Making Headlines
Chapter 2: Incessant Rambling
December 20th 2012
11:22 pm
London, England
Emerson Gray
“And then they lived happily ever after,” I whispered to the 6 year old. Her eyes had long fluttered closed. I kissed Ana’s forehead and stood up, exiting her room. “Emmie?” She called quietly, addressing me by the nickname that only she knew. “Yes Ana?”
“When will mommy and daddy stop fighting?” I sighed. Joe and Kiersten were her actual parents. They didn’t treat her like shit, but they didn’t treat her well. “Soon sweetie. Go back to sleep.” She complied quickly and closed her eyes, her breathing became deeper. I quietly shut the door and slipped into the room across the hall that I shared with Krista, another foster girl. The one with the One Direction posters.
In all honesty, they scared me shitless. I never changed in my room. Call me paranoid but having 5 smiling guys just staring at you is a tad bit creepy. On a daily basis, people stare at me, analyze my every move, I didn’t need it when I get home. Or to my place of residency. Home is where the heart is, and my heart isn’t here.
I walked in my room and saw Krista passed out on the top bunk. She had an arm hanging off the edge, her mouth was open and loud snores were escaping from the back of her throat. I smiled a little and shifted her arm so that it was on the bed next to her.
I bent down to lay on my bed when I saw a box sitting in the middle. Confused, I opened it up. Inside sat a black Pea Coat, a pre-paid cell phone, and a note. We want you out. Pack your stuff and leave. ~J&K My jaw dropped and tears stung my eyes. I stared at the note for what seemed like a lifetime, when it really must have been about 3 minutes. After that, I became mad upset angry livid.
In a huff, I stood up and grabbed a duffle bag from the bag of my closet. I threw most of my wardrobe—which wasn’t a lot, in the bag. Zipping it up, I placed it by the door and wrote a quick note for Krista. Explaining what happened and what she needs to tell Ana. I placed it on a place I knew she’d see it. Right on the face of her Niall Horan cut out. I grabbed my bag and the coat and raced down the stairs.
I peeked my head into the living room and saw my foster parents passed out on the couch, next to an empty bottle of Bacardi Rum. I shook my head and left through the front door. I hiked the strap of the duffel bag higher up my shoulder and huddled deeper into my new coat. I let out a deep breath and watched as the vapor filled the air around me.
It was freezing—below freezing. I looked up just a bit and saw the London lights just in front of me. I sighed again. I had nowhere to go. I sat on the curb a block and a half away from my house…or ex-house I should say. I knew this day would come. It was a little less than 2 weeks until my birthday, and I didn’t really completely process what was going to happen, but I didn’t think that sitting on a curb, minutes to midnight, nearly 4 days to Christmas with nowhere to go would be the result.
I squeezed my eyes tight and put my head in my hands, knotting my fingers in my curly hair and tugged at the roots in frustration. “What am I going to do?” I whispered to myself. I pulled the pre-paid phone but put it right back in my pocket. I didn’t remember any numbers, it’s useless. I let out another sigh and stood up. I began walking towards the inner city too look for somewhere for me to stay.
After about 5 minutes of walking, pretty much every part of my body was numb with cold. I saw headlights and kept my head down, knowing that this area wasn’t really the safest. The car stopped when it got close to me and I panicked internally. “Gray?” A familiar voice called. I looked up and saw Zayn stepping out of his car.
“Zayn? Wh-what are you d-d-doing h-he-here?” I stuttered. “I called your house and a man answered saying that you don’t live there anymore. I came driving down to find you. What happened?” He had walked up to me and was standing right in front of me.
I looked up at him and in the dark of the midnight, his eyes were near black. That was the moment I broke. I was too strong for too long and could hold it in. The sob broke free from my chest loudly, the tears cascaded down my face like the Niagara Falls. I shook my head viciously back and forth. “Zayn, I-I don’t have anywhere to go. They-they k-kicked me o-out,” I cried.
I fell into his arms and sobbed into his chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. His arms made their way around my shoulders and he hugged my body closer to his. The warmth of his body made me feel better and the comfort of his strong embrace made me feel almost at home. “Come on,” He whispered, “You’re gonna stay with me.” On any normal day, I would have argued fiercely, claimed I didn’t need anyone’s help, and stalked away in a huff. But tonight I was just tired. I was tired and broken and defeated.
