The Mess We Became
Dare
“Where are you off to?” I asked as I watched Dawn gather the few belongings she had brought on to our bus last night.
On every other tour she had been on with us she spent the majority of her time on our bus, even having her own bunk. This tour was different. She spent her time divided between ours and Allstar Weekend’s tour bus. She tried to space it evenly, resulting in her not ever spending time on the bus she was assigned to with Jena, Caroline, Caroline’s assistant Christine, and Lisa our tour manager.
I tried to pretend that it didn’t kill me to know she was probably cuddled up to Cameron when she wasn’t sleeping in the bunk across from me.
“Cam wants to watch a movie.” She began to walk away when she suddenly turned. “Why don’t you come?”
There was nothing I would like to do less then go watch her and Cameron be together. I wanted her to be happy, but I didn’t think I could actually watch her be happy with someone else.
“Oh I think I’ll stay here. Lou would miss me too much, no one to cuddle with and all.”
Her eyebrows raised and a smirk played on her lips. “Sometimes it’s hard to remember you two are just joking. You know that right?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Trust me Dawn, Louis is not my type.”
“So you say.” She pointed at me with squinted eyes. “Personally, I think you two are secretly seeing each other.”
I was happy we were back to the banter. Even if my heart still yearned for more, I was happy we could still be like this with each other.
“Well can we at least do something fun tomorrow? I feel like I’ve been neglecting you.”
“You haven’t, babe. I’ve just been very tired. This is the most strenuous show we have put on yet. It wears me out.” Lies. This whole situation was wearing me out.
She looked at me for the longest time, not moving. And then she walked back into the front lounge where I was currently sat. Dropping her backpack onto the ground near my feet she dropped into the sofa next to me and placed her head on my shoulders.
My arm instinctively wrapped around her. “Dee aren’t you going to Cameron’s bus? We’ll be leaving soon.”
She tilted her head up to look at me. It would be so easy to just lean down and kiss her right there, but it would complicate everything.
“I’m going to stay. I’ll call Cameron and let him know. I think, right now, I’d rather be here.”
My heart swelled, but my mind reminded it that it meant nothing other then Dawn was a good friend.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. Anyway, Cameron would have made me watch Anchorman for like the millionth time and I think I might shoot him if I had to sit through that again.”
“Says the girl who can watch Sweet Home Alabama on repeat.”
She slapped my chest and glared up at me. “That’s different.”
“Sure it is love.” My hand drifted up to play with the ends of her hair. “So what are we to do?”
She brought her finger to her chin and twisted her lips in the most adorable way as she thought.
“Can we just sit here and do nothing.” She finally decided.
I smiled and nodded, shutting my eyes.
The idea of doing nothing never seemed so appealing, with Dawn tucked into my side, her cheek resting on my chest and my hand playing in her hair. If I let my mind go blank I could almost pretend this was something else, something more.
“What do we have here?”
My eyes snapped open to find Louis standing in the doorway leading towards the bunks. He was smiling but I could tell he wasn’t pleased with what he saw.
Louis hadn’t been too happy with me since the morning after I had found Dawn kissing Cameron. We had gotten into a pretty heated argument, a first for us really, resulting in neither of us speaking to each other for a few days. Louis didn’t seem to understand why I wouldn’t just tell Dawn when she presented me with “the perfect opportunity“. I couldn’t do it though. She would have resented me for making her stop seeing someone who made her happy, even if I knew I could make her happier.
I knew Louis had talked to Dawn, he very nearly told her how I felt about her. It had been the main reason our argument had gotten so heated. I knew he was just trying to be a good mate but it wasn’t his place to say anything.
“Hey Lou, what’s up?” Dawn greeted, oblivious to the silent battle going on between us.
“Nothing babe. Are you staying here tonight then?” He asked her, finally tearing his eyes from mine.
“Yea. I think Curly needed a little more me and him time.” I felt her tilt her head back up to look at me and returned her smile as I looked down at her.
Louis raised an eyebrow at me but said nothing.
