It Takes Patience
Chapter 35: Backtrack
*Reagan’s POV*
Six a.m., I woke up this morning at six a.m. I had been drifting in and out of sleep but this time when I woke up there was no trying to make myself rest again. I got out of bed quietly in order to not wake Channel and went to the bathroom. When I looked at myself in the mirror my eyes were swollen and red from crying. Is it even possible to cry in your sleep? I got in the shower, made breakfast, and tried to watch television, but nothing seemed to put my nerves at ease. Nothing made my mind stop racing.
I sat staring at the television before I turned on my phone. When it vibrated from all the alerts that I had received from the night before, my heart raced and I was sure that it would jump out of my chest. Channel had turned my phone off so I could get some sleep without being interrupted and I couldn’t bring myself to look at the screen, what if he had called or texted? I took a deep breath before I checked it and there were ten missed calls and four text messages. None of them were from Harry, but they were all about him.
From: Niall
Reagan have you seen Harry?!
From: Liam
Reagan sorry to bother you, but Harry’s mom is worried sick about him. Do you know where he might have run off to?
From: Unknown
Reagan it’s Zayn call us back please Harry’s gone!
From: Unknown
Hey, this is Louis we need to talk to you and its serious! Give one of us a ring when you get this.
I scrolled through my contacts without checking my voicemails. If they were anything like the text I don’t know if I would be able to hold myself together. What did Zayn mean he was gone?! I called Niall as Channel woke up and came to join me on the couch. Niall answered on the third ring.
“Reagan?! We’ve been trying to call you all night!” Niall shouted and I instantly felt guilt-ridden. I should have left my phone on.
“I’m sorry Niall, what’s going on? What happened?”
“We know that Harry told you what happened last night. His mum called us so upset cause he ran out in the state that he did. We told her that he was here with us at the party and that we would bring him back home t’day t’ try an calm her down but he’s not here! We know it was a stupid idea but we thought we could find him. We left our own party and tried t’ look for em and we looked all night but we don’t know where he is! We don’t want em t’ go back to the hospital. He doesn’t need t’ go back there. If he does we’re sure he’ll shut down again.” Niall spoke quickly and I could tell that he was worried.
“I’m sorry Niall. I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know where he is either. When I left I came straight home. Does he have his car with him?” I forced myself to keep calm though on the inside my concern was getting the best of me.
“We drove past his house a few times and it’s not there so we’re assuming so. Please help us Reagan!” I stood up as tears filled my eyes again. Channel looked at me concerned and confused as I rushed to my room and threw on some clothes. I gave Niall my address and when I got off of the phone with him, I explained to Channel that I was going to go with him to try and find H. before it got too late in the day.
“Are you sure this is a good idea Reagan? I think you need to think this through.”
“It’s my fault he ran off in the first place Channel! I owe him at least this much to give him a chance before the hospital finds out. If his friends can’t find him and he doesn’t show to his session at 5 the hospital will set out a search for him, I’ll get kicked off my internship and they’ll lock him away for another few years before they even consider letting him out again. Besides, maybe I can do what you said and try to find out why he did it.” I figured that the ongoing emotion that I would feel throughout the rest of the day would be guilt. Channel came all this way to come and visit me and here I am leaving her again.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“I don’t want you to get mixed into this if you don’t have to be...”
“Well it’s a little too damn late for that isn’t it Rea?!” Channel grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt to put on and even though she was mad, I was happy that she was coming with me.
When Niall got to my apartment, we rushed downstairs. Channel and I climbed into his Range Rover to find that Louis, Zayn, and Liam were also all in the car. The ride was awkward. I felt that they all blamed me for Harry’s disappearance and the worst part is they would be right in doing so.
“We’ve looked here twice already! He’s not here Niall!” Louis shouted agitated.
“Well I don’t know where else t’ go! No one has suggested anything better!”
“How old is his car?” I asked meekly not wanting to be caught in the line of fire. Niall eyed me through the rear view mirror and shrugged before Louis answered the question.
“He got it when he turned 16 and it was new then, 2010 I think. Why?” Louis was still agitated, but seemingly interested in hearing a different idea.