He guided me into his car and turned up the heat. With one hand he steered the wheel and with the other he held my hand tightly. I worked on calming myself down, but the attempt was futile. A year of tears was finally able to fall and they just kept coming and coming.
“Here we are,” He said softly. I looked out the window and saw a huge building full of flats, not too far away from where I used to live. Slowly, like a robot, I got out of the car and followed Zayn into the building. Minutes later he was fumbling with his keys. “The boys are probably still in there. Don’t mind them,” He muttered. He opened the door and stepped aside allowing me to enter the warm, luxurious, large flat.
“Hey boys, this is Gray. Uh, some stuff happened and she’s gonna crash here,” Zayn said vaguely. I pushed the hair out of my face and forced a smile to appear on my tear stained face. Quite excellently, I may add. The boys nodded, smiled and waved. 3 of them did. The curly one, Harry, just kept his attention on the television. I didn’t really think anything of it. Instead, I turned to Zayn who led me to a room at the end of the hall. It was nice, plain, but well decorated—obviously a guest room.
“Thank you, so much, I can’t even begi-“ Zayn cut me off, “No need to thank me. There are fresh towels in the bathroom. If you need anything, my room is just next door. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight, Gray.”
“Night Zayn,” I whispered. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. He left the room and softly closed the door behind him. I sighed and plopped my bag down on the bed. I dug through it and found a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Changing quickly, I cuddled into the warm blankets of the large, fluffy bed.
I shut the lamp on the table next to me off and felt myself drift into a deep, dreamless sleep.
***
Zayn Jawaad
The next morning, I woke up surprisingly early. Well, early for me. The first thing I did was call my mum. “Zayn, dear! Good morning!”
“Morning, mum. I had something to tell you,” I said, cutting to the chase. “Oh, please tell me you’re still coming for Christmas.” I scrunched my eyebrows, “Of course. But listen, I met a girl yesterday. She’s really nice and different, but she’s had a really rough past. She’s got no place to go. It’s cold and it’s the holidays. I was wondering if she could stay with us. I know that it’s really soon, but she doesn’t deserve to be alone.”
“Who’s this girl?” Mum asked. “Emerson Steele,” I answered quietly. Mum paused for a minute. “Let me talk to your father.” For the next roughly 5 minutes my parents conversed about my request, finally concurring on a decision. “Okay,” My father spoke. “She can come. We trust your judgment.” My father never really was a man of many words. “Thank you so much. I’ll see you tomorrow!” We all said our good-byes and hung up the phone.
I wandered to the kitchen to make some tea. “Morning,” Harry grumbled walking in the kitchen with Niall close behind him. “Hey guys, what are you doing up so early?” They shrugged. “Louis was snoring again,” Niall answered. I chuckled and looked down at my phone.
“Is she still here?” Harry asked. I nodded, “Yeah, I think I heard her shower running when I was on the phone with my parents.”
“And why were you on the phone with your parents?” Harry grilled. “I wanted to know if I could bring Gray with me.”
Emerson Gray
“You’re crazy!” A deep voice proclaimed. “You’ve known her for less than 24 hours!”
“You know what, Harry? If I wanted your stupid opinion, I’d have asked for it. But I didn’t, so shut the fuck up!” Zayn snapped. I stood around the corner from what I presumed to be the living room. I had woken up about 20 minutes earlier, showered and brushed my teeth, then emerge with my bags, ready to leave, only to hear Zayn and Harry arguing.
“No one deserves to be alone on Christmas,” An Irish accent cut in. Where the hell did he come from? “Well she does,” Harry spat. I had decided I heard enough. I stepped around the corner, making it pretty damn clear I heard every word. “Zayn, thank you so much for letting me spend the night. Really, it means a lot, but I have to go. Oh and Harry? I’m assuming my father is the reason you don’t like me. Let me assure you that not only did I have absolutely nothing to do with that and you have no right to act this way, but your negative attitude will get you nothing but emptiness and sadness. Have a nice day. And thank you again Zayn.” I offered Zayn a small smile and turned on my heel heading towards the front door.
