I sliced my arm again and again, savouring the feeling of this pain scrubbing out my inner one. I decieded to move on to my inner leg and made small cuts there, sure to do it high enough so that no-one would notice. I only ever cut my upper arms and legs, so that it would be hidden by my clothes. I never went swimming, I didn't want people to know. Too many questions. I sometimes lightly cut the side of my abdomen, but only very rarely. I've never been caught, and I don't intend to anytime soon. I was always very careful. But I knew that somewhere deep inside, I wanted to get caught. So they would stop me. I don't want to cut, I just can't resist that temptation. I've never thought about suicide, I don't want to die.

I heard a knock at my door which startled me. I sliced alot harder than I had intended and yelped in pain. They burst the door open and started down at me, blade still in hand and blood seeping from the fresh wound on the back of my leg. "Oh Mels...", my best friend sighed.
What was I going to tell him? "Are you okay? What have you done to yourself?", he continued. My hands shook and the blade fell to the tiled bathroom floor. "I-I--", I tried. "Come with me", he heaved with a heavy sigh. He pulled me up off the floor and towards the sink. He turned the tap so warm water poured out. He grabbed a towel and wet it, he then gently grasped my arm and dabbed the blood away. "Where's the medical box?", he asked me queitly. I reached down under he sink and pulled it out. He reached inside and got antiseptic, bandages and cotton wool. He cleaned my wounds in silence. There was no need, though. I always made sure the blades were sterilised and cleaned. "Niall, I--", I started, trying to explain. "Don't", he dissmissed.

Notes

sorry for the short chapter. It's just a starting one. Feeling pretty depressed today.

check out my other story if you like this one. and if you dont like this one- check out my other one anyway.

fighting for what we want

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penquin