The next couple of days, I took off school partly because I had contracted a cold of some sort, but also because I wanted to avoid Sam and Harry at all costs while I figured out what I wanted to do.
I knew that I wanted to be with Harry, that was clear, but it was turning Sam down that I was afraid of.
He had even turned up to my house with some homemade chicken soup yesterday afternoon. We sat on my couch watching boring cartoons while he played with my hair.
It was hard not to like him, but at the same time, I knew that Harry was the one.

It was now Friday, and Sam had invited me to another party tonight. I had checked the address and realised that it was weirdly close to Harry’s flat.
I guess I knew that this time if something bad happened, he was only a few houses down the road.
Harry and I hadn’t really spoken since our phone call the other night. I knew he wasn’t mad at me, and I certainly wasn’t mad at him, but I knew he needed his space after giving me a warning the other night.
I got ready with Daisy and Madison in my room, having pre drinks and applying make up to our favourite girly tunes.
I was so nervous, but wouldn’t let it show to Mads and Daisy. They both knew that I had been having a thing with Sam, but didn’t really know the extent of it. Daisy certainly didn’t know about Harry and I, and how things were starting to look up again.

Once we arrived at the party, I knew this wasn’t going to be a normal night.
I was greeted by a stumbling Sam who sloppily laced his arm around my shoulders, kissing me on the cheek.
“Well someones’ in a good mood.” I said faking a smile.
“I certainly am.” He slurred. “Come with me, I have to show you something.” He took my hand leading me through the party and upstairs.
“Be safe.” Daisy whispered winking at me. I smiled shyly, knowing that sex was definitely off the cards for tonight.
He opened the door to what looked like the parent’s bedroom, before opening the door to the verandah.
“Look at the stars.” He said pointing up at the sky. “How beautiful are they tonight?! They look like they’re on fire. Don’t you think? Like magical balls of flame racing towards the earth. Like thousands of comets!”
I watched him as he spoke and realised that he was high.
“Are you high Sam?” I folded my arms across my chest.
“What?! Noooo.” He said before breaking out into a fit of laughter. He was acting like a teenage girl who had just gotten drunk for the first time.
I pushed him away from me and began walking back inside.
“Wait where are you going?” He took my hands in his own.
“I’m leaving.” I reached out for the door. His grip tightened on my hands and a shiver ran through my spine.
“Why are you mad at me?”
“Because, you’re doing drugs again Sam! You’re not supposed to, and you lied to me! You said you were clean, remember?”
“Pffffft! So what?! Who cares, I’m allowed to have a little fun, it’s just a party.” He slung his arm around my waist, gripping onto my hip.
“Look, whatever personal pain you’ve got going on, you’re going to have to work it out for yourself. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.”
“So that’s it then? You’re just going to walk away?” He stumbled backwards, beer sloshing out of the top of his cup. I caught sight of the kind Sam in his eyes, underneath his drunken and high state. I walked back over to him and pulled him into a hug. I cupped his face in my hands and gently kissed his lips.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered.
I turned my back on him, proud of what I had achieved. He needed to know that I wasn’t going to waste my time with him if he was going to be doing drugs and lying to me.
I knew he didn’t necessarily mean to hurt me, but it still hurt all the same.
By ending things this way, I was letting him down easy, and he never had to know about Harry. I know it was a little bit sneaky of me to do, but I the option was there, and I was going to take it.
“Wait, can’t we just like...I don’t know, sit for a bit? Don’t leave me. Not yet.” He slurred. He opened out his hand, gesturing for me to go with him back out onto the verandah.
I felt bad enough about all the shit that had been thrown his way, so I accepted his offer.
We sat together for a bit, just looking at the stars, not really talking.
Our conversations became more in sync as more alcohol entered my blood stream, making me more relaxed and open to what he had to say.
I felt my phone ringing in my bra (the only safe spot to keep it at a party) and awkwardly shoved my hands down my top, ignoring the looks I was getting from Sam.
It was Harry.
“Hellooo?” I said answering the call. It was against my better judgement taking the phone call especially with Sam sitting right next to me, but by now I was way past sober, which meant I was way past making any rational decisions.