“Do you guys have a version of onstar here in London? If you do then we can track the car at least to get an idea where he is. If it’s a 2010 it may be a possibility...” I trailed off and Liam took out his phone dialing a number. Everyone looked at him intently as he spoke.
“Yes hello, I’m calling because I believe my car was stolen last night...Harry E. Styles...No, I know it’s silly but I actually left my license in the car and I unfortunately don’t remember the number...My mother’s surname is Cox... Anne Cox...Correct...It’s the 2010 model. The car is in Holmes Chapel? No, no need to alert the authorities I know who has it now. It’s not stolen after all, silly me. Thank you much, bye!” When Liam hung up the phone, everyone seemed somewhat relieved.
“That’s three hours away! We won’t get there until around eleven and then we have t’ drive back!”
“Yeah but at least we know where he is now. I hope you girls are ready for a road trip.” Channel and I looked at each other confused but didn’t push the matter. An hour and a Half into the drive, Zayn, Liam, and Channel had fallen asleep leaving Niall, Louis and myself awake.
“Are you proper cramped up back there?” Louis turned to me from the passenger seat and asked.
“It’s fine” My legs were numb and I didn’t have much elbow room but I didn’t want to complain. Louis grinned at me and gave me a look that said he knew that I was lying.
“Well it will be better when we get to Harry. Then some of us can ride in his car at least.” A lump formed in my throat at the idea of riding in the car with Harry. I want to find him to make sure he’s okay, but I don’t think that I will be able to be in closed proximity with him yet. Seeing him will probably be too much for me by itself. My curiosity got the best of me when I asked Louis why Harry would come to Holmes Chapel and Niall began to answer me.
“He used t’ live there it’s where he-”
“Niall!” Louis cut him off and shook his head slightly.
“It would probably be better if you found that out from Harry himself, babe. We’ll be there shortly.” I looked out the window and took in the country side to calm myself from thoughts of H. before falling asleep. It felt as if I had only been asleep for ten minutes when I was woken up by Zayn to be informed that we were in a county called Cheshire.
We drove for fifteen more minutes until we pulled up in front of a house and stopped behind Harry’s car. I could barely breathe, but I felt a comforting squeeze of my hand and I looked over at Channel who faintly smiled at me. The boys had jumped out of the car to look into Harry’s but they found no one. I began to worry when I remembered what I read about bipolar disorder and how people who had it tend to deal with their emotions. What if he had hurt himself? The thought made me feel as if I would be physically ill when Louis snapped me out of it.
“I know where he is!” He began to run behind the house and over a hill into a field and had Liam and Zayn follow behind him. Niall stayed with me and Channel and I found myself pacing back and forth while Channel talked with Niall. Five minutes later, Liam, Louis, and Zayn came back supporting a very intoxicated Harry as he stumbled down the hill. My heart stopped when I saw him, but my eyes wouldn’t let me look away. He was dirty and his eyes were sunken into his beautifully chiseled face. He looked exhausted and when they finally reached us Liam made Harry wrap his arm around his neck so that he could put him into the back seat of his car. I breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t stop and didn’t seem to notice that I was there.
“We should head back. I’ll drive Harry’s car and we can split up so we can have more space. Do you want to ride with me and Lou Reagan? Channel you can ride with us too.” I looked over at Channel and before I could answer, she did so for me.
“Actually I would like to spread out in the backseat and go to sleep. There won’t be any room for me there and Zayn is riding in the passenger seat leaving me plenty of room in Niall’s car. I’ll ride with them.” I shot Channel a death glare, but I know I deserve her provoking me. Liam unlocked the doors and my legs pulled me towards the back seat even though Louis offered me the front. When I opened the door, Harry was knocked out from the liquor. I took a deep breath and got into the car, lifting his head to lay it on my lap.
We drove in silence except for the sound of the radio. Everyone was too physically and mentally tried to speak. I looked down at Harry and hesitantly ran my hand through his hair as he slept. He looked peaceful and distraught at the same time and for the first time since last night; my mind was put at ease.
