Crystalised

Harry's POV

"What" I said in disbelieve. I mean…bipolar?

"I had a friend back in high school, she was bipolar…she acted similar to Jenna" Said Lou. He told me about his friend. She didn't knew she was bipolar until something triggered it. I was really tired, so Lou left, and I couldn't sleep. I finally fell asleep at 5am.

***

In the morning I was awoken by the ring of my phone. It was Niall. We made plans today. But they ended up me talking about Jenna the whole time. He was cool with it. I wanted to call Jenna, but I didn't know what to say. But I called her anyway.

"Hi." She said in a cold serious voice. I guess she was still mad at me.

"Are you ok?" I asked. There was no point asking what's wrong, when I knew it was me.

"No…" She said and started crying. I immediately went over at her house. She didn't go to school, she was just lying in her bed.

"Hey" I said as I walked in. She was crying her eyes out. I've never seen her cry like this. I've seen her shed few tears when she talks about her family problems, but not like this… "Are you ok? What's wrong?" I said, as I sat on the bed, and whipped few tears off of her face.

"I don't know" She said, crying "You should leave" She said, as she sat straight.

"I'm not leaving you, Jen" I said and pulled her in a hug "I'm here, it's ok" I said, and laid a kiss on her head.

I laid next to her, and she rested her head on my chest. We were like that for more than half an hour. Neither of us spoke.

"Do you want some tea?" I suggested her after a while.

"K.." She said. I got up, and she just hugged the pillow like she was hugging me.

When I went downstairs, Leena was coming in.

"Oh, hey Harry" She said, as she was getting her coat off "Is Jen feeling any better?" She asked

"Can we talk in the kitchen?" I asked and we walked to the kitchen. While the kettle was heating I started talking

"Does Jen have any…ill relatives" I asked. I didn't know how to form my question. She just looked at me confused "Ill like…in the head" I said.

"Like mentally sick?" She rephrased my question.

"Yeah" I said a little nervous.

"Well I don't know…why are you asking?" She asked, she was really confused.

"Nobody?" I asked.

"We'll her cousin Sarah had something, but I don't think it was something serious…WHY?! Do you think Jen has some kind of mental illness?!" She asked panicking

"Keep your voice down" I said. I didn't want Jen to hear "What did this cousin of hers had?" I asked.

"I don't know what it was called. Something 'bi', I don't know"

"She was bipolar?" I asked, hoping she would say no.

"Yeah yeah, that. What is that? Do you think she has it?!" She asked.

"I don't know. It's an illness affecting the mood. A person with bipolarism has 'episodes'. They go from happy, hyperactive to depressed and angry very quickly. But something has to trigger it…It does't appear out of nowhere…" I explained.

"So, you think I'm bipolar now?!" I heard Jen's voice. It was angry. She overheard the conversation. "You seriously think, I am that messed up!?" She started to shout. I didn't know what to say. I was just concerned.

"Jen, is that what your cousin Sarah had?!" Asked Leena, she tried to change the subject.

"What does that have to do with anything?! You both think I am BIPOLAR! Get the fuck out, Harry!" She shouted really loud. I wasn't going to go, but she threw a glass at me, screaming "LEAVE!"

"Harry, please" Said Leena, with desperation in her voice. I got out of there in a hurry, from the back door. I was so worried, but I couldn't stay…

Leena's POV

"And you!" She turned to me. I was scared, but not for me. I was scared for her. "How can you do this?!"

"Do what? I didn't do anything, Jen." I said. I really didn't do anything.

"You believed him! You think I'm bipolar?! Do you?!" She was coming closer to me. Now I felt scared for me.

"Look, I don't think you are bipolar. I just…I'm worried about you-" I said, but she cut me off

"I don't need you worrying about me. I can take care of myself!" She shouted. Then she turned away, and she was going for the stairs.

"Oh come on Jen. Don't be like this. You are a totally different person this past few days…"

"Oh, like how?!" She turned and shouted again. "I am NORMAL?! I have FRIENDS?! Is that the unusual activity that makes me bipolar?!" She was shouting. I didn't know how to explain it to her, she would just shout. And she hasn't noticed, but I have…

"Please, Jen…just listen" I said, but she was already locked in her room. I was shaking. Harry walked in again. He didn't really leaved like Jen demand. I started to cry and Harry hugged me.

"You see what I mean?" Harry said quietly "She is not herself" I nodded. After that I asked him to leave, and he did.

I was sitting in the living room, when mom came in.

"Mom, we need to talk" I said to her, when she walked in "It's about Jenna."

Jenna's POV

I was in my room very long, I lost track of time. I was just sitting on my window-bench and looking out the window. They made me want to die. Literally. I finally got my life on track, and they just had to ruin it. I was never going to forgive Harry for this. Ever. How can he say that I'm bipolar. I have a lot on my plate. I was just sitting there like a zombie. I saw my mom from the window, she was back from work.

I laid in bed, so she would think that I am still not feeling better. I actually was never feeling sick, like I told her. I just wanted a day off from the world, and this is what happened. I thought I finally was happy with Harry. I guess I wasn't. I took out my diary, and started to write.

