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Crystalised

Running up that hill

Jenna's POV

The next day, after school we went to my house to get ready for the concert. They made a big deal out of it, so I just went along. They brought a whole bag with clothes. My room was decorated, finally. It had a big king bed. A walk in closet, and a little bench within the window. You know? Like in the movies where they sit with lots of pillows and always cry while it's raining. I've always wanted one. I had a Tv. A bookshelf with all my favorite books. We started picking out our clothes. I had to tell them that I have backstage passes. How am I suppose to tell them!?

"So, listen." I started "I've got some good news, and some bad news" I said.

"Bad first, so we can move on" Said Britney.

"Leena and Misty have backstage passes" I said.

"WHAT?!" They shouted at the same time. They were frustrated.

"HOW CAN THERE BE GOOD NEWS AFTER THIS!?!" Chelsea shouted.

"We have backstage passes too" I said and started acting like I am really excited. I was, but not as much as I was showing.

They all started jumping up and down, thanking me, hugging me. My phone rang, but it was on my desk. I had a mini heart-attack when Lucy decided to pick up.

"Jenna's phone, Lucy speaking." She answered. And then she gave the phone to me "It's for you" She said.

"Really? Who would call me on my phone?" I said sarcastically. It was my mom. Lucky.

So after we spent the entire day together, it was time to go, and the girls wanted to go early so we can try and see the boys before the show. I was up for it.

We called a taxi and were there in 10 minutes. There were a lot of girls waiting to enter. I suddenly felt like a Directioner. Like I can't wait to see the boys and maybe if my luck is right, I could meet them. It was in the atmosphere. So, as we were going for the backstage pass, Lucy spotted Misty.

"The Devil, herself." She said. She was with Leena and one other girl.

"Hey Jen" Said Leena. Misty just looked at me with her proud smile. Like she is better than me. Britney told me that she liked Harry the best. Oh yeah? BITCH, I AM GOING OUT WITH HIM! Of course, this was happening in my head and not in the real world.

"Hey Leena." I said nicely, and then with confidence I turned to Misty "Hi" I said and then continued to talk to Leena. "When are you going in?"

"We are waiting for Tina. Oh and this is Sandy." She said pointing to the other girl that was standing with us.

She smiled at me and I introduced myself. After, me, Britney, Lucy and Chelsea got in. It was a long hallway, and se saw a bunch of directioners on the way. I knew this place, I was here a few times, so I knew where exactly they are. I wanted to go see Harry, but I couldn't bring the girls with me. I had to make an excuse.

"I need to go to the bathroom, wait for me here?" I said.

"Where is the bathroom?" Chelsea asked.

"I don't know, I'll find it. I'll call you when I am out, ok?" I said, hoping they don't want to come with me. They didn't, so I turned at the corner and walked to Harry's dressing room. I knocked and slowly opened the door.

"Harry?" I whispered.

Someone opened the door. I stood there. In shock. A red-haired girl was standing in front of me. I totally forgot about her. It was Lexi.

"No, he's showering, sorry. Can I take a message?" She said. I knew she lied.

"Oh Lex, hey. Long time no seen. When did you get out of the asylum?" I said.

"Looks like someone has built up their confidence. What happened?" She said sarcastically. It was a very sarcastic conversation.

"Oh, honey, get over it." I said, and with that I left. I called Harry to ask him where he is.

"Where are you baby?" He answered.

"You won't believe who I just saw!" I said, but he already knew the answer.

"Lexi? Yeah, I know. I saw her, but she didn't see me. So I switched dressing rooms. Just walk down the hall, turn left, and I'm the first door on the left."

As he was telling me the directions, I was following them, and when I turned left at the end of the hallway, Britney, Chelsea and Lucy were in front of me.

"Hey" I said, as I hung up "I was just about to call you"

"Lucy overheard some people who work here that Harry is in room 17. It's this way!" Said Britney going towards it. I couldn't let them walk in there because Lexi would just tell everything.

