She's Not Afraid
What is Food?
Anna’s P.O.V
I’m so tired. Louis took me on the best date of my life. We had just gotten off the London Eye and now we were heading to the car. I yawned, Louis put his arm around me and smiled down at me. We got back to his car and he opened the car door for me. He was perfect. I had almost forgotten about Mark…I miss him. I felt tears in my eyes.
“What is it, love? Did I do something?” Louis asked, he seemed nervous.
“No, no, tonight was perfect. My mind just wandered off to my ex. I’m sorry.” I sighed. Way to go Anna, you just ruined the whole night.
“I’m sorry, was it too soon?” He asked apologetically.
“NO! Oh my god, you are perfect Lou, you really are. It’s me, I fuck up everything.” I looked down.
“Love, you do not.”
“How?”
“Tonight, every time you smiled, you lit up my world, you made me so happy when you agreed to go out with me.” He rubbed my knee. I was crying by this point. He brought me into a hug. Though it was awkward due to being in the car.
“Thank you.” I whispered.
“No problem.”
“When do you go on tour?” I asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“Two weeks.” He sighed.
“What?” I asked, noticing he didn’t seem happy.
“Because, I met this amazing girl and now I have to leave her…” He sighed.
“Who is she?” I looked down.
“You.”
“Me?” I was shocked. Mark never said things like that…come to think about it…he never really said anything to me that was remotely sweet.
Louis’s P.O.V
She really didn’t see herself as amazing or anything like that? How? This Mark guy should have told her that. I would tell her that every day.
“He never told you stuff like that…did he?” I asked. She nodded. I was shocked.
“Well, I mean he did in the beginning, but then it became a rare thing…like only if he felt like telling me. So I stopped believing it…I mean my parents told me I was shit…my dad emotionally abused me, my mom did as well…my brothers all moved out at 18 and I was left alone. Niall was my only friend…then we moved to Australia and it just got worse. I met Mark there and well he was different in the beginning…then the emotional abuse started…” She was crying by this point. I had pulled over so we had more time to talk.
“I ran away…my parents told me I wasn’t worth anything…they blamed Mark’s death on me…his mom said the same thing…” I hugged her.
“Louis…am I a terrible person?” She asked out of the blue.
“No, absolutely not!” I pulled her closer. I felt her tears soaking my shirt.
“Sorry about your shirt.” She mumbled.
“No worries love.” I smiled down at her.
“Can I stay at your guys place again?” She asked.
“Of course.” I kissed the top of her head. I looked at the time, it was half past twelve.
“Come one, let’s get back.” I smiled at her, she nodded. The rest of the way she was quiet, by the time we got back, she was asleep. I shook my head and chuckled. I got out, shut my door softly so I wouldn’t wake her. I then came to her side and lifted her out gently, using my hip to close the door.
Anna’s P.O.V
I woke up in Louis’s arms. I had been crying last night and then ended up falling asleep in the car. I don’t even know why he stayed with me. Who am I kidding? I have fallen hard for Louis Tomlinson. I moved his arm and sat up.
“Good morning beautiful.” Louis yawned sitting up next to me. I smiled at him.
“Morning.” My stomach growled.
“Someone’s hungry.” He chuckled.
“No, my stomach likes to think I am though.” I shrugged. I ate too much yesterday. I couldn’t eat today dammit.
“Well you’re still going to eat a roll or something.” He looked at me. I rolled my eyes and went downstairs.
“Well look who stayed over again?” Zayn wriggled his eyebrows. This time it was I that threw the biscuit at him.
“Shut your face.” I said. I grabbed my bag made my way to the door. I might as well walk home. I was going to avoid eating.
“Where are you going? You haven’t eaten breakfast!” Niall yelled, running to block the door.
“I have to get my medicine.” I looked at him.
“What happened to your arm?” He looked at my wrist. It was still bandaged.
“Cats.” I stated.
“You’re deathly allergic, try again.” Niall crossed his arms. By this point Louis was downstairs and the boys were listening.
“Got over my allergy.” I retorted.
