Thirteen

“You say it’s easier to burn than to build
You say it’s easier to hurt than to heal
But I say you lose when you give up what you love
And I’ve lived my life without you long enough”
I Won’t – Colbie Caillat

Summer 2012

My head was pounding with the growing pain caused by migraine, and the bright light of the studio that seemed like sharp blades to my eyes just made it worse. I lost the bottle of Tylenol I’m sure I grabbed from Liam’s medicine cabinet and took with me. I’m pretty sure I still looked wasted- Paul gave me the weirdest stare the very second I showed up and climbed inside the Tahoe when he picked us up. I can’t just lie on the couch because Simon Cowell might barge in any moment and see me deadpanned on the side of his luxurious office slash studio. I can’t even remember if I wore a bra underneath Liam’s hoodie, which was at least black, thankfully.

I’m not sure what I’m doing there, but Liam dragged me out of my bed when he perfectly knew I had a major hangover after partying hard last night. I was completely hammered of liquor. It’s a miracle my eyes are wide open at nine in the morning here in their freaking studio doing nothing but listen to the boys and their vocal producer bicker about their song choices for the album. Why the hell am I needed here again?

Oh, right, Liam mentioned something about Zayn and I needed to talk.

I swear it, boys are just stupid. Wasn’t it clear to him why I went out and got drunk like it’s the end of the world last night? Why does he think I decided to drink my sorrow and drown myself out of alcohol?

It’s because it’s already been a week since, and Zayn and I are still fighting… and I just slept with my boyfriend’s best friend too.

And what’s worse is that Harry’s just right across the table from me, sitting with Niall and Josh, with his green eyes carefully staring at me. It was the same confusing stare he gave me just like that night we spent together with our naked bodies intertwined.

Fuck, just more reason why I shouldn’t be here.

“Campbelle, pull your shit together.” I heard Louis’ obnoxious loud voice said next to me. “Might I just tell you that you’re on the recording studio with some of the bosses? You don’t just sprawl here like you a dementor sucked out your soul.” He added.

I was pissed of Louis bossing me around, all the time. We used to be the one I’m closest to of the group other than Liam, but something just snapped in him the night on Simon’s Christmas Party and even before I know it, he’s just mad at me all the fucking time. I’m not sure what I did. Louis won’t say what’s wrong. He’s just changed. He’s actually worse than Paul, and I can’t tolerate him anymore.
“I don’t have the energy for your cockiness, Louis. I have the worst hangover ever, I need peace. Please, just this once. Leave me alone.” I nearly begged.

But Louis just scoffed and answered, “We’re recording here. Maybe it’s better if you leave?”

I had heard enough of Louis’ asshole-ness. If I was just sober, I would have shot him back the most sarcastic answer ever, but then again, I really wasn’t in the mood to play who’s the better master of sarcasm out of us. Shooting him one last glare, I left the recording room without excusing myself.

I headed down the floor’s corridor where I knew rooms would be empty as of the moment and was just lucky to stumble on a deserted room which seemed to be someone’s resting area, or was a dressing room, either way. I didn’t even second guess if it was okay to stay without permission because I just really need to lie there and sleep, so I carefully closed the door and jumped on the couch. Exhaustion quite literally took over my body as soon as I hit my head on the soft upholstery. Within seconds, I passed out.

I’m not sure how long did I lock myself alone and slept in the room but someone found me and woke me up. I felt someone gently tapped me in my shoulder that got me jerk all of a sudden and I was awake.

“Campbelle?” I instantly recognized it as Harry’s low, deep voice.

Harry, oh my god.

I don’t know how he does it, but Harry always finds me in my lowest state of body and mind. It’s like he knows, like he feels me and there’s something that would draw him to know where to find me. It’s just always like that, and you know what? That’s the very same reason why that unforgivable night happened.

“Do you feel better now?” he asked, worry was clear on his tone. I nodded and rubbed the sleep off my eyes. The nap I did was probably longer than what was considered a nap. My forearm was numb because I rested the heaviness of my head on it.

“I brought you some tea and medicine for your headache. I also nicked crackers from Uncle Simon’s office. You need to eat before you drink these painkillers.” He said as he gently hoisted my painfully tired body into sitting position and made me look at him.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be working now. They’ll be looking for you.” I asked.