"Dear Diary

Do I really don't deserve a drop of happiness in my life? Am I that unlucky? I guess nobody cares about me. I mean, Harry just hurts me. Leena hates me. Lexi is out to get me. I don't have a family. I have nothing. I am a part of nothing. I just wish I was dead. Like, gone, forever. So that way, everyone would be happy."

I stopped writing. I've always thought about death, but not like this. Not like I wanted to join it. But I've never been more sure. Life isn't a gift, like everyone says, life is a nice box with tarantulas in it. And, I don't like spiders. I got out of bed, since my mom didn't bother to check up on me, I figured she doesn't even care. I got in the bathroom in my room. I guess, that's the only thing I will miss, my own bathroom. I didn't know how to end my life.

Pills. I guess, that's a good way to end my life. Better than cutting, anyway. Cutting hurts. Plus, there's blood, and that's one more thing I can't stand.

I got out of my room, since i couldn't find any pills in my room. When I got downstairs, mom and Leena were in the living room.

"Do we have any pills? My head is killing me…" I lied. I didn't want to hear their questions. Mom told me where they were. I could feel how happy they were, knowing what I'm about to do. I got sleeping pills, almost a handful and went upstairs. I sat on my bed, and wrote in my diary for the last time

"…Well, this is the end my friend. You were here, when nobody was, so thank you. I guess It's time to see my dad, now." I got up from the bed, and went in the bathroom. I started drinking the pills. One by one. I lost count after the fourth. I don't know how many I drank. So I was waiting for them to start acting, so I sat to write in my diary, until the end.

"…Wow, I feel like Veronica now. This is boring, waiting for dearth to come. If anyone reads this, please write a note on my grave, from 1 to 10, how happy this made you?" As i wrote the question mark, i lost control of my body. I felt it shaking, I fell on the floor. At first it hurt, but then my body went numb, and everything faded to black.

Harry's POV

I was sitting in my backyard at home thinking about Jenna. How could this happen to her?! She had enough for a lifetime. She is just 16. I was really scared of what could happen. Of what she was capable of. And my phone rang

"Hello?" I answered. It was Leena.

"HARRY!" She shouted, she was crying "It's Jen….Harry…" She couldn't speak, she was crying too much. I heard someone in the back say 'My daughter overdosed, please..'

"WHAT HAPPENED!? LEENA?!" I panicked.

"Harry, she is dead !" Finally Leena said.

I immediately got up, and Leena told me to come to the hospital, because the ambulance came and they took her there.

"Where is she? Can I see her?!" I said as I was running towards Leena. Her mom was talking to someone on the phone.

"They are detoxicating her entire body…Harry, she tried to kill herself" Leena was shaking, and I hugged her. She told me that she told her mother about what was going on, and Jenna got downstairs and asked for pills for her head. And after few minutes, they heard a crash on the floor. They both ran upstairs, and she was there, on the floor, shaking and foam coming out of her mouth. They immediately called help, and after Leena called me. After she told me, we were waiting for the doctor to inform us.

"What is going on" Said Leena, impatiently.

"I have no idea. How come no one noticed this behavior…" Said her mom, Ana. She was trying to be calm, but you could hear the panic in her voice.

"Was her cousin Sarah bipolar?" I asked. I wanted to know.

"Yes, she was. Do you think she is?" She asked and then she had an awful expression on her face "Oh, my god. She is bipolar. It makes so much sense…But how…"

"No one knew she was depressed, mom" Said Leena "She kept a diary, and she wrote there. She didn't tell anyone…well anyone except Harry"

"What did she tell you? What diary?" Her mom was confused.

"Well, she was with me the night she got drunk, when you first came to London" I said. She was surprised "I helped her that night, because she was lost, and I felt sorry. And we have been hanging out ever since." She had a sign of relief on her face. So I continued "And she told me the next night, about her dad." Her mom's eyes filled with tears. "And yesterday, I accidentally read the last page of her diary. I didn't know it was a diary until I read it."

"What did it say?" She asked. So I answered her.

"Well she was writing about being angry, and depressed, and then the last sentence was 'Life is good'. But it wasn't sarcastic…"

"Where is this diary?!" Her mom asked.

"I don't know where she keeps it. It's a blue notebook, with birds on the cover."

"There was a notebook with birds on the cover on her bed!" Said Leena.

"Could you please bring it?" Said Ana. So me and Leena went back to her house to get the notebook.

When we drove up to the house, outside were her three friends.

"Oh no" Said Leena "It's Britney, Chelsea and Lucy. You can stay in the car if you want to?" She offered.

"I don't care about that right now Leena. Jen's life is at stake" I said, and got out of the car. She got out of it too. The three girls eyes went right on me. They were a little shocked, but I really didn't care.

"Wha…what?" The blond girl said.

"Not now, guys" Said Leena, as she was unlocking and we both got in.

"Wait, are you and Harry going out?" Said another girl. I think she is Lucy.

I didn't hear the rest of the conversation, I got upstairs, and took the notebook that was on her bed. It was her diary. I immediately got down, and got out of the house, to my car.

"Ok, I really have to go. Jen will explain some other time… hopefully" I heard Leena say, and she got in the car. And we drove away, leaving the three girls with open jaws.

