"What's wrong?" I could barely speak. I don't think I'd ever been more scared in my life. If something had happened with Tabby I wasn't sure I could cope.

"We're not sure; she just started complaining of stomach pains. She couldn't stand up. The doctors don't know what's wrong, but she's been asking for you." I could hear the tears in my mum’s voice and I wasn't sure what I could do.

"I'll be there as quickly as I can." I hung up not waiting for her to say anything else. "I'm sorry, I have to go, my sisters in hospital." Tears were filling my eyes and I was so scared that something bad was going to happen before I could get there.

"Is she going to be okay?" He seemed genuinely concerned and it was nice.

"I have no idea, but I really need to go. I'm so sorry!" I went to run off but stopped. "Wait you wanted to ask me something?"

"I'll talk about it when you get back. Your sister is more important." He smiled sadly.

I was packing my bags when I heard my phone going off. "Harry I don't have time for this."

"There is a helicopter waiting for you at the airport. I organised it. You can't drive there." He wasn't wasting any time. I went to protest but I realised now was a stupid time to do it.

"You're kidding me right?" I asked as I lugged my suitcase to the car.

"Not in the slightest. I'm sorry I can't be there but I promise as soon as I get back I’ll come and visit her!" He promised. I could feel my eyes tearing up again.

"You have no idea how lucky I am to have you as a friend. Thank you Harry." I sobbed.

"Just give her my love okay?" His voice was tight and I knew he was about to cry. Harry was a very emotional person and he'd always been very passionate. It was part of what I loved about him. He'd do anything for anyone at a drop of a hat. He just wanted to make everyone better, make the world a better place.

"How did you know?" It suddenly occurred to me that he knew almost as quickly as I had and I hadn't told him.


"Gemma just phoned me. She was with Amelia when she got the call." Of course.

"Well thank you Harry." With that I hung up and made my way to the airport. When I got there there was a helicopter waiting for me like promised.

"Mr Styles has it arranged so we will drop you on the hospital roof. I hope your sister is okay." The pilot informed me through the headphones.

"Thank you." Harry was the best person I knew. It couldn't have been easy to get permission to land on the hospital roof but he had.

The what should have been a four hour journey was going to take only thirty minutes. I could feel my stomach doing flips and turns, and I thought I was going to be sick. I’d never been more scared in my life. If anything happened to her I didn’t know what I would do. I mean logically I knew there was probably nothing wrong with her, but at the same time, what if there was? I wasn’t sure I could cope with that. I didn’t have too long to think though before I was landing on the roof of the hospital, there was a doctor there waiting to take me down to the room where Tabby was.

“Miss Moderski? If you’ll follow me?” he shouted over the still noisy chopper blades. They hadn’t been allowed to turn the engine off, they had to leave straight away in case there was an emergency.

“Is she okay?” I asked frantically, running to keep up with his long strides.

“We’re not sure what’s wrong, but it’s looking like appendicitis, which is very common. If that’s the case we’ll have to remove her appendix, but after that she’ll be fine. I wouldn’t worry too much.” he was kind, but he was also truthful. There was a bluntness about what he said and I respected he wasn’t going to lie to me. “If it is appendicitis we need to operate soon though, otherwise it can become dangerous.”

“Okay.” What else was there I could really say? I continued to follow the doctor till we arrived on the children’s ward. I could hear Tabby crying from the bed at the far end and I wasted no time in rushing over to her. She was clutching her stomach in tears and I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her everything would be okay, but I didn’t want to hurt her either. I felt my mother pull me into a hug, but I was too shocked to respond.

“How did you get here so quick?” she asked as she pulled away, taking me in.

“I…” It hadn’t occurred to me that she wouldn’t know Harry had got me a helicopter. “Harry, he um, he sent for a helicopter for me.” I muttered. My mother didn’t say anything she just sent a knowing look to my step-dad. I didn’t bother asking, I didn’t want to know.

The doctor came back not long after with her test results. “Well, it looks like appendicitis, so I’ve booked her in for surgery in an hour. I just need you to fill out these permission forms.” he handed my mum and step-dad the forms to sign. I’d never felt more relieved in my life. I’d had all sorts of horrible things racing through my head when they called.

I needed to tell someone so I pulled out my phone and dialled the first number I could think of. “She’s got appendicitis, she’s going to be fine.” I sighed in relief.

“I was so worried! So she’s going to be okay right?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, they’re taking her for surgery in an hour, and she should be fine. They think they’re really lucky, if my mum had waited till tomorrow to come in like she was going to then her appendix would have burst.” Sometimes I was thankful for my mother’s paranoia.

“I’ll come and visit her as soon as I get back, tell her I miss her, but I have to go. I’m glad she’s okay though.” I thanked him again for the helicopter and then let him go. I wasn’t sure what I would do without him. Over the past few months he’d been the best friend, he was always there for me. I never realised how little I had appreciated him as a kid, and it was something I was going to try and fix.

It wasn’t long before Tabby was being taken to the operating room. I knew I shouldn’t worry, but the smell of the hospital made it impossible not to. It was so clinical, and the smell of alcohol gel and chemicals filled my lungs. There was nothing soft or comforting about it. I could hear my mum crying and my step dad trying desperately to calm her. The sound of weak sobs echoed through the corridors, and I knew I couldn’t stay here; it wasn’t helping. Instead I went to get some fresh air. I was feeling suffocated. I knew it wouldn’t be long till my mum was looking for me either and I really couldn’t be around her right now.