“Gray, wait!” Zayn called. “What’s up?” I asked, turning around. “Look, you have nowhere to go and it’s really close to Christmas. I’m heading up to Bradford tomorrow and I was wondering if you’d want to come with me.”
I froze. I mean, I’ve known Zayn for less than 24 hours and while his smile makes me melt and his voice makes my knees wobble, I can’t help but feel this is going a tad bit fast. And by a tad bit I mean way too fucking fast. “Uh, I don’t know, Zayn, it’s really early for that and besides I couldn’t intrud-“
“You wouldn’t! I talked to my parents and they agreed that no one should be alone this time of year. I’m insisting that you come with me. Please? You can stay here until then and I got my parents a house, so you’ll have to share bunk beds with me until Christmas, but other than that, everything’s all good and set. Please come with me. I really want you too,” His honey eyes widened making him look innocent.
With this beautiful boy practically begging for me to come with him, it was hard to say no. I don’t know if I can fully trust him, but there’s something inside me screaming to say yes and trust him, but there was a part that said no don’t go. Being reckless, I ignored the small voice and smiled, “If you insist. Thank you, too. You know, for helping me. I don’t normally accept help because I feel-“
“Because you’re too stubborn?” He joked. I playfully glared at him, “No. because I feel like it makes me a charity case and that’s the last thing I want,” I explained. “I am 120% able to help you and I want to. It’s not charity. I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, I donate to children’s cancer foundation, so I still do donate to charities.”
I smiled, “Well that’s a very good thing, Zayn. Keep up the good work.” He smiled and led me to my room, tossing my bag inside. “Today, the boys and I have an interview, and then we’re on holiday. Would you like to come with us?” He asked. I thought for a second and shook my head, “I think I’ll just stay here, if that’s okay.” He nodded, “That’s totally fine! Make yourself at home. I have food, and movies and stuff.”
I nodded, “Thank yo-“
“Stop,” He said. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at him. “I’m sorry?”
“Stop thanking me. It’s okay, you’re welcome.” I smiled and looked down, “Thanks. Damn, sorry!” I said quickly. He laughed, “Come on, the boys are getting ready.” I nodded and followed him out to the living room, sitting on the couch next to Niall.
“Hey!” He smiled warmly at me. I couldn’t help but smile back, “Morning!”
Zayn looked between us with a small smile, “I’m gonna go and shower.” I waved and watched as he walked down the hall. With every step he took, I wondered why. Why he was showing me such kindness without really knowing me, why he and his parents are opening up their house for me also without really knowing me. “Gray?....Gray?....GRAY!?” An Irish accent pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Hmm?” I hummed looking over at Niall. “I asked how you were doing, considering…” He trailed off. I shrugged, “One day at a time, Nialler.” His face brightened. “You know my nickname!?” I chuckled and nodded, “I shared a room with a 14 year old directioner. I pretty much only know you guys by your nicknames. Louis! Morning,” I cheered to Louis as he walked in the room.
“Uh, morning Gray! You seem…cheerful.” I shrugged, “I’m actually a pretty positive person.” He pursed his lips and nodded. “Liam and Harry are almost done getting ready,” He said to Niall. “Okay,” He responded, not looking up from his phone. I picked up the remote and started flicking through the channels on the big screen TV.
I stared blankly at the TV. I found myself looking around Zayn’s large flat. My eye fell on the large, half-decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the room. It was massive, and reminded me a lot of the huge trees me family would decorate together. Right around this time, too. Mum, dad, Emmett, and I would spend one night to decorate the tree. Emmett was only 8 when he died, the day after we last decorated the tree. Clearly, I can remember holding him up as he placed the star on the top of the tree. I can still smell the cookies mum and I baked, the candles that Dad would light, claiming the pine smell from the tree gave him sniffles. As I thought about that day, I didn’t see where it had gone wrong. We were fine, my family was fine, everything was fine. Then, I had returned home from my last day of school before holiday to find them all dead.
I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to erase the images of the bloodied walls and bodies out of my mind. “You okay, love?” Liam asked kneeling in front of me. I nodded quickly, “I’m all good.” I smiled and looked up in time to see Zayn and Harry entering the room. “Okay, everyone ready?” Liam asked. With a simultaneous nod, everyone headed to the door.