“What do you have planned for the night Lou? Harry and I have nothing.”
“Would you like to party with the cool kids in the back of the bus.” Louis asked, more to Dawn then to me.
Her eyes lit up as she spotted what Louis had in his hand.
“Do I spy rum with my little eye?” She joked sitting up, which consequently meant she pulled away from me.
“There is vodka in the back room also.” Louis supplied flashing her a smirk as he walked past us to collect a stack of red solo cups, then proceeded to walk back through the doorway. “Party’s in the back.”
Dawn looked over at me excitedly before jumping up and latching onto my hand. “You heard the man. Let’s go.”
I allowed her to drag me to the back room where Zayn was already helping himself to a beer that had also been added to the party favors. Niall poured himself and Jena, who had been stowing away on our bus as well, some type of mixed drink. Louis held a cup out to Dawn, who gladly excepted and took a seat next to Jena.
“What are you playing at?” I asked Louis as quietly and discreetly as I could while we both had our backs to the rest.
“I haven’t a clue what you mean Haz.” Louis played dumb. I knew this by the smile he flashed me. He was up to something and it was a little unnerving.
“Curly! Stop your pouting and man up. We’re taking shots over here.” Dawn shouted pointing to the bottle of clear liquid Niall was holding. With one more glance at Louis, who smiled at me from behind his cup, I joined the others for a shot.
It didn’t take long at all for the six of us that were drinking to become sloshed. Jena and Dawn were giggling like mad leaning on each other in the corner of the sofa. Liam, who was the only sober one, seemed to find us all hilarious. I was lying beside Dawn, my head in her lap, in my drunken state I was less subtle with my staring but she didn’t seem to notice at all as she told a story animatedly.
"So I just tell him that he should totally kiss Zayn and Niall totally does because he was so fucking drunk but not only that he then goes in for the neck and starts sucking away at Zayn like he's a vampire. Poor Zayn had no clue what was going on. He just looked like a stunned little boy the whole time." Dawn managed to say between her giggles. Niall’s face turned slightly red but his smile was still present, even growing when Jena laughed loudly at the tail.
“I didn’t expect him to suck on my neck.” Zayn grumbled.
“All the little shipper hearts that would have been overjoyed at that information.” Jena whispered to Dawn making both fall back into a fit of giggles.
“The only outrageous thing I’ve ever done while drunk was make out with my best friend.” Jena informed with a nod. “But friends kiss all the time.”
“We never have. “ Dawn informed pointing her finger between the two of us. I tensed at the thought. “It’s not really that common.”
“You mean you’ve never thought about what it would be like to kiss each other?” Jena pushed. The more they spoke the more uncomfortable I became. I suddenly didn’t like my position anymore and sat straight up looking down at my hands. “Seriously, not even a little kiss?”
“No.” I responded a little too quickly.
“Oh.” She looked from Dawn to me and then to Louis, who was staring me. I could almost see it in her eyes as she realized what was happening. “Oh.”
“I think you should.” Louis finally spoke. I glared up at him. Fucker.
“I think you should shut up Louis.” I countered trying to keep my voice light so Dawn wouldn’t notice the tension.
“In fact, Hazza and Dawn, I DARE you two to kiss.”
Around me I saw varying reactions. Jena‘s mouth feel open, a look of guilt coming over her face. Liam was giving Louis a warning glare, which Louis was ignoring. Niall and Zayn both looked uncomfortable for me.
But the reaction I was most in tuned to was Dawn’s. She looked a bit amused. “Oh man now we have to kiss. You know I never back down from a dare.”
I knew that, and unfortunately so did Louis. Why was he torturing me? It was like he had been waiting for an opportunity like this all night.
And then I realized, he HAD been waiting for an opportunity like this. Damn him.
“Alright then. Harry you ready?” Dawn asked. Turning her body to face mine, a giant smile on her face. She had no clue.
“I don’t want to kiss you Dawn.” I said pushing away from her slightly. A hurt look flashed on her face but it was quickly gone. “I’m not doing the fucking dare, Lou.”