In the back of my head, what I really mean was for him to leave me alone because I’m quite not ready for confrontation yet –with the two of us locked together in a room.

“We’ve been given an hour break. The boys took off to have lunch but I wanted to check up on you and see how you’re doing. You looked awful when you came with Liam this morning.” He told me.

“Gee, thanks a bunch, buddy.” I replied sarcastically before I sipped on the green tea Harry made which was truly a hangover savior. “Wait, you said they went out to have lunch already? And Liam didn’t even bother to ask anyone where I go?”

“Liam knows you’re just sleeping somewhere in the building. I bet he’s gone with them to get you some take-out before he looks for you.” Harry said. “I just needed to see you before he does.”

I kept myself quiet by eating the crackers Harry brought for me. Do not ask Campbelle. No. Keep your mouth shut. Do not start any awkward tension. Just dodge the thought of asking him. Don’t open the topic! Pretend like nothing ever happened.

I opened the bottle of Advil and took two tablets before Harry spoke once again, “Actually, I really wanted to talk to you because I want to ask you something, Campbelle.”

I swear I almost choked myself with the Advil.

I tried not to show him how shocked and scared I am with his sudden question, but Harry just smiled at me and asked, “Would you mind listening to this song?”

My shoulders dropped with the feeling of relief that this conversation wouldn’t be tense just like I reckon it would be. I asked Harry, “Is it a demo?”

“Well, no. I recorded it myself and wanted an honest opinion before I show it to the boys.”

He took out his phone and put on its earphones. He handed it over to me and as he wished, I carefully listened to the song he played.

I then realized it was a slow song. I closed my eyes and placed the side of my head back at the rest of the couch soon as the hypnotizing harmony of the guitar playing started playing on the background and Harry’s beautiful vocals blended with it.

“In the middle of the night she calls my name
I swear I hang on every word
Her voice like lightning and thunder
It's her spell I'm going under
In the middle of the night she call my name

And it feels so good
When I’m in her arms
Like a child
Who’s safe from harm

I don't wanna
I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
Miss this
I don't wanna
I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
Mess this up”

I kept my eyes shut while listening to it. There’s something different with the song. There was something through the lyrics of it that felt wrong but felt so right all at the same time.

Was it written for someone? Would it be bad to assume that it was written for me? Was that the reason why Harry wanted to ask for my honest opinion?

Though my eyes were sill close, I can feel Harry just inches away from me, again carefully staring at me, waiting patiently for any response from me. Somewhere deep inside me, I was scared of what might I see in Harry’s expression soon as I open my eyes and look at him.

“I see the sun set down on your smile
This is where I lay my fears back down
You're the song that I’m singing
Your my end and beginning
I see the sun set down on your smile

And you save me now
Like you saved then
You showed me how
To feel again,”

And on that note, I broke in. My eyes soon flutter open and right on spot, my grey ones met Harry’s emerald orbs.

Suddenly, I was sober enough to feel all the raging butterflies in my stomach.

His hand rested flat on my waist, putting me in place –ironically frozen with his warm touch. Our faces were mere inches apart, the tips of our nose touching and our lips were both dangerously close from colliding to one another.

Slowly, his hands hovered on the side of my face and took the earphone out of my ear. In through the melody coming from the other piece, Harry sang the rest of the song.

“I don't wanna
I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
Miss this
I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
I don't wanna
Mess this up”

“I made that song for you, Campbelle.” Harry whispered softly against my lips. “You don’t have any idea how long I’ve wanted for you to hear the songs I’ve written for you since we’ve met. I just can’t get you out of my head.”

My mind was screaming this is all wrong. That I should tell Harry to stop whatever he’s thinking of committing another sin any second. It’s just not the way we’re supposed to be. I’m with Zayn! I love Zayn! I can hear and feel that my heart and mind was screaming Zayn’s name.

But as I remained stuck on someone else’s arms, there was somewhere deeply unknown in me that was screaming much louder –it says Harry’s name.

Maybe it was because of the effects of being hangover. It could’ve been the reason why I’m so fucked up inside. Damn you, alcohol. My mind was suddenly blank. All I know is that I was pressing my lips against Harry’s.

Again, it felt so wrong, but was right all at the same time.

