I looked up into the face of the girl standing in front of me. Her eyes looked distressed as her hand gently rested on my shoulder.

“How did it go?” Louis asked.

Danielle took a seat next to Liam, sending me a sad look before I turned my attention back to Eleanor who removed her hand from my shoulder and took the seat between myself and Louis.

“She didn’t take it well.” Eleanor’s soft voice spoke hesitantly as she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.

I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my head into my hands. Of course it wouldn’t have gone well.

Nothing seemed to go well for me anymore.

“What am I supposed to do?” I begged anyone who had a solution.

Louis’ planned didn’t seem to work as fabulously as he had thought. In the back of my mind I knew it wouldn’t. I knew Dawn and she wasn’t going to take too well to me having lied and then finding out from Eleanor and Danielle but Louis seemed to think that if she just knew what was going on it would all start to work itself out.

He didn’t seem to take into account that she wouldn’t be pleased to realize that everyone knew and she was just now finding out from someone who wasn’t me.

“You need to talk to her Harry.” Liam suggested.

“Where is she now?” I mumbled from behind my hands.

I could hear Eleanor shift beside me and I peeked an eye out between my fingers to look at her uncomfortable expression as she cut her eyes towards Danielle.

I also shifted my eye towards the older girl.

“She ran off the bus and went towards Cameron’s.” Danielle sighed, looking anywhere but at me.

My chest constricted as my hands dropped from my face.

Just great.

“Harry that doesn’t mean anything.” Louis tried to reason from the other side of Eleanor.

I turned my dull eyes towards him. “She’s going to him Louis. Not to me. I lied to her. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what is happening.”

“But you love her.” Niall said quietly from his spot across from me.

I looked down at my hands as they rubbed together, trying to keep myself from crying again. I had done more then enough this morning.

“It’s not enough.” I breathed out, pushing up out of my seat. I was feeling a little crowded at the moment.

I really didn’t want to feel pitying eyes on me any longer anyway.

Without looking up from the ground I silently made my way into the back lounge before closing and locking the door for good measure.

I needed to be alone.

I stood silently in the center of the room, swaying slightly as the bus drove down the road towards our next destination.

My eyes drifted from the scattered clothing lying half hazard across the sofas to the baseball caps Niall had been sorting through earlier, stuffed animals we had collected the night before, shoes, and a few random magazines.

It was a mess, just like my life.

And then something in me snapped.

One minute I stood calmly and the next I was growling incoherent words out as I threw whatever I could reach across the small space.

I could vaguely hear the others race towards the locked door in alarm, their voices shouting at me from the other side while they banged on the door, but I ignored them as I continued to toss things against the walls.

It wasn’t until I had my trembling hands on a book Dawn had left on the bus that I stopped my rampage on the back lounge.

I clutched the small reminder to my forehead as I shut my eyes tightly.

I had spent so much time being afraid to tell her how I felt, so much time thinking if I just kept it in I could keep her around, but here I was, losing her because I tried to keep her.

I should have said something that very first day in the makeup room of the X-factor. I should have told her how funny I thought she was, how beautiful. It wasn’t like I had struggled with girls before that point.

Or maybe I should have told her when I realized I was in love with her, when I held her through the night as she cried over her broken heart.

Perhaps when we were in the hotel room that first night on this tour when I had been dreading her leaving with Cameron because even then I knew he would be different to her.

Mostly I was certain I should have told her when she confided in me her feelings. When she had more courage to tell me how she was feeling then I ever had.

I smacked the paperback book against my head a few times.

All those opportunities, and so many more in between, to say something, anything, and I ignored them.

I couldn’t very well blame her for the way she was feeling. I would be angry too. I did however pray that she would be forgiving and at the very least hear me out.

Because I needed her to hear me out. I needed her.

“HARRY OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!” Louis shouted angrily through the thin barrier.

Dropping my hands down to my side, the book still in my grasp, I took a few deep breaths before slowly turning and opening the door as instructed.

Louis barged through, followed closely by Zayn, Liam and Niall. Eleanor and Danielle stayed back a distance peeking in from there.

Louis stopped dead in the center of the room while I dropped, exhausted, onto the sofa.

Liam looked around the disastrous room and let out a low whistle.

“Jesus.” Niall hissed out looking at the room.

I took a moment to see what I had managed to do.

Not one thing was in place or untouched.

Cushions, pillows, clothes, magazines, shoes... all thrown about, in some cases torn. I hadn’t even realized I had done that.

“Harry?” Zayn questioned with a very concerned tone.

I didn’t look up I just stared at the spot directly in front of my feet. I couldn’t deal with this right now.

I needed Dawn, I always went to Dawn when I couldn’t handle my emotions because she was the only one who I knew wouldn’t judge me.

Then a pain shot through my heart. I went to her with all my emotions except for the love I have for her and that is why I was here in the first place.

I couldn’t go to her.

She didn’t want to talk to me.

Louis sighed, reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Liam asked quietly as he reached down to try and sort out the mess.

Louis looked at me before turning to look at Liam. “Calling Dawn. They need to talk.”

“NO!” I shouted jumping up out of my seat and advancing towards Louis.

He just backed away and behind Liam, out of my reach. He waited a few moments before pulling the phone away from his ear with a defeated look.

“What happened?” I asked despite myself.

Louis looked at me sadly. “Voicemail.”

I nodded. She was smart. She wasn’t going to answer any of our calls, least of all mine.

I knew, I had already tried called her at least thirty times since she raced out of the hotel room this morning.

I fell back into the seat I had been in before.

My mind just couldn’t wrap itself around the thought of how a day that started out so perfectly could turn into this.

“I’ll try.” Liam jumped in gripping his own phone.

I stood again and pointed weakly out the door. “I’m going to lie down.”

I honestly didn’t want to watch as my friends attempted to call the only person I wanted to speak to, only to be sent to voicemail over and over again.

With out another word I walked out of the room, ignoring the saddened looks both girls gave me as I passed them and jumped up into my bunk.

I couldn’t help my sight landing on the one across from mine. Dawn’s bunk.

It was highly likely that she wouldn’t be occupying that space anytime soon, if at all. That thought broke my heart just that much more.

I didn’t move from that spot on my back, staring up at the top of my bunk, curtains sealed around me, for hours.

Even that reminded me of her. On the ceiling of my bunk were multicolored, random shaped foil stickers.

All the little souvenirs, the stickers from the sticker machines at all the random service stations. She always insisted in getting a them and she had to be the one to pull the tab to get it out. We would argue over it like children but I always let her do it in the end and she always let me keep the stickers which had accumulated into the very eclectic collage above my head.

My fingers traced one in the center, the letters “BFF” emblazoned in the foil.

Best friends forever.

It was such a stupid thing, corny even. It was my favorite.

Bff... I didn’t even know if we were still friends.

I smiled bitterly, trying to keep the tears from falling over.

How had we gotten here?

I shut my eyes again, before planting the heels of my palms against them.

I HAD to fix this. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I had to.

She means everything to me and I cannot lose her. I wasn’t going to allow it to happen.

I slid out of the bunk, quietly making my way towards the front.

All eyes watching me as I took a seat and stared out the window at the blurred colors as we speed down the highway. I needed the distraction to clear my head, so I could sort this out.

She was just behind us in another bus, she wasn’t gone yet.

Even if I had waited much longer then I should have, it wasn’t too late yet. Not until she was on another continent then myself.

I still had time, not much but hopefully enough.

Notes

Sorry for the wait. Posting from my phone which is no fun and the reason I'm only posting one chapter and haven't replied to your comments but I will make up for that tomorrow. I hope you guts like angsty Harry. Let me know