Crystalised

Jenna's POV

I woke up at 10am. It was pretty early. I was just so hungry. I went downstairs and there he was, Harry, laughing with my mom and Leena.

"Oh hey darling." Said my mom. Harry smiled. I smiled also, but it was more of a fake smile. I took food from the fridge and made myself a sandwich. I motioned Harry with my head towards the stairs, so he would come upstairs. He followed me, and we didn't talk on the way.

We finally went into my room. I opened my lap top and laid on the bed eating my sandwich. He was looking through my shelves and he was touching every book, and smelling every perfume and played with all the stuffed animals. I had four. A panda, a zebra, a penguin and a tiger. He laughed quietly at them. I noticed and smiled. This went on for few minutes.

"I didn't want to wake you…" He said. I pretended to ignore him. "So I…I waited downstairs." He said. It was the silence. It was making him talk. I enjoyed it actually. I wasn't hearing his stupid apology, it felt like nothing was wrong. Why ruin it?

I kept eating my sandwich and scrolled on my dashboard on tumblr. I got carried away, almost forgetting he was here.

"Is this you?" He asked pointing to a picture. I didn't even look at him. He started laughing " Baby Jen" He said, and laughed again. It was a picture of me when I was about 5, I was on a tree with all my dolls. There was only one Barbie and all the others were action figures from Star Wars and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was in love with them. "Why is your hair blonde here?" He asked another question. I answered it in my mind 'Because I use to have lighter hair when I was little. It became darker as I grew.' He continued to touch my stuff, and not just on the shelves. He started to look around my work desk. My drawings, pictures, school books, notebooks, pens, pencils, markers EVERYTHING.

"What are you doing?" I asked sounding annoyed. He turned around, looking pleased that I spoke to him.

"Touching everything." I just rolled my eyes, and looked at my screen again.

"So…" he said, and I released a loud you-are-annoying-me sigh "Look…" He said, starting his speech.

"Here we go" I said quietly to myself, but he heard it.

"What?" he said rhetorically. "I came to apologize-" I cut him of.

"So why don't you get it over with, and leave?" I said quickly. I can't look at him. I just realized how angry I am with him. He is a jerk, I was blinded.

"I can see you are still angry…" He said.

"You think?" I asked rhetorically. We were quiet again after that. Few minutes. I wasn't on tumblr, I was picking my nails. He was leaning on the desk in front of my bed.

"Sorry" He said. But I, for some reason, didn't take it as an apology. It wet through me. But no, not like something meaningless, but like a dagger. It made a hole.

"And that's suppose to make everything better?" I asked with a sassy voice.

"I don't know what else to say." He said, looking at his feet.

"Harry, you can't even look me in the eye and say that. You expect-" I said, and stopped myself. My throat was boycotting me. I tried to say something, but my mouth was just moving and no words were coming out. "You should leave" I finally said, quietly.

"I can't leave." He said, and sat next to me. I sat straight and he put his arm around my waist. "Not like this." he added, and put a kiss in my hair. That kiss triggered a tear. It fell, and I quickly whipped it. His other hand moved through my left arm, up and down. It hit some of the bruises. My face crinkled. The hurter. "What?" He asked. I didn't answer. Another tear fell from my eye. He looked at the arm and got my sleeve up. His eyes went wide and I quickly rolled the sleeve down. "Did I…" I nodded, I could barely control the tears.

"Just please leave." I said quietly, and went on the other side of the bed, and finally got up and opened the door for him.

"Jen…" He said. His eyes were with tears also.

"Just…please." I said, raising my voice. I didn't even look at him, just looked at the ground. He walked to me and closed the door.

"I'm not leaving. I don't get it…" He said then.

"You don't get what, Harry? What could you possibly not understand?!" I said. I finally pushed the sadness back, now I was just running on anger.

"Well, I know it wasn't true. I don't know how to apologize because…I did nothing wrong." This was the culmination. This I could not just let it go.

"What?! Could you repeat that sentence and make it NOT sound stupid!?" I was going out of control.

"I'm sorry ok? I'm sorry I hurt you, and not just your arm. I thought that Britney was telling the truth-" I cut him off. He really didn't understand?

"Oh you are sorry? Really? Well, that makes everything better!" I said.

"Don't shout…please" He said, managing to talk in a normal tone.

"How can I not. Ether you are playing stupid or you are that dumb!" I said.

"Really? Insulting is the next step?" He was also starting to lose it.

"Insulting? Oh, we are so past that! You are just so…UGH!" I couldn't find words to describe.

"I am so what? Come on, don't let me stop you finishing that sentence!" He said, getting closer to me. I started walking around the room.

"You just think, you think you are always right. Like 'Oh look at me, I'm Harry Styles, could I be any more hot?'. And your ego, don't let me get started. You think just because you are in a famous boy band you can do whatever you want." I lost my breath and took a moment, and then continued "And then you and I happen, and you are like 'Oh my god, this little girl is ill…found my charity!' and act all…irresistible on me" I started to really lose it, and tears filed my eyes. My voice changed "And I fall for you, and you just do THIS and you know what? I feal sorry for YOU! You have no privacy, you have no real friends and you can't know if a girl loves you because you are Harry Styles, or because you are this…perfect person, that is good…and kind. And good luck finding someone like me who truly loved you. You don't deserve me-" He cut me off. Not with words, no. With a kiss. This kiss made all of it go away. It was still perfect.