“Good luck, guys!!!!” I cheered. They all—except Harry—turned to smile at me. Zayn made his way over and hugged me. I flinched involuntarily, “Sorry, sorry,” I mumbled and quickly wrapped my arms around him. He looked at me funny but smiled anyway. “Make yourself at home, we’ll be back in like 3 hours.” I nodded and shooed the boys out of the door. Once the front door was shut and I heard their footsteps recede down the hall, I allowed the tears to fall. I slammed the door with my open hand and rested my forehead on the door and silently begged for the tears to stop.
Once I had collected myself, I made my way into the kitchen and took out all my necessary supplies. I smiled to myself and got to work.
***
“Gray! We’re back!” Zayn called. “In the kitchen!” I replied, taking out the cupcakes. “Hey-whoa, what happened in here?” I looked around the kitchen, cookies, brownies, cupcakes all on plates covered the counter space. “Oh! Uh, my mum had a bakery. She taught me how to bake. They’re chocolate, peanut butter, red velvet my personal favorite, marble, vanilla, lemon, chocolate orange. I didn’t leave too much of a mess. I got bored-nervous-sad? All of the frosted ones are the ones that are done and ready, help yourself! I hope they’re good. I think they are. Baking is to me what singing is to you. It’s been a while. Oh! There’s apple cinnamon muffins, those are the very best! For as long as I could remember my mum baked. One year, for their anniversary, my dad got her a cute little building in downtown London. A bakery! Baking, is calming, it’s really the only thing that reminds me of my mother. When I bake, I feel like she’s still here, telling me how to frost a certain way or add a certain amount of ingredients. Oh and the-“
Zayn cut off my incessant rambling—my nervous rambling, “Emerson! Hey, hey, hey,” He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked at me. I bit my bottom lip and stared back with wide, wide glassy eyes. “I miss her,” I whispered. He nodded, “I know you do.” He pulled me into his chest and I dug my face into his shirt, letting the tears fall.
“Oh my god, these red velvet cupcakes are the best thing I have ever tasted in my life,” Niall mumbled with a full mouth.
11:22 pm
London, England
Emerson Gray
“And then they lived happily ever after,” I whispered to the 6 year old. Her eyes had long fluttered closed. I kissed Ana’s forehead and stood up, exiting her room. “Emmie?” She called quietly, addressing me by the nickname that only she knew. “Yes Ana?”
“When will mommy and daddy stop fighting?” I sighed. Joe and Kiersten were her actual parents. They didn’t treat her like shit, but they didn’t treat her well. “Soon sweetie. Go back to sleep.” She complied quickly and closed her eyes, her breathing became deeper. I quietly shut the door and slipped into the room across the hall that I shared with Krista, another foster girl. The one with the One Direction posters.
In all honesty, they scared me shitless. I never changed in my room. Call me paranoid but having 5 smiling guys just staring at you is a tad bit creepy. On a daily basis, people stare at me, analyze my every move, I didn’t need it when I get home. Or to my place of residency. Home is where the heart is, and my heart isn’t here.
I walked in my room and saw Krista passed out on the top bunk. She had an arm hanging off the edge, her mouth was open and loud snores were escaping from the back of her throat. I smiled a little and shifted her arm so that it was on the bed next to her.
I bent down to lay on my bed when I saw a box sitting in the middle. Confused, I opened it up. Inside sat a black Pea Coat, a pre-paid cell phone, and a note. We want you out. Pack your stuff and leave. ~J&K My jaw dropped and tears stung my eyes. I stared at the note for what seemed like a lifetime, when it really must have been about 3 minutes. After that, I became mad upset angry livid.
In a huff, I stood up and grabbed a duffle bag from the bag of my closet. I threw most of my wardrobe—which wasn’t a lot, in the bag. Zipping it up, I placed it by the door and wrote a quick note for Krista. Explaining what happened and what she needs to tell Ana. I placed it on a place I knew she’d see it. Right on the face of her Niall Horan cut out. I grabbed my bag and the coat and raced down the stairs.
I peeked my head into the living room and saw my foster parents passed out on the couch, next to an empty bottle of Bacardi Rum. I shook my head and left through the front door. I hiked the strap of the duffel bag higher up my shoulder and huddled deeper into my new coat. I let out a deep breath and watched as the vapor filled the air around me.
