The last week I have decided to focus only on school and try to forget about everything else that is going on in my life. I feel a lot better than I did last week, and I actually have the desire to go out and do normal college student things rather than sit in my dorm alone.

I'm meeting Sam at the library so we can work on our bio project, but I need to call Liam and Sophie first. I haven't talked to them in days. I've just been focusing so much on school, that I haven't talked to anyone but people at Stanford.

I decide to call Liam first because it's getting late in London, but he doesn't answer. I call Sophie next and we chat for a good half hour about about everything she's done this summer and I can't help but feel a little homesick. I miss everyone back in Malibu, but the fact that I'm going back in a couple of weeks after my summer course end makes me feel better.

I have to cut the call short so I'm not late to the library, but I promise to call her later before getting my book bag and leaving my room.

"Hey Aubrey!" Sam greets me.

"Hey!" I sit down and set my bag on the floor.

Just as we start working on our project, my phone starts ringing and Liam's name appears across the screen. He's probably just calling me because I called him earlier, so I'll just make sure to call him when I'm done.

Just as soon as I put my phone back in my bag, Liam calls again.

"You can answer that, it's fine." Sam assures me as he types something on his laptop.

"Hello?" I answer the phone quietly because we're in the library.

"Hey, sorry I didn't answer your call earlier." Liam says.

"That's okay, but can I call you back later? I'm in the library." I whisper.

"Um, I actually need to tell you something." He sounds nervous, and that instantly makes my heart beat faster.

"Can you text me?"

"No, I don't think it's a thing you would want to read over text."

"Okay... Uh, I'll call you back in a minute, I'm going to go back to my dorm."

"Alright, talk to you then." He hangs up.

"Sorry, I really need to go." I explain to Sam as I collect my books and laptop and quickly shove them into my bag.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, well I hope." I uneasily laugh. "Sorry again."

"It's fine, we can just work on it tomorrow after class."

I practically run back to the privacy of my dorm and dial Liam's number. I have no idea what he's about to tell me, but judging by the urgency in his voice over the phone, there's a panic running through my body. It's gotta be about Harry, but what is it? I haven't talked to Harry in weeks so I don't know how he's been.

"Hey, sorry again for interrupting you, but I really think you should hear this." Liam finally answers the phone.

"It's okay. Liam, what's wrong?"

"Aubrey," he stops and I can hear him take a deep breath. "I just wanted to tell you that I saw Harry kissing a girl last night at Zayn's. I know you guys aren't dating anymore, but I know you still care for him, and I didn't want to keep this from you."

The phone drops from my ear and I gasp. I feel the blood drain from my face and I want to cry.

I had a feeling it was going to be about Harry, but I never expected this. I can't believe it.. But then I remember I told him he should see other people when I broke up with him. I'm so fucking stupid!

"Aubrey, are you there?" I hear Liam and quickly grab my phone from the bed where I dropped it.

"Sorry." I whisper.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm just a little confused, but we're not dating, so I don't care." I lie. Of course I care! When I told him that he should see other girls, I thought he was going to wait for me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm glad he's moving on." I try to keep the tears back. "It's for the best."

Maybe it is though. Maybe if I see him moving on, I can too.

"I'm sorry for telling you like this, but I didn't want you to be the last to know. Are you sure you're okay?" Liam asks again. As much as this hurts, I'm glad he told me. He's a great friend, and I'm thankful to have him.

"Yeah, thanks for telling me Liam. How are you?" I try to change the subject.

"I'm good, how are your classes going? You're almost done right?"

"There good. And yes, I only have a week left of my summer classes, and then I have a week break before the fall semester." I explain to him.

He goes on about his mother trying to get him to work for his father in a factory and other random things, but all I can think about is the information he told me just minutes ago.

"What's her name?" I interrupt him.

"Huh?"

"The girl that Harry kissed, do I know her?"

"Oh... No, it was one of Perrie's friends. I don't even know her name to be honest. Aubrey, if it makes you feel better, I don't think they have anything in common. Don't worry about it."