"Oh this room?" I said, and opened the real room where Harry was. It was better this than talking to Lexi.

"No, Jen that's-" Chelsea stopped talking. We saw Harry inside and he was a little surprised, and looked at me with the question 'Why did you came with them?' And he read my lips that said 'Lexi'.

"Hello girls." He said, cheeky.

"Oh…my…god" Said Britney, trying to act cool. But they all froze, and none of them would speak.

"Hey Harry" I started talking. "I'm Jenna. And this is Britney, Lucy and Chelsea." I said, trying to act like this is the first time I am this close to him.

"Well it's a pleasure too meet you. Come in, close the door." He said, and I closed it.

Nobody would speak.

"Can we take a picture, and well be out of your hair?" I said, smiling. He smiled at me too.

Harry's POV

I smiled at her. She was trying so hard to act like this is the first time we have met. I almost bought it.

"Yes, sure. " I said, and the blond girl, Britney took her phone out and we took a picture. We chatted a little, but then I was called so I had to go.

"Well it was nice to meet you girls" I said "You will watch the show from the VIP area right?" I asked and they all nodded.

"Nice to meet you too" Jenna said. I got out of the room, and was in the look out for Lexi. I left the four girls behind me. It was really sweet. Although I wanted to be just with Jen, but this was ok too, I guess. I got to see her. As I was walking in the room where we had to have a talk and go over the concert and the order of the songs, Lou talked to me

"Did you see Jen?" He asked curious.

"Yeah, but she came with her friends. They overheard that I was in room 17, and Lexi is in that room waiting for me, so she couldn't take the chance that Lexi will tell."

"What?! How did she get here?!" Asked Lou shocked.

"She had someone who works here to give her a backstage pass. But it' ok, I got to see her. Where's El?" I asked

"With Danielle and Perrie."

"Ok guys. Showtime" Said Liam. We went for the stage.

Jenna's POV

The show was about to start. We got out. It was a really good concert. We had a lot of fun. Britney, Chelsea and Lucy were over the moon. I was happy too. It was my first time to see One Direction live.

After their last song, they had an after party, which I was invited to, but I didn't want to ditch the girls. While I was in the bathroom, Harry called me

"Are you going to come tot he after party, baby?" I wanted to say yes. So badly.

"I can't I'm sorry. Call me afterwards?" He understood, and I left the bathroom.

The boys immediately left the arena, but Britney and the other girls wanted to look for them backstage. We spent 15 minutes, circling the whole area. So after we couldn't find them, we left to my house. I was home alone because mom and Rob where out for dinner, and Leena was sleeping over at Misty's.

'This, was the best day of my live.' tweeted Lucy, and then added the photo. Actually all three of them tweeted the same thing, and tagged each other and me.

"I am so happy right now" Said Britney.

"Ok, let's do an imagine." Said Chelsea.

"An imagine?" I repeated her.

"Yes. We always do it in situations like this. Well not like this, but when something big happens. Like a new album, new music video… We imagine 'what if' and say something nearly impossible." explained Britney.

"For example" continued Lucy "Imagine if one of us was going out with one of the boys. How easy our fangirl-lives would be. We would be friends with them." Said Lucy, daydreaming.

It was ironic. But I went along with it.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Said Britney to me

"Yes, sure" I said trying not to panic.

"Do you know Harry from before?" She asked directly. I was cornered but I weaseled my way out, like always.

"Well yeah, but not like this. It was when I gave them my username." I said, sticking to my story.

"Because, I was wondering, it was the same time when that J. person appeared in Harry's life. And she has the same sweater as you. I saw it earlier and made me think…" She said.

"Oh come on, do you really think I would keep it a SECRET if I knew Harry?! Please, I would post pictures, and interact as much as I could" I said, acting like that is true. It wasn't of course. But I had to say it. I was lying. I hated when people lie. It's dishonest and I promised myself since I can remember, that I wouldn't lie. But things just come up…

"Well, in that case, you are in our 'gang', you are one of us." Said Chelsea happly.

