"Har-ry?" I sit up to turn on the lamp.

"Shhhhh . . ." I'm relieved its him.

"Harry how-"

"Go back to sleep. We'll talk in the morning . . . I promise," his thick voice slurs.

Harry continues to undress himself, his balance is quite off. He points and waves his index finger at the light and I immediately turn it off. The mattress rocks as he climbs in beside me, yet I instantly smell the liquor from his breath. I don't know how he opened my door or why he was even here in the first place, but I can't deny how happy I am that he's here with me now.

"Harry?" I whisper.

"Tomorrow," he growls.

My back is facing him and I try to give him space but I feel him search for my warmth. He's here now and I don't want to wait till the hurt is completely gone before I can touch him. Rolling over, I'm face to face with this sleeping beauty. My eyes have adapted to the darkness as I admire him and how peaceful he looks. I delicately brush my fingertips over his hairline and down his cheek, gazing happily at the subtle curve on the corner of his lips.

As much as I want to look at him, it still hurts a little to know life is going to continue from this moment on. I'm leaving in two days and this will all be gone. I don't know what's worse, to continue living this dream or stopping it all together. A tear slides down the corner of my eye and lands on my pillow, I don't want Harry to see me like this even if he's asleep.

I turn over again and let the feelings go. Even with my eyes closed the streams continue. Theres a sudden shake on the bed when I feel Harry's body pressing up against my back, followed by his needy arm gliding over my waist. There's no hesitation in grabbing his hand and bringing it up to my chest, demanding every gap between us to disappear.

---

I wake up to a buzzing sound. Reaching over the nightstand to check my phone, I read a text from Jack asking if I'm doing okay. I never got a hold of him and I wonder if I answer this one now will it bring up a whole series of texts I'm just not ready for. Ignoring him once again, I'm startled by Harry's cough. I look over slowly and see Harry is awake and staring at the ceiling.

"I missed you," his voice sounds extremely raspy and worn. "I missed your smile . . . I missed your dark eyes . . . your skin. I missed everything about you. . .I wanted to make it easier, make it all go away. Thinking I could erase you with each drink, but it just made me feel worse," he looks back at me.

His eyes are fragile and lost, the brightest shade of green with a tiny black dot at the center. Light beams through the crack of my curtain windows, falling right across his face, but he doesn't squint or move. Shifting my body to face him, my arm tucks beneath my head on the pillow while I'm silently grouping my thoughts together.

"I'm sorry, Jude."

I forgive him as I reach over to tuck a wild curl behind his ear and smile. Then I search for his hand and he immediately knits our fingers together. We both stare and are speechless but I don't know if there is really much to say, it won't stop the inevitable.

"How did you get in?" I smile, attempting to lighten the mood.,

"I told you, I can be very persuasive," he grins and I chuckle quietly. "I can't do long distance, Jude. I don't know how."

"I've never done it either. I can't imagine how hard it is with a normal person."

"We are starting our stadium tour next month . . . and we already have all this stuff lined up till then."

"Harry, its ok. You don't have to justify or explain anything."

"But I want you to understand. All that stuff puts a lot of strain, I see it with the lads and I hate it. I hate seeing them miss their girls."

"I don't know how we got here. What happened to the girlfriend for one night deal?" I smile nervously.

"I wanted to spend time with you . . . I didn't think you'd be leaving so soon."

"I was leaving sooner or later, Harry. You should have just ended it last night. Why did you come here?" I sit up, getting a bit frustrated. "Now I have to start all over again."

I feel so stupid for getting emotional after I had come up with a plan for today, until Harry crashes it. I could have endured my last days with the healing treasures of this city, but now he is here, admiring my bruised insides. I feel him move, sitting beside me while holding my hand.

"I can't help how I feel about you. I don't want you to go."

"Even if the distance wasn't an issue, I could never have a normal relationship with you, Harry. I can't even hold your hand in public . . . and even if I were to stay longer, what, would you keep me locked away at your place?"

Harry is hurt by my words, only because I fear its the truth. We didn't necessarily start things the old fashioned way. Friends by day and lovers by night. I can't handle that.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, fingers fidgeting with his lip.

"No . . . I just hate not knowing what to do."

I also hate the fact that he didn't argue any of my points, proving that I would be stowed away at his place for late night entertainment. Now I'm just getting angry and resentful. I know of plenty of celebs that go around with their dates, unashamed.

"Maybe you should go, Harry."