“I’m afraid it’s against the rules.” Louis tutted.
I glared at him. I hated him in that moment.
“Come on Harry. Friends kiss all the time.” Dawn reasoned, echoing back what Jena had said not too long ago.
Jena’s eyes widened. “I was just joking Dawn. I only did it because I was drunk.”
“Well, whatever.” Dawn shrugged her shoulders. “Louis dared us and we have a reputation to maintain. We never renege on dares.”
I still didn’t move. Even as Dawn placing both her hands in my lap. “Harry just get it over with. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just me.”
I don’t know if it was her words or the way she said them, like she couldn’t fathom why it would be uncomfortable for me to kiss her, like the idea of me kissing her was so much of a joke it shouldn’t even be thought of as anything of importance.
Whatever it was, it was just the thing to make me want to go through with it. Louis must have seen my decision in my eyes as he clapped his hands together as if he had achieved something.
“Fine.” I whispered out. Taking deep breaths while looking at Dawn through my lashes.
“Harry, you don’t have to-”
“Liam, leave them alone.” Louis cut off. Liam continued his glaring at Louis as all other eyes turned to me and Dawn. I felt like the train wreck people are always talking about watching. This was definitely going to end in disaster. I still couldn’t stop myself.
Looking around the room again to gain the courage that I quickly lost as the alcohol no longer clouded my mind. Finally I looked to Dawn.
She just sat there smiling softly at me, like she had no care in the world. Like what I was about to do wasn’t something I had dreamed about from almost the exact moment I met her.
Her red hair was in her face and her hazel eyes shone with affection, just not the right kind. My eyes drifted down to her lips, slightly parted, pink, and full. I had memorized those lips a long time ago, and for the first time, in front of all my closest mates, I was going to feel them against my own.
And it meant nothing to her.
“Hazza just do it alread-”
I cut her off before she could finish. My lips pressing to hers.
And it felt like heaven and hell all at once.
On every other tour she had been on with us she spent the majority of her time on our bus, even having her own bunk. This tour was different. She spent her time divided between ours and Allstar Weekend’s tour bus. She tried to space it evenly, resulting in her not ever spending time on the bus she was assigned to with Jena, Caroline, Caroline’s assistant Christine, and Lisa our tour manager.
I tried to pretend that it didn’t kill me to know she was probably cuddled up to Cameron when she wasn’t sleeping in the bunk across from me.
“Cam wants to watch a movie.” She began to walk away when she suddenly turned. “Why don’t you come?”
There was nothing I would like to do less then go watch her and Cameron be together. I wanted her to be happy, but I didn’t think I could actually watch her be happy with someone else.
“Oh I think I’ll stay here. Lou would miss me too much, no one to cuddle with and all.”
Her eyebrows raised and a smirk played on her lips. “Sometimes it’s hard to remember you two are just joking. You know that right?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Trust me Dawn, Louis is not my type.”
“So you say.” She pointed at me with squinted eyes. “Personally, I think you two are secretly seeing each other.”
I was happy we were back to the banter. Even if my heart still yearned for more, I was happy we could still be like this with each other.
“Well can we at least do something fun tomorrow? I feel like I’ve been neglecting you.”
“You haven’t, babe. I’ve just been very tired. This is the most strenuous show we have put on yet. It wears me out.” Lies. This whole situation was wearing me out.
She looked at me for the longest time, not moving. And then she walked back into the front lounge where I was currently sat. Dropping her backpack onto the ground near my feet she dropped into the sofa next to me and placed her head on my shoulders.
My arm instinctively wrapped around her. “Dee aren’t you going to Cameron’s bus? We’ll be leaving soon.”
She tilted her head up to look at me. It would be so easy to just lean down and kiss her right there, but it would complicate everything.
“I’m going to stay. I’ll call Cameron and let him know. I think, right now, I’d rather be here.”