In the end, Harry and I found out I really wasn’t wearing anything underneath that hoodie I wore.

And for the first time that Harry and I are aware that we’re both making a mistake, all I did was to blame it to the alcohol that was still in my system.

----------(The Way We Are)---------

I ended up staying in Harry’s flat for a couple more days. Since I told him I won’t be leaving him alone again, I think Harry presumed I’d eventually leave my life back in Wolverhampton and live together with him in London. He took me out shopping for clothes and some girl necessities since I haven’t packed that much other than my bag I came home with from work that only had my wallet, a book, lip balm and my cellphone. He cleared the top shelf of his drawer for me and arranged all the clothes he bought for me himself. He made sure there was a stuck of Nutella in his kitchen for me. But what’s really crazy was Harry even bought us matching couple’s nightwear. I certainly was surprised Harry Styles was into that kind of thing. For the past four days that I stayed with Harry, we actually did consider ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend in a kind of way, just without the formality of the question if we really are.

It scared the shit out of me soon after I realized it.

Harry cooked food for me. He kept his promise of bulking me back in shape because I did look like a twig when I stared at my body on his mirror the other day. I was totally oblivious that the stress of everything that was happening right now had consumed so much of me. Harry even told me I looked malnourished.

Again, I was scared as shit.

The paparazzi and the fans knew about me living with Harry. I kept myself camped in his house at the first two days but somehow, someone managed to take a picture of me in Harry’s purple Jack Willis shirt and leaked it all over the internet which sent hoards of angry fans and nosy paparazzi outside Harry’s home, they even needed the police assistance to clear them out of the street. I wouldn’t even know what’s happening in the outside world if it wasn’t for Mary Anne who sent me the said pictures and it was clearly visible that I was indeed back in the life of Harry Styles. I was also told by Harry that Twitter crashed the other day because of the mad flow of tweets that were all about us –hate on me in most of these. I haven’t opened my social account for years, but I had the most vivid memory of how Directioners construct hate messages and how they shoot it all down on me. I wouldn’t even be bothered to read what they could possibly say at this moment.

My plan of keeping myself out of the prying eyes was a complete fail.

I knew they knew I was back in London with Harry. I knew they’re thinking in those big head of theirs that I’m messing with Harry again. I could feel it that they’re so worried I might cause another set of drama. They knew me very well, and I could be very well to depict them myself.

So it wasn’t a huge surprise to me when Niall showed up with Harry on the second day of my stay. I’d be lying if I say I wasn’t expecting them to barge in and see if I really was there. He came home with Niall on tow saying he invited him so to spend some time and maybe rekindle our old friendship. The stupid git treated me like I wasn’t even there. He didn’t say a word to me at all so I just returned the favor of not speaking to him as well.

Niall left 30 minutes later (read: probably uneasy with the daggering looks I was shooting him), but was only to be replaced by none other than Louis.

Let’s just say the surprise visit didn’t quite go as silent as the company with Niall. The second I saw Louis and his huge ass to be a male specie, I had gone bonkers and jumped at him that ended both of us in a brawl with one another in the floor of Harry’s living room.

It was a bloody mess. Louis earned a cut in his lips and Harry had to nurse me and my puffy red cheeks because the bitch Tomlinson didn’t care less that I was still a girl and just slapped the living daylights out of me that resulted with me likely resembling an over ripe tomato. The fucker even took a fistful of my hair but I managed to kick him in the balls that he had to leave with excruciating pain in between his groins. What I didn’t know was the motherfucker had left me a black eye too. Thank god it didn’t bruised too much and just looked like mascara smeared all over my left eye.

None of them came back after what happened.

I still haven’t returned Liam’s messages and calls. I really should be mad at him because he didn’t keep his promise that he wouldn’t look for me but Harry’s told me that Liam was worried sick how I’m doing while I was staying with him. Harry asked me back if there’s something wrong with us but I just told him that Liam and I had a little misunderstanding when I left all because of that stupid invitation from the soon-to-be-wed couple. I didn’t tell Harry how Liam kept sending messages telling me that he loves me and how he wouldn’t give up of the chance that I’d have a change of heart and still choose him.