Six a.m., I woke up this morning at six a.m. I had been drifting in and out of sleep but this time when I woke up there was no trying to make myself rest again. I got out of bed quietly in order to not wake Channel and went to the bathroom. When I looked at myself in the mirror my eyes were swollen and red from crying. Is it even possible to cry in your sleep? I got in the shower, made breakfast, and tried to watch television, but nothing seemed to put my nerves at ease. Nothing made my mind stop racing.
I sat staring at the television before I turned on my phone. When it vibrated from all the alerts that I had received from the night before, my heart raced and I was sure that it would jump out of my chest. Channel had turned my phone off so I could get some sleep without being interrupted and I couldn’t bring myself to look at the screen, what if he had called or texted? I took a deep breath before I checked it and there were ten missed calls and four text messages. None of them were from Harry, but they were all about him.
From: Niall
Reagan have you seen Harry?!
From: Liam
Reagan sorry to bother you, but Harry’s mom is worried sick about him. Do you know where he might have run off to?
From: Unknown
Reagan it’s Zayn call us back please Harry’s gone!
From: Unknown
Hey, this is Louis we need to talk to you and its serious! Give one of us a ring when you get this.
I scrolled through my contacts without checking my voicemails. If they were anything like the text I don’t know if I would be able to hold myself together. What did Zayn mean he was gone?! I called Niall as Channel woke up and came to join me on the couch. Niall answered on the third ring.
“Reagan?! We’ve been trying to call you all night!” Niall shouted and I instantly felt guilt-ridden. I should have left my phone on.
“I’m sorry Niall, what’s going on? What happened?”
“We know that Harry told you what happened last night. His mum called us so upset cause he ran out in the state that he did. We told her that he was here with us at the party and that we would bring him back home t’day t’ try an calm her down but he’s not here! We know it was a stupid idea but we thought we could find him. We left our own party and tried t’ look for em and we looked all night but we don’t know where he is! We don’t want em t’ go back to the hospital. He doesn’t need t’ go back there. If he does we’re sure he’ll shut down again.” Niall spoke quickly and I could tell that he was worried.
“I’m sorry Niall. I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know where he is either. When I left I came straight home. Does he have his car with him?” I forced myself to keep calm though on the inside my concern was getting the best of me.
“We drove past his house a few times and it’s not there so we’re assuming so. Please help us Reagan!” I stood up as tears filled my eyes again. Channel looked at me concerned and confused as I rushed to my room and threw on some clothes. I gave Niall my address and when I got off of the phone with him, I explained to Channel that I was going to go with him to try and find H. before it got too late in the day.
“Are you sure this is a good idea Reagan? I think you need to think this through.”
“It’s my fault he ran off in the first place Channel! I owe him at least this much to give him a chance before the hospital finds out. If his friends can’t find him and he doesn’t show to his session at 5 the hospital will set out a search for him, I’ll get kicked off my internship and they’ll lock him away for another few years before they even consider letting him out again. Besides, maybe I can do what you said and try to find out why he did it.” I figured that the ongoing emotion that I would feel throughout the rest of the day would be guilt. Channel came all this way to come and visit me and here I am leaving her again.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“I don’t want you to get mixed into this if you don’t have to be...”
“Well it’s a little too damn late for that isn’t it Rea?!” Channel grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt to put on and even though she was mad, I was happy that she was coming with me.
When Niall got to my apartment, we rushed downstairs. Channel and I climbed into his Range Rover to find that Louis, Zayn, and Liam were also all in the car. The ride was awkward. I felt that they all blamed me for Harry’s disappearance and the worst part is they would be right in doing so.
“We’ve looked here twice already! He’s not here Niall!” Louis shouted agitated.
“Well I don’t know where else t’ go! No one has suggested anything better!”
“How old is his car?” I asked meekly not wanting to be caught in the line of fire. Niall eyed me through the rear view mirror and shrugged before Louis answered the question.
“He got it when he turned 16 and it was new then, 2010 I think. Why?” Louis was still agitated, but seemingly interested in hearing a different idea.