My heart swelled, but my mind reminded it that it meant nothing other then Dawn was a good friend.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. Anyway, Cameron would have made me watch Anchorman for like the millionth time and I think I might shoot him if I had to sit through that again.”
“Says the girl who can watch Sweet Home Alabama on repeat.”
She slapped my chest and glared up at me. “That’s different.”
“Sure it is love.” My hand drifted up to play with the ends of her hair. “So what are we to do?”
She brought her finger to her chin and twisted her lips in the most adorable way as she thought.
“Can we just sit here and do nothing.” She finally decided.
I smiled and nodded, shutting my eyes.
The idea of doing nothing never seemed so appealing, with Dawn tucked into my side, her cheek resting on my chest and my hand playing in her hair. If I let my mind go blank I could almost pretend this was something else, something more.
“What do we have here?”
My eyes snapped open to find Louis standing in the doorway leading towards the bunks. He was smiling but I could tell he wasn’t pleased with what he saw.
Louis hadn’t been too happy with me since the morning after I had found Dawn kissing Cameron. We had gotten into a pretty heated argument, a first for us really, resulting in neither of us speaking to each other for a few days. Louis didn’t seem to understand why I wouldn’t just tell Dawn when she presented me with “the perfect opportunity“. I couldn’t do it though. She would have resented me for making her stop seeing someone who made her happy, even if I knew I could make her happier.
I knew Louis had talked to Dawn, he very nearly told her how I felt about her. It had been the main reason our argument had gotten so heated. I knew he was just trying to be a good mate but it wasn’t his place to say anything.
“Hey Lou, what’s up?” Dawn greeted, oblivious to the silent battle going on between us.
“Nothing babe. Are you staying here tonight then?” He asked her, finally tearing his eyes from mine.
“Yea. I think Curly needed a little more me and him time.” I felt her tilt her head back up to look at me and returned her smile as I looked down at her.
Louis raised an eyebrow at me but said nothing.
“What do you have planned for the night Lou? Harry and I have nothing.”
“Would you like to party with the cool kids in the back of the bus.” Louis asked, more to Dawn then to me.
Her eyes lit up as she spotted what Louis had in his hand.
“Do I spy rum with my little eye?” She joked sitting up, which consequently meant she pulled away from me.
“There is vodka in the back room also.” Louis supplied flashing her a smirk as he walked past us to collect a stack of red solo cups, then proceeded to walk back through the doorway. “Party’s in the back.”
Dawn looked over at me excitedly before jumping up and latching onto my hand. “You heard the man. Let’s go.”
I allowed her to drag me to the back room where Zayn was already helping himself to a beer that had also been added to the party favors. Niall poured himself and Jena, who had been stowing away on our bus as well, some type of mixed drink. Louis held a cup out to Dawn, who gladly excepted and took a seat next to Jena.
“What are you playing at?” I asked Louis as quietly and discreetly as I could while we both had our backs to the rest.
“I haven’t a clue what you mean Haz.” Louis played dumb. I knew this by the smile he flashed me. He was up to something and it was a little unnerving.
“Curly! Stop your pouting and man up. We’re taking shots over here.” Dawn shouted pointing to the bottle of clear liquid Niall was holding. With one more glance at Louis, who smiled at me from behind his cup, I joined the others for a shot.
It didn’t take long at all for the six of us that were drinking to become sloshed. Jena and Dawn were giggling like mad leaning on each other in the corner of the sofa. Liam, who was the only sober one, seemed to find us all hilarious. I was lying beside Dawn, my head in her lap, in my drunken state I was less subtle with my staring but she didn’t seem to notice at all as she told a story animatedly.
"So I just tell him that he should totally kiss Zayn and Niall totally does because he was so fucking drunk but not only that he then goes in for the neck and starts sucking away at Zayn like he's a vampire. Poor Zayn had no clue what was going on. He just looked like a stunned little boy the whole time." Dawn managed to say between her giggles. Niall’s face turned slightly red but his smile was still present, even growing when Jena laughed loudly at the tail.
