The whole entire time we were eating, Zayn kept his hand on my knee. It felt… warm. Nice. Comforting. Scary. Different. I tried to focus on my chicken, but Zayn’s hand kept me shivering.
I only ate about half of it.
Zayn’s hand leaves my knee, and I feel cold. Seconds later my chin is warm and being lifted up, up, up, until I am looking into two soft brown eyes.
“Darling, let’s go back to my room.” A soft smile curls his lips upward and I nod, picking up my plate to go with him.
“Excuse me.” Someone says behind me, and I turn slightly, at about a 90 degree angle. Their voice is so accusing! I never speak like that to strangers. I’m about to tell them off when they cut me off. “No. This is a patient, what are you doing canoodling with him in the cafeteria?”
I turn around fully; this person is really pissing me off. Or should I say this nurse is really pissing me off. Does she know nothing? You NEVER talk like that to the dark lord. My mouth is open, and I almost have my first word out, but I get cut off. Again. Seriously, what is up with people cutting me off today?! Then the speaker begins, and I’m almost okay with it, because I know them. And they’re supporting me.
“Ma’am, it wasn’t her idea; it was mine.” Louis tells her, and I feel his hand resting on my lower back. “She just wanted to hang out with her boyfriend somewhere else than his dismal hospital room.” The nurse’s face grows red, and I can almost see the steam coming out of her ears.
“Both of you- leave. Now. No complaints. Out!” She shouts, pointing to the closest exit. My eyes widen as she raises her voice and I back up, almost tripping onto the table. Zayn catches me, although he flinches in pain as I bend his broken finger.
“SEE!” The nurse screams, thrusting me out of the room. “You’re no good at all! All you do is cause pain for people!” I cower away, not even bothering to grab my bag, and dash out the exit. Behind me I can hear Zayn protesting, Liam dialing a number, and Mar calling my name. I rush out, too embarrassed to look back. The nurse is right, and it stings like salt in an open wound.
Because if there’s one thing I learned from Adam, the words almost hurt more than the blows.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What do you want now, Adam?” I sigh as he enters the room. He looks at me in disgust, and swings his arm out to fall in front of his body, instead of to the side, where it was previously.
“Nothing, bitch. But since you ask… I’ll make you a nice knuckle sandwich, although I know it won’t be as big as your whore business.” He replies, slamming his fist into my gut. I fall backwards, crashing into the wall of our flat.
“Well, that concludes our session for today… See ya later, slut.” He bids me farewell, leaving through the door.
Slut.
Bitch.
Whore.
Am I really all those things?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Julianna!” A voice behind me calls out. “Julianna, bro, listen, alright?” I recognize his voice from somewhere. A random person that I met five minutes ago? Nah, seems more familiar than that.
“What?” I snap, turning around on the spot. My eyes see Louis, but for some reason he’s… cloudy. After looking around, I realize that it’s me that’s cloudy; well, my eyes at least. They’re filled with tears.
“Shhh, Jules, it’ll be alright.” He soothes me, rubbing my back. For some reason, I sink into him and cry. I feel warm and protected, but not like I do with Zayn. Zayn is like a heat wave- Louis is a comforting blanket. Is that how you would put it? Zayn is fiery, and impulsive. Kind of like me. Louis- I don’t know him yet. But from what I can gather? He seems sweet, soft, and kind. The joker, too; but always there to offer help and comfort.
“Y-Yeah. T-Thanks for b-b-being here, L-Louis.” I smile sloppily at him. Oh, god; my face is probably a mess. Nobody looks attractive when they cry, including me. I dig my head deeper into his chest, and realize something.
There’s no sparks, no shivers, no tingles. Zayn’s very presence makes me aware of someone else being there. With Louis, there’s… nothing. Just a warm spot.
“Any time, Julianna.” He smiles at me. “Want to go get cheered up?” I nod my head vigorously, and a smile creeps up onto his face. “Alright, I know just the place.”
~*~
“No Louis, I think we’ve went to enough stores!” I squeal as he pulls me into another clothing shop. Yes- me, squealing. What effect does this boy have on me? But I understand him better. He loves me; and I love him. But we’re friends. It’s like he’s a girl- which, after today, and the excessive shopping he made me do- I’m willing to believe.
“Please Juli, pretty please? You need some Toms. I can’t believe you don’t have any already, I’m ashamed!” He sighs, pulling me towards the shoes section. They have two tables for Toms; one is full of flat Toms, with different styles, and the other are full of wedges. A saleslady approaches and asks us if we need help. What size do we need? Which ones do we like?
“Juli, what’s your shoes size?” Louis questions me. I reply quickly, because my tiny feet do make me a little ashamed when I’m out with friends, although I’ll never admit it. Louis just turns back to the saleslady. “Okay, one of each of these shoes in size seven, please.” My face pales and he turns to me with a cheeky grin. “What?” He asks ever-so-innocently.
“Louis William Tomlinson, why did you ask her to bring out every single pair of Toms in my size?” I inquire, backing his much taller figure up to the wall. He continues smiling, though, pushing my shorter form backwards, until I’m leaning against the Toms table.
“Julianna, you’re my new sister. Congratulations! So from now on I can spoil you with whatever I want, and you get no say whatsoever. Understand? Good.” He replies quickly, that smile still on his face. He then turns around to admire the second Toms counter, picking up some sparkly shoes. What a cheeky little bastard. Just as I go to pinch his unsuspecting back, the saleslady walks back out, pushing a cart loaded with Tom shoe boxes.
