Perfect To Me
Lift Me Up
“So how do I go about this, Niall?” I asked him as I took a slice of pizza from the box sitting in front me. Currently I was over at Niall’s for the afternoon hanging out, watching some soccer when I finally decided to bring up my predicament. I’d been back from visiting with my dad for court for three days now and I only have so much time to tell Harry before it becomes obvious.
“Go about what?” Niall said around a mouthful of pizza. I rolled my eyes at him as I sipped on my soda.
“Swallow your food,” I told him and saw him, clear as day, swallow. “Tell Harry I’m pregnant.”
“Just go up to him and be like ‘HAZ! I’m pregnant and you’re the father!’ and then have a long discussion on how you two are going to handle this.”
“You’re an idiot,” I told him and he quickly looked at me. “I can’t just blurt it out, Niall. It’s not something to blurt.”
“Don’t call me names. I’m trying to help you, Abby and I’ve never been put in this kind of situation before so excuse me if I slack a little, yeah?” Niall, very maturely, said to me.
“Sorry, it’s just frustrating. Anyways, spitball some ideas at me, Horan,” I said as I flopped back on the couch.
“The only idea that I can come up with is just sit him down and tell ‘em,” Niall said, point blank before going back to watching TV.
“When?” I asked him, but before he could answer my cell phone started ringing. It was Harry. I pressed answer and put the phone against my ear.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Abs. Where are you?” Harry asked and I looked at Niall who was staring at me expectantly.
“I’m just at Niall’s hanging out, why what’s up?” I asked him as I stood up to leave the room.
“I was just gonna see if you wanted to grab dinner later on, you free?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m always free for you,” I told him with a smile on my face.
“Great, just swing by mine around seven and we’ll go from there,” he said and I could hear him moving around.
“Alright, babe. I’ll see you then. Love you.”
“Love you too, tell Niall I said hi,” Harry said before hanging up. I walked back into the living room and sat down where I was previously sitting.
“What’d he want?” Niall said as he grabbed another slice of pizza.
“Him and I are having dinner tonight,” I told him while I thought about some things.
“Tonights the night, Abby. You need to tell him, tonight,” Niall stated.
“I know. I guess we’d better figure out what I’m going to say then, huh?” I said and he nodded his head.
“I’ll go get more drinks, and we’ll get started!” Niall said as he ran to the kitchen. I let out a deep, long breath I had been holding and slumped against the couch.
--4 hours later—
I pulled up outside of Harry’s house and climbed out of my car. I walked up to his door and didn’t even bother knocking, and went ahead and walked in.
“Harry?” I called out to see where he would be.
“Bedroom!” I walked down the hall and into his room where he was pulling his jeans on. Once he got them on he looked at me and smiled before walking over to me. “And how are you?”
“I’m good,” I told him with a small smile on my face. He leant down and placed his lips on top of mine in a small, quick peck.
“So where do you wanna go tonight?” He asked while pulling a plain white shirt over his head, followed by his necklaces he always wore.
“It doesn’t really matter to me, I was thinking Chinese sounded good,” I told him while I leant against his dresser.
“Is something bothering you? You look a little down,” Harry stated while he walked into his closet to get his favorite pair of brown boots.
“I need to talk to you about something, Harry.”
“What about?” He asked and I took a deep breath.
“Can you take a seat and stop walking around?” I asked him and he did as I said. “Now what I’m about to tell you, I don’t know how you’ll take it.”
“Abby you can tell me any—“
“Let me just talk without interruptions, Harry,” I said with my eyes closed. I took another deep breath before continuing. “I’m pregnant.” The look on Harry’s face was dry of any emotion as he just sat on the end of his bed and stared at me.
“You’re pregnant?” He asked in disbelief and I nodded my head in confirmation. “And you’re sure?”
“I took fifteen tests, Har. All came back positive.”
“Did you see where I put my socks?” Harry asked, changing the subject and pretending to look busy.
“Harry, stop. Talk to me, what are you thinking?” I asked him as I crossed the room and placed my hand on his shoulder.
“I’m thinking I need to find my socks so we can go to dinner,” Harry said as he walked from my grasp and continued to search for his socks.
