A/N: Chapter Playlist

"Say Something" -A Great Big World, Christina Aguilera

"Maps" -Yeah Yeah Yeahs

"Cosmic Love" -Florence and The Machine

---

My eyes bounce off each passing street light, looking past my reflection on the window and into the darkness before the dawn. I bid Phoenix goodbye, again, as I meditate on the two people that represent both my past and future. Struggling to figure out this puzzle with two pieces that are supposed to fit together but don't. A daughter and a lover. . .I was never taught how to make them coexist.

Its too early for conversation, so I dwell in the silence and vibration of the car. Occasionally glancing at my mother in the driver's seat; there's something different between us, a division forming. She's been my everything: my shoulder, my ear, my voice and source of comfort. Now all those things were gravitating towards someone new, not breaking our bond but making it weaker. It's a hard realization that I've grown up.

Lover. For not being my first, Harry sure feels like it. Ethan gave me the raw experience but with Harry its true intimacy. This only confirms what I had before was clearly a misinterpretation and false illusion of love. What I feel now is cosmic, inexplicable, and yet where my words fail to express my body doesn't. My body loves in a way my mind is barely learning.

I feel alive, protected and desired when I'm around Harry, to list a a few. It wasn't till recently, when I finally accepted that he's the one I'd pour myself into. To love blindly, madly and sincerely; believing he'd do the same.

My mom aligns the car and we quickly unload our luggage from the back. Its time to say goodbye. Harry swoops in and surprises her with a hug and waits aside. This should be quick, like I'll-see-you-soon quick, but it isn't. I smile at this amazing woman who's birthed me and invested almost 22 years of her life into the lady that I am. Her gaze hits me in the heart, as though she were not saying goodbye to me but to the little girl she no longer sees.

"Have fun and be safe," she says, eyes getting glossier.

"I will. I'll call you later today."

"It's okay, a text will do. I know you're in good hands . . .but please, be SAFE."

I gather the safety she's referring to doesn't apply to my well-being but the responsibility that comes in a relationship. In other words, she knows. This would normally proceed with an hour of awkward questions and pep talks however, we've run out of time. Throwing my arms around my mother, I remind her how much I love her and wave one last time before walking inside.

"Are you aright?" Harry asks apprehensively.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I wipe my cheek and take my small bags from him. "Just having a mother-daughter moment."

"Those are good moments."

Harry checks in our heavier luggage at the counter. I vaguely hear him talking, for my mind is still numb from overthinking. His fingers lace with mine as he thanks the agent. Left with a camel carry on bag and a jacket, Harry looks very casual in his classic Chucks, jeans and white shirt.

My hair's a stringy mess, though it may be mistaken for purposed waves, matching Harry's mop top. Strolling in my comfy jeans and tweed flats, I realize a little late that my coral sweater is a bit bright for 4:30 AM. We soon stop for some hot drinks after the security procedure, this time quicker than the last. It's obvious that airports never sleep, yet its nice to breeze through without worrying about the people around us.

Sitting in the waiting area, Harry lays his head on my lap and closes his eyes. This triggers memories of my first night in his flat. Its impossible to keep from smiling while I rub his back and sip on my coffee, enamored by this handsome view. The first boarding call not only wakes the sleepy boy but snaps me back to reality. Wait, I've never been to L.A.!

I like that our seats are in the coach section, still I witness gaping mouths and discreet murmurs. Luckily the flight isn't very full and everyone's more preoccupied with stowing away their bags and being seated. I know how famous Harry is, and I try to see pass it, but I'm bluntly reminded by people's reaction towards him wherever we go.

There are few overhead lights scattered about the cabin, most passengers are fast asleep, including Harry. I wish I could join them but my brain won't stop. Then when I finally lean my head against the cold window to force my eyes shut, a slight case of turbulence distracts me. Straining harder to keep my lids sealed, I feel a warm hand cover mine, easing my tension.

