Little Things
You Crossed The Line
Today was my last of summer school classes before I was done I was so excited to be free. I strolled in and checked in with Mary then headed to the science lab. Zayn was already in his usual seat which is unusual because he is always late. “Why you here so early?”
“My watch is 10 minutes early so I got here early.” He shrugged. We all got handed exams and were told to get to work. I breezed by mine seeing as all of it was things I had learned years ago and reviewed in the past few days. I got up and went to go give Mary my exam. I waited while she graded it and then saw Zayn come out.
“How did you do?” I asked
“Got an 86%” he shrugged like it was nothing but I knew he was proud. I was about to congratulate him when Mary called me up.
“Well done Jazz.” She handed me my exam and I got a 94%. I shrieked and was leaping up and down waving my paper around like it was the winning lottery ticket. “I GOT A 94 I GOT A 94!!!” Zayn spun me around and hugged me as soon as we pulled away I saw Harry in the doorway.
“Baby I got a 94!!!” I excitedly showed him.
“That’s great Jazz. Good for you.” He gave me a sarcastic smile and thumbs up and turned and walked back towards his car.
“What is your problem?! You have been acting strange ever since I started summer school and I demand to know what it is!”
“You are in no position to be making demands.” He huffed.
“Harry what the hell is going on?!” I grabbed his arm and he pulled away.
“You want to know what my problem is. Want to know what’s going on?” he said through clenched teeth. I gulped and nodded. “What my fucking problem is every time you walk through those damn doors I feel like you’re walking into his arms. I feel like every free second you guys are alone you jump on each other. All I can picture is you down on your knees sucking him off. No one is that friendly with their exes without something going on.” He pulled away from me and I stood there shocked. He was walking back to his car and stopped mid-way. He turned realizing what he had just said and went to take it back.
“Jazz I didn’t mean-”
“We’re done.”
“What?”
“We’re done. Over. Don’t ever speak to me again.” I turned to go and he grabbed for me.
“Jazz put yourself in my shoes how would you feel if me and Rylan were this chummy after we broke up-”
“You were.”
“But me and Rylan never went as far as you and Zayn. You don’t have that mental picture like I do.”
“So you decided to hold my past against me and say you basically think I'm cheating on you? No harry that’s not how this is going to work. We are done.” I turned and walked away.
LINEBREAK
Harry would not stop calling and texting. I ended up shutting my phone off completely. Alex had come over and was listening to me rant about him until I ran out of steam and started crying.
“He was the one person I thought would never hold my past against me.” I choked out through tears. After balling my eyes out for a few minutes I managed to calm down.
“How about I go make us some hot chocolate with extra marshmallows” she said with a smile. I nodded as she tucked me in like a child. I laid there trying to fight off the impending sob that was trying to break through. After a few minutes I heard someone continuously knocking on the door. Alex opened the door and I heard murmuring until finally I heard Harry shout “I need to talk to her Alex, I need to see her.” And the next thing I knew Harry was standing in the doorway.
“Jazz?” I sighed and rolled over to face him. I slowly sat up and wiped my face of any residing tears.
“You’ve been crying.” He said as more of a statement than a question.
“Yup” I went over to the mirror to fix my mess of hair. He stayed really quiet and I got annoyed with it. “What are you doing here Harry?”
“You weren’t answering my calls or texts and I wanted-”
“No shit Sherlock. I wasn’t answering because I didn’t want to talk to you! And at this point I could give less than a fuck about what you want. You’re so fucking selfish! The only thing I wanted was to be left alone and you couldn’t do that could you? Because you felt bad and you had to make it right and get things off your chest. Well I don’t want to hear a word of it. I trust you can see yourself out.”
“Jazz please-”
“What I don’t know what you want me to say! That I forgive you? That we can pretend this never happened? That we can pretend you trust me? That you didn’t accuse me of hooking up with Zayn? That you didn’t make me feel like a whore and a slut? If that’s what you want then I can’t help you.” it got really quiet again. I lay down on my bed facing the wall. I waited to hear him leave but he didn’t. I did hear him slide down the wall and sit on the floor. We were both really still neither of us saying a word. All you could hear was the faint sound of me crying.
Wait I thought to myself that’s way too loud to be only me crying. I turned over slowly to see Harry's face buried in his hands, his shoulders shaking lightly. If you listened closely you could hear a sniffle or a small sob. It wasn’t until I had gotten out of bed and sat next to him that he raised his head. His face was all blotchy and red; his eyes bloodshot, his lip quivering as he tried to hold back his tears.
“I am so sorry.” He choked out before another sob hit him. I didn’t say anything I just stared at him and watched him cry. I was still trying to process what I was seeing. I had never seen him cry before, at least not this hard. Then it hit me. I felt like my heart had just been run over by a train. I made him cry this hard. I was the reason those perfect green eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks stained with tears. Once I realized all this I started crying. He looked up when he heard me burst into hysterics. Next thing I know I was pulled into him and we were crying together. We tried to comfort one another but it sent us both into another wave of hysteria. After about ten minutes of this we finally calmed down. We looked up at each other and had a laugh at each other’s expense.
“You look like a down right mess.” I said to him.
“Oh yah you wouldn’t be laughing if you saw your hair right now.” He poked my bun which had basically fallen out and was barley staying up. We got quiet again and he said “So what now?”
“Well I would be willing to forgive you under ONE condition.”
“Yes anything.”