“Do you guys have a version of onstar here in London? If you do then we can track the car at least to get an idea where he is. If it’s a 2010 it may be a possibility...” I trailed off and Liam took out his phone dialing a number. Everyone looked at him intently as he spoke.
“Yes hello, I’m calling because I believe my car was stolen last night...Harry E. Styles...No, I know it’s silly but I actually left my license in the car and I unfortunately don’t remember the number...My mother’s surname is Cox... Anne Cox...Correct...It’s the 2010 model. The car is in Holmes Chapel? No, no need to alert the authorities I know who has it now. It’s not stolen after all, silly me. Thank you much, bye!” When Liam hung up the phone, everyone seemed somewhat relieved.
“That’s three hours away! We won’t get there until around eleven and then we have t’ drive back!”
“Yeah but at least we know where he is now. I hope you girls are ready for a road trip.” Channel and I looked at each other confused but didn’t push the matter. An hour and a Half into the drive, Zayn, Liam, and Channel had fallen asleep leaving Niall, Louis and myself awake.
“Are you proper cramped up back there?” Louis turned to me from the passenger seat and asked.
“It’s fine” My legs were numb and I didn’t have much elbow room but I didn’t want to complain. Louis grinned at me and gave me a look that said he knew that I was lying.
“Well it will be better when we get to Harry. Then some of us can ride in his car at least.” A lump formed in my throat at the idea of riding in the car with Harry. I want to find him to make sure he’s okay, but I don’t think that I will be able to be in closed proximity with him yet. Seeing him will probably be too much for me by itself. My curiosity got the best of me when I asked Louis why Harry would come to Holmes Chapel and Niall began to answer me.
“He used t’ live there it’s where he-”
“Niall!” Louis cut him off and shook his head slightly.
“It would probably be better if you found that out from Harry himself, babe. We’ll be there shortly.” I looked out the window and took in the country side to calm myself from thoughts of H. before falling asleep. It felt as if I had only been asleep for ten minutes when I was woken up by Zayn to be informed that we were in a county called Cheshire.
We drove for fifteen more minutes until we pulled up in front of a house and stopped behind Harry’s car. I could barely breathe, but I felt a comforting squeeze of my hand and I looked over at Channel who faintly smiled at me. The boys had jumped out of the car to look into Harry’s but they found no one. I began to worry when I remembered what I read about bipolar disorder and how people who had it tend to deal with their emotions. What if he had hurt himself? The thought made me feel as if I would be physically ill when Louis snapped me out of it.
“I know where he is!” He began to run behind the house and over a hill into a field and had Liam and Zayn follow behind him. Niall stayed with me and Channel and I found myself pacing back and forth while Channel talked with Niall. Five minutes later, Liam, Louis, and Zayn came back supporting a very intoxicated Harry as he stumbled down the hill. My heart stopped when I saw him, but my eyes wouldn’t let me look away. He was dirty and his eyes were sunken into his beautifully chiseled face. He looked exhausted and when they finally reached us Liam made Harry wrap his arm around his neck so that he could put him into the back seat of his car. I breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t stop and didn’t seem to notice that I was there.
“We should head back. I’ll drive Harry’s car and we can split up so we can have more space. Do you want to ride with me and Lou Reagan? Channel you can ride with us too.” I looked over at Channel and before I could answer, she did so for me.
“Actually I would like to spread out in the backseat and go to sleep. There won’t be any room for me there and Zayn is riding in the passenger seat leaving me plenty of room in Niall’s car. I’ll ride with them.” I shot Channel a death glare, but I know I deserve her provoking me. Liam unlocked the doors and my legs pulled me towards the back seat even though Louis offered me the front. When I opened the door, Harry was knocked out from the liquor. I took a deep breath and got into the car, lifting his head to lay it on my lap.
We drove in silence except for the sound of the radio. Everyone was too physically and mentally tried to speak. I looked down at Harry and hesitantly ran my hand through his hair as he slept. He looked peaceful and distraught at the same time and for the first time since last night; my mind was put at ease.
I have read this story loads of times just wish you had finished it it is absolutely amazing. So so good
8/18/18