I peek over at Harry who looks wide awake with an adorable dimple. His eyes are my green focal points. Leaning forward, he gives me a gentle kiss while I hear and feel him undo my seat belt. The buckles fall at my sides and he pulls away, all the way to the aisle seat. Before my mouth turns into a frown, Harry pats his thigh. Eyes close the minute my head hits his lap and his fingers run through my hair. The last thing I remember is him placing his jacket as a pillow beneath me.

The sudden impact from the landing sends me straight up in my seat. I rub my face to awaken out of this drowsiness and prepare to gather my things. Minutes later, we make it through the jetway and we're greeted by a familiar face. Calvin awaits and takes us straight to an electric cart. I've never ridden one before, this should be fun.

LAX is madness, this might as well be a city within a city. After going through all kinds of security, we wait in an office for our luggage to be retrieved. This is the other side of the spectrum for me. All of it is and what's left to embark.

"Remember when I said it gets pretty crazy in the U.S.A? Brace yourself."

I nod, reading his tone full of warning. How the news travels, I'll never know . . .scratch that, I do. Social media is not to be underestimated but dealt with accordingly. I see a narrow tunnel of fans on either side. Harry boomerangs his brows at whats up ahead. One of the guards behind us says there's too many to stop.

They scream Harry's name, fighting to get but one glance from him. What's even more shocking is the moment I hear my name being called by several girls, not just once but repeatedly. I want to stop to say hello but all I can do is smile and wave at them, feeling so unworthy of this attention. Harry's hand remains on my back leading from behind; this is quite the scary runway.

Its not the fans that I worry about but the sharks with the cameras. They are shoving and bumping their cameras on these young girl's heads, just to get a selfish shot. It's inevitable to hide your face from the constant flashes, still seeing spots minutes later.

We seek shelter in a black SUV, with Calvin in the passenger seat next to the driver. My adrenaline is still going but I know it will be followed with a crash. I can still hear the echo of the screaming fans in my head, along with their desperate attempts to touch Harry or get a good picture. He tried to wave and reach his hand out a few times at least. I dread ever seeing those sharks again and yet my inner voice tells me this is only the beginning.

---

Arriving at a breathtaking building of many stories in the heart of Downtown L.A., this place appears way different then how the movies portray it. Our building looks brand new, even the lobby holds that fresh scent of new furniture and spotless carpets. The first thing I smell are the floral arrangements at the ends of the check-in counter. As usual, everyone is overly nice to Harry and then they look at me dumbfounded. Probably wondering who the heck am I.

"Wait till you see this place!" Harry is very excited.

"I see it . . .its ridiculous!"

"They have everything here! Louis and Eleanor are staying on the 33rd floor, we're just one above them. But you'll see why I chose this place for us. . ."

"For us?" I raise my brows in suspense.

Harry nods and wraps his hand around my waist as we drag our luggages towards the elevator. He swipes a special key to access the 34th floor. That's pretty high if you ask me, that's like New York City high, not that I've ever been there. Still in shock, I take slothful steps once the doors slide open. This luxury suite is a dream. How can he come in like nothing, so numb to this lifestyle.

I walk into this vast space split in two by a simple column, separating the bedroom and the den. There's practically no walls but countless corner to corner windows, allowing the overpowering daylight to shine through. A long beige couch faces the a wall with a mounted flatscreen while on the opposite side of the room sits the enormous bed. There's black hardwood flooring while the kitchen cabinets are white with steel appliances. What more could there be?

I spoke too soon. Exploring down the hallway, I stumble into the bathroom which is half the size of the bedroom. Beautiful tan marbled counters and tiles with a huge glass door shower stall for two. Holy crap!

"How long are you renting this place for?" I yell from the bathroom.

"What's that, love?" He skips towards me as I'm walking back out.

"How long are you staying in this place?"

"A week. Its quite nice, huh? Do you like it?"

"It's amazing! I might have to stay longer."

"That was the plan. . .Listen, Cal's downstairs with the car, what would you like to do? Do you want to come with me or kick back here?"

"Would you be bothered if I stayed?"

