I walked down the hallways the following Monday, holding my books tightly to my chest. I was nervous to see Sam, I didn’t know what to expect from him...I didn’t know how he was going to react today.
He had really scared me on Saturday night, and after hearing about how there were drugs present at the party, I wasn’t so sure that he was telling me the truth about being clean.
I wondered if Harry knew about his history with drugs. I wondered how he would react if he knew I was hanging out with him. I mean I guess he saw us that day when we were sitting in the courtyard, but he probably didn’t think much of it, he was too busy being shocked seeing Sam at school and I had awkwardly slipped away, leaving them to have their moment.
I dialled in my number code and swung open the locker door, placing my books on the shelf. It had been a long day. A day that didn’t involve English class luckily enough.
I felt like Harry and I had turned a corner after Saturday night. It was no longer tense between us...but now it was just awkward. He knew that I missed him and that I was still in love with him - I had told him myself apparently in my drunken state. He knew how vulnerable I was, that I was out partying and that the first thing I had done when I was scared, was go to him.
I wonder if any of my feelings would ever be reciprocated.

As I shut my locker door I was startled by Sam who had hidden behind the steel door.
“Oh my god.” I gasped.
He flashed me a smile, leaning against the locker next to me.
“Did I scare you?” He laughed.
“A little bit.”
I watched intently as he pulled out a rose from behind his back and placed it in my hands.
“What’s this for?” I asked.
“To say sorry.” He scuffed his feet and rocked back and forth on his heels. “For you know...Saturday night.”
I felt myself blush as I smelt the rose taking in its beautiful perfume. By now we were the only ones in the corridor.
“You didn’t have to-”
“But I did. I was a jerk Soph...I put you in danger, I lost my temper, I was violent...it was just really wrong, and so for all that, I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t help but smile. I knew I shouldn’t be so quick to forgive but I couldn’t get past those eyes of his.
“It’s okay. Thank you for this. Means a lot.” I smelt the rose once more before grabbing my bag out of my locker, beginning the walk down the empty corridor by his side.
I felt a jolt of nervous energy shoot through my body when I felt him take my hand in his. He swung our hands back and forth playfully before spinning me around.
“Did I mention how beautiful you looked on Saturday night?” He asked.
I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and gave him a shy smile.
“No you did not.”
“Well, you looked beautiful.”
“So did you.” I said winking.
“Really?! Thank you so much, I was hoping to look really pretty just for you, so I’m glad I pulled that off.”
“You really did. You looked so gorgeous.”
We collapsed into a fit of giggles, continuing to swing our hands back and forth.
Harry suddenly appeared from around the corner carrying a pile of test papers, a pen sticking out of his mouth. I skidded on my heels as I came to an abrupt stop.
I felt my heart freeze and my laughter immediately died down.
I watched as his eyes widened as he looked at Sam, looked at me, looked at our hands and my rose. His posture stiffened at the sight.
“Oh hey cuz.” Sam said.
I didn’t know whether I should take my hand out of Sam’s grip, or ditch my rose somewhere. I just didn’t expect this moment to ever happen, I don’t know why I didn’t though, we all went to the same school after all.
“Uh hey.” He said trying to avert his eyes away from mine.
“Mum said you’re coming round for dinner tonight? Should be good! She’s making her famous Italian pasta dish.”
“Uh, yeah should be good..I’ve actually just got to run and put these papers away, so I guess..I’ll yeah, I’ll just um see you tonight, and yep. I’ll be going.” He shuffled on his feet before awkwardly walking away, his towering torso disappearing behind us.
Sam didn’t think much of it and pulled me forwards, continuing our walk down the corridor. I felt my heart sink and tightness in my chest. I didn’t know what to do.
“You okay?” Sam asked looking at me.
“What?”
“I said are you okay? You look a bit pale. Like you’ve seen a ghost or something!”
“Oh, I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I think I just left something in my locker. I’ll be back in a sec.”
“Okay cool, I’ll wait for you in the car.” He lightly kissed me on the cheek before walking out into the parking lot.

As I walked down the corridor, I felt a strange sense of sadness grow over me. It overcame my whole body, like when a grey cloud covers the sun. All the light seemed to have gone.
The sound of my boots clacking on the floor filled my hollow stomach. I felt sick with guilt.
I turned around the corner to the English classroom and saw Harry standing by the window hands on his hips.
I watched him for a while but he didn’t seem to move. It was only when I unlatched the door did he turn around.
We both didn’t say anything for a while. I just stood there, not knowing where to begin.
“Why?” Was all he managed to say.
I didn’t know why. If I knew, I would have told him right then and there.
But I didn’t really know.
Maybe it was because he was the new kid. Or because he was my age. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because he looked, sounded and acted like Harry. And all I had ever wanted since we broke up, was to be with Harry again, and Sam was the closest thing I had.
“I-I don’t know.” I squeaked.
He interlocked his fingers behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed with annoyance.
I didn’t know if he was mad, disappointed or upset. Maybe he was all three.
I turned to leave the classroom when I felt his footsteps creep up behind me. His large hand enveloped my own as he pulled me into his chest, arms cradling my back.
His hand rested on my cheeks, thumb tracing over my lips.
“I lost you once, I’m not going to lose you again. Especially not to that guy.” He said bitterly. I looked up into his eyes, tears stinging my skin as they rolled down my face.
“Harry don’t-”
His lips suddenly pressed themselves onto mine and I felt the world slow to a still underneath my feet. His heart could be felt between our chests, and I forcefully grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck.
I had been waiting for this moment for what felt like eternity. I leant back as he towered over me, kissing me forcefully like I was water and he had been dying of thirst.
I threw my arms around his neck, clinging onto him, never wanting to let go.
The kiss was fast and urgent, like we didn’t have much time left, even though we had all the time in the world.