Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Hey Jude I & II

Find A Way



After finally brushing my teeth, I run downstairs to see this package. There’s a white box on the kitchen table with a floral logo on the corner. The microwave door shuts and dad hands over my favorite mug with hazelnut coffee. Once I open the box and see the familiar bouquet of peach roses, my mom squeals she’s going to get the vase.

Like a child, I burry my face in the fragrant petals and inhale as deeply as I can. The scent is soothing as well as the soft cool touch. I take one stem with me before my mom places the rest in water, gladly allowing her to use them as the table centerpiece.

“There’s a tiny envelope in the box, honey. Must’ve fallen out,” dad says pointing inside.

“Oh. I’m going to read it upstairs,” I smile giddily and twirl the flower between my fingers.

“ Hey Jude, we were planning on catching a movie later if you want to join us?”

“Okay, mom!”

I close the bedroom door and sit in the middle of my bed.

Hey beautiful,
Just sending you some extra love. . .
And I think you should look under your
mattress.
All my love,
Your Harry xx

Biting my lip I’m all of a sudden very excited to find this treasure hidden in my room. I land on my feet too quickly and check my side but find nothing. Sliding my feet around the bed frame, I lift the mattress and find a bigger envelope. Sneaky Harry. I plop on my belly with my feet swinging in the air and carefully open the flap. There’s two folded papers, one looking more torn then the other.

The first has Friday’s date on it, the day before he left, and another message.

Lovely Jude,
Remember when you asked me about the piece of paper back when we were visiting my mum? I was saving it for a special occasion and now is that time. I wrote this song upon the first few days of meeting you. I wanted it to be absolutely perfect before I could play it. Mind the lustful desperation behind it, I was completely infatuated with you. Now, I’m madly obsessed and forever in love. Please let me know when you read it? I’m gutted I won’t be able to see your response.
Yours,
Harry xx


I do remember the wrinkled page, Harry was so secretive about it, and now I’m finally allowed to read it. There’s plenty of chicken scratch and pen markings, but once I begin the first verse, it’s like the path was made clear. Smelling the rose at the same time, I let Harry’s deep voice guide me through the lyrics.

Find A Way

Hold on, what's the rush, what's the rush we're not done are we?
Cause I don't need to change this atmosphere we've made if
You can stay one more hour, can you stay one more hour?

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay

Hold on, I'll be here when it's all done you know
Cause what's the point in chasing if I can't enjoy your face and

We can't be wrong tonight, can we be wrong tonight?

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay
I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

And if I was running, you'd be the one who I would be running to
And if I was crying, you would be lining the cloud that would pull me through
And if I was scared, then I would be glad to tell you and walk away

But I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way in to you

I reread the song till my mind adds on a melody. How is this even possible? How could Harry write a song like this and keep it from me for this long? I’m falling in love all over again, even when I thought I had already drowned in it! I anxiously grab my phone and text Harry three rows of hearts, roses and happy faces.

Sitting in my room, I can’t help think of where and who I was before Harry. Sure, I was happy with how my life was turning out. Happy with my plans. I also thought my trip to London would be the ultimate gift I could ever experience, next to my wedding day if that should ever occur. And it was to an extent, I met Harry there. These are all old recycled thoughts, but it never fails to amaze me how a timidly ambitious girl from Phoenix could feel on top of the world all due to one special boy.





I get a chance to talk to Harry before walking into the theater. He says they’ve recorded two songs for the next album and tonight he’ll be joining his friend for a benefit event. I wish I could be there with him but it’s nice to spend this time with my parents. Although it doesn’t help when he asks if I recall the time he spread the rose petals on his bed before we made love at his place. That was a magical night.

We take our seats but I keep thinking about what Harry’s doing right at this moment. I’m curious to know what he’s wearing, yet I’m bummed that I haven’t had a chance to meet his friend Ed yet, not to mention I’m a fan of his music as well. I can’t fight the temptation to text him, even though its frowned upon after the lights go down.

Can you send me a picture? I want to see you ;) – J <3

After a few minutes, my tiny screen lights up with an attachment. It’s a ridiculous picture of Harry and his ginger date. I cover my mouth to muffle the laughter and shake my head. What a bunch of goobers!

