Falling for Harry Styles

The scene of the club had become all too familiar since I’ve been living with Harry. We had all made this our weekly get together spot and sometimes we were here multiple times a week. Louis didn’t feel well so Eleanor stayed back with him, Niall was at the bar chatting up some blonde, Harry was MIA, and Perrie and I were on the dance floor with Liam and Zayn.
Perrie and I were dancing side by side with the boys in front of us, Zayn barely moving and Liam being a goof about it all. I couldn’t help but laugh at all the faces he made while doing a disco dance move. Sober Liam is much more fun than drunk Liam.
Perrie moved closer to Zayn, placing her hands on the sides of his face and leaning her forehead in to meet his, with their noses touching. His hands connected to her hips and they swayed to the music, looking too caught up in their own world to notice anything around them. My eyes fixed on them for a couple moments and Liam leaned in to whisper in my ear, “Makes you a little jealous huh? Just watching them be so in love.”
I nodded in response, “It’s really beautiful.” I smiled at them and noticed Harry pull Liam back to say something to him. I glanced behind Harry to see a blue-eyed red-head with him. My eyes traveled down their arms, rather close together, to find her small hand engulfed in Harry’s.
A tinge of jealousy rose in me as I watched the chocolate quiff disappear in the crowd, heading for the exit. I grabbed Liam’s arm and pulled him in so I could ask him, “What was that about?”
“Oh Harry wanted me to make sure you got home alright. He’s going to grab coffee with that girl.” My face twisted in disgust and I was happy Liam couldn’t see it.
A little bit of every negative emotion you could think of, anger, hatred, annoyance, jealousy, envy, all erupted in me at once and my sense of good judgment left me. I latched my hands around the back of Liam’s neck and I started dancing roughly with him. He stood still as a statue as his face held a look of shock until I smirked at him and he smiled, large hands grasping my hips. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Perrie lean in and whisper something to Zayn before she grabbed his hand and pulled him off the dance floor.
As we danced, the negative feelings started to ebb away and be replaced with something I couldn’t quite name and my good judgment returned, making me feel like a complete bitch for using Liam; I needed another drink. “Hey, I’m gonna go get another drink. I’ll be back.”
“I’m actually gonna go visit the loo. I’ll meet you over there.” I nodded as we went in opposite directions.
I pushed through the crowd and soon scooped up a seat at the bar. “What can I get for you Beautiful?” asked the smirking guy behind the counter.
“Shot of vodka.” I said flatly.
“Just vodka?”
“Yes,” I bit back, “Actually make it two.”
“You got it sweetheart. There you go. I gotta say it’s mighty impressive that you drink vodka straight like that; a small little thing like you.”
“So I’ve been told,” I rolled my eyes as I snapped back one shot, with the other following shortly after.
I felt a body close, firm grip on my upper arm, and hot breath on my ear as a harsh voice spoke, “What are you doing?”
I turned to the speaker with an incredulous look on my face to find Niall, eyes alight with anger. “Drinking?”
“No, with Liam,” he growled.
“Dancing,” I widened my eyes as if to say “duh”.
“Why?”
I hesitated a moment, as annoyance filled me, and snapped back, “Because I’m enjoying myself, in the company of my friend.”
“You’re playing him!” he spoke harshly and lightly squeezed my arm.
I scoffed, “I am not!”
“C’mon Natalie!” he chastised me. “You know he has feelings for you and you’re dancing all over him, like he means something to you when you feel the complete opposite about him. I know you’re a little jealous right now, but that doesn’t mean you can take it out on Liam.”
My jaw dropped at his last words and I glared at him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I played dumb, refusing to actually admit I was jealous. “Liam knows it didn’t mean anything and that we’re just friends.” I glanced over his shoulder to see Liam returning.
He released my arm, took a step back, and raised his eyebrows as he said, “You sure ‘bout that?”
I stared at him, eyes squinted in annoyance with my mouth a thin line, as Liam came up beside us. He looked between my and Niall’s expressions, which hadn’t changed much, and asked, “Everything alright here?”
“Yeah, everything is peachy,” I flashed a fake smile at Niall as I leaned into Liam. “But, can you take me home now? I’m kinda worn out.”
He smiled, “Of course.”
He held onto me as he pushed through the bodies to the door. I breathed deeply as the cool, crisp night air hit me. I shivered slightly as my sleeveless shirt provided little warmth to my torso, so used to the warmth of all the bodies from the club. “You cold, Love?”
“No,” I tried to lie as another shiver passed through me.
He chuckled under his breath as he moved closer to me, putting his arm around me and rubbing his hands up and down my arm fast in an effort to warm me with the friction. I smiled as we meandered up the drive of mine and Harry’s flat. I turned too him as we stepped up onto the porch. “Thanks for walking me home Li.” I stood up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Anything for you Love.” He smiled down at me and I smiled back at him.
We watched each other a few seconds before Liam chanced leaning in slightly. I contemplated in my mind a few brief seconds before I leaned in towards him, rising onto my tiptoes again. Our lips grazed together lightly before Liam put more force into it, pressing his to mine and grabbing onto my hips. It was okay, he’s a good kisser, but there was no spark for me. It had only been about a minute since I decided to go through with the kiss and I already regretted the decision.
I put my hand up and slightly pushed Liam’s chest as I sank down on my heels, “Li. I- I can’t.”
“Can’t what? What do you mean?” his face was twisted with confusion and I couldn’t look into his chocolate, concern ridden eyes.
“I can’t do this to you. I don’t… I don’t feel for you. We’re just friends and I can’t lead you on like this. I- I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” I chanced a look at his face and found a mix of realization and hurt on it. “Well, that’s quite alright Natalie.” His expression was slowly shifting into one of annoyance, with a hint of anger. “I should know better anyway. You can’t possibly have feelings for another person; not when you’re completely in love with someone else.”
I pursed my lips and held back tiny tears as his anger hurt me a little, but I knew I deserved it. “I’m sorry Li.”
“Yeah, I am too.”He huffed out as he turned and walked back in the direction we came.
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding as my eyes trailed his quickly retreating figure. I turned and opened the door, nearly running up to my room and changing quickly. I threw myself onto my bed and begged for sleep as the events of tonight flooded threw my mind again. People say you are the most defensive about the things you know are true about you; I hated feeling jealous and being drunk on jealousy is a dangerous thing. It causes you to hurt people close to you and that’s never good.

Notes