"I'm sorry?" I didn't understand.

"Yeah. You are a Directioner, you are cool, you are funny, you are honest. We would love to hang out with you like we hang out with each other." Said Lucy, and from her pocket she took out an Infinity directioner neckless. She put it on my neck, it was a little longer than the neckless Leena gave me, which I haven't gotten off since she put it on me. I felt like I was a part of a friendship. Maybe a real one, or maybe fake like the one with Lexi. I wasn't honest with them. But I can't tell them the truth. So, I had to pretend like it was true what they were saying.

A little later after midnight, they left and I was alone. I got my diary out from the false bottom in one of my drawers in the closet. It was accidentally made that way, but I found use for it, and it was really unnoticeable. I was really happy that I finally found friends. I started to jump up and down. I turned the music on loudly, forgetting to write in my diary, and I just danced. I had Harry, I was finally 'good' with Leena, and everyone home, and I just made friends. Three cool friends who actually like me. I was really happy. So I got tired a little from jumping around in my room and I sat down to write.

"Dear Diary

I made friends. I don't know if they are real or not. I can't read people anymore. Since I failed to read Lexi, I doubt my people-reading skills. I used to be so good.

I saw her today, Lexi. It came back to me, everything she did to me, and everything she has done. It was pure evil. When I saw her, all the trust in the world was gone. That's what it felt like. I couldn't trust anyone after. And before, I trusted at least Britney, Lucy and Chelsea with at least 40%. But now, not even 10%. What's happening? How can someone make you feel so angry. I am so angry right now, I am barely keeping it together. I think I am going to explode. And I know, it's not all because of Lexi.I know that that is past, and I don't care, I got over it. But I was still angry, for some reason. I felt empty. And hungry. But food won't take this emptiness away." I paused. I really did feel angry. I wanted to punch something. The only thing that was near my hand were pillows, because I was sitting on my window bench, and my phone. It was a fucking brick, so I could break something. So i just took a pillow and threw it. Minimal damage. I was home alone. I started to scream, to let the anger out. I was screaming, like I was in a horror movie. Like someone was after me, like someone wanted to kill me now. I broke my pencil.

I stood up, to get another one from my desk, but when I got up. I felt dizzy, and fell. I felt the anger in my bones. So I got up took a pencil and just continued to write.

"So anyway, I am free of Lexi, found friends and have Harry. Live is good." I wrote. After that my phone rang, it was Harry.

"Yellow" I said.

"Babyy, what are you doing?" He asked

"I'm going to bed,you?" I said.

"I wanted to see you, but ok. I guess I can see you tomorrow." He said, but i stopped him

"NO! You can come over, I am home alone" I said, happily.

He came over in less than 15 minutes.

"Did you drink?" I asked him, as he was walking in

"A little" He said, while he smiled, and then he kissed me.

We went upstairs, in my room. I laid on the bed an he laid with me. We cuddled and talked about the concert and the after party. His hands were all over me. I suddenly got the courage to completely lay on him. Pardon, I sat on him, and leaned down to kiss his neck.

"What are you doing?" He asked, laughing. But he was enjoying it.

Harry's POV

She was kissing guy neck. And my jaw-line. It was turning me on. I felt her warm breath on my skin. She didn't answer my question, just started to unbutton my shirt. At first i didn't mind, but she kept on rubbing her body on mine. If we went there, I won't be able to stop. And I didn't want it to happen like this, I wanted to be special. Why was she acting like this.

"Wait" I said and with my hands i pulled her away.

"What?" She said,and her eyes filled with tears. "You don't want me like that?"

What was going on with her? She never acted like this.

"Are you drunk?" I asked her,just to make sure.

"No" She smiled, and went back to kiss me, on my neck, but I stopped her.

"If we go there, I won't be able to stop, baby" I said. She just looked at me seductively. She has never made that look in her life. Ever. What was going on with her?

"I don't want you to stop" She said, and continued to kiss me. I went along with it for few minutes, but I knew something wasn't right. All of a sudden she acts like this.