I’ve forgotten the title to this movie or even what its about really. However, a particular scene captures my attention and imagination. There’s a young girl who seems to fancy her best friend’s older brother. We’ve heard, seen and read this scenario way too often, still, my mind entertains the idea with a different cast.

Staring at the screen, little does anyone know, much less my parents, I have my own film playing in my head. I try to imagine Linda 10 years younger, we’re both 16 and getting ready for her birthday slumber party. It’s funny to imagine us actually being the same age and friends in our teen years. I wish that were real. Anyway, I’m setting the table with the party favors. There’s tiaras, makeup and nail polish kits stuffed in clear baggies.

A large metallic balloon floats over the table with the words Sweet Sixteen written across it for the centerpiece. On either side are 3 tiers of assorted cupcakes. Linda announces that she just got off the phone with the pizza place and they should be delivering 3 boxes in the next forty minutes. Now while, the party in itself seems like a young girl’s dream come true, I fast forward to the part where we’re all huddled around the floor watching a movie in the dark.

I wish I had parties like that. I only had a few sleep overs back in junior high, and it was only one girl. I didn’t get invited to the fancy ones, but this isn’t about that, its about my fantasy with Harry. So… ah yes, movie. Soon all the girls are asleep on the couches and in sleeping bags on the floor. I’m half asleep when I hear the main door unlock. Linda’s parents were already asleep upstairs, so I’m unsure who it could be. Although I really know. Hah!

The footsteps are a little clumsy, though I can hear the efforts as he tries to remain quiet. I see his silhouette once a phone screen lights his way. And for the sake of the fantasy, I know that this is Linda’s older brother who was away at college. This would only happen in my imagination as they look nothing alike. Conveniently clever, Jude.

Everyone is heavily sedated so they don’t hear the stranger’s intrusion, meanwhile I make my way to the kitchen to get a drink of water. I grin at the possibilities of turning this Disney movie into a naughty HBO feature, and there’s no one to judge me. So why not?!

I’m suddenly reminded that the bathroom is right by his door, so I casually tip toe across the room and into the hallway. Unfortunately his door is closed but I can see there’s a light on. I use the bathroom anyway to avoid getting caught without a plan of action. What do I say? Do I say anything? Should I be bold in my fantasy or be my timid self and let him do all the work. I like that one.

I open the bathroom door and surprise surprise, his door is open as well. I see him sitting on the bed and turning to see who’s in the hallway. I pretend to not see him when I hear a soft hello. I immediately think about what I’m wearing. Should I have a sexy or innocent pajama set on. Hmmm… I’ll stick with the long soft baby blue pants and a baby tee… without a bra.

“Hi,” I reply and kind of peek inside.

“What are you doin’ up?” he asks, standing from the bed looking ever so tall and dashing with those careless curls.

“I had to use the bathroom. You’re Harry, right?” As if I didn’t know.

“Yeah, I got back early. They were expectin’ me tomorrow but I wanted to surprise Linda for her birthday.”

“Oh that’s sweet of you,” I smile and take another step inside, leaning on the door frame.

“Do you want to come in? I can use the company.”

“Are you sure? You must be exhausted.”

“I’m tired but it takes me a while to unwind, unless you wanted to go back to sleep. If so, I won’t keep you.”

I imagine my 16 year old self explode with joy inside while I casually tuck my hair behind my ears and begin to walk slowly. Harry points to his bed and starts to put away his clothes from his duffle bag.

“How was the party?” I emphasize his English accent now.

“We had a blast! I’m still stuffed from all the pizza and cupcakes.” That sounds exactly like something I would say.

“You mean you didn’t save me any?”

“No, there’s plenty left. Would you like one?”

“I’m just teasin’. I can get one later.”

“No, I can bring you one now. It’s no problem.”

In a matter of half a second, I’m back with the treat and I happily hand it to the green eyed heart throb. His grin is so smooth and pleasing, I wish I could actually live out this movie. I take an actual gulp from my soda and pop in a few more M&Ms before I return to Harry taking a lick of the chocolate frosting. I know I’m gazing at him hard and on purpose. It’s fun to not feel embarrassed for being caught. Lord knows this would play out so differently in real life because I would surely make it awkward right off the bat.

“This chocolate one is good.”

“Is it? I didn’t have that one, I ate the vanilla and strawberry ones.”

“What’s your name?”

