Little Things
Realize
So I spent the rest of the week avoiding Harry. I couldn’t bare o even hear his name at this point. He even tried to call me get a hold of me somehow but I didn’t want to talk to him. He even thought that it would make things better to tell me he wanted to ask me out on New Year’s but was still trying to figure things out. I was so mad at him. How could he bring up all these feelings then just toss them aside. He brought all this up I was perfectly fine staying just friends. Why did he have to bring all these feelings back again? I hate that I feel this way. But what I hate more is over all is that I still miss him.
So to cheer me up because they know it’s my favorite thing to in the winter, the girls are taking me ice skating. Little did in know they invited some of the boys.
So I'm not quite sure what's going on with Alex and Louis but ever since he got back they have been attached at the hip so I can see why he is here. And I'm guessing Niall finally got Rylan to talk to him because he is here. But my question is why did they invite Zayn. And as if she can read my mind Alex whispers “so it wouldn’t seem like we were coupling up and you were the odd one out.” She smiled and walked to the skate counter with Louis to pick up our skates. I have to admit they make the cutest couple.
Zayn walked over to me and sat next to me on the bench. As the skates were passed around everyone got into their own conversations. As Zayn was helping me lace up my shoes he asked how I was doing.
“Eh been better, been worse.”
“Just rolling with the punches?” He shot a few air punches towards me.
“Always.” I say giggling.
“Ah Ah see that I got a giggle.” He said making me full on laugh. No matter what happens I can always count on Zayn to cheer me up.
So we made our way to the ice and as Zayn very chivalrously tried to help me on, I just stepped on and skated by him. He shrugged and followed me. Everyone sort of pairs off once their skates hit the ice. Alex was clinging to Louis for dear life which he really didn’t seem to mind. While on the contrary Niall was clinging to Rylan scared to death he would fall. It was definitely a sight to see.
“You know he really misses you right? He begged us to let him come tonight so he could see you, talk to you but we knew if you saw him you would turn around and leave without a word.”
“I would.” I said watching my feet glide gracefully on the ice.
“He doesn’t understand why you’re so angry with him”
“Cuz he messed with my feelings again! And he thought it would fix everything if he told me about how he almost asked me out on New Year’s Eve. You know how worse that made everything? Too know I was this close to finally being with him after having this heart breaking crush on him for a year. I mean I know I'm lucky to even e his friend of even be considered an option because he can have girls across the globe if he wants but it just isn’t enough to keep being the girl who always loved him but never had the that love returned.” I said all in one breathe.
“Try to see it from his side-”
“I don’t know what his side is Zayn that’s the problem I can never tell when he is thinking or-”
“You know what his side is? You know what he is thinking? He doesn’t want to hurt you. He doesn’t want to go into a relationship with you when your all in and he’s only half there. He’s you best friend, been your best friend for almost 2 years, and he would never try to intentionally hurt you hats why you aren’t together yet. If you two stated dating and he ended up breaking your heart worse before and you he lost you for good he would never be able to forgive himself. That’s why he is so so sooo desperate to talk to you. It’s killing him to think he might have actually lost you this time. Just remember that next time he reaches out to you.”
“I’ll try.” But in reality I felt terrible. I knew Zayn was right I just never saw it like that. I just wanted to be mad at him. Cuz I know I would rather be mad then face the truth. That Harry, as my best friend, in his own weird way, is protecting me. He is protecting me from him, no matter how much I hate it.
So to cheer me up because they know it’s my favorite thing to in the winter, the girls are taking me ice skating. Little did in know they invited some of the boys.
So I'm not quite sure what's going on with Alex and Louis but ever since he got back they have been attached at the hip so I can see why he is here. And I'm guessing Niall finally got Rylan to talk to him because he is here. But my question is why did they invite Zayn. And as if she can read my mind Alex whispers “so it wouldn’t seem like we were coupling up and you were the odd one out.” She smiled and walked to the skate counter with Louis to pick up our skates. I have to admit they make the cutest couple.
Zayn walked over to me and sat next to me on the bench. As the skates were passed around everyone got into their own conversations. As Zayn was helping me lace up my shoes he asked how I was doing.
“Eh been better, been worse.”
“Just rolling with the punches?” He shot a few air punches towards me.
“Always.” I say giggling.
“Ah Ah see that I got a giggle.” He said making me full on laugh. No matter what happens I can always count on Zayn to cheer me up.
So we made our way to the ice and as Zayn very chivalrously tried to help me on, I just stepped on and skated by him. He shrugged and followed me. Everyone sort of pairs off once their skates hit the ice. Alex was clinging to Louis for dear life which he really didn’t seem to mind. While on the contrary Niall was clinging to Rylan scared to death he would fall. It was definitely a sight to see.
“You know he really misses you right? He begged us to let him come tonight so he could see you, talk to you but we knew if you saw him you would turn around and leave without a word.”
“I would.” I said watching my feet glide gracefully on the ice.
“He doesn’t understand why you’re so angry with him”
“Cuz he messed with my feelings again! And he thought it would fix everything if he told me about how he almost asked me out on New Year’s Eve. You know how worse that made everything? Too know I was this close to finally being with him after having this heart breaking crush on him for a year. I mean I know I'm lucky to even e his friend of even be considered an option because he can have girls across the globe if he wants but it just isn’t enough to keep being the girl who always loved him but never had the that love returned.” I said all in one breathe.
“Try to see it from his side-”
“I don’t know what his side is Zayn that’s the problem I can never tell when he is thinking or-”
“You know what his side is? You know what he is thinking? He doesn’t want to hurt you. He doesn’t want to go into a relationship with you when your all in and he’s only half there. He’s you best friend, been your best friend for almost 2 years, and he would never try to intentionally hurt you hats why you aren’t together yet. If you two stated dating and he ended up breaking your heart worse before and you he lost you for good he would never be able to forgive himself. That’s why he is so so sooo desperate to talk to you. It’s killing him to think he might have actually lost you this time. Just remember that next time he reaches out to you.”
“I’ll try.” But in reality I felt terrible. I knew Zayn was right I just never saw it like that. I just wanted to be mad at him. Cuz I know I would rather be mad then face the truth. That Harry, as my best friend, in his own weird way, is protecting me. He is protecting me from him, no matter how much I hate it.
7/11/13