“No, your mum told me last week you’re still allergic.”
“What the hell does my mom know?!” I yelled. Niall looked frightened by my sudden outburst. I just needed my blade. Fuck.
“Anna…are you okay?” Harry asked.
“Yes, I am fine.” I turned towards him.
“What medicine do you need?” Zayn asked me.
“My medicine. You don’t need to know, Zayn.” I stated. I turned back to Niall.
“You going to let me go home now?” I asked. He sighed and stepped away from the door. I nodded and walked out.
“Anna! Wait, let me drive you home.” Louis yelled. I turned and waited. He ran outside and stopped next to me.
“So what was that about?” Louis asked as we pulled up to my flat.
“Niall wouldn’t let me leave. I need to take my medicine.” I lied.
“Can I come in?” I nodded. He followed me and sat on the bar stool.
“Want some tea, water, anything?” I asked, grabbing my medicine from the cabinet.
“No, I’m okay. Thank you though.” He smiled.
“You wanted to ask me a question?” I asked him. He was staring into space. I could see the wheels turning and I knew he was wondering some stuff.
“Why are you afraid?” He asked.
“What?” I jumped at his question.
“Too tell someone what the marks really are on your arm?” He motioned to my wrist.
“It isn’t that easy, Louis. I knew you figured it out, hence why I told you all that last night.” I looked down. Mark always yelled when I cut.
“I know it isn’t that easy, but I want to help you recover. I don’t like when you’re hurting.” He stood up and walked over to me. I looked up at him, tears threatening to spill.
“I…” He cut me off by kissing me. My heart exploded into a million tiny butterflies, fireworks, hell it was an atomic bomb that went off. We broke the kiss and he rested his forehead on mine.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” My head was spinning from that kiss, or the lack of food. All I know is, I didn’t get the chance to answer, and I hit the floor and passed out.
I’m so tired. Louis took me on the best date of my life. We had just gotten off the London Eye and now we were heading to the car. I yawned, Louis put his arm around me and smiled down at me. We got back to his car and he opened the car door for me. He was perfect. I had almost forgotten about Mark…I miss him. I felt tears in my eyes.
“What is it, love? Did I do something?” Louis asked, he seemed nervous.
“No, no, tonight was perfect. My mind just wandered off to my ex. I’m sorry.” I sighed. Way to go Anna, you just ruined the whole night.
“I’m sorry, was it too soon?” He asked apologetically.
“NO! Oh my god, you are perfect Lou, you really are. It’s me, I fuck up everything.” I looked down.
“Love, you do not.”
“How?”
“Tonight, every time you smiled, you lit up my world, you made me so happy when you agreed to go out with me.” He rubbed my knee. I was crying by this point. He brought me into a hug. Though it was awkward due to being in the car.
“Thank you.” I whispered.
“No problem.”
“When do you go on tour?” I asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“Two weeks.” He sighed.
“What?” I asked, noticing he didn’t seem happy.
“Because, I met this amazing girl and now I have to leave her…” He sighed.
“Who is she?” I looked down.
“You.”
“Me?” I was shocked. Mark never said things like that…come to think about it…he never really said anything to me that was remotely sweet.
Louis’s P.O.V
She really didn’t see herself as amazing or anything like that? How? This Mark guy should have told her that. I would tell her that every day.
“He never told you stuff like that…did he?” I asked. She nodded. I was shocked.
“Well, I mean he did in the beginning, but then it became a rare thing…like only if he felt like telling me. So I stopped believing it…I mean my parents told me I was shit…my dad emotionally abused me, my mom did as well…my brothers all moved out at 18 and I was left alone. Niall was my only friend…then we moved to Australia and it just got worse. I met Mark there and well he was different in the beginning…then the emotional abuse started…” She was crying by this point. I had pulled over so we had more time to talk.
“I ran away…my parents told me I wasn’t worth anything…they blamed Mark’s death on me…his mom said the same thing…” I hugged her.
“Louis…am I a terrible person?” She asked out of the blue.
“No, absolutely not!” I pulled her closer. I felt her tears soaking my shirt.