Guilt had been eating me ever since then so I asked Liam to meet me out for lunch. Though there was the risk of getting killed by the mob of delusional fans outside the apartment, I still managed to slip away from them without any harm done. I was quick –and very much lucky- to take a jump on the taxi before any of the crazies could grab on me.

I met Liam on a restaurant near his place but the fans were unstoppable. We ended up meeting on his flat instead.

After greeting me with a quick awkward smack on the lips (read: Liam initiated. I was too stunned to even pull away), everything just went downhill.

The conversation was a complete disaster, because it involved Zayn and Perrie’s upcoming engagement party.

I’ve also been told that there was only a week left before that stupid engagement party.

If it wasn’t for the massive crowd of fans outside, I would have left still mad at Liam. But this time, nothing stopped him from knocking me to senses about the fucking party of my ex-lover and his new fiancée which I am expected to attend to.

Hell to the no.

“Does Zayn know Perrie invited me to come?” I immediately asked Liam while I tried my best to keep calm.

“I-I’m not sure about that.” was what Liam replied to me.

See the whole point why I don’t want to attend? Knowing someone like Zayn Malik quite very well, I’m a hundred percent sure he doesn’t know about the little evil scheme his future wife pulled at me.

Believe me, I tried to think of an acceptable rationale behind Perrie (read: I’d presume it’s entirely her plan because I’m still not sure if I should be blaming Zayn on this one too) wanting me there. Okay, let’s say Zayn did know about Perrie inviting me, maybe he just wants to show me he’s moved on and isn’t even bitter anymore, and I might as well should do the same. If he knows I’m invited, it’s probably to shove right in my face how good his life turned out to be after cutting me out of his life, and that I should really be bitter because he’s got a new bitch.

No. That’s not the Zayn Malik I know. Zayn would never do that, -just a bigger reason why I shouldn’t be there. It’ll be like pulling the band aid off of the still healing wound with such haste that the pain goes deep through the bones. Even though I hate him, I know that Zayn’s not that kind of person.

Liam tried his best to tell me coming to the engagement party wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He’s been praising the golden couple wouldn’t think of embarrassing me in front of all their guests because, let’s face it, we’re now bunch of mature young adults. Teenage years were way past us. It’s about time the whole past is put to rest and forgotten so all of us could completely move on. It was all but a stupid a mistake in the past. Why can’t we all be just friends again, like how I patched thing up with Liam (read: with a little flare added).

I was quick to tell him even if things gets ‘better’ between all of us, things with the rest of the band (read: I’m never patching things up with Tomlinson) just can’t be back to the way they were three years ago –when my day wouldn’t be complete without getting lectured from the concerned parents because I’m becoming worse than their sons.

I wish it was that easy to do, the patching things back up. I wish things weren’t that complicated. How many times have I wish for us to be back to normal? I don’t even know by now.

But wishing and hoping are two different things, right?

----------(The Way We Are)----------

I got a call from my Mum four days later after being AWOL from home.

Oh, and I just got fired from the thrift shop too. Since I think I’ll be staying here in London much longer, I better start finding myself a new job. I don’t want to be a burden to Harry, which I probably am already. He’s just too modest to say so himself. I still considered myself an independent woman, just living with someone from the opposite gender in case of emotional and hormonal needs. I still have to pay the dues myself.

“How are you doing there, Campbelle?” Mum asked. I instantly recognized her concern.

“I’m good, Mum. We’re okay back here. Don’t worry about me, I’m alright.” I told her back.

“But I heard about the problems with the fans. That’s more of my worry, dear.”

“Mum, you know how my life works when I’m with the boys. Yes, it does get freaky most of the time with how mental fans are, but there are the fans. They get what they want whether I like it or not. I can’t stop them.” I explained, though there was nothing more that I’d want but to really stop them from going crazy because I’m living with Harry under his roof. We don’t consume all our time fucking each other and having naked pillow fights. Yes, we sleep in his bed together. Yes, we kiss. Yes, we cuddle. Yes, I wake up in the morning with sweet baby Jesus next to me. Yesterday, I woke up with roses, champagne and kiss. Yes, this is real life. You lot need to just fucking calm your tits.

“Just be careful okay? I don’t want any of you to get hurt.” I just nodded at the phone, knowing Mum would know I did so. She just always knows. “And how’s Harry? Is he treating you alright?” she asked me again.

