I knew Harry was losing patience with me.

I could see it in his eyes. He watched me much more closely now.

We didn’t really fight but I knew he was starting to doubt my word when I told him I was okay which just meant a fight was inevitable.

I avoided everyone and tried to keep any displays of affection between me and Harry as privet as possible, which I knew he was beginning to notice and it was bothering him. It was also adding fuel to the slowly burning fire that I was just waiting to explode in my face but I didn’t want to risk more defaced pictures of the two of us popping up.

The other day I had received another letter, squashing my hope that the sender was left behind in London.

I knew I was on edge and I knew Harry could tell but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

So I suffered in silence, wondering if who ever was doing this was watching me at that moment.

It’s probably the worse feeling in the world to think someone is watching you, in a creepy way. It literally made my skin crawl and my heart pound at the thought of it but I had to act like it wasn’t an issue for Harry’s sake because this would be too much for him.

But it still made me on edge.

Because I was so on edge I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt two hands clamp down on my shoulders as I was walking back from the hotel gym.

“Hiya.” A cheerful voice shouted in my ear soothing my frayed nerves a bit.

As soon as my heart rate and breathing returned to normal I let my eyes sweep over the girl in front of me.

It had only been a week but I missed her terrible already.

“JENA!!!”

She beamed back at me holding her arms open for a hug which I quickly accepted.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as we pulled apart.

“I missed you all.” She said with a shrug. “Besides its the weekend and my classes don’t start until next week.”

I couldn’t be happier to hear that.

We continued chatting as we made our way back up to the floor the boys were on. Jena telling me all about her dorm and roommates and her excitement to be starting Uni.

The floor was deserted at the moment as the boys were off doing some radio interview.

I turned to Jena. “You can wait with me if you’d like.” I offered nodding towards the room I shared with Harry.

Jena nodded and followed me as I pulled the key card out of my shorts pocket.

As we walked into the room my foot caught a slick surface and I nearly fell on my butt. After regaining my balance I looked down to find an envelope resting under my trainers.

My eyes widened at the object and my heart began to race again. I probably would have missed it completely if it hadn’t been for the fact that I nearly slipped on it.

Jena looked from me to the envelope still under my shoe. She must have been wondering why I was frozen in my spot just staring down at it. “Dawn?”

I snapped my head to look at her. How was I going to go about getting rid of that letter now? Surly she was curious at my reaction to it at this point. How was I going to get out of this.

“Dawn what’s going on?” She asked with a nervous laugh as she began to bend over to pick up the letter.

I panicked and shot down to snatch it out of the way before she could get it.

As we both stood up she sent me a funny look.

“What is that?” She asked suspiciously.

I just dropped my eyes to the letter, wishing I could just toss it out and not have to come up with some lie.

“Dawn?” She asked again a bit more insistently.

“Um... it’s...” I wish I could think faster.

I didn’t have time to respond. Jena reached out and grabbed the letter from me.

Part of me wanted to snatch it back and run but the other part of me couldn’t help but breath a sigh of relief. Finally someone else would know. It was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders but quickly being dropped back on. If Jena knew she might tell Harry.

I watched in a bit of a daze as she opened the letter and read through the few words on the page.

I briefly wondered if maybe it was just a regular letter as I saw the blank expression on her face but then she looked up at me with so much concern and worry. “Dawn what is this?”

So it was one of those letters after all.

“It’s nothing.” I said reaching out for the letter but she tugged it out of my reach.

“Bull shit.”

My eyes dropped down to lose eye contact and my hand returned to my side. I had nothing I could think of to say.

“DAWN?” She asked a bit more instantly, her voice raising slightly.

I still didn’t answer.

“How long have you been getting these?” She asked guessing that it hadn’t been the first by my initial reaction to it.

“A few.” I finally managed to mumble out still not looking at her.

“Holy shit.” She gasped out. “What has Harry done about this?”

I flinched at her words.

Slowly I looked up, a little ashamed at myself. She must have understood my look as her eyes widened.