"You are right" He said quietly, when the kiss broke as our foreheads were leaning on each other. "You are too good for me" He said. I thought he would say something back. Something like…I don't know. That I am wrong, for starter.

"Don't do this." I said, focusing my eyes on his lips. "Don't think that a kiss makes everything better." Wrong. It did make everything better. But it was back as soon as the kiss broke.

"I love you Jen. And It doesn't even cross my mind that I could find someone else like you…" He said. Why is he doing this? I am so mad, but every word he says makes all the anger, all the pain go away. I think he knew that, I think he was doing this on purpose.

"I can't do this anymore Harry." I said quietly.

"No" He said, knowing where this is going.

"I think…-" He cut me off.

"Don't, please." He said. I pulled away from his forehead, and looked into his eyes. They were shining because of the tears. Like crystals. Two green crystals.

"We're done." I said quietly. He closed his eyes. Tears were falling from them. I think he tried to stop them, but it didn't work.

"Please, Jen…" He said, as he looked into mine.

"Don't make this hard Harry." I said quietly. He shook his head, in denial of the whole situation.

"It's not done, Jen. It's not…please." He said again. It was breaking me too.

"I'm sorry." I said and went into my bathroom. I locked the door, and sat on the tiles with my back against the door. I started to cry. My face was in my palms, I was shaking. I felt so empty and I didn't know why I did this. Why did I end it with him? So what if he felt sorry for me? I actually AM a sad case. I am this broken girl who is so annoying with her problems, bipolar, and depressed and fucked up and GOD i didn't want to exist.

"Jen, please." I heard Harry through the door. "Open the door, please Jen." He said quietly again.

Harry's POV

"Jen, please" I said, resting my head on the door. "Open the door, please Jen" I said again. I tried to turn the doorknob but it was locked. I sat on the ground with my back to the door. Leena came in the room and whispered.

"What's going on." I looked at her. I had no expression on my face, just the tears. They were falling. "Harry?" She said, panicking a little.

I stood up, and shook my head. My face crinkled. I bit my lips and walked out of the door. I heard Leena knocking on Jen's door, but she wouldn't open. I went downstairs and got out of there as soon as I can. I got into my car. I sat in it 10 minutes. I didn't notice that time was passing. I sad Leena, run out of the house. She got into the car as well.

"You ok?" She asked me. I didn't answer, just shook my head. "I will talk to her when she get's better…" She said. But I knew there was no use. She was stubborn. "It's not over, until I say it is, god damn it!" Said Leena. I laughed a little and so did she. "Look, you know how she gets…all dramatic and bipolar at times." She said, and laughed trying to make me laugh and comfort me.

"Yeah, but that was before she got better…" I said.

"Well, what if she's bad again?" Said, Leena and she changed completely. "Oh my god Harry. She's bad again." She said. I started panicking on the inside.

"What do you mean?" I said. I really didn't even want to think what would happen if she's bad again.

"Oh god, it's my fault!" Said Leena.

"What? Leena, tell me please!" I said, getting a bit inpatient.

"I rushed her that day, the party day. I rushed her in the morning and she didn't take the pill. Then she slept over at Lucy's, she didn't take the pill that morning. And this morning, well she woke up and talked to you, I don't think she took it…She's bad Harry!" Leena said, and ran out of the car. I ran after her. We got into her room and she was sitting on her bed with what it seemed 3000 pills around her and a glass of water. She looked surprised when we walked in, and startled.

"Jen, don't!" Shouted Leena, and threw all the pills on the floor. "Did you take your medicine this morning?" she asked her, and Jen shook her hand, looking right through the bed, like she could see what's under it while sitting on it. "What about yesterday, or the day before that?" Leena asked her again, and Jen shook her head. I just stood by the door not knowing what to. "Harry, go in the bathroom, there is a orange little box with pills on the counter by the sink, get me one." I did as she told me. She gave Jen the pill and she took it.

"It will make her better?" I asked, hoping that it will.

"Yeah, she just needs to rest." She said, and put her under the covers. She was like a doll, Jen. Leena could make her jump out of the window if she wanted to. I then helped her pick up all the pills form the ground, and we left her to rest. She fell asleep while we were in the room.

"Is she going to be ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, don't worry. " Said Leena, she was relieved and that made me calm.

"Oh, I wish I could stay" I said, hopeless.

"Why don't you? I'm suppose to pick up my aunt from the airport. She's coming to spend Christmas with us." She said.

"I can't. I have to go home…But, call me when she wakes up, ok? And don't let her out of your sight." I said. She walked me to the door, and I left.

It was going to be hard these next few days. I really wanted to be by her side through this, but I couldn't.

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