Outside wasn’t much better than inside. There were doctors and nurses stood around smoking, and ambulances being rushed in…there had been an accident and four ambulances pulled up one after the other. Half mangled bodies on stretchers rolled past me and I couldn’t help but gag at the sight of broken bones sticking out of skin. It was so unnatural and I felt myself gag. I’d never really been squeamish…my own blood never bothered me, and it wasn’t even other peoples blood that bothered me, it was more the idea of someone being in pain. I’d never been able to cope with the idea of someone being hurt. Even complete strangers, I couldn’t stand it…and as I watched these strangers being wheeled passed me I realised how easy I had had it…my life had been so easy and nothing bad had ever happened to me. I’d never had a broken bone, and in fact the worst thing that had happened to me was Tabby, now. It had never occurred to me how wrapped up in my own little world I had been. Even now, I was lucky compared to so many others. I’d never seen pain and suffering, let alone experienced it.

Harry, am I a selfish person?

I realised it was probably a stupid question, and even if I was he was probably going to lie and tell me I wasn’t. Harry wasn’t one to upset anyone. I didn’t get a reply for a while. Several more ambulances came in the time it took him to reply. None from the same accident though, and none that even compared to the atrocities I had seen from the others.

Selfish isn’t the right word. You’re just very self absorbed, you live in a bubble, and you don’t really consider much outside that bubble…why?

I knew he didn’t mean it in a horrible way, and I knew he was right, but it still hurt.

I just came to this realisation that I have never had anything ‘bad’ happen to me. I’ve never experienced any pain in this world…no loss…death…just I’ve had a pretty amazing life, and it’s made me incredibly selfish…I don’t appreciate it. I just feel like I’m this person I don’t want to be…I want to experience the world. I want to help people, and I’ve been thinking I have all this time, but how can I help people when I have no idea about anything in this world?

You’re over thinking this…you aren’t a bad person, you’ve just been shut off from the rest of the world. We were both really lucky as kids, no one died, and the worst that happened to us was that our parents split up…I was the same, and the only reason I was able to open up my eyes was because of my experiences in Ghana…it was a real eye opener for me. You just need something like that to happen to you. You’re one of the best people I know Amelia. I have no doubt you’re going to make a difference in loads of people’s lives, you just need to experience more of the world before you can reach your full potential and you will.

I wasn’t sure where it came from, but I had an idea, and at the time it seemed like the most genius thing I could ever imagine…and you know when you just get an idea, and you’re so convinced that it’s going to happen, and you’ll do anything to make it happen? I had one of those. The only problem with those ideas is that you are so determined to make them happen that you don’t think them through…

I didn’t think twice before telling Harry, because if any one was going to be supportive of me it was him.

I’m going to go and teach in Ghana for a year when I graduate. I’ll book it through one of those Gap year charities…I’m going to go and experience the world, and help the people who need it the most.

Amelia…it isn’t that simple…teaching these kids…it’s going to be hard on you…you’re going to hear and see things you never thought you would. Things that shouldn’t exist outside of books…and you have to think about how you’re going to be able to cope with it…alone, away from your friends and family…you’re going to have to be stronger than you’ve ever imagined, because these kids…they’re going to need you to be. You’re going to get attached and these kids…they may not come to class one day, and it won’t be because they have a stomach bug…Amelia are you sure this is a good idea?

I frowned at my phone…I thought he was going to be supportive. I felt my eyes prick with tears, but I held them back. Why did I care what he thought anyway? Why did his opinion matter? I wanted to do this and nothing he could say was going to stop me…I knew I could do it, and his distrust in my abilities only fuelled my want for it more. I would prove him wrong…I could do anything I wanted. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I was stronger than he gave me credit for. I was stronger than he was. I was being pig headed and stubborn, but at the time none of that mattered to me. I’d had an idea and I was so set on it that nothing was going to change my mind.

I felt my phone vibrate again, but this time it wasn’t Harry, it was my mum. She was letting me know Tabby was back from her operation. Had I really been gone that long? I didn’t bother with my reply to Harry, I was in a mood with him. Instead I went back to wait for Tabby to wake up. I wanted to be there for her.

“Where have you been?” my mum asked as I sat myself down, by the sleeping Tabby.

I shrugged, “Just getting air.”

“For nearly two hours?” she glowered. I simply shrugged again, causing her to grow more annoyed. I knew she wanted to pester me more, but Tabby began to wake up and I knew she wouldn’t cause a scene in front of her.

When the drugs had worn of Tabby was almost back to her normal happy, bubbly, self. I couldn’t help but laugh when she asked for ice cream. She wasn’t really supposed to be eating yet. Mum certainly didn’t think it was a good idea.

“I’m going to go home and get some sleep.” Tabby had passed out, but mum wanted to stay with her, and the doctors had finally relented. I, however, needed sleep. I was exhausted. I decided to text James, and thank him for the amazing date, and apologise for ruining his birthday. I’d completely forgot about that when I had rushed off.

I’m really sorry I had to rush off, and sorry if it ruined your birthday. Tabby is fine it was only appendicitis. What was it you wanted to ask me anyway? J

I didn’t bother waiting for a reply, it was nearly five in the morning. I didn’t think he’d be awake and honestly I was too exhausted. I needed to sleep, but just as I was drifting to sleep I felt my phone vibrate next to me.

I’m sorry okay? I just don’t want you to get out there and not be able to cope. I’m just looking out for you…please don’t ignore me…

I turned my phone off ignoring the text and went to sleep. I didn’t need someone who didn’t believe in me in my life.

Notes

New update *yay* it's not my best that's for sure...let me know what you all think though. Where do you think this is going? What do you think is going to happen with James? What do you think James was going to ask her? What do you think about Harry renting the helicopter for her? What do you think about her idea? What about her reaction? I like it when you guys give me feedback that I can work with :P I love you guys, and I hate to ask before comments so that I'll update but I'd really like to know what people think so that I know people are actually paying attention to what i write ;)