"Of course not! I'd rather you caught up on rest. You can explore the buildin' and pool if you'd like. Oh and we have a dinner party around seven tonight, so be mindful of that. . . Umm . . . there are plenty of places to shop round here and such. Just let me know before you go."

"Roger!" Oops! I meant that as an affirmative towards his orders.

"Roger?!" Harry scowls unexpectedly.

"Wait, that's not what I meant! I meant to say it like yes sir!"

Grinning and shaking his head, not sure if I convinced him, he grabs my chin to pull me closer.

"No more talk of Roger here."

Nodding before he even finishes, I fall into Harry's trap as he teases me with his strawberry lips.

"You still owe me one," he whispers over my mouth, kissing my forehead instead. I'm noticing the pattern.

---

I like Harry's place in London, but this is something I can see myself in. Just for the fun of it, I sit on the suede couch and bounce up and down. Enjoying the softness as my hands swim over the cushion. Not a moment later, I'm skipping towards the window to capture this insane view. I can only imagine how stunning the city looks at night, though right now, the smog isn't too appealing.

I take a deep breath and think of my next task. Unpack. But before I do, music is a must. Folding my clothes into the bottom two drawers of this temporary dresser, I decide to put Harry's things away also, making sure to hang the dressier outfits. I love this. Smelling his clothes and recognizing his musk right away. I'm living a fairy tale.

In need of some anchoring, I take out my laptop to work on my next paper for a while. I do pretty well for the first half hour with my imaginary blinders on, finding it more tasking to ignore the windows. I'm in L.A.! I should be exploring the streets not this building, or doing this paper. I'm done and I'm hungry.

Grabbing my purse and spare key Harry left on the kitchen counter for me, I'm out. Using my phone to track down the nearest restaurant, I opt for a quicker meal to go. It's a good thing I fueled up, spending the next three hours walking and window shopping. Harry mentioned a dinner party but didn't specify if it was a dressy one or not. Knowing me and how I like to be prepared, I thought I might as well buy something suitable for tonight.

Checking the tweet feed on my stroll back, I nearly topple over my own feet at the increasing number of followers still. My first reaction is to ignore all the fake comments but there are some that seem genuine and . . .nice. . .I wonder. As chance would have it, there's a bench a few feet ahead with my name on it. I park it and begin to read the tweets I'm tagged in.

It only takes a minute before I'm laughing to myself and replying back. It so happens, some of the girls that tagged me were at the airport this morning. This was my chance to say hello. One of them even had a picture of me waving at her. I wish I could remember her face but I was probably dodging the lunatics hogging for attention.

This is pretty emotional for me. In college, everyone's doing their own thing, including me. Having many acquaintances and few close friends; its no one's fault that life gets busy and we fail to keep in touch. And here I have complete strangers telling me that I'm pretty. One girl says she too has freckles and loves them. Another girl likes my style, even though I'm still figuring that out, now wanting to add edgier pieces no thanks to Lou.

Before I know it, I'm following over twenty-five girls back. There are two that have been messaging me non stop, asking questions about my life and not my relationship with Harry. Its a relief since they know we're together and yet they actually respect my privacy.

A few hours later, I'm in the bathroom in my strapless bra and panties, finishing my makeup. Keeping it somewhat natural with a splash of ruby lips, and my hair pulled back in a sleek low bun; no fringe tonight. Harry had text me that he was on his way back and just as I'm about to check on the time, I hear the clacking of his boots down the hall.

"Babe?"

"Yeeeaaah" I can barely shout while brushing my mascara.

"Oh good you're gettin' ready. I'm just gonna hop in the shower. . ."

Harry walks in only wearing his boxers and I smile because he doesn't see me at first. Heading for the shower, he takes a last minute look at my half nakedness and his eyes widen. Detouring my way, he grabs my face and is just about to kiss me when I pull back.

"Red lipstick!"

"Ughhh! You can't do thaaat!" Harry slumps and gives me a quick peck on the neck.

"You have to shower remember?"