“Here, this is all of them I think. Tell me if you need anything.” She informs us, staggering away while wiping sweat droplets from her forehead. So I don’t pinch Lou; I slap him instead. He cringes away from my light hit, and I give him the stink eye.
“Look at all the work you made that poor woman do, Louis! You’re grounded!” I shout, causing people to give us looks.
“You can’t ground me, Jules. I’m older than you.” By this time, I’m sure steam is coming out of my ears, that’s how agitated I am with this man.
“No, Louis you collect all of these shoes and bring them into the back and put them where the nice lady tells you.” I tell him, as calmly as I can. He shakes his head, and leans in, as if he’s going to tell me a secret.
“I’m famous, Julianna Moore, I can do whatever the hell I want.” Is all he tells me. He swoops backwards, a satisfied looks on his face. “Now try on these shoes, before the presses get here.” Sighing, I pull on a pair of Toms, the ballet flat kind. They’re mainly burlap, with some black overlay near the heel and toe. Once they’re on my feet, I stand. Surprisingly, they’re… comfortable. Really comfortable. Plus, Toms always does one-for-ones; which means if I bought a pair of Toms, which I’m seriously contemplating right now, a child in need would get a pair of shoes.
“Louis, I love these. Can I get them?”
“Darling, wait until you try on the other ones.” He prompts me, and I try them on without protest. Besides, trying something one doesn’t mean you actually are going to buy it!
Of course, I was wrong. We leave with five pairs of Toms. My conscience feels guilty and dirty, but clean at the same time. I didn’t just get four comfy, attractive, funky shoes- I bought ten shoes, and gave five of them to children in need.
Well, Louis bought ten shoes and gave them to children in need. I almost kicked him when he paid for them and not me, but he ran away too fast. Later, when we were riding the bus back to Marie’s and mine apartment, I got him back by pinching him.
Sweet revenge.
“Okay little lady, time to get you spruced up for your date!” Louis cries, running around my room in circles. He, in this moment, reminds me of my old dog, Lola; she was cross eyed, and all she would ever do was run around in circles. Before I can make a funny comment, though, he pushed me onto my bed and puts a blindfold over my eyes. But wait- did he say date?
“Uh- Lou- date?”
“Yes love, Zayn is being discharged tonight so he’s taking you to- no, Louis won’t tell you after all, deary.” He tells me, and I can imagine his ever-present cheeky grin spanning his face. “And since Mar and Belle are busy with their boys, I’m getting you all spruced!”
“Oh, no, Louis. Please don’t--”
“Too late, love!” Louis cackles, and I hear the opening of bags and tearing of tags.
Oh, please Louis, have a good sense of fashion…
~*~
“Okay babe, open your eyes.” Louis announces, and my eyes pop open. I smile, because Louis actually did okay. Not amazing, like Mar or Belle, but he passed the test.
In the mirror, staring back at me, is a coffee-skinned girl with shoulder length black hair. Her pink Jack Wills shirt and white shorts contrast greatly with her tan skin tone, making her look happy. A smile grows on her face, and then she really has the appearance of a happy person. Her gaze travels to her feet, which are covered in gray classic Toms, and her head shakes.
“Louis!” I cry, effulging him in a hug. Even though I kind of disapprove of him putting me in Toms on Zayn and mine’s first date, he did a good job. “Thanks bro.”
“No problem, little sis.” He replies just as the doorbell rings. We exchange serious looks, before Louis goes and answers it. In that moment when we made eye contact, an understanding passed between us. Louis needed a word with Zayn, and I wasn’t allowed to hear it. So what do I do? I go and hide so he can’t see me eavesdropping. From my hiding place I can see it’s Zayn in his wheelchair; no surprise there.
“Hello, Lou, where’s Julianna?” Louis wheels him inside and takes a seat across from him, lounging on Marie’s favorite over-stuffed chair.
“Zayn, first I have to have a talk with you. Julianna; she’s been hurt. Badly. By Adam, but not just physically. He abused her mentally too, Zayn, no matter how hard she tries to conceal it. He called her names, told her things other than the truth about herself, and did things that neither you nor I could handle. Be careful with my little sister, or I might gorge your eyes out at our next concert. Sorry.” Louis gives Zayn a weak smile. I shiver.
How does Louis know? I mean, he obviously knew about the physical abuse. But he shouldn’t know about the… other things. Unless I’m just that easy to read. Am I? I hope not! Or maybe it’s just Lou. Yeah, it must be. Even Marie doesn’t know. About the words, I mean. About the way he would use them like daggers against my fragile skin. Involuntarily, I shiver, as I always do when I think of Adam.
“I know, Lou. I know I need to help her. And if I hurt her, I’ll beg you to gorge my eyes out.” Zayn whispers. I shiver, and Louis turns around, staring at my hiding spot.
“Julianna, I know you’re there, come on out. It’s time for your date.” Sheepishly, I tiptoe out from my hiding place.
“Hi.” I murmur, and Zayn grabs my hand. We wheel-and-walk to the door, and Louis stands behind us, acting all protective.
“You better have her home by 22.00, mister, or else you don’t wanna know.” Louis reprimands him. Zayn chuckles softly under his breath as we exit the house. Louis shuts the door firmly behind us, and I successfully load Zayn into his chauffeured car- he obviously can’t drive.
“So where are we going?” I ask innocently, gazing out the window. Zayn’s gaze is heating up my face.
“It’s a surprise.” He whispers, his breath suddenly on my neck. A smile creeps onto my face and I turn, and my lips are met with a kiss.

Notes

Hope you liked!!! <3
~Mallery