"What can I get you sir?" I asked the man that had just walked into the cafe. "Tea" he said in a deep and unfriendly voice. I kept a smile on my face. "Anything else?" I asked him.he did not answer me. I nodded and walked away with his order.I disliked customers that were rude.but I always kept a smile on my face because sometimes some of them lightened up and said my smile was contagious.some of them would later apologize for their previous behaviour and say they were having a rough day or week or whatever but some of them where just angry people.oh and when you served them well they gave good tips. My life ever since I left london had changed....for the worst I think. When I was driven away from harrys house I went over to caroline's.she was more than glad to let me stay for the night. I tried calling harry about 15 times but he never answered.it didn't take me long to realise that it was the end.caroline sympathized with me .she even drove me to the airport the next day but I didn't completly open up to her.maybe she knew all along that harry and I wouldn't last long.maybe deep down she was happy it was over...I don't know.all I know is life must go on. The first thing I did when I landed was go to paige's house.I was greeted by police cars and ambulances.I didn't bother to find out why.probably nothing serious,I thought.I slowly started to worry as I went closer but I saw aunty marge leaning against one of the police cars.she had a bottle of vodka in her hand. My anger had vanished for a short while but soon returned with full force. "Where the fuck is that bitch?" I asked marge through clenched teeth. "Where marge!" I shouted. She pointed towards an ambulance. "In there" she said and I hurried to the ambulance.paige was lying on a stretcher. "How could you paige?!" I screamed at her."I trusted you!I know I hurt you but that was no way to take your revenge!answer me damn it! Are you deaf huh!" I shouted. But she never answered me. "Do you know her?" The paramedic in the van asked me. "Yes..she is my best..well I thought she was my bestfriend.why?what's wrong with her? I asked irritated that he was interupting me. "Oh,I'll just be outside" he said and stepped out of the van. " Why paige?" I asked walking towards where her head was.maybe if I calmed down we could talk. "why the fuck would you -" I froze as I reached near her head. "Paige" I whispered. My heart started to race . "P-paige?" I asked again as my eyes started to burn and tears started running down my cheeks. "NO.NO NO..this can't be." I said trying to control myself. "Paige I'm sorry!!paige I'm not angry anymore I swear!! Paige! Paige!" I begun to scream/cry. "Paige let's go!get up let's go watch a movie or go to a goth convension whatever you want" I said shaking her wildly. I removed the white linen that was over her face and screamed in horror.I tried to cover my mouth but my hands where shaking madly.just then I felt arms on my shoulders. "Sarah,its ok relax." Marge said. "Bu-it-her-paige-gone" I stuggled to speak as I stared wide eyed at my friends pale face.paige was dead. I broke down as reality hit me.I forgot all about the reason I had come here in the first place.I didn't care that she told niall.all I wanted was paige back. "Police say she died two days ago.I found her this morning." Marge said leading my zombie like body out of the van. "How" I managed to say. "Suicide" marge replied. I didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out.she killed herself after talking to niall. "Police are still trying to-" marge said before I cut her. "Bye marge" I said as I stumbled away.one of the policemen was asked to take me home as I was not thinking straight. it took me about 2 days to come to terms with what has happened.at that point I felt like I had used up all my tears.but my heart still ached when I thought about her.I did not attend her funeral because I felt that it was all my fault.if I never left in the first place...none of this would have happened. "Mom..what would you do if I got pregnant?" I asked her 4 days later. "WHAT!" She shouted. "No I'm not knocked up.I was just curious to know.." I said. "I would give you two choices.abortion or adoption." She said.and that was all I needed.I told her later that night that I would be visiting paige's extended family in atlanta georgia.and I was gone.I swore to myself that I would not return home until I had given birth and found a way to support my child.harrys child. ********************************************** "But how are you so sure its harrys kid?what about niall?" Jay asked me.jay was a 21 year old indian guy I had met just two weeks after I arrived in antlanta.our connection was instant.he met me at a subway station that he uses frequently and he noticed that everytime he passed by I was in the same position.he asked me if I needed help but I declined.I wasn't about to start sleeping around for money if that's what he thought.I had no money on me at the time.I had just been robbed and knew no one in this part of the country. I came in hope of staying with my cousin jessica but an old neighbour told me jess and her family had moved away long ago.we wernt exactly a tight knit family but jess and I always got along.though we didn't keep in touch.I found myself sleeping in public toilets at the underground subway station.and I ate food that people had failed to finish and left on benches.little did I know that one night jay had been watching me.and the next day he came to me and said in a commanding voice "get up and come with me" I refused to follow him and he said. "I know you don't have a place to say or food to eat so stop being such a brat and come with me." Again I said no.what if he was a pimp? I thought to myself. "I'm asking you for the last time.come with me.I can help.I'm not rich,but I know that the little that I can do will be better than this.besides do you want your baby to keep eating leftovers?" I looked at him shocked.my bump was barely visible.how did he know. "I see the way you look at your tummy and rub it.do you want to give your baby a shot at a good life or what?" He asked. And that was all the convincing I needed.he lived in a very small apartment but I loved it.he also helped find me a job at the cafe that his uncle owned.his family were very welcoming .me and him were inseperable ever since.it was too soon but we loved eachother and nothing and no one would change that.not even a hurricane..or harry.nothing.everyone knew that if they were looking for for jay,all they had to do was find me and vise versa.he worked at the same cafe though he was more on the arts department.he was a good painter and an avarage singer but he was an amaizing instrumentalist and when he sang and played one of the many instruments he could play,it turned into a live concert.he made a lot of money from his paintings and music and if it wasn't for me he would be living a pretty comfortable life.but ever since me the bills and groceries have doubled and he tries to get me as many clothes as he can when he gets money and on top of that he is saving for the baby.without jay....I don't even want to think of life without him. "Hello!earth to sarah" he said snapping his fingers. "Oh ahmmm it can't be nialls.we only had sex once and he wore a condom.but harry and I it was a couple of times and I think he only wore it once." I told him. "You should contact him" jay said.and I gave him the are you outta your mind stare. "Don't look at me like that.think about it sarah.I know I said I will be the father to your kids and I intend on keeping that promise and from what you have told me I really don't like harry.but just because he doesn't want you doesn't mean he won't want his kid.you never know until you try.and sarah we both know that we can't be able to give the baby the kind of luxary we would want for it.its unborn,but we both love and want the best for it.and at this point you really do need help..especially when the baby comes.we won't be able to afford it I mean we can probably afford it for a while but think about how much school would cost and birthday presents and christmas presents.do you want your child to have to chose between a christmas tree and a christmas gift?.its either we buy the baby nice clothes and good food and we starve.or we eat and the baby eats but doesn't have nice clothes." He could have gone on and on but he knew that he had won me over.I wanted the best life for my baby.and if that meant harry then so be it.but I knew for a fact that harry never wanted kids so young.so let's wait and see.

Notes

Everytime I decide on ending this story I get better ideas.anyway hope you are enjoying this madness.