He about faces to go turn on the water and narrows his eyes at me while peeling off his underwear. Its been some time since I've seen him unclothed, making me blush too easily. Finally, he gets in and begins to ask about my day, carrying a conversation over the running water.

Harry goes on to tell me that tonight's dinner is an actual launch party for their new line of Vans sneakers, called 1DStreetz. First inspired by Zayn's graffiti sketches, each band member went on to design their own shoe. Now I'm curious to see each pair. Maybe I'll get one for myself.

I squeeze into the strapless black top, which feels more like a corset and is just as uncomfortable, then finish zipping up my skirt. Slipping into my beige open toe heels, I hear a gasp nearby.

"Woah! This changes things a bit," I turn to see Harry in nothing but a towel and sneaky grin.
"You look stunnin' but I can't decide between this or the bathroom preview."

"You can have both. . .just not right now."

I take pleasure in displaying a cocky smile as I don't get to do it often. Already feeling like that girl Harry met in London, its amazing the transformation when my parents aren't around. Especially when all I see are his back muscles as he searches for a shirt in the wardrobe.

He thinks I look stunning? When I catch a glimpse of him in a button shirt and dark jacket, I'm already feeling a wobble in my step. Then I look down at his skin tight pants and white Vans, stupefied by how he pulls it off so well.

---

The location is up hill somewhere, I don't know. Some of these streets are too cluttered with businesses and shops, its hard to see each sign when we drive by. Harry's phone is constantly lighting up with texts and he answers them diligently.

The driver pulls up to a fanciful restaurant, with its elegant architecture and exotic plants. I'm baffled by some of the people walking in. The ladies are in skimpy dresses while the guys have more of a laid back skater or hip hopper style.

There's a DJ stationed a couple of feet away from the bar and instead of actual chairs there are curved sectionals, like half moon crescents, around the tables. There are several shoe displays throughout the room, some functioning as table centerpieces. There's so much going on and while I should be drawn to this festive atmosphere I still find it overwhelming. Seeing photographers roam around the floor, my nerves are at ease as they are nothing like the other pests.

The night is seemingly wonderful. The rest of the band mates are here having a good time with their friends and girlfriends. It's a strange feeling to be a part of this group. I can't help notice connecting more with Perrie than the other girls. Eleanor is friendly but quiet and Sophia . . . I guess the same but even more distant.

Harry and I walk around with drinks. The stares becoming less the more people introduce themselves and actually take the time to talk to me. So far, all good reactions and chit chats. I'll never confess how nervous I am to be accepted as Harry's girlfriend, hearing so much junk already, it can really do a number to your self esteem if you let it.

One of the photographers stops in front of us to take our picture. The huge lens makes me anxious but I smile the instant I feel Harry's hand on my back. After a few flashes he makes small talk about how he's going to buy two pairs of their shoes, Harry's and Liam's.

"Just get them all, mate. Then give 'em away as gifts," Harry nods cleverly and the photographer laughs.

"Hah, I will! So. . .it's official, you're a couple?"

"As official as I am officially part of this band."

Harry's response gives me goosebumps. It wasn't a Grammy award winning speech, but in his oddball way, it means the world to me. Pulling me closer and planting a kiss on my temple, I'm redder than my ruby lipstick, I'm sure of it.

"Well, you guys make a hot couple! One more picture?"

Flash.

Notes

Well Well ... quite the exciting weekend we have up ahead ladies! I can't even begin to mentally prepare for it.

Anyway, as you've probably noticed, this is a two part chapter. I always want to challenge myself and make longer chapters for you but then it takes forever to finally post, so I end up splitting it and hopefully pleasing you in the process.

Again, a million times thank you for the awesome comments and for voting. I appreciate it like no other reward. :) Let me know how you find this chapter and please feel free to write any dislikes as well. I'm a big girl, I can take it ;)

I also want to thank you for your patience with my updates, its quite the task to proof read after many hours of writing and plotting . . . I'll do my best to update every 3 days though. Muah!

Cheers!