“Harry, stop!” I yelled at him and he quickly came to a halt and brought his gaze to meet mine. “Talk to me,” I pleaded.
“Okay. I can’t be a dad, Abby,” he said while he dropped his attention to the floor.
“I understand that, Harry. I’m too young to be a mom, we’re too young to be parents right now,” I told him as I walked back over to him and grabbed his hands in mine.
“We need to discuss what we’re going to do,” I slowly said to him.
“That’s easy, I know what we’re going to do,” Harry said while he stared into my eyes. “You’re going to get an abortion.”
“What?” I asked him in disbelief.
“You are going to abort the baby. Abby, like you said we’re too young to be parents. Not only are we too young but I’m also constantly traveling. I wouldn’t be here and with the gallery going on for you, you can’t raise a child by yourself and still work,” he told me and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“I understand that, Harry. But it’s against my lifestyle to get an abortion, I don’t believe in abortion when it comes to this kind of situation.”
“Abigail, I am not raising that child! I will not be a teenaged father! My mother would kill me,” Harry yelled while he stepped away from me.
“And my father would kill me if I got an abortion! Hell, I’d beat myself up about it every day wondering what it’d look like!” I yelled back at him.
“I can’t do it,” Harry simply stated as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“What about putting it up for adoption?” I suggested to him.
“No. I refuse to do that. I refuse to give up my child to another family when he’d be better off with us anyway. We have stable incomes.”
“So you want to keep it?” I asked him, growing confused.
“No, I’m just stating that I would never give up my kid for adoption. Especially because I wouldn’t want him or her being upset and feeling unwanted because we gave them up.”
“Harry, people put their kids up all the time because they aren’t ready to be parents. We could find a great couple that would love and cherish the child,” I pleaded to him.
“I’d rather you get an abortion,” he stated.
“I’m not getting an abortion, Harry!” I yelled at him.
“Why not, Abby?!”
“Because! Me getting an abortion runs a potential risk of me never being able to have kids again! If one thing goes wrong I will be infertile! On top of that, I am against someone getting an abortion because they weren’t responsible enough to remember to take their pill or wrap it up,” I seethed to him whilst stabbing his chest with my finger.
“Then fine, keep the baby Abby. But I refuse to be in its life and I refuse to help you with it, you’re on your own. Give it up for adoption then come talk to me when you do, but keep it and you can forget about us ever happening again,” Harry said. “Or get an abortion and we can go on with our lives together.”
I took a deep breath before turning around and grabbing my purse off the floor and walking towards the door. Before I walked out I turned around to say one last thing.
“Maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll see you in nine months.” I walked out the door and back to my car where I sped off. I didn’t go straight home because I knew Charlotte was studying and I didn’t want to disturb her, but I really needed a friend right now. So I went to the only other person I felt comfortable with.
“Abby?” Niall said once he swung his door open. He pulled me inside and into a tight hug. After we hug for a bit he pulled me into the living room and sat me down. “What happened?”
“He wants me to get an abortion, that’s the only thing he would be okay with,” I whimpered to him as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“What do you want?” Niall asked as he rubbed my back in a circular pattern.
“I want to carry it to term and put it up for adoption,” I told him.
“What was Harry’s response?”
“He said put it up for adoption and then come talk to him after the baby is with the family for good,” I cried to him.
“And?”
“And if I decide to keep it then to never talk to him again,” I said as I sobbed silently and Niall pulled me against his chest. “I just can’t abort this baby. There’s too many health risks with it and it’s totally against my beliefs.”
“I know, Abby. I know,” Niall whispered into my hair as he pressed a friendly kiss to my head. “I’m sure he’ll come around. He’s crazy about you, Abby.”
“If he was crazy about me he would support me.”
“Don’t say that. You and I both know how stubborn the little wanker is. He’ll come around.”
“I need him, Niall. I need Harry in my life, I don’t think I can live without him,” I loudly said as I soaked Niall’s shirt with my tears.
“Abby you need to settle down, everything’s going to be okay. Harry, he probably just needs time,” Niall reassured me as he rocked us back and forth.
“And what if he doesn’t?” I asked him.
“Then he isn’t worth your time anymore, love.”