"Wait, wait" I said. I wanted to continue, so badly, but I knew it wasn't right.

"What?" She said as she got off me. I sat straight

"What's wrong? You've never acted this way. We are taking everything slow, and all of a sudden you do…well, this." I said. I didn't know how to react. It was weird, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"Forget it." She said, and got off the bed. "You want something to eat?" She said. She ignored my question. And she didn't even wait for me to answer hers, she got out. I saw a notebook on her window-bench. It was opened on the last written page. I read it. I didn't mean to invade her privacy, but I was curious. It wasn't making sense, so I followed her.

"Wait up, Jen" I said as I was following her down the stairs.

"What? I am not good enough for you? Is that it?" Tears fell from her eyes "Or is it I'm not HOT enough for you? Or sexy enough? Or you just don't want me like this. Keeping it PG13." She said. She was talking really fast.

"I just don't want to do something that you will regret later !" I said. I took her hand in mine, but she pulled it away.

"Maybe you should leave?" She said, and stood in front of me with her hands crossed.

"Ok, we'll talk tomorrow,ok?" I said, and leaned to kiss her. She pulled away.

"Oh yeah, this I tell you once, and you listen! FIne we'll talk tomorrow." She said and went upstairs. I wanted to go to her, but I didn't want to upset her that much more. So I went home.

My phone rang when I was in the car

"Where are you?" It was Louis.

"I'm going home, I am tired. Where are you?" I answered.

"Well, I am at your house. I lost my key, you have a key to my house right?" Louis said. I did have a key to his house. So when I got home, he was waiting for me.

"Vas happening?!" He said. He was a little drunk.

"Are you ok?" I asked, laughing.

"Never better, mate." He said, and we walked in. "How's life with Jenna?" He asked. I wanted to talk about it with someone. Louis was a great listener and gave great advices, especially when he was drunk.

I told him what happened.

"Don't hold my word, but she might be suffering from depression" He said, pretending to be a doctor.

"Come on man, I'm serious. She freaked me out a little. And the things she wrote in her diary-" I said, but he cut me off

"Never read a girls diary!" He said

"I didn't mean to. But it makes no sense. She's talking about emptiness, and no trust. and the last sentence was out of context. It was this happy little sentence with the words 'Life is good'. I mean, what is that about?" I said. I couldn't understand.

We talked for an hour, and Lou got sober.

"Oh…" He said, like he got bad news.

"What?" I asked.

"I mean, it's a possibility, but it's unlikely….although, the signs…" Lou was talking but I had no idea what he was saying.

"What are you talking about?!" I asked.

"Think about it. She is depressed, about her dad of what you have told me. He died right?" I nodded. I didn't tell him everything, I just told him that her father was sick and died of cancer "So, she got all depressed, but somehow she managed to get better with Lexi. Then she comes here, and she is depressed again. She gets drunk, you find her, and the next day she is this fearless girl who asks to drive, although she can't. That night she gets all depressed, the next day, she is a-ok. Then she is happy again. Lexi betrays her, she is all depressed, so even though she knew the truth, she didn't forgive you. After that, she comes she is ok, she makes friends, something she is not good at, from what you have told me. And now she writes she's angry, and doesn't know why. And then wants to have sex with you out of the blue… Think about it man"

"What are you saying Lou?" I asked. I had tears in my eyes. This did not sound good.

"Mate…" He said, and then paused "She's bipolar..."

Notes

Please read: I am not a specialist in bipolarissam. I am just going along with what i've read and what i've seen.

Running up that hill - Placebo

Comments

When are you goin to update?!
BriLovesStyles BriLovesStyles
8/14/13
Moooorrrreeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(: im a little obsessed!!!!!€€€
Calli Elizabeth Calli Elizabeth
6/27/13
I am reading this at 4 in the morning I really need to sleep.... But I just can't its so good!
When you read 35 chapters of this in one day, 23 days is a long time to wait for the next one...
Please update soon!!!!