“He’s fine. He’s been very busy these past few days, always going to the studio and recording with the others. But we’re doing well together. There’s less drama now and just more like ‘normal’.”

“Did you both decide to be together now?”

I was quick to tell her, “No.”

Somehow, I didn’t sound convincing myself.

“I mean, Harry and I are trying to fix what we’ve left of us.” I corrected.

“Campbelle, are you sure about that?”

“Mum, wasn’t it just weeks ago that you told me I have to talk and see Harry and maybe see how we can fix everything that was left unsaid before? That’s what I’m doing now.”

“But honey, I feel for Liam.”

“What are you saying?”

“I can feel it, that Liam’s jealous with you and Harry. The boy can’t even smile at me now, and were talking about Liam here. When you left, Liam told me he’s really pushing himself to be mad at you but you in general can’t even close him to any bit of anger in him towards you. Campbelle, Liam’s already like my own son. I watched you two grow up together. I know you both. I know how you two work with one another. I saw how he’s grown to love you more than a best friend. When you left him two years ago, I saw how miserable he was that you were somewhere far and hurting but he couldn’t do anything because he believed you’ll never forgive him for pushing you away. But when I told him you’re coming back, Liam promised me he’ll fix everything. He’s a brave young man. He’s been through hell and back but still chose you. I know your best friend loves you so much that it hurts him to see you with his other best friend. And honey, even if you don’t tell me, I know how you’re trying to dodge what Liam feels for you.” she said.

I wasn’t surprised anymore that she opened it up. Since she found Liam and me frolicking, it was just a matter of time that she’d say something. And I was right again. She did know what we’ve been doing all this time.

And it just pains me to hear that my own mother knows how I unintentionally hurt that fragile young man in Liam because I’m scared of screwing us up. I know I love Liam, I can’t see myself without him. But he’s my best friend. You don’t fall in love with your best friend. That’s the first rule of it. It’s the very reason why things between Liam and I are breaking apart.

“I don’t want to lose Liam, Mum. But whenever I think about us, something in my head says it doesn’t fit perfectly together.” I told her.

I could be just going crazy, but I know there’s really something in my head saying Liam is a wrong choice. Giving my heart to someone in this state of me is just not a good choice right now. I just can’t worry about love right now because trouble is everywhere around me. I just can’t right now, I’ve already told that to Liam. I asked him to wait. He’s giving himself a hard time with thinking he’s lost all hopes on me. I haven’t closed any door. I just opened a bigger one with more problems to face.

“Well, how about you and Harry? Do you see yourself with him?”

“It’s…it’s hard to say, Mum. I promised him I won’t leave him alone again. He promised me that whatever it takes, he’d make sure to bring me back to who was the Campbelle Brooks he knows. But that doesn’t mean Harry and I involved feelings in this relationship we have right now.”

What Mum didn’t know was I’m speaking for myself. I’m not yet sure about Harry.

“That’s not what Liam told me.”

All this time, she wants me to just pick Liam.

I let out a frustrated sigh. I tried my best not to sound pissed so I told her, “Mum, Liam and I are okay. Maybe there’s a bit of tension, but I’ve fixed things with him. It’s about time I do the same with Harry. I’ve hurt him too. I need to fix whatever I could possibly save from the things I’ve left off.”

“You know whatever happens, I’m always here for you, okay? You’re my daughter. I trust your decisions and I hope things will be better for all of you. I just want you and your friends to be happy again. I don’t want to see you all screw up this second chance.”

“Mum, did you just cuss?”

“I’ve been reading them off from the letters piled up in our doorsteps. I told the fans you’re not here but they just get angry and won’t even believe me.”

“Oh my god, then I should be worried about you instead! Mum, just call the cops. I know those fans.”

“I’ll be alright, Camp. You don’t need to worry about me –worry about yourself. Are you in the apartment alone?”

“Yes, I am. Harry’s still working and I’m actually cooking us dinner. He’s been always doing them all, won’t even let me wash the dishes. I think he’s spoiling me.”

“Oh, the boy just adores you.” she gushed.

“It’s weird. We’re not even married.”

“Campbelle, speaking of marriage-”

I quickly to cut in, “I’m not going, Mum. That is final. Even if Liam drags me there, I’ll cut my arm if I have to.”