That sentence is what I’m afraid of. Harry not being mine anymore, not giving every single one of our free minutes to spend with one another because we never know when one of us has to pack our bag and go somewhere. This is what I was afraid of, losing Harry for, possibly, forever.
“Go about what?” Niall said around a mouthful of pizza. I rolled my eyes at him as I sipped on my soda.
“Swallow your food,” I told him and saw him, clear as day, swallow. “Tell Harry I’m pregnant.”
“Just go up to him and be like ‘HAZ! I’m pregnant and you’re the father!’ and then have a long discussion on how you two are going to handle this.”
“You’re an idiot,” I told him and he quickly looked at me. “I can’t just blurt it out, Niall. It’s not something to blurt.”
“Don’t call me names. I’m trying to help you, Abby and I’ve never been put in this kind of situation before so excuse me if I slack a little, yeah?” Niall, very maturely, said to me.
“Sorry, it’s just frustrating. Anyways, spitball some ideas at me, Horan,” I said as I flopped back on the couch.
“The only idea that I can come up with is just sit him down and tell ‘em,” Niall said, point blank before going back to watching TV.
“When?” I asked him, but before he could answer my cell phone started ringing. It was Harry. I pressed answer and put the phone against my ear.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Abs. Where are you?” Harry asked and I looked at Niall who was staring at me expectantly.
“I’m just at Niall’s hanging out, why what’s up?” I asked him as I stood up to leave the room.
“I was just gonna see if you wanted to grab dinner later on, you free?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m always free for you,” I told him with a smile on my face.
“Great, just swing by mine around seven and we’ll go from there,” he said and I could hear him moving around.
“Alright, babe. I’ll see you then. Love you.”
“Love you too, tell Niall I said hi,” Harry said before hanging up. I walked back into the living room and sat down where I was previously sitting.
“What’d he want?” Niall said as he grabbed another slice of pizza.
“Him and I are having dinner tonight,” I told him while I thought about some things.
“Tonights the night, Abby. You need to tell him, tonight,” Niall stated.
“I know. I guess we’d better figure out what I’m going to say then, huh?” I said and he nodded his head.
“I’ll go get more drinks, and we’ll get started!” Niall said as he ran to the kitchen. I let out a deep, long breath I had been holding and slumped against the couch.
--4 hours later—
I pulled up outside of Harry’s house and climbed out of my car. I walked up to his door and didn’t even bother knocking, and went ahead and walked in.
“Harry?” I called out to see where he would be.
“Bedroom!” I walked down the hall and into his room where he was pulling his jeans on. Once he got them on he looked at me and smiled before walking over to me. “And how are you?”
“I’m good,” I told him with a small smile on my face. He leant down and placed his lips on top of mine in a small, quick peck.
“So where do you wanna go tonight?” He asked while pulling a plain white shirt over his head, followed by his necklaces he always wore.
“It doesn’t really matter to me, I was thinking Chinese sounded good,” I told him while I leant against his dresser.
“Is something bothering you? You look a little down,” Harry stated while he walked into his closet to get his favorite pair of brown boots.
“I need to talk to you about something, Harry.”
“What about?” He asked and I took a deep breath.
“Can you take a seat and stop walking around?” I asked him and he did as I said. “Now what I’m about to tell you, I don’t know how you’ll take it.”
“Abby you can tell me any—“
“Let me just talk without interruptions, Harry,” I said with my eyes closed. I took another deep breath before continuing. “I’m pregnant.” The look on Harry’s face was dry of any emotion as he just sat on the end of his bed and stared at me.
“You’re pregnant?” He asked in disbelief and I nodded my head in confirmation. “And you’re sure?”
“I took fifteen tests, Har. All came back positive.”
“Did you see where I put my socks?” Harry asked, changing the subject and pretending to look busy.
“Harry, stop. Talk to me, what are you thinking?” I asked him as I crossed the room and placed my hand on his shoulder.
“I’m thinking I need to find my socks so we can go to dinner,” Harry said as he walked from my grasp and continued to search for his socks.
“Harry, stop!” I yelled at him and he quickly came to a halt and brought his gaze to meet mine. “Talk to me,” I pleaded.
“Okay. I can’t be a dad, Abby,” he said while he dropped his attention to the floor.
