Forgotten.
Alone again.
I wake to Lux’s cries.
Soft, but desperate.
I roll over. Speak hushed. “I’m coming Luxy. Shubee ‘s here.”
Her tiny voice calls my name. She can’t pronounce it. She calls me Shubee.
“Shubee.”
“Shubee.”
Not mommy. Not daddy. She calls for her sister.
Her mommy is in another room, drinking wine and laughing with the others.
Her daddy is away with his dumb-ass business.
Her parents were living a glamorous lifestyle.
Her sister is here, in the large hotel room, holding one bed, a small kitchen, a booth, a lounge-room and a bathroom. There’s a small space next to the window, over-looking New York City and it’s bright lights, holding her crib.
I flick the light on to see Lux standing up, hands over the sides of her crib, arms open.
“Shubee.”
“Shubee.”
I lift her up. Sit her on my hip.
To be honest, she’s the only one I got.
I love her more than my own mother. My own father.
Lux clings to my pyjamas.
“What is it Luxy?” I ask her, knowing she can’t reply. Knowing she can barely talk. Knowing I can’t ask her for advice, why her mom left us alone in this room tonight, like she always does. But knowing she’s always here for me, to listen.
She opens and closes her baby-fat full fists.
Drink.
I teach Lux signs. Signs that tell me what she needs, what she wants.
I hand her the bottle, and she gulps until its empty.
I burp her.
She hiccups.
I rock her slowly, willing her with soothing harmonies to fall back into sleep.
She’s dozing now. Eyes closed, breathing softly.
I watch her chest.
Up.
Down.
Ever so gently.
I walk over to her crib, and lean forward to gently place her down in it.
Her eyes open immediately, feeling the cold gravity around her, not her sister’s warm chest.
She shakes her head.
No.
“Shubee.”
“Shubee.”
I chuckle and lift her back up into the safety of my arms. The warmth of my chest.
“Yes baby. I guess you can sleep with me.”
Lux claps as I walk over and switch the light out, the only thing illuminating the room is the city lights below.
I lay her by my side as I lift the blanket over us; she places her tiny arms around my forearm, snuggling into me.
“Sleep Shubee. Sleep.”
Soft, but desperate.
I roll over. Speak hushed. “I’m coming Luxy. Shubee ‘s here.”
Her tiny voice calls my name. She can’t pronounce it. She calls me Shubee.
“Shubee.”
“Shubee.”
Not mommy. Not daddy. She calls for her sister.
Her mommy is in another room, drinking wine and laughing with the others.
Her daddy is away with his dumb-ass business.
Her parents were living a glamorous lifestyle.
Her sister is here, in the large hotel room, holding one bed, a small kitchen, a booth, a lounge-room and a bathroom. There’s a small space next to the window, over-looking New York City and it’s bright lights, holding her crib.
I flick the light on to see Lux standing up, hands over the sides of her crib, arms open.
“Shubee.”
“Shubee.”
I lift her up. Sit her on my hip.
To be honest, she’s the only one I got.
I love her more than my own mother. My own father.
Lux clings to my pyjamas.
“What is it Luxy?” I ask her, knowing she can’t reply. Knowing she can barely talk. Knowing I can’t ask her for advice, why her mom left us alone in this room tonight, like she always does. But knowing she’s always here for me, to listen.
She opens and closes her baby-fat full fists.
Drink.
I teach Lux signs. Signs that tell me what she needs, what she wants.
I hand her the bottle, and she gulps until its empty.
I burp her.
She hiccups.
I rock her slowly, willing her with soothing harmonies to fall back into sleep.
She’s dozing now. Eyes closed, breathing softly.
I watch her chest.
Up.
Down.
Ever so gently.
I walk over to her crib, and lean forward to gently place her down in it.
Her eyes open immediately, feeling the cold gravity around her, not her sister’s warm chest.
She shakes her head.
No.
“Shubee.”
“Shubee.”
I chuckle and lift her back up into the safety of my arms. The warmth of my chest.
“Yes baby. I guess you can sleep with me.”
Lux claps as I walk over and switch the light out, the only thing illuminating the room is the city lights below.
I lay her by my side as I lift the blanket over us; she places her tiny arms around my forearm, snuggling into me.
“Sleep Shubee. Sleep.”
@Music13
thanks love x
12/27/13