"I was just wondering... I have to go Liam, thanks again for calling."

"Alright, call me if you need to. Bye Aubrey."

I hang up and bury my face in the pillow. I don't know what to think or how to feel, I just want to cry. This is what I told him to do, to move on and not let me hold him back, but I thought he was serious when he said he would wait for me. We're broken up, I shouldn't care, but I do. I care so much.

"Aubrey?" I feel my bed sink a little when I hear sam's voice and he sits down next to me.

"You left your door unlocked, and I was worried when you left the library. What's going on?" He tells me when I look at him confused.

"I'm just being a girl." I laugh weakly and try to hide my tears as I sit up.

"What happened?"

"My friend just told me that my ex kissed another girl, pathetic I know. He's my ex, I shouldn't be surprised. It's not like he was going to come all the way back from England and not move on after I broke up with him."

"England? So he's the friend you went to London for?"

"Yeah..."

"Wow, so you two must've been pretty serious."

"Yep. But he's obviously over me now."

"Well he's stupid for letting you go, Aubrey. Whoever he kissed, was obviously a downgrade." He tries to comfort me.

"I just don't know why this is getting to me so much, I broke up with him."

"Because you still care about him, and that's normal."

I get up and grab a tissue from the box on my desk and attempt to stop crying. I feel pathetic for crying in front of Sam, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"I miss him." I break down and let the tears overcome me.

"Aubrey." Sam frowns and stands up to hug me. "It's okay to miss him. You've been so strong, just let it out." He rubs my back to comfort me, and I can't stop my sobs.

"You don't need him, anyway. If he's stupid enough to move on, than you deserve better." Sam holds my shoulders and looks at me.

"I'm sorry, I probably look stupid right now." I laugh and wipe my eyes. "Thanks for letting me dump all my problems on you, though."

"You're not dumping your problems on me, we're friends, this is what friends do." He smiles.

"Thanks"

I look down at my feet to avoid his eye contact and wipe my tear stained cheeks with my sleeve.

"Don't cry, Aubrey." Sam takes my chin and forces me to look at him, his voice soft and comforting. I wish he didn't have a British accent though, it reminds me too much of what I have lost.

"He's not worth your time." He takes my face in his large, warm hands, and before I know what's happening, his mouth is on mine.

"Sam." I pull back and push him away. He looks at me confused and holds my hips so I don't back up further than I already have.

"I'm sorry, I can't." I pull his fingers off of me and walk towards the door to open it.

"Yes you can, you need someone who won't hurt you like that bastard." He looks angry, and won't move.

"I'm the one who hurt him, you don't know the whole story."

"Then why are you the one crying after he kisses a different girl? Aubrey, I won't do that to you, I won't make you cry."

Where is this coming from? I don't even know how to respond I'm so bewildered. I've never thought of him as more than a friend, and I never knew he felt this way about me.

"Sam, I still love him. I'm sorry, I don't like you like that. I've only known you for a few weeks, I barely even know you."

"Then get to know me. You'll see that I won't hurt you."

"You should go." I almost whisper, my body is taken over by my emotions so I can barely speak. This is all so confusing, I want to scream. I can't feel this way about Harry kissing a girl, we are broken up, and I told him to move on. Even though that's not what I want, it needs to happen, otherwise my life will continue to stay at a standstill.

"Please." I beg when he just stands there and looks at me.

"Fine, but I'll be across the hall when you realize you don't have to feel like this. When you realize I will never make you cry like he has."

He storms out of the room and I jump when he slams his door shut.

I lock my door and drag my feet over to my bed to attempt making sense of my emotions. I obviously can't get over Harry, but I've ruined any chance to get him back when I broke his heart. I know that I should move on if he is too, but when Sam kissed me, I couldn't do it. I never want to kiss anyone but Harry.

Notes

May or may not update again later because this chapter is sucky and the next chapter is when it gets better!