We got back to the hotel, where Ana was sitting. This time there were two men sitting with her. One was holding her hand, I guess that's Rob. And the other one was talking to them.

"Hey, here it is" Said Leena. "Dad, this is Harry, Harry-dad"

"Nice to meet you" I said, as I shook his hand.

"You can call me Rob." He said, and forcibly smiled.

"This is Doctor Chinn. He is a specialist in psychological disorders. He can have a read of her diary, and maybe tell us what brought this up." Said Ana.

"Hello" He said and shook our hands. Leena handed him the diary.

"I will read this, and will get back to you." He said, and went in a room.

"So? Where is she?!" I asked, hoping for good news.

"They almost fully detoxicated her. There won't be any permanent damages, thank God." Said Rob.

We waited impatiently for half an hour. Me and Leena went to the cafeteria. We talked about Jenna. I told her that tomorrow was suppose to be special. That I wanted to tell her something. We both felt so useless. When we got back, we could see Jen, but she was sleeping. We went two at a time. Rob and Ana went first. And then me and Leena went into the room. She was lying in the bed. Her eyes were closed. I sat on the chair next to the bed, and held her hand in mine. My eyes filled with tears. Leena left after few minutes.

"It's me and you, Jen" I said, through my tears. "I'm her for you"

Leena's POV

I got out of the room. I felt like Harry needed to be alone with her. When I got out, doctor Chinn was talking to my parents. I went over, to listen to the conversation.

"…So basically she is likely to have bipolar disorder I. She never really had a manic because she never let her feelings out. And, she writes, she opened up, and it was triggered. Does anyone from your family have it?" He said.

"Well, my previous husband brother's daughter has it. Their father had it too. It's genetic?" She asked.

"It looks like it. But you have nothing to worry about, all she needs is the right medication and treatment, and she will be back to normal." He said. Then he opened the diary to the last page "However, I have one more question"

"What might that be?" Rob asked.

"Who is Veronica?" He asked. "She mentions her only once, in her last statement."

"I don't know… why, what does she say about her?" Mom asked.

"Well, apparently, she has had bipolar disorder or killed herself with pills." He said. It was familiar.

"I don't know. I know she has three new friends, Britney, Lucy and Chelsea, and she had one more, Lexi. But she is not friends with her anymore…I think."

"VERONICA!" I shouted. They all turned to me "You know? Veronica from 'Veronica decides to die'? She tried to kill herself with pills, but she didn't succeed, so she was in a mental hospital and fell in love with a schizophrenic guy."

"Oh yeah, she read that book more than I can count." mom said. It was Jen's favorite book.

"Well it is apparent that the idea with the pills came from that book." He then suggested a place where to take Jenna so she can get a diagnosis. It was a very stressful day.

Mom went home to get some things for Jenna, like clothes. And when she came back, Lucy was with her.

"Now is not the time for fin-girling Lucy" I said.

"Your mom just told me what's going on. Britney and Chelsea went home. I don't care about Harry, is Jen going to be ok?" She said. I was a little surprised.

"Yeah. Sort of." I said. Harry was coming out of the room where Jen was in. Lucy acted like he didn't even exist.

"Is she over there? Can I see her?" She said.

"Yeah, but she's sleeping, so she doesn't do much." I said, joking. I had to get rid of the panicking, depressive atmosphere. Harry got my point, and laughed. So Lucy just sat with us. She was asking what's going on. We just told her that she overdosed and we didn't know why. Mom went home to rest, and Rob had to go back to work. So it was just me Lucy and Harry.

We were talking, when a doctor came to us.

"She is awake." He said.

We all went inside.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. She didn't speak. She just stared at us. Her eyes were full of tears.

"You will be fine, baby" Said Harry, and smirked.

"I'm not a baby" She said, and she smiled. He sat next to her, and kissed her forehead.

"You are my baby" He said.

We were sitting with her. She was normal. She didn't fight with anything we said, and we were careful not to say anything that will upset her. She demand to go home tonight, and at about midnight her mom came and signed for her release. We took Lucy home, and went to our house. Harry came too.

Me Harry and her sat on the bed, and we put on Journey 2: The mysterious island. She was too tired, and fell asleep. We got out of her room.

"What a day.." He said.

"Yeah…tell me about it." I said. "Are you going to take her to your second official date tomorrow?" I asked.

"You think it's a good idea?" I asked.

"Yes. it's perfect. You will take her mind off of things." He agreed and then left. When he left, Jen came out of her room

"Leena, can you come for a second?" She called for me. I immediately went to her room.

"What's up?" I said, smiling.

"What is wrong with me?" She asked. I didn't want to be the one who would tell her this "And please, don't lie. I can take it." I just stood there, looking at her. I couldn't say it "I'm bipolar, right? Harry was right, right?" She said. But she didn't seem upset.

"I'm so sorry" I said, and hugged her.

"It's ok. I didn't want to believe it. That's why I acted that way yesterday…" She said.

"Don't make excuses. You had a pretty good damn reason" I said and smiled. She smiled and went to sleep.

With that, the terrible day ended.

Notes