“I was just going to say the same. I think it’s better if you don’t go. I don’t want you to get yourself in more trouble.”

Thank God at least someone understands my point of view.

“I’ve had enough trouble for the past three years, Mum. I’m not stupid anymore.”

“Okay then. I’ll be checking on you and the boys every now and then.” Mum said, and then she added, “Oh! Give Mary Anne a call! The lady is very devastated you got fired.”

----------(The Way We Are)----------

“You suck big time, Campbelle Brooks, do you know that?” Mary Anne told me immediately after she picked up the call.

“I’m sorry! Leaving without permission is like a reflex of me now. Come on, just forgive me.”

“I don’t have someone to tease with her dysfunctional relationship with members of a boy band. Now, how are you going to hook me up with Niall Horan?”

“Seriously, move on from Niall Horan.”

“I can’t. It’s not easy.” She whined back. “He’s Irish.”

“You’re delusional, and he’s a prick.”

This is why I don’t talk to the fans.

“Kelly’s been asking about you too. My little girl misses you more than I do.”

“Don’t make me cry here! Is she with you? I want to talk to her.”

“No, she’s actually at my Nana’s because I don’ have money for a babysitter and you’re just gone away with Harry Styles. I suppose you’re making babies of your own there?”

I gasped loudly and shrieked, “Mary Anne! How many times do I have to remind you we do not speak about baby making?”

But she just laughed at me. “Speaking of which, Liam gave me a call the other day. Surprising, really, kind of made me hope he asks me out. Silly me! He’s only got his eyes on you. Anyway, he was asking for advice since I’m like an older, wiser woman for my age.”

It was my turn to chortle, “What ‘wiser’ are you talking about? You’re just old.”

“Fuck you. Liam dished out that both of you got a bit of misunderstanding the night before you left because he told you he’s been dreaming of you and him in the future -with a little Liam and or little Campbelle as added bonus.”

“I’m bloody best friend is thick sometimes.”

“What, Campbelle, you fuck! It sounds wonderful! You and him,”

“He thought of impregnating me that night. He practically suggested it.”

“You’re so choosy. It’s Liam Payne we’re talking about, my God. Be thankful you’re so lucky that you’re getting the D inside your V.”

I was so close to cutting the call. I just reminded myself that Mary Anne was the closest I have to have a girl talk with, even though I know she’ll be biased.

“You really are none the wiser, my buddy.” I pointed out. “He’s my best friend. His dick wasn’t really supposed to come in contact with my vagina. Oh God, I sound like a maniac.”

“Look, all that I’m saying is that I believe Liam is genuinely in love with you. And you, my dear Campbelle, are a heartbreaker.”

“I’m- I won’t argue I’m not. Okay, fine.”

“Honestly, I want you with Liam. He waited for four years to tell you that he’s in love with you. That’s some kind of dedication there, Camp. He’s gone through all of your bullshit and still chose to love you after all.”

First, it was my Mum. Now, Mary Anne’s telling me too to choose Liam. Ugh! It’s confusing!

“It’s just not the right time. I can’t just jump into a relationship with him now. He needs to understand that, and he needs to calm himself the fuck down. Did he tell you he’s been sending me constant ‘I love you, don’t forget that’?”

I heard a loud crash from Mary Anne’s line before she said, “And that answers why he’s jealous then!”

Still frowning, I asked her, “What did he tell you?”

“Liam was straight to the point. He told me he was damn jealous of you spending days with Harry. He’s jealous of Harry’s happiness now that you’re with him. He misses everything about you.”

“I just visited him the other day. Why didn’t he say that? If he asked me to stay, I would have. He just bugged the shit out of me because he was insisting I go to the engagement party. I left more pissed at him and he didn’t even say anything then.”

“You two really do have the most complicated friendship ever. Why don’t you give Liam a call again?”

For a second, I contemplated to do what she’s suggested.

But I was quick to decide for myself. After ending the call, I haven’t touched my phone again.

----------(The Way We Are)----------

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You’ve been sulking in the flat for nearly five days now.”

“But I’m worried that your fans-”

“They won’t hurt you. I’m going to be next to you all the time. I promise.”

“That hasn’t stopped them before.”