I feel the palm of his hand reach for my cheek and of course I welcome it. I shouldn't. I should seal the deal and let him walk but the way he's looking at me makes me hopeful. He leans closer to steal a kiss, instantly numbing my mind to any reason or logic. This is not a good idea.

Harry swings his other arm around my waist to pull me towards him, I happily assist. My hands bravely cling to his chest and caress his broad shoulders. Somehow we are rolling on to his back and I'm sitting up straddling him. All he is wearing is black boxer-briefs, matching my silky nightie his hands can't keep away from. He pushes my hair over my shoulder and grabs my neck to pull me down. My face is barely an inch away until he pushes his head off the pillow.

The heat that our bodies create, inexplainable. His large hand is wrapped around my cheek, thumb stroking my face. His other hand is on my back, scrunching up the soft material, eventually digging its way to my bare skin. His excitement is evident as it presses against me. My arms begin to wobble but I lock my elbows up for support.

Harry takes advantage of my position and pulls down my slip to fall hurdled around my waist. Luckily my hair is already covering my chest. He grins even more at my mermaid complex and pushes my hair to the side. His hands cup my breast and gently squeeze, I moan and press my lips together He can't have me. He shouldn't.

I fight that he shouldn't have me but my hips betray me, they begin to push against him and slowly rock, tingly sensations shoot from my groin. I hate how much I want him. Although he can't have me, I decide I want to gain from this. Remembering how much pleasure I got from him simply rubbing against me, I want that dry sex, on my terms.

I kneel and reach under my modified skirt, slipping my underwear off, passing it through one leg at a time. When I sit back down on his groin, Harry moans and his length is already stiffening in a matter of seconds. As I grind my hips on him, bucking towards the very end of each stride, he continues to grunt aloud.

Our breaths match as we gasp with every surge. I use him, just like he used me, but my heart disagrees. My heart feels something more and reprimands me for my selfish thoughts. Harry's hands are on my hips, guiding my rhythm and I just close my eyes. I enjoy his stimulation and his coos and groans. In control of our movements, I speed up get the satisfaction I long for; my body aches for.

With one final gasp, I whimper aloud and attempt to slow down but Harry's grip prevents me, taking over with several hip thrusts of his own. My body shivers from the deliverance, hands pressed upon his stomach. I don't want to hand over my power just yet, knowing Harry, he's about to come soon. I begin to move my hips in circles, focusing in on his face and his reactions.

His bottom lip slides between his teeth, eyes shut tight. I want him in a way I haven't before. And with this spontaneous courage I dismount and begin to pull at his underwear. Harry lifts his eyes in shock and confusion. I'm determined and make as little eye contact as possible. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and want to avoid judging eyes.

As the the black material falls from his feet, I kneel at his side and caress his thighs. The further up my hand goes the lower I bend over, until my hand and mouth meet over his crotch. I grab his tip, lick my lips and kiss him slowly. I gently cover him with my mouth and let my tongue do the caressing. I feel his fingers brush through my hair as he hisses and moans, another cuss escaping his lips.

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, so I just focus on how much I want to pleasure him and listen intently. His other hand shows me what to do, he places it over my mine and we begin to stroke the rest of his length. He keeps his hand on my cheek and I melt at his touch.

"Oh, Jude," he whispers. "You. . . you don't have to DO this," he finishes with a grunt.

I can't quit, I know I'm close. I suck on him a little faster, my hand moves at the same pace, but his hand gently pushes my cheek off. We stroke him together and Harry jerks up with thundering groans, abs hard as a board and mouth parted. His beautiful eyes are fluttering and his biceps are flexed while he finishes the job. He throws himself back and I'm left to admire the mess we made.

I did that. I smile proudly. I exhausted Harry before he could even get out of bed . . . my bed. I felt a new sense of strength and then I knew. The time we had left should be cherished and not spent on stupid woes and gripes. I crawl up to meet his gaze and he has a childish grin on his face.

"Woah," he smiles bright.

"I should kick you out for trespassing,"

"But . . . you're not going to," he answers with a smug grin.

I nod and he grabs my face with his long fingers digging in my hair. He brings our lips together and kisses me slowly. I feel his hand roam to the back of my head and the other press on my back.

"Stay with me," he whispers.

My head rests on his chest and I crumble at the loving strokes across my back and arms. I bathe in his scent and the steady drum of his heart beat. Who can predict what will happen when we get up from this bed, but all I know is that fear can't hinder whatever it is that we have.