my neck. He got to the bottom of my shirt, and slowly removed it. Harry threw my shirt to the floor, and crashed his lips onto mine, sending a shiver through my body. His touch felt like a thousand bolts of electricity shooting through my body.
I pulled his face closer to mine, and our kiss deepened. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled up into him, so our bodies were pressed together. He was breathing heavy, and I could feel his heart racing.
I slowed down kissing him, and placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat in my palm.
“See what you do to me?” He muttered onto my lips.
I smiled into the kiss, and rubbed my tongue on his. His mouth was warm, like the inside of a rose. Being with him felt safe. When he touched me, and held me close to him, even if we weren’t having sex, I felt like I was home. His arms were where I belonged.
Harry continued kissing me passionately, as I fondled with his belt. I finally got it undone, and he slid his pants of quickly, not breaking the kiss.
Harry looped his thumbs on the elastic of my pants, and pulled them down slowly, leaving me in my panties.
“No fingering?” Harry asked concernedly.
I shook my head lightly, and he nodded, returning his mouth to mine. He removed his boxers in a swift motion, before slowly lowering my panties.
He kissed my stomach, and my inner thighs, making me want him so much more than I already had.
I had expected Harry to make a comment on how wet I was, but he hadn’t. I think he was nervous about hurting me.
“Harry.” I panted, as he kissed all the right spots on my neck.
“Yes?” he whispered, and continued kissing me.
“If you hurt me, I don’t want you to feel bad.” I said cupping his face in my hands.
“I’m going to feel bad no matter what.” He said gently.
“I want you to do this, so it will be my fault, not yours.” I said softly.
Harry nodded, and straddled my hips. He positioned himself at my entrance and looked down at me lovingly.
“You ready?” He asked.
“I hope.” I whispered.
Harry grabbed my hands, and slid into me nervously. I screamed out in pain, and dug my nails into his hand.
“Alana, I am so sorry.” Harry said, his eyes welling up with tears.
“I’m fine.” I choked out.
Harry shook his head, and began to move slowly.
“No stop!” I screamed covering my face.
Harry pulled out of me quickly, and pulled me into his arms.
“I am so sorry.” He said a few tears sliding down his cheeks.
I nestled my head into his neck.
“Lana, you’re bleeding.” Harry said nervously.
“I know, the doctor said it would happen.” I cried.
Harry scooped me up, and carried me into the bathroom, and placed me on the toilet. He kept me in his arms, and cried into my shoulder.
“We should have waited longer.” He said sadly.
“It would have been the same, only tighter.” I shook my head.
“I should have gone slower.” Harry said.
“Harry I told you, this isn’t your fault.” I said.
“It is though. I’m the one who hurt you to begin with. It’s my fault your even in this situation.” Harry cried.
“Harry, I don’t care. I love being with you, in all ways, and it was an accident. I’m not mad at you for it.” I said rubbing his face.
Harry nodded, and left the bathroom, he came back with panties and a t-shirt. He was already back in his boxers.
He handed me the clothes, and I shook my head.
“I want to finish what we started.” I said.
“No. Alana, I will not look at you in that much pain.” Harry argued.
“Harry please. Now I know what it will feel like so I will know what to expect.” I said.
“No. We can do this some other time.” Harry said.
I stood up, and grabbed the clothes from him. I closed the bathroom door on him, and got myself dressed.
After I got dressed, I walked out of the bathroom, and straight past Harry down the stairs. I went and sat on the couch and turned the T.V. on.
Harry followed me downstairs, and shut the T.V.
“Are you really mad at me for not wanting to hurt you?” Harry asked me sounding hurt.
“It’s not your choice.” I said.
“What do you mean it’s not my choice?” Harry asked.
“I want to be able to have sex with you normally, whenever I want, and I can’t do that until this goes away. You won’t help me fix the pain.” I said.
“I just don’t want to cause you any more pain than I already have.” Harry said more tears spilling from his eyes.
“The only way for me to feel better, is for you to hurt me.” I said.
“Well, I’m not going to do it.” Harry said.
“Fine. Then we won’t ever have sex again.” I said.
“Fine, I don’t need to have sex with you, to be with you.” Harry said.