Harry just shook his head and chuckled back at me. “Oh, Camp,” he moaned as he pulled me closer to him. “You think too much in that pretty head of yours. Come on, I want to take you out for dinner. You need a breath of fresh air this Friday night.” he said as he pulled us back to his bedroom so to get changed into that little black dress he bought me today for the date he planned for us.

I was more nervous of wearing the dress and be told by Sugarscape or Perez Hilton that I look awful on it than going out in public and go on a date with Harry in general. No self-confidence, remember?

I even bargained for a private dance but Harry insisted I leave the house with him.

It was a miracle I didn’t get trampled by the worst Directioners up to date outside Harry’s flat. They seriously don’t dissolve even for a second. They just get bigger and bigger every passing day since I got discovered that I’m spending my days and nights with Harry.

We got into an Italian restaurant that Harry and I enjoyed dining in. The ambiance in it is very cozy and they’ve been accustomed of having someone big like Harry Styles hence they had large brass doors and is for reservations only.

As we entered premises, two young brunette girls who looked fairly young to be fans of One Direction stopped us. “Excuse me? Could we please have a picture?” the taller brunette asked nicely, shooting us the biggest grin I’ve seen a fan ever gave me.

Harry just nodded at them. “Let me take the picture for you.” I suggested.

Only, the other brunette said, “Oh no. Actually we want a picture of two together, like, just you two if that’s alright?”

I was quite shock with what I’ve heard her say. “U-Us?”

“We’re huge fans of yours, Campbelle. And oh my god! You’re so beautiful in person! Pretty please can we take a picture?” the girls begged.

I just looked back at Harry, hoping he’d see how nervous I was with the idea of posing for a silly picture with him for his fans –who now said they’re my fans! You can’t blame me if it’s hard to believe.

But Harry pulled me closer to him and whispered in my ears, “Just smile. They’ll love you like I do.”

And so I made up my mind. But just this once!

Harry wrapped his arms around my waist smiled at the camera. I gave them the most modest smile I could ever pose and hoped I looked at least okay or else they’ll probably put my face on a giraffe.

“Oh my god, thank you so much, Harry and Campbelle! You two really look good together, picture perfect beautiful!”

The taller girl showed Harry and me the picture they took.


I was struck of it that the only word I was able to mumble back to the fans was a soft “Thank you,” before they left. And for the first time, I really meant to thank them.


Harry and I were having a really good night together. We both enjoyed the Italian cuisine and it was so nice that Harry remembers what Italian food I enjoyed the most. He never fails to surprise me all the time.

“Good food, right? Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes, I did. Thank you, Harry.”

“Well, we need to treat ourselves once in a while.”

“You just didn’t like the pasta I made.”

“I did-,”

“Don’t lie to me, Styles.”

“Believe me, I tried to eat everything you cooked for supper, but I think I’d end up having renal cyst if I did so.”

I pouted back and said, “I am deeply hurt.”

Harry and I just laughed it off.

All of a sudden, I heard someone call my name out. “Campbelle?”

I turned my head around where the direction of the voice came and I was met by a very familiar face standing just a few feet away from us.

“Mitchie?”

“Campbelle!!!”

It was my old college roommate and good old friend, Mitchie.

I leapt off my seat and we gave each other a hug. Finally, at least I know someone in London that doesn’t hate me. Maybe the fates wanted me to be happy even for just this night.

“Oh my God, it’s been years! It’s so good to see you again!” Mitchie said as she squeezed the air out of my lungs, I nearly cried. “You look as gorgeous as always.”

“I’m surprise you still know me.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I still remember you, Campbelle! And honey, I see your face everywhere, just like when we were still in college. It’s not that hard to forget you really because I always say ‘Hey, I bunked with that girl in my college years and practically pushed her to date Zayn Malik of One Direction’.” She announced a bit loud than what’s necessary. The other guests in the restaurant looked at us.

“Err,” my eyes darted from Mitchie and then back at Harry who was sitting and I bet my bottom he was quite uncomfortable with what Mitchie just mentioned.

“Oh, of course that was ages ago. It’s good to see you with Harry.”

“Oh, we’re just-,” I tried to defend.

“Yeah, we’re just-,” Harry did so too.

But Mitchie cut in and said, “Ah, hush you two. There’s no need to fret. It’s okay. You two look cute together.”