“Jude.”

“You mean to tell me, Jude, that you don’t like chocolate?” His eyes narrow in on me.

“It’s not my favorite.”

With that, Harry comes closer and holds the cupcake inches away from my mouth.

“Taste it.”

“I’m really stuffed.”

He raises his brows and lowers his head, insisting that I do what he says. I’m about to take a bite when he pulls it away.

“Ah ah! Don’t bite it.”

I’m confused. Not really. He brings the cupcake to my lips and I take a small lick as I play with the frosting on the tip of my tongue. I nod so he will leave me alone but then he takes a bite from it and never breaks eye contact. When he’s done, he sucks on his thumb and the cruelly breaks his gaze to turn around. Yup, that sounds like Harry.

“Do you know how old I am?”

“No, just that you’re in college.”

“I’m 20. You’re still a virgin, right?”

“Yes!” I gulp.

“Good.”

I technically didn’t have my first kiss till I was 17. Yup, that was actually the real me in the fantasy. In fact, why not share that information.

“I’ve never even kissed a boy, yet.”

“No?” Harry looks at me up and down, drawing his own conclusions. “That’s a shame.”

“Why?”

“If I was 16, I would’ve changed that.”

“Even though you’re Linda’s brother?”

“Why would that stop me?”

“I don’t know,” I shrug. “Why would not being 16 stop you?”

“Because. . . well I guess, if it’s only a kiss, it wouldn’t be illegal,” he looks so deep in thought. “Why, would you like me to kiss you?”

“No, I didn’t say that. I was just wondering if only the age thing would stop you.”

“So you don’t want me to kiss you?”

“No! I mean, yes! Wait, I’m confused now.” I like pretending to be dumb.

“If you want your first kiss, now’s your chance. It will be our secret,” he persuades and sits beside me.
I could make it happen right now, but I have to add some more drama seeing as how I’m stuck in this theater for another hour. I’ll pull the Jude card.

“I should go to bed now,” I jump to my feet and exit the room.

Imagining myself laying back down in my sleeping bag in the dark room full of snoring girls, I know I would never get that far or have that opportunity. What would be my next move if this were really happening? I would do what I did in London. I would take the chance and feel alive.

I tiptoe march back to Harry’s room and knock on the door quietly. This time, a shirtless college hottie opens the door and grins that sexy grin of his. He extends his arm for me to come in and I go and sit on his bed again. Shifting in my theater seat, I prepare for the R rated scene, holding my soda to keep me cool.

“This will be our secret, okay?”

I nod and can’t help notice how remarkably low his sweat pants are.

“Lay back.”

I fall back with my legs dangling off the bed and see his body descend over me. Kneeling, he scoops my waist in his arm and gently pushes me further up on the bed. One by one, his knees part my legs resting in between them.

“Don’t be nervous I’m only going to kiss you. Nothing more.”

I nod again, but then he I feel him press his hips on to mine, because I know how heavenly that really feels. And once my mouth parts from the impact, Harry latches on to my bottom lip, biting it between his teeth. Then he delivers that sinful kiss that makes me want to press my hips against him even harder. I never said this fantasy would end with just a kiss.

Before I know it the credits are rolling up the screen and the lights turn back on. I shake my head, fearing others might see my thoughts, but that’s just plain silly.

“Good movie, right?” Mom asks me.

I simply nod and smile.

Notes

A/N: Chapter Playlist

Find A Way- SafetySuit

Photograph- Ed Sheeran


Hey dolls, I insist that you find and listen to the song "Find A Way" the songwriter did an amazing job and I can't help swoon imagining that Harry wrote it for Jude. Tell me what you think if you give it a listen. ;)

Comments

85............why am i commenting on dirty things!

harrysbutthole harrysbutthole
6/15/16

48 Is really kinky......but im still readidng it

harrysbutthole harrysbutthole
6/15/16

ok so chapter 35 tells me how to cup nuts...ok

harrysbutthole harrysbutthole
6/14/16

woow not even half of the book and there already fucking!! chapter 6 and 5 are the reason i don't have a boyfriend :(

harrysbutthole harrysbutthole
6/14/16

Hey! Could you please answer me on Whattpad? I would be so honored to translate your amazing fanfiction into Russian.

SonyaDr SonyaDr
5/3/16