When I woke the next day it was gone midday, and I needed to call the university to explain why I wasn’t there. I had completely forgot about classes and such when I had run out. I went to get my phone to call, but it was full of missed calls and texts, I began to panic. Had something happened to Tabby while I was passed out? I opened up my call log but to my relief all my calls were from Harry and Louis. I decided to leave listening to my voice mail until later. I didn’t really want to hear what he had to say, I was still tired and grumpy. There was a faint smell of coffee wafting up the stairs and never in my life had I wanted a cup more, or a cigarette.

I dragged myself from my bed and made my way to the kitchen where the delightful scent was coming from. My mum was sat at the table looking exhausted and Pete, my step-dad, was making breakfast.

“How’s Tabby?” I asked groggily as I took a seat opposite my mother. I finally got a good look at her and I couldn’t help but wince slightly. She looked rough to say the least….She had bags beneath her eyes, and her hair was such a mess she looked like she had been dragged through a hedge backwards, her usual flawless ivory skin was blotchy and shallow. She almost looked like a corpse.

“She has an infection. She’s really sick Amelia. They think she’s going to be okay, she’s fighting it, but it was a little touch and go for a while.” Pete replied sombrely. I felt my body tense; she couldn’t get any more sick. I needed her to be okay.

“Why didn’t you call me?” I took a sip of the steaming black coffee that was put in front of me and grimaced. I really hated this stuff…but there was just something so addictive about it.

“You were exhausted, you needed to sleep. I was going to come and get you if things got worse, but she started getting better.” Pete set down a plate in front of me. I couldn’t help but smile a little at the English breakfast arranged in the shape of a smiley face. He’d done it for me all the time as a teenager, and I’d always pretended I hated it, but I loved it.

I hadn’t realised how hungry I was until I started eating, and before I knew it I was helping myself to seconds. “I’m going to go and get dressed and then I’m going to go back to the hospital.” I said as I walked around the table to pull my mum into a hug. She looked like she needed one. I knew how scared I was for Tabby, but I can’t imagine being in her position. I felt her begin to sob gently against me. I pulled her tighter. Pete was gripping the side so tight his knuckles were going white. Tabby was his only child, and if something happened to her I don’t think he’d know what to do. I knew he counted me and Jenna as his too, but he’d been there her whole life, she was his baby.

Eventually I let my mum go to go and get dressed. She was still crying, but now Pete was hugging her. I felt guilty leaving her, but I wanted to be there for Tabby. I was going to stop off on town to get her some stuff. I figured she might want a teddy and some books and games. I wasn’t sure how long she’d be in hospital and after that, bed ridden.


I picked her up a giant wolf teddy, because like me they were her favourite animals, and some cards, and a game of connect four. I stopped by Waterstones and picked up the Harry Potter boxset and a few things she could read to herself.

When I got to the hospital she was awake, but she was tired. She barely had any energy. She asked for mum and her dad, and I let her know they’d be along shortly. The truth is, mum needed to sleep otherwise she wasn’t going to be any help to anyone.

I began to read her the first Harry Potter, but it didn’t take her long to fall asleep. I decided now was a good time to go and read my texts and check my voicemail. When I got out the hospital I found a bench to go and sit on. I checked the texts first.

Please, just talk to me? I didn’t want to offend you!

Dude, Harry is going mental, what did you say to him?

Seriously Melia, he’s shouting about upsetting you and being a douche, what’s going on?

Okay I think he just threw his iPad across the bus and broke it, please PLEASE tell me what is going on?

I don’t know how to make this better, please tell me what I can do to make this up to you?

I felt slightly guilty, I even had a text from Liam asking what I’d said to Harry. Did Harry really care that much that I wasn’t talking to him?

I decided now was an appropriate time to check my voicemail, but I knew I wouldn’t like it.

‘It’s Harry, please Amelia, I just want what’s best for you and I know how hard it is out there and I had the guys. I just want you to consider it more. It has nothing to do with how much faith I have in you, or how strong I think you are. Please just call me back.’

I did feel slightly bad, I was tired last night and I had got mad at him for trying to be a good friend. He hadn’t meant to hurt me, he was just looking out for me.

The next voicemail was from Louis.

‘Are you stupid? I FINALLY managed to get what happened out of Harry by the way. I mean it are you stupid? All that boy does is look out for you and go out of his way to help you. Do you know how much he had to beg for that helicopter? Or let’s talk about this James character? Do you know how much it’s taken him not to say something to you about it, or not to do his research on him to make sure he’s a good guy, because he cares so much about you! I’ve known him for three years now, and almost every time we talk about his childhood we talk about you. He cares about you more than you could ever imagine, and he cares about you a lot more than you care about him, that much is obvious. When he said what he did last night he was just looking out for you like he always does and you go and throw everything he does back in his face? What is wrong with you Amelia? I like you, and I think you’re a great person, but he’s my best friend and I can’t stand seeing him like this. Especially not when it’s just because you’re being stubborn and pig headed. Jesus Amelia, get your head out of your arse.

I didn’t even bother to try and stop the tears from falling. I really was an awful person and last night had proved it. I’d treated Harry so badly, and I hadn’t even cared. Louis was right, I didn’t care about Harry as much as he cared about me, but it wasn’t because I didn’t love him. It was because I was selfish and I didn’t think about anyone or anything but myself. I never thought about all the things Harry had done for me, especially over the past few weeks. He’d been seen with loads of random girls, just so people stopped talking about me, earning himself a reputation as a man whore and that was all for me and he hated it, but he’d done it anyway.

