The second my body hit the cold water, I went into a moment of shock. I was submerged completely, my hair floating around my head and snaring bits of seaweed.

Then I pushed upwards, resurfacing completely drenched and shivering. The boys were laughing hysterically; Niall was curled up on the sand nearly in tears while Louis had to lean on Harry for support. Liam was trying to look disapproving but even he cracked a smile, while Zayn was stretched out on a towel looking as if he were sleeping. I would not be surprised.

So I did the next best thing.

When another wave rolled in, I pretended to get caught in the current and dunked myself under again. Through layers of watery cover, I could hear the panicked shouts and had to scrunch up my face to keep myself from laughing and inhaling water. It was a horrible thing to do, but now there would be sand falling out of my hair for then next two weeks.

A long and lean body splashed in beside me, and I swam forward, toward the shore line. As soon as I could solidly reach the ground again, I stood, calf deep.

“Carly!” Harry shouted angrily when he sees that I’ve already come up, and I smile and wave at him.

“Harry!” I shouted back. As he came closer, I spoke again. “Revenge,” I whispered, my voice carrying out over the water just enough to reach him. His eyes narrowed dangerously at me, and I turned and ran back towards the others.

“I told you!” Carah said patronizingly as I hid behind her. “She used to be a swimmer, it’s literally impossible for her to drown. I’ve tried it like seven times already.”

“You scared the bloody hell out of us!” Liam said, turning on his stern face and acting like the fifty-six year old man he really is.

“I’m sorry, Father Liam,” I respond in mock-forgiveness, bending down to give a bow. My hair was already beginning to dry in tangled waves, looking several shades lighter than its dark brown in the sun. I could practically feel the sand sticking to my scalp.

“Apologize to Harry!” Louis piped up from his spot beside Eleanor on the towel.

“Yes, apologize to Harry,” The devil himself said, a cheeky smile on his face. I stand in front of him, arms crossed.

“And how exactly am I supposed to do that?” I said sarcastically, using this opportunity to my advantage and staring into his eyes. The sun was bearing down hot on top of us, and I was certain that I’d be getting sunburn on my shoulders later, but the light fell in front of Harry’s eyes in such a way that they seemed more blue than green.

“I can think of a few ways,” He replied, his voice low enough that the others couldn’t hear. My face burned red, my cheeks flaming hotter than the bud of a flame.

“Linnie! Your phone is going off!” Carah called out suddenly, and I turned to see my phone in her hand, the Cantina theme from Star Wars blaring loudly.

“Star Wars, eh?” Harry commented, and I look at him and roll my eyes.

“Shut up. They’re great movies.”

I take my phone from her and answer it, giving a light hello that may or may not have sounded the slightest bit annoyed.

“Carls! How’s it going? Where are you? I dropped by your house and the pops said you were gone.” A familiar voice sounded through the line, a continent away, and it felt as if ice were being injected into my veins. Suddenly everything became cold; the hot sun was no longer existent.

“Why are you calling me?” I practically hissed, moving away from the group before I could draw stares. Only one person ever called me Carls, and he was supposed to be back in America, along with every other poisonous thing that had infested in my life.

“What do you mean, why? I’m calling because you’re my girlfriend and I—” I cut him off.

“I am not your girlfriend!” I shrieked. Any conversation being had a few feet away from me ended abruptly. Even Zayn sat up, pushing his sunglasses up onto his head to look at me directly. I looked away. “We broke up three months ago, Owen, and I haven’t even been in the country for at least one of them! What makes you think you have the right to waltz back into my life after everything you did to me? You didn’t even notice I was gone!”

“C’mon, Carls, stop this. I love you. It was just a little misunderstanding, that’s all. Now what’s this about not being in the country--?”

“Stop it,” I said, shaking my head even though he couldn’t see me. Tears were beginning to prick behind my eyes, covering them in a water film. They stung.

“Stop what?”

“Stop saying that you love me. You don’t love me. I loved you so much and you kicked me to the curb like I was nothing!” It was so quiet that all I could hear was the gentle surf and the static over the phone.

“Carls—”

“No. Stop. Don’t call me ever again, don’t talk to my parents, don’t ever even think about contacting me. I loved you, and now I don’t. I can’t anymore, Owen. So please, leave me alone.”

Silence.

“You’re gonna regret this, Carly,” Owen said sharply, and then the line went dead.

That’s when I burst into tears. Wracking sobs that ripped through my body, and I sank down into the sand. I was so, so tired of feeling horrible. I just wanted to be happy, why couldn’t I have that? Was I undeserving of it? Had someone somewhere made it their personal mission to rip everything good that had ever happened to me away?

It was only a matter of time before things with the boys got messed up, and they were quickly becoming my closest friends next to Carah and Danielle and Eleanor. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to bear losing them.

Slowly, I was wrapped up in a hug. The first pair of arms belonged to Carah, but the second felt more muscular. I spared a glance from my sand and tear covered palms to see Harry kneeling beside me. Everyone else slowly followed suit, hugging me so tightly I could barely breathe.

Eventually, I ran of tears to cry and reasons to wallow in self-pity. It was pathetic, really, that I thought of myself so much it drove me to tears and ruined things for other people.

“Asshole,” Carah muttered, and Harry grumbled in agreement. A comforting hand that could have belonged to anyone in this giant mash of people moved up and down soothingly on my sand-covered back.

“I want to go back to the flat,” I whispered, staring Carah in the eyes to let her know I was serious. I wanted to be back on the couch, curled up and listening to music. She nodded and pulled away, and I shimmied out of the hug to grab my things. The first thing I did was press each ear bud firmly into my ear, and a sad song was playing. How appropriate.

I threw on my sundress, shaking out the sand, and saddled my bag on in complete silence. I turned to head to the car, only to find Harry standing right in front of me. He opened his mouth to say something, but a look at my face stopped him. My heart sank down into my stomach.

“I’ll leave you guys alone, now,” I said, and made my way over to the car, alone. I needed to be alone, and it was beginning to become clear that I was better off this way.