“You need to promise you will stop holding my past against me and trust me.” I crossed my arms and looked down. He cupped my chin and brought my gaze back up to him and whispered “Done.” And sealed it with a kiss.
“My watch is 10 minutes early so I got here early.” He shrugged. We all got handed exams and were told to get to work. I breezed by mine seeing as all of it was things I had learned years ago and reviewed in the past few days. I got up and went to go give Mary my exam. I waited while she graded it and then saw Zayn come out.
“How did you do?” I asked
“Got an 86%” he shrugged like it was nothing but I knew he was proud. I was about to congratulate him when Mary called me up.
“Well done Jazz.” She handed me my exam and I got a 94%. I shrieked and was leaping up and down waving my paper around like it was the winning lottery ticket. “I GOT A 94 I GOT A 94!!!” Zayn spun me around and hugged me as soon as we pulled away I saw Harry in the doorway.
“Baby I got a 94!!!” I excitedly showed him.
“That’s great Jazz. Good for you.” He gave me a sarcastic smile and thumbs up and turned and walked back towards his car.
“What is your problem?! You have been acting strange ever since I started summer school and I demand to know what it is!”
“You are in no position to be making demands.” He huffed.
“Harry what the hell is going on?!” I grabbed his arm and he pulled away.
“You want to know what my problem is. Want to know what’s going on?” he said through clenched teeth. I gulped and nodded. “What my fucking problem is every time you walk through those damn doors I feel like you’re walking into his arms. I feel like every free second you guys are alone you jump on each other. All I can picture is you down on your knees sucking him off. No one is that friendly with their exes without something going on.” He pulled away from me and I stood there shocked. He was walking back to his car and stopped mid-way. He turned realizing what he had just said and went to take it back.
“Jazz I didn’t mean-”
“We’re done.”
“What?”
“We’re done. Over. Don’t ever speak to me again.” I turned to go and he grabbed for me.
“Jazz put yourself in my shoes how would you feel if me and Rylan were this chummy after we broke up-”
“You were.”
“But me and Rylan never went as far as you and Zayn. You don’t have that mental picture like I do.”
“So you decided to hold my past against me and say you basically think I'm cheating on you? No harry that’s not how this is going to work. We are done.” I turned and walked away.
LINEBREAK
Harry would not stop calling and texting. I ended up shutting my phone off completely. Alex had come over and was listening to me rant about him until I ran out of steam and started crying.
“He was the one person I thought would never hold my past against me.” I choked out through tears. After balling my eyes out for a few minutes I managed to calm down.
“How about I go make us some hot chocolate with extra marshmallows” she said with a smile. I nodded as she tucked me in like a child. I laid there trying to fight off the impending sob that was trying to break through. After a few minutes I heard someone continuously knocking on the door. Alex opened the door and I heard murmuring until finally I heard Harry shout “I need to talk to her Alex, I need to see her.” And the next thing I knew Harry was standing in the doorway.
“Jazz?” I sighed and rolled over to face him. I slowly sat up and wiped my face of any residing tears.
“You’ve been crying.” He said as more of a statement than a question.
“Yup” I went over to the mirror to fix my mess of hair. He stayed really quiet and I got annoyed with it. “What are you doing here Harry?”
“You weren’t answering my calls or texts and I wanted-”
“No shit Sherlock. I wasn’t answering because I didn’t want to talk to you! And at this point I could give less than a fuck about what you want. You’re so fucking selfish! The only thing I wanted was to be left alone and you couldn’t do that could you? Because you felt bad and you had to make it right and get things off your chest. Well I don’t want to hear a word of it. I trust you can see yourself out.”
“Jazz please-”
“What I don’t know what you want me to say! That I forgive you? That we can pretend this never happened? That we can pretend you trust me? That you didn’t accuse me of hooking up with Zayn? That you didn’t make me feel like a whore and a slut? If that’s what you want then I can’t help you.” it got really quiet again. I lay down on my bed facing the wall. I waited to hear him leave but he didn’t. I did hear him slide down the wall and sit on the floor. We were both really still neither of us saying a word. All you could hear was the faint sound of me crying.
Wait I thought to myself that’s way too loud to be only me crying. I turned over slowly to see Harry's face buried in his hands, his shoulders shaking lightly. If you listened closely you could hear a sniffle or a small sob. It wasn’t until I had gotten out of bed and sat next to him that he raised his head. His face was all blotchy and red; his eyes bloodshot, his lip quivering as he tried to hold back his tears.
“I am so sorry.” He choked out before another sob hit him. I didn’t say anything I just stared at him and watched him cry. I was still trying to process what I was seeing. I had never seen him cry before, at least not this hard. Then it hit me. I felt like my heart had just been run over by a train. I made him cry this hard. I was the reason those perfect green eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks stained with tears. Once I realized all this I started crying. He looked up when he heard me burst into hysterics. Next thing I know I was pulled into him and we were crying together. We tried to comfort one another but it sent us both into another wave of hysteria. After about ten minutes of this we finally calmed down. We looked up at each other and had a laugh at each other’s expense.
“You look like a down right mess.” I said to him.
“Oh yah you wouldn’t be laughing if you saw your hair right now.” He poked my bun which had basically fallen out and was barley staying up. We got quiet again and he said “So what now?”
“Well I would be willing to forgive you under ONE condition.”
“Yes anything.”
“You need to promise you will stop holding my past against me and trust me.” I crossed my arms and looked down. He cupped my chin and brought my gaze back up to him and whispered “Done.” And sealed it with a kiss.
7/11/13