It was freezing—below freezing. I looked up just a bit and saw the London lights just in front of me. I sighed again. I had nowhere to go. I sat on the curb a block and a half away from my house…or ex-house I should say. I knew this day would come. It was a little less than 2 weeks until my birthday, and I didn’t really completely process what was going to happen, but I didn’t think that sitting on a curb, minutes to midnight, nearly 4 days to Christmas with nowhere to go would be the result.
I squeezed my eyes tight and put my head in my hands, knotting my fingers in my curly hair and tugged at the roots in frustration. “What am I going to do?” I whispered to myself. I pulled the pre-paid phone but put it right back in my pocket. I didn’t remember any numbers, it’s useless. I let out another sigh and stood up. I began walking towards the inner city too look for somewhere for me to stay.
After about 5 minutes of walking, pretty much every part of my body was numb with cold. I saw headlights and kept my head down, knowing that this area wasn’t really the safest. The car stopped when it got close to me and I panicked internally. “Gray?” A familiar voice called. I looked up and saw Zayn stepping out of his car.
“Zayn? Wh-what are you d-d-doing h-he-here?” I stuttered. “I called your house and a man answered saying that you don’t live there anymore. I came driving down to find you. What happened?” He had walked up to me and was standing right in front of me.
I looked up at him and in the dark of the midnight, his eyes were near black. That was the moment I broke. I was too strong for too long and could hold it in. The sob broke free from my chest loudly, the tears cascaded down my face like the Niagara Falls. I shook my head viciously back and forth. “Zayn, I-I don’t have anywhere to go. They-they k-kicked me o-out,” I cried.
I fell into his arms and sobbed into his chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. His arms made their way around my shoulders and he hugged my body closer to his. The warmth of his body made me feel better and the comfort of his strong embrace made me feel almost at home. “Come on,” He whispered, “You’re gonna stay with me.” On any normal day, I would have argued fiercely, claimed I didn’t need anyone’s help, and stalked away in a huff. But tonight I was just tired. I was tired and broken and defeated.
He guided me into his car and turned up the heat. With one hand he steered the wheel and with the other he held my hand tightly. I worked on calming myself down, but the attempt was futile. A year of tears was finally able to fall and they just kept coming and coming.
“Here we are,” He said softly. I looked out the window and saw a huge building full of flats, not too far away from where I used to live. Slowly, like a robot, I got out of the car and followed Zayn into the building. Minutes later he was fumbling with his keys. “The boys are probably still in there. Don’t mind them,” He muttered. He opened the door and stepped aside allowing me to enter the warm, luxurious, large flat.
“Hey boys, this is Gray. Uh, some stuff happened and she’s gonna crash here,” Zayn said vaguely. I pushed the hair out of my face and forced a smile to appear on my tear stained face. Quite excellently, I may add. The boys nodded, smiled and waved. 3 of them did. The curly one, Harry, just kept his attention on the television. I didn’t really think anything of it. Instead, I turned to Zayn who led me to a room at the end of the hall. It was nice, plain, but well decorated—obviously a guest room.
“Thank you, so much, I can’t even begi-“ Zayn cut me off, “No need to thank me. There are fresh towels in the bathroom. If you need anything, my room is just next door. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight, Gray.”
“Night Zayn,” I whispered. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. He left the room and softly closed the door behind him. I sighed and plopped my bag down on the bed. I dug through it and found a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Changing quickly, I cuddled into the warm blankets of the large, fluffy bed.
I shut the lamp on the table next to me off and felt myself drift into a deep, dreamless sleep.
***
Zayn Jawaad
The next morning, I woke up surprisingly early. Well, early for me. The first thing I did was call my mum. “Zayn, dear! Good morning!”
“Morning, mum. I had something to tell you,” I said, cutting to the chase. “Oh, please tell me you’re still coming for Christmas.” I scrunched my eyebrows, “Of course. But listen, I met a girl yesterday. She’s really nice and different, but she’s had a really rough past. She’s got no place to go. It’s cold and it’s the holidays. I was wondering if she could stay with us. I know that it’s really soon, but she doesn’t deserve to be alone.”