I was just about to pull out my phone to call him when I felt someone sit next to me on the bench. It was an elderly gentleman. He had a cane and a flat cap, like a farmer, but he must have been about seventy. “Are you okay, darling?” he asked patiently. His eyes had an aura of kindness and without warning I burst out into tears again. He reached over hesitantly to put a comforting hand on my arm, but it only made me sob harder. Something about a kind stranger broke my heart.

I managed to calm my breathing enough to talk. “I hurt my best friend and all because I got mad when he was just looking out for me.” I felt so pathetic letting all this out to a stranger.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked me so I explained it all to him, even the part about the helicopter. He stared at me slightly wide eyed as I told him about it all, only leaving out who Harry was. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him as such, just that I didn’t want to risk it. Not for Harry’s sake anyway. The old man sat patiently and listened whilst I rambled on about my selfish ways. He didn’t interrupt me once, merely nodding as I talked.

When I finally finished he didn’t say anything for a moment, he was thinking of something to say.
“You need to apologise to him, but more than that you need to show him how much he means to you. It’s clear to me that he is important to you, but from what I can gather it isn’t clear to him. Life is too short to argue over petty things with people you care about. Especially someone who cares about you as much as he clearly does. Don’t ruin whatever it is you have with him. People who care about you that much don’t come along very often, so when they do you need to hold on to them and don’t let them go. Trust me, I’m learning that too late.” he sighed sadly.

“I don’t know how to show him, I’m not good at showing people that they matter to me. I can barely tell them. I just wish that he could understand that I care, but I’m just a completely irrational person. I say and do things that make no sense and I hurt people I don’t want to. I just want him to know I don’t mean to hurt him...it’s just my feeble attempt at stopping people from getting close to me. I just can’t imagine my life without him. I used to think he was just like some annoying cousin that I couldn’t get rid of, but now he’d my best friend and someone I can’t live without. Him and his friends are the only people I have in my life by choice...everyone else has left me. I can’t let go of him, but that doesn’t stop him letting go of me. Why are you learning too late? Surely it’s never too late?”

There was something so sad about him and I just wanted to lean over and hug him. “You’ll think of someway to show him. If he matters as much as you say, you’ll figure it out. Even if it’s something small, he’ll appreciate it. I wouldn’t worry too much about him walking out on you either, it seems to me that you matter too much to him. You don’t just walk out on someone you spend that much money on. No matter how much money you have. Even if he hadn’t spent that much money on you, you don’t go that far out of your way for someone you don’t care about deeply. He’s not letting go anytime soon, don’t worry. My wife and I, we met when we were kids. I was a lot like you. I loved her, but I got scared and I ran away. We were inseparable, and people used to comment on it a lot. As my feelings grew for her I got more and more scared, and then after we started dating I knew we were headed to being married. I was about your age and I got scared. I had so much more living to do. So I ran. Ten years later I came back, I still loved her, but she had moved on. I was lucky, things didn’t work out with her partner because she realised she still loved me. I got my happily ever after, but I can’t help but regret those ten years we didn’t have together. They were such a waste, and I’m only realising that now as she’s on her deathbed. Ten years is a long time and we could have done so much with that time. It’s selfish but all I want is more time with her. She means the absolute world to me; she's my best friend, the only woman I have ever loved. All I can say is, don’t make the same mistake I made. Don’t run.” I couldn’t help myself, I leaned over and embraced him. There was something so wise, yet fragile about him. I needed to make things up with Harry, not just for myself and Harry but for this man.

“If you hadn’t spent that time apart though you would have been different people and there is nothing to guarantee that you would still be together. You could have grown tired of each other, or thought the grass was greener on the other side. Maybe splitting up was the only reason you got this much time with her. You have to look at the brighter side. You still spent your lives together. You were still happy and in love and that’s what matters. Harry and I aren’t like that though, we’re just friends. I don’t have those feelings for him. I never will. I don’t know how not to run, I don’t even know I’m doing it until it’s too late most the time. Even though Harry and I aren’t in love with each other, things are so intense between us. I’ve never had a friend like him. It scares me. He does so much for me, he cares for me so much and I’m just not used to it and it scares me more than I want to admit. I don’t deserve him caring about me that much, so I run. It’s better for him I guess, pushing him away is better for him. That’s stupid right? If he did that to me I‘d probably kill him.” I chuckled darkly.

“Maybe you’re right, but right now it’s hard to see it that way. Please just don’t run, because even if it ends up being for the best, you’ll regret it always. It sounds to me like this boy doesn’t care if you deserve him, he just cares about you. Just apologise to him, make it up to him. You don’t want to lose a friend like that. They don’t come around all that often, when they do you’re going to want to hold on to them. If I were you I wouldn’t waste any time on that apology.” he smiled at me gently with encouragement and I nodded. “I hope I was of some help to you my dear.”

“You were. Thank you so much. Now go get back to your wife! No wasting time remember?” I smirked, standing as he did. I leant over pulling him into a hug. I didn’t have very good personal boundaries and I probably should have asked him if it was okay first but he hugged me back anyway. He wished me luck and disappeared back inside the hospital.

I didn’t phone Harry right away. I wanted to think about what I wanted to say first, and finally I plucked up the courage. I wasn’t sure what to expected him to say, but when he picked up the phone my mind went blank and I couldn’t say anything. It was as if I knew that the second I opened my mouth I was going to fail. Instead I held my breath and waited for him to speak first. When he finally started talking it wasn’t what I was expecting...

Notes

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=99133152

Sorry this took so long to get out! D: It's not the best chapter...sorry. The next Chapter is from Harry's POV so I hope you guys are okay with that. If not then let me know! :p I finally have this all planned out so I know where it's going now, but I'm more than open to suggestions! :D PLEASE give me feedback peeps! Just let me know where I'm going right and wrong.