After Niall leaves I go sit down on the couch. I start to think of all the things people use to say to me "Stop being obsessed!" "Niall will never love you!" "They are just people!" Than I start to think of all the great times we had together within the month we have known each other. About 3 in a half weeks after Niall left, I received no text from him. All the things people have ever said to me to bring me down still haunts me. I remember every words. People always said I would never have a career in soccer. I tried out for a women's professional team and was expecting a call today. A few minutes after 12 pm, I get a call. "Is this Renee Rose?" the person on the phone says. I answer "Yes, this is her." "I am sorry to inform you that you did make the team. I am sorry." the lady says. I hang up the phone. Everything people have said to be is true! I have to work hard! I got a scholarship in soccer for college, and after college, I will never get to play soccer again! I got pulled out of high school a year early! I am only 17! I missed my senior year for nothing! In frustration, I go to the wall and kick it. I leave a big whole in it too. I run around the house screaming Niall's name and breaking everything. After I destroyed most the things I own, I realize I am useless. I destroy things. People will never love me. Niall will never love me. I run upstairs and cry on my bed for awhile. At the tip of my eye, I notice a brand new pack of razors. I open it up and grab one. I run into the bathroom close the door, not locking it because nobody's home and sit in the tub. I take the razor and I hold it in my hand. "I am useless, nobody ever or will love me. Nobody cares about me. Not even my family knew why One Direction were the only ones who made me happy! I've been called a whore, a moron, stupid, slut, ugly, fat, bitch, piece of shit, and pathetic. Why would anybody care for me!?!" I yell to myself. My hand starts to shake as the razor gets close to my arms. "Niall never loved me! He left me for a month, never texted, never called, he didn't do anything! He said he loved me!!!" I take the razor and slice it right across my arm. I did one cut on each arm for all the letters in Niall's 1st and last name. I cut myself 10 times on my arms. On my thighs, I cut each time I've ever been told I can't do something, been called something. I cut myself 12 times on each leg. I wash off the razor and look at myself. As I was about to cut myself one last time on the thigh, I hear the bathroom door open. Niall enters. He stares at me. I look at him. Before he can make it to me in time, I cut myself one last time. He runs over to me and take the razor out of my hand.
*Niall's point of view
I wanted to surprise Renee by coming straight to her house the moment I got back to London. As I enter her house I see nobody. I hear crying coming from the upstairs bathroom and run up there. I find Renee holding a razor and she has blood running down her arms an thighs. I am still in shock when she cuts herself one more time on her thigh. I run over to her, rip the razor out of her hands and throw it out the bathroom window.
*Renee's point of view
After Niall takes the razor from me, he opens the bathroom window and throw the razor through it. He than runs to me and picks me up like his new bride and runs to my bed. He covers me with his hoodie and grabs an old pair of sweatpants from my clothes and puts them on me. "What the hell is wrong with you!" Niall yells. I only start to cry more. He places me up on his lap and calls the boys over. I am able to say, "I couldn't handle it. Everything came back and haunted me.". Than I remember when I was 13, I told myself, one day I will give up hope. Nobody would be able to help me, not even Niall. I guess today was the day that day. The boys arrive and Niall runs downstairs with me in his arms. He runs out the front door and gets in Liam's car. "Drive to the hospital now!!" Niall screams. All the boys are looking at me except Liam, Liam is speeding down the road to the hospital. "What happened!?!" Zayn ask. "I walked into her house to go visit her and I hear her crying in the bathroom. I run upstairs to her and I find her with a razor and she was cutting herself." Niall said. "N-I-A-L-L on the right arm, H-O-R-A-N on the left arm. 12 on one leg and 13 on the other leg, that's for what people have said to me or put me down." I said. I can see him counting the cuts on my arms. "5 for my 1st name, and 5 for my last. Renee, was this because of me?" Niall ask. I respond to him, "Half, the other half was for other people who always said I couldn't make it and for those who out me down.". I can feel warm tears running down my face, but I also feel somebody else tears hitting my face. I look up to see Niall crying just as much as I am. "About what you said earlier in your room, what did you mean?" Niall says trying not to cry anymore. I whisper to him right before I black out, "I gave up on hope."

Notes

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