“Hey. How are you?”
“I am fabbo. How are you?” I said stiffling through a laugh. It suddenly occurred to me that this was the first time I had spoken to Harry after he told me not to ‘screw him around.’
“I’m okay. Just wanted to call you, see how you are. I’m awfully bored, just in bed watching a movie - wishing you were here with me.” He said softly.
“Aw, I wish I was with you too.”
Sam got up out of his seat and tried to dance to the music that was blasting from downstairs to get my attention.
I cupped my hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing - he looked like an absolute idiot. A cute idiot however.
“Whatcha doing?” Harry asked.
“Nothing, just at a party.”
“Oh. Sorry, is this a bad time or?”
“No, its cool. It’s kinda noisy anyways so I’m just up on this balcony thing with Sam.”
Silence.
Shoot, why did I say I was with Sam?!
“I see.” Was all he managed to say.
As Sam continued twirling around like an idiot, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“Sounds like you two are having fun.” Harry croaked.
“Yeah, your cousin, he’s a funny one that one!”
Sam stopped his dancing and titled his head. He looked at me funny and mouthed ‘Harry?’
I felt my heart come to a stand still as I shook my head to say no.
“Look, I better get going, but I’ll call you in the morning, kay?” I said quickly.
“Sure.”
“Bye.” I quickly hung up from the call, slipping my phone back down my bra.
Sam became quiet and sat back down in the seat next to me, clutching his beer bottle with both hands.
“Who was that?” He asked.
“It was Hannah.” I replied quickly, taking another swig of my drink.
“Really?”
He sounded unimpressed, like he didn’t believe me. I felt tension rise between us, and knew that I should probably get out of here before things turned ugly.
“Yeah, she was just checking up on me. Anyways, I really need to go to the bathroom, so I’ll be back in a second.” I stood up smoothing out my dress and walked back inside, striding towards the bedroom door.
I felt Sam’s footsteps close behind me and felt a surge of panic pulsate through my body. It was crazy how one minute he was acting funny and adorable, and the next he was scaring the crap out of me.
“Why were you talking to Harry?” He asked glaring a me.
“I wasn’t.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I wasn’t. I promise.”
I watched as Sam winced at the very word. Maybe he had had trust issues in the past?
“Don’t look so stressed Sammy. I was just talking to Hannah, its fine. Come on, lets go get some water and fresh air shall we?”
“I don’t believe you.”
I felt like I was going round in circles with this guy, how on earth would I ever make this end?!
“The bra.” He suddenly muttered.
“What?”
“The bra. At Harry’s place. It was yours wasn’t it?”
“What on earth are you talking about?!”
“I knew it. I knew it from the start that something was going with you two, I just didn’t want to believe it.”
“Sam, seriously you’ve got this all mixed up-”
“You and Harry. Wow. This is a new low, even for him. Dating one of his students? How immature.”
“Sam, stop it.”
“Of course you like Harry better than me. Of fucking course. I mean why wouldn’t you?! Everyone does! Even my own mother. Just because his life is so fucking perfect.”
“You need to calm do-”
“Shut up Sophie! How could you do this to me?! I seriously thought you were different to everyone here. I thought you actually cared and wanted to help me. But no, you’ve just been sneaking around bopping your English teacher behind my back! If the school ever found out about this you’d be-”
“Stop it.”
“I don’t know why I didn’t see the signs earlier. It wasn’t obvious, but for some reason I always knew it was coming. I always had a feeling. From the way he looks at you in school, to the way you talk about him. I feel like an idiot. You’ve made me out to be a fucking fool Sophie!”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about Sam. Seriously, this is all wrong. There is nothing going on between Har-”
When the palm of his hand hit my face, I felt the whole world slow down and suddenly come to a stand still.
The wind seemed to be knocked out of me, and the attempts to breathe were cut short by my gasping.
What had just happened?! I clasped my hand to my cheek, cradling the stinging and raw skin.
He had left his mark on me now.
“I’m so sorry, oh my god Sophie, I don’t know what came over me, I just...”
His eyes grew wide once he realised what he had just done. I began to cry as I walked away, stumbling down the stairs.
I never wanted anything to do with him again.