“I didn’t expect him to suck on my neck.” Zayn grumbled.
“All the little shipper hearts that would have been overjoyed at that information.” Jena whispered to Dawn making both fall back into a fit of giggles.
“The only outrageous thing I’ve ever done while drunk was make out with my best friend.” Jena informed with a nod. “But friends kiss all the time.”
“We never have. “ Dawn informed pointing her finger between the two of us. I tensed at the thought. “It’s not really that common.”
“You mean you’ve never thought about what it would be like to kiss each other?” Jena pushed. The more they spoke the more uncomfortable I became. I suddenly didn’t like my position anymore and sat straight up looking down at my hands. “Seriously, not even a little kiss?”
“No.” I responded a little too quickly.
“Oh.” She looked from Dawn to me and then to Louis, who was staring me. I could almost see it in her eyes as she realized what was happening. “Oh.”
“I think you should.” Louis finally spoke. I glared up at him. Fucker.
“I think you should shut up Louis.” I countered trying to keep my voice light so Dawn wouldn’t notice the tension.
“In fact, Hazza and Dawn, I DARE you two to kiss.”
Around me I saw varying reactions. Jena‘s mouth feel open, a look of guilt coming over her face. Liam was giving Louis a warning glare, which Louis was ignoring. Niall and Zayn both looked uncomfortable for me.
But the reaction I was most in tuned to was Dawn’s. She looked a bit amused. “Oh man now we have to kiss. You know I never back down from a dare.”
I knew that, and unfortunately so did Louis. Why was he torturing me? It was like he had been waiting for an opportunity like this all night.
And then I realized, he HAD been waiting for an opportunity like this. Damn him.
“Alright then. Harry you ready?” Dawn asked. Turning her body to face mine, a giant smile on her face. She had no clue.
“I don’t want to kiss you Dawn.” I said pushing away from her slightly. A hurt look flashed on her face but it was quickly gone. “I’m not doing the fucking dare, Lou.”
“I’m afraid it’s against the rules.” Louis tutted.
I glared at him. I hated him in that moment.
“Come on Harry. Friends kiss all the time.” Dawn reasoned, echoing back what Jena had said not too long ago.
Jena’s eyes widened. “I was just joking Dawn. I only did it because I was drunk.”
“Well, whatever.” Dawn shrugged her shoulders. “Louis dared us and we have a reputation to maintain. We never renege on dares.”
I still didn’t move. Even as Dawn placing both her hands in my lap. “Harry just get it over with. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just me.”
I don’t know if it was her words or the way she said them, like she couldn’t fathom why it would be uncomfortable for me to kiss her, like the idea of me kissing her was so much of a joke it shouldn’t even be thought of as anything of importance.
Whatever it was, it was just the thing to make me want to go through with it. Louis must have seen my decision in my eyes as he clapped his hands together as if he had achieved something.
“Fine.” I whispered out. Taking deep breaths while looking at Dawn through my lashes.
“Harry, you don’t have to-”
“Liam, leave them alone.” Louis cut off. Liam continued his glaring at Louis as all other eyes turned to me and Dawn. I felt like the train wreck people are always talking about watching. This was definitely going to end in disaster. I still couldn’t stop myself.
Looking around the room again to gain the courage that I quickly lost as the alcohol no longer clouded my mind. Finally I looked to Dawn.
She just sat there smiling softly at me, like she had no care in the world. Like what I was about to do wasn’t something I had dreamed about from almost the exact moment I met her.
Her red hair was in her face and her hazel eyes shone with affection, just not the right kind. My eyes drifted down to her lips, slightly parted, pink, and full. I had memorized those lips a long time ago, and for the first time, in front of all my closest mates, I was going to feel them against my own.
And it meant nothing to her.
“Hazza just do it alread-”
I cut her off before she could finish. My lips pressing to hers.
And it felt like heaven and hell all at once.
Hey ladies. Thank you for reading this fic and the sequel is called The Mess We're In. Let me know what you girls think <3
9/6/13