“I understand that, Harry. I’m too young to be a mom, we’re too young to be parents right now,” I told him as I walked back over to him and grabbed his hands in mine.
“We need to discuss what we’re going to do,” I slowly said to him.
“That’s easy, I know what we’re going to do,” Harry said while he stared into my eyes. “You’re going to get an abortion.”
“What?” I asked him in disbelief.
“You are going to abort the baby. Abby, like you said we’re too young to be parents. Not only are we too young but I’m also constantly traveling. I wouldn’t be here and with the gallery going on for you, you can’t raise a child by yourself and still work,” he told me and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“I understand that, Harry. But it’s against my lifestyle to get an abortion, I don’t believe in abortion when it comes to this kind of situation.”
“Abigail, I am not raising that child! I will not be a teenaged father! My mother would kill me,” Harry yelled while he stepped away from me.
“And my father would kill me if I got an abortion! Hell, I’d beat myself up about it every day wondering what it’d look like!” I yelled back at him.
“I can’t do it,” Harry simply stated as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“What about putting it up for adoption?” I suggested to him.
“No. I refuse to do that. I refuse to give up my child to another family when he’d be better off with us anyway. We have stable incomes.”
“So you want to keep it?” I asked him, growing confused.
“No, I’m just stating that I would never give up my kid for adoption. Especially because I wouldn’t want him or her being upset and feeling unwanted because we gave them up.”
“Harry, people put their kids up all the time because they aren’t ready to be parents. We could find a great couple that would love and cherish the child,” I pleaded to him.
“I’d rather you get an abortion,” he stated.
“I’m not getting an abortion, Harry!” I yelled at him.
“Why not, Abby?!”
“Because! Me getting an abortion runs a potential risk of me never being able to have kids again! If one thing goes wrong I will be infertile! On top of that, I am against someone getting an abortion because they weren’t responsible enough to remember to take their pill or wrap it up,” I seethed to him whilst stabbing his chest with my finger.
“Then fine, keep the baby Abby. But I refuse to be in its life and I refuse to help you with it, you’re on your own. Give it up for adoption then come talk to me when you do, but keep it and you can forget about us ever happening again,” Harry said. “Or get an abortion and we can go on with our lives together.”
I took a deep breath before turning around and grabbing my purse off the floor and walking towards the door. Before I walked out I turned around to say one last thing.
“Maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll see you in nine months.” I walked out the door and back to my car where I sped off. I didn’t go straight home because I knew Charlotte was studying and I didn’t want to disturb her, but I really needed a friend right now. So I went to the only other person I felt comfortable with.
“Abby?” Niall said once he swung his door open. He pulled me inside and into a tight hug. After we hug for a bit he pulled me into the living room and sat me down. “What happened?”
“He wants me to get an abortion, that’s the only thing he would be okay with,” I whimpered to him as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“What do you want?” Niall asked as he rubbed my back in a circular pattern.
“I want to carry it to term and put it up for adoption,” I told him.
“What was Harry’s response?”
“He said put it up for adoption and then come talk to him after the baby is with the family for good,” I cried to him.
“And?”
“And if I decide to keep it then to never talk to him again,” I said as I sobbed silently and Niall pulled me against his chest. “I just can’t abort this baby. There’s too many health risks with it and it’s totally against my beliefs.”
“I know, Abby. I know,” Niall whispered into my hair as he pressed a friendly kiss to my head. “I’m sure he’ll come around. He’s crazy about you, Abby.”
“If he was crazy about me he would support me.”
“Don’t say that. You and I both know how stubborn the little wanker is. He’ll come around.”
“I need him, Niall. I need Harry in my life, I don’t think I can live without him,” I loudly said as I soaked Niall’s shirt with my tears.
“Abby you need to settle down, everything’s going to be okay. Harry, he probably just needs time,” Niall reassured me as he rocked us back and forth.
“And what if he doesn’t?” I asked him.
“Then he isn’t worth your time anymore, love.”
That sentence is what I’m afraid of. Harry not being mine anymore, not giving every single one of our free minutes to spend with one another because we never know when one of us has to pack our bag and go somewhere. This is what I was afraid of, losing Harry for, possibly, forever.
teressa conroy said the quote
3/2/15