“He doesn’t know.” She said before narrowing her eyes at me. “What is wrong with you? You need to tell him this?”

“NO!” I shouted causing her to jump a little and look at me like I was crazy. I felt a little crazy at the moment. “You can’t tell Harry. He doesn’t need to worry about this. It’s nothing.”

Jena’s already wide eyes widened even more as she shoved the letter at me. “You’re going to tell me that this isn’t something to worry about.”

I hesitantly reached for the paper with shaking hands. I didn’t really want to know what it said but a sick part of me HAD to know.

You’re so beautiful. He doesn’t deserve you. You belong with me.

Some part of me sighed in relief. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. The last one was much more menacing with its insistence of me belonging to whoever this was with a picture from the internet attached to it with Harry ripped out of it.

This I could try to down play and hopefully Jena would keep her mouth shut.

“Jena it’s nothing. It’s just someone with a crush and this will go away. There is no need to worry Harry over this. You know how he gets when it comes to me. He over reacts and this is just some silly little letters.” I tried.

“You cannot be serious.” Jena said staring at me.

“I am. Just... trust me ok. It’s nothing serious. I can handle it on my own. Harry doesn’t need this stress.”

“When are you going to realize that you don’t need to protect Harry from everything?” Jena demanded. “He’s a big boy Dawn. One that loves you and wants to protect youbut your not giving him the chance to.”

I shut my eyes tight. I knew I was keeping a lot form Harry and I knew it wasn’t healthy to our relationship but I didn’t want to be a bother either.

Harry had the whole world on his shoulders, he had millions of girls to impress and this would just be so much more strain on his already over loaded mind. I couldn’t do that to him but I also had a hard time being able to reason this out with other people.

“I just can’t tell him Jena, and it’s really not your place to say anything to him or the others anyway.” I countered.

Her jaw dropped at my words. They were a bit harsh but I was already on edge. I didn’t need her to make me feel any worse then I already felt.

“Dawn-”

“Just drop it Jena. Seriously, its so stupid it’s not even worth us arguing about. It’ll just go away. The boys get letters like this all the time and they eventually just go away.”

Jena eyes me, trying to decipher what to do so I sent her a reassuring smile. “It’ll be fine Jena, just ignore it. That’s what I’ve been doing. It’ll just go away, promise.”

Slowly she nodded in agreement. I knew she was hesitant and she didn’t really believe my words but at least I had averted her running off and telling Harry or the others.

“I still don’t like this Dawn. you should tell him. You’re keeping an awful lot form him these days.”

I knew she was referring to my aversion to further our sex life but I choose to ignore it.

“Its just because of the tour, once this is over I’ll talk to him.”

Again she looked at me apprehensively but I just shrugged it off.

“Now can we drop all this drama and watch TV, there’s a Married to Jonas marathon on E! and I want to watch it.”

Jena half smiled at me before walking farther into the room. I watched her sit on the bed before looking down at the letter still in my hands.

To be completely honest it scared the crap out of me. This was the first one to appear at the hotel, where Harry and I slept no less.

This was slowly advancing and I had no clue how to stop it.

I just prayed that the words I said to Jena would miraculously become true and whoever this was would become bored of this sick game they were playing and just drop off the face of the earth.

Somehow I didn’t think that was likely to happen but I could still hope.

Right now my biggest concern was keeping this form Harry and the others because aside from the fact that this would stress them out I couldn’t imagine any of them would be too pleased to find out I had already hid four of these letters from them and lied about it.

“Dawn?” Jena’s voice cut into my thoughts. I looked up with a fake smile plastered to my face. She looked a little worried but I just force myself to smile bigger. “You alright?”

“Yea, I’ll be right back.” I told her as I turned, the letter still clutched in my hand.

I needed to dispose of it somewhere Harry wouldn’t be able to find it.

As I walked down the hall towards the ice machine, where I knew there was a trash can, my eyes shifted from side to side. My mind making all sorts of figures appear out of nothing.

I wondered if this was how this tour was going to go for me, always wondering if someone was watching me at that moment.

It wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all.

Notes

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