“Sorry about your shirt.” She mumbled.
“No worries love.” I smiled down at her.
“Can I stay at your guys place again?” She asked.
“Of course.” I kissed the top of her head. I looked at the time, it was half past twelve.
“Come one, let’s get back.” I smiled at her, she nodded. The rest of the way she was quiet, by the time we got back, she was asleep. I shook my head and chuckled. I got out, shut my door softly so I wouldn’t wake her. I then came to her side and lifted her out gently, using my hip to close the door.
Anna’s P.O.V
I woke up in Louis’s arms. I had been crying last night and then ended up falling asleep in the car. I don’t even know why he stayed with me. Who am I kidding? I have fallen hard for Louis Tomlinson. I moved his arm and sat up.
“Good morning beautiful.” Louis yawned sitting up next to me. I smiled at him.
“Morning.” My stomach growled.
“Someone’s hungry.” He chuckled.
“No, my stomach likes to think I am though.” I shrugged. I ate too much yesterday. I couldn’t eat today dammit.
“Well you’re still going to eat a roll or something.” He looked at me. I rolled my eyes and went downstairs.
“Well look who stayed over again?” Zayn wriggled his eyebrows. This time it was I that threw the biscuit at him.
“Shut your face.” I said. I grabbed my bag made my way to the door. I might as well walk home. I was going to avoid eating.
“Where are you going? You haven’t eaten breakfast!” Niall yelled, running to block the door.
“I have to get my medicine.” I looked at him.
“What happened to your arm?” He looked at my wrist. It was still bandaged.
“Cats.” I stated.
“You’re deathly allergic, try again.” Niall crossed his arms. By this point Louis was downstairs and the boys were listening.
“Got over my allergy.” I retorted.
“No, your mum told me last week you’re still allergic.”
“What the hell does my mom know?!” I yelled. Niall looked frightened by my sudden outburst. I just needed my blade. Fuck.
“Anna…are you okay?” Harry asked.
“Yes, I am fine.” I turned towards him.
“What medicine do you need?” Zayn asked me.
“My medicine. You don’t need to know, Zayn.” I stated. I turned back to Niall.
“You going to let me go home now?” I asked. He sighed and stepped away from the door. I nodded and walked out.
“Anna! Wait, let me drive you home.” Louis yelled. I turned and waited. He ran outside and stopped next to me.
“So what was that about?” Louis asked as we pulled up to my flat.
“Niall wouldn’t let me leave. I need to take my medicine.” I lied.
“Can I come in?” I nodded. He followed me and sat on the bar stool.
“Want some tea, water, anything?” I asked, grabbing my medicine from the cabinet.
“No, I’m okay. Thank you though.” He smiled.
“You wanted to ask me a question?” I asked him. He was staring into space. I could see the wheels turning and I knew he was wondering some stuff.
“Why are you afraid?” He asked.
“What?” I jumped at his question.
“Too tell someone what the marks really are on your arm?” He motioned to my wrist.
“It isn’t that easy, Louis. I knew you figured it out, hence why I told you all that last night.” I looked down. Mark always yelled when I cut.
“I know it isn’t that easy, but I want to help you recover. I don’t like when you’re hurting.” He stood up and walked over to me. I looked up at him, tears threatening to spill.
“I…” He cut me off by kissing me. My heart exploded into a million tiny butterflies, fireworks, hell it was an atomic bomb that went off. We broke the kiss and he rested his forehead on mine.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” My head was spinning from that kiss, or the lack of food. All I know is, I didn’t get the chance to answer, and I hit the floor and passed out.
Notes
Hey guys,Two updates for my lack of existence. I just started college and am already swamped with homework. Feedback would be nice. I have some questions:
1. Do you think it was too soon to start a relationship for Anna and Louis?
2. Am I moving things too fast?
3. What would you like to see in the next chapters coming up? (i.e. more history on Anna, more about Mark...etc)
I take criticism very well so please don't be afraid. Tell me what you feel! <3
@irishdimples
<3 Thanks hun.
I cried writing it
1/15/14