It’s kind of weird, because Mitchie didn’t even give Harry a look.

“Well, enough about me. What are you doing here?” I asked her.

“I’m actually meeting my boyfriend and we’re having dinner too,” she explained.

“Oh! That’s so sweet. Am I about to meet him?”

“Oh, that’s the problem here. He just called me and said he got hold from work. He’s a busy little bee, and we’ve only been given a little time. He’s actually a musician; crazy, right? So I really must be going. He can get a little cranky when I’m late, but I love him.” Mitchie said.

“Oh, of course, we don’t want to hold you up any longer. Maybe we’ll see each other sometime soon, okay?”

“Sure! Just like the old times!”

Mitchie and I swapped numbers and left soon after.

I watched as a frown etched in to Harry’s face. “Weird, but I think I’ve seen her before.”

“You do. I brought her with me to one of your concerts before.” I told him.

He shook his head lightly and said, “No, I think I recognized her face somewhere else, I just can’t say where I’ve seen her before exactly.”

“You’ve met loads of people on daily basis. You must have met her in a gathering somewhere before, she said her boyfriend’s a musician.”

“Yeah, that’s probably it. Do you want to go now?”

“Yeah, okay. I’m making you tea when we get back.”

Aside from the screaming fans and Harry’s little confusion with recognizing Mitchie, I must say it was a good night after all. What matters the most is that we both had more fun than what’s expected to happen.

While waiting for the valet for his car, I heard Harry softly called out my name, “Campbelle,”

I stopped and turned my head to look at him. He leaned forward that our faces were inches away and whispered, “Is the offer of a private lap dance still up for grabs when we get home?”

----------(The Way We Are)----------

It seems like every single time Zayn’s name gets mentioned, problem was soon to follow.

I woke up in the middle of the night just to find out Harry has left me alone. Slowly, I got out of the bed and tried to find him.

I heard him on the living room, sitting on the couch of his, talking to someone over his phone in a hushed tone, but it was clear to me that he was having an argument to whoever was on the other line.

“You can’t tell me what and what not to do…” I heard Harry angrily said through his phone’s speaker.

“It’s none of your business. I didn’t force her to stay, she chose to stay with me, and honestly, I haven’t seen her fine till now, when she decided to be with me.” Harry’s voice turned more like a growl, and I was sure he was angry –like, really angry.

I was curious to who he was talking to so I scooted closer behind the doorframe and continued eavesdropping.

“Why do you suddenly care about her? You’re supposed to be worrying about your wedding and not her.”

I felt my heart sank down my stomach.

It was Zayn.

“Look, it’s really late now. We’re all tired. And I really don’t want to argue with you, Zayn. Things are different now. There’s nothing to hide. You’re not supposed to worry what Campbelle does, let alone think about her. Campbelle isn’t yours anymore.”

I stopped myself from crying right on the spot where I stood frozen. What are they talking about? Zayn couldn’t be thinking about me. He just couldn’t. Harry’s right. He’s going to get married soon. He shouldn’t be bothered that I’m somewhere near him. Why are they talking about me? Why is he fighting with Harry in the middle of the night about me?

I quickly jumped back to bed and acted like I’ve been sleeping and was oblivious the entire time until I felt Harry came back to bed with me and wrapped his arms around my waist so to pull me against his chest.

He didn’t say anything but I can feel how ranged he was after that row with Zayn on the phone.

As my eyes were closely drifting to sleep, I heard Harry broke the silence around us and softly said, “I won’t let him. He doesn’t believe me when I told him you promised to stay. I won’t let him take you again. You’re mine. I made you mine and you promised me you’re never going to let me go again. You promised, Campbelle. You promised.”

There was something wrong with the way he muttered those words against my skin, like they were tattoos that he put permanently inked on it, and how he tightly wrapped himself to me just really made me uncomfortable.

I was scared of what I did to him –of everything I chose to say and promise to him.

What if I was wrong the entire time I was with him?

What if Harry did change and it was for the worse?

Notes

Again, I don't hate Perrie. It's just for the story.
Next chapter is gonna be hell lot of drama. Get ready for it. ;)

Thank you s much for sticking with my story. Let me know what you think so far.
Reviews are highly appreciated lovelies. <3

@_AndieTiu