I shook my head, got up, and left the room.
“Stop walking away from me.” Harry said following me out of the room.
“Stop telling me what to do.” I groaned.
“Why are you so mad at me?” Harry asked.
I spun around to face him, and totally broke down.
“Because Harry! I can’t give you anything. I’m worthless. I can’t please you. My family is a mess. I have mental issues, because I’m a crazy cutter freak. I don’t have a job, so I can’t help with bills. I’m an emotional wreck all the time. I’m picking a fight with you now, because I’m mad at myself for not being able to do the things that normal people in normal relationships can do. I’m not mad at you Harry, I’m mad at me! I hate myself, you deserve so much more than me, so much better than me. You deserve everything that I can’t give you.” I said running into his arms.
Harry held me tightly to him, and I sobbed into him.
“I just want to be happy again Harry.” I cried.
“Shhh…” Harry said rubbing my back slowly.
I cried hardly into his shoulder, and he held me close by the back of my head, and wrapped one arm tightly and lovingly around my waist.
“Whatever you want me to do to make you happy I will. Alana I love you, and I don’t need anyone or anything else. You are perfect, and beautiful. You don’t need to hate yourself. You are worth so much more than that.” Harry whispered lovingly into my ear.
I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, and he held me close by my waist.
“If it means that much to you Alana, we can finish.” Harry said.
“I don’t want you to do it because you’re guilty.” I said shaking my head.
“Lana, I would never feel guilty having sex with you. I just don’t want to see you hurting.” Harry said.
“I already got the initial pain, and blood, so everything will be better now.” I said reassuringly.
“Alana, I will stop whenever you want.” Harry stated again.
“I don’t want you to. No matter what I say, don’t stop. Promise me. No matter how much I cry, or scream or tell you to stop, don’t.” I said.
“I can’t do that.” Harry said.
“Promise me Harry.” I said sternly.
Harry hesitated, but eventually agreed. He picked me up, and carried me back to the bed. We again made out for quite a while, and stripped down to nothing. The whole experience was de ja vu.
Before I knew it, Harry was on top of me. He looked deeply into my eyes.
“Ready?” He asked.
“Don’t stop.” I nodded.
Harry slid into me, and the pain took over. I gripped the bed sheet tightly, and squeezed my eyes shut. I felt Harry’s warm lips on mine, and his cheeks were wet. I knew he felt terrible for hurting me, but he needed to. He kissed me as passionately as he could, trying to distract me from the pain.
After a while, the pain faded a little, and I was ready for more.
“Move.” I whispered on Harry’s lips.
He pulled himself up, and placed his hands on the bed. He began to thrust into me slowly. We held this pace for a while, until I got totally comfortable.
“Faster.” I groaned.
Harry picked up speed, and thrusted into me harder and faster. By now, the pain was completely gone, and my body was writhing in pleasure.
The once silent room, was now full of Harry and my moaning.
“I’m c…c…cumming!” I shouted.
“Hold for one more second.” Harry grunted.
His thrusts became sloppier, and he had lost rhythm.
“Now. Baby, Lana, cum with me.” Harry groaned.
“Oh Harry!” I screamed.
We both came at the same time, and rode out our orgasms. When we finally came down from out highs, Harry pulled out of me, and laid down next to me, wrapping me in his arms.
“I’m glad we did that.” Harry smiled trying to catch his breath.
“Me too.” I agreed.
“You are amazing Alana. I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you.” Harry whispered.
“Talking marriage now are we?” I joked.
“You’re the only one I want to marry.” Harry smiled.
“When it’s time, we will.” I said happily.
“Promise?” Harry asked seriously.
“Promise.” I agreed, taking his pinky finger in mine.
“I will love you forever and a day.” Harry said.
“I will love you forever and two days.” I counter attacked.
“Not this again.” Harry laughed.
I giggled, and buried my face into Harry’s chest. He pulled the blanket over us, and pushed my hair off of my face.
“Sweet dreams angel.” Harry whispered.
“I love you.” I mumbled.
“I love you too.” Harry mumbled.
He rubbed my cheek lightly until I fell asleep, in his warm strong arms.