“Who’s this girl?” Mum asked. “Emerson Steele,” I answered quietly. Mum paused for a minute. “Let me talk to your father.” For the next roughly 5 minutes my parents conversed about my request, finally concurring on a decision. “Okay,” My father spoke. “She can come. We trust your judgment.” My father never really was a man of many words. “Thank you so much. I’ll see you tomorrow!” We all said our good-byes and hung up the phone.
I wandered to the kitchen to make some tea. “Morning,” Harry grumbled walking in the kitchen with Niall close behind him. “Hey guys, what are you doing up so early?” They shrugged. “Louis was snoring again,” Niall answered. I chuckled and looked down at my phone.
“Is she still here?” Harry asked. I nodded, “Yeah, I think I heard her shower running when I was on the phone with my parents.”
“And why were you on the phone with your parents?” Harry grilled. “I wanted to know if I could bring Gray with me.”
Emerson Gray
“You’re crazy!” A deep voice proclaimed. “You’ve known her for less than 24 hours!”
“You know what, Harry? If I wanted your stupid opinion, I’d have asked for it. But I didn’t, so shut the fuck up!” Zayn snapped. I stood around the corner from what I presumed to be the living room. I had woken up about 20 minutes earlier, showered and brushed my teeth, then emerge with my bags, ready to leave, only to hear Zayn and Harry arguing.
“No one deserves to be alone on Christmas,” An Irish accent cut in. Where the hell did he come from? “Well she does,” Harry spat. I had decided I heard enough. I stepped around the corner, making it pretty damn clear I heard every word. “Zayn, thank you so much for letting me spend the night. Really, it means a lot, but I have to go. Oh and Harry? I’m assuming my father is the reason you don’t like me. Let me assure you that not only did I have absolutely nothing to do with that and you have no right to act this way, but your negative attitude will get you nothing but emptiness and sadness. Have a nice day. And thank you again Zayn.” I offered Zayn a small smile and turned on my heel heading towards the front door.
“Gray, wait!” Zayn called. “What’s up?” I asked, turning around. “Look, you have nowhere to go and it’s really close to Christmas. I’m heading up to Bradford tomorrow and I was wondering if you’d want to come with me.”
I froze. I mean, I’ve known Zayn for less than 24 hours and while his smile makes me melt and his voice makes my knees wobble, I can’t help but feel this is going a tad bit fast. And by a tad bit I mean way too fucking fast. “Uh, I don’t know, Zayn, it’s really early for that and besides I couldn’t intrud-“
“You wouldn’t! I talked to my parents and they agreed that no one should be alone this time of year. I’m insisting that you come with me. Please? You can stay here until then and I got my parents a house, so you’ll have to share bunk beds with me until Christmas, but other than that, everything’s all good and set. Please come with me. I really want you too,” His honey eyes widened making him look innocent.
With this beautiful boy practically begging for me to come with him, it was hard to say no. I don’t know if I can fully trust him, but there’s something inside me screaming to say yes and trust him, but there was a part that said no don’t go. Being reckless, I ignored the small voice and smiled, “If you insist. Thank you, too. You know, for helping me. I don’t normally accept help because I feel-“
“Because you’re too stubborn?” He joked. I playfully glared at him, “No. because I feel like it makes me a charity case and that’s the last thing I want,” I explained. “I am 120% able to help you and I want to. It’s not charity. I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, I donate to children’s cancer foundation, so I still do donate to charities.”
I smiled, “Well that’s a very good thing, Zayn. Keep up the good work.” He smiled and led me to my room, tossing my bag inside. “Today, the boys and I have an interview, and then we’re on holiday. Would you like to come with us?” He asked. I thought for a second and shook my head, “I think I’ll just stay here, if that’s okay.” He nodded, “That’s totally fine! Make yourself at home. I have food, and movies and stuff.”
I nodded, “Thank yo-“
“Stop,” He said. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at him. “I’m sorry?”
“Stop thanking me. It’s okay, you’re welcome.” I smiled and looked down, “Thanks. Damn, sorry!” I said quickly. He laughed, “Come on, the boys are getting ready.” I nodded and followed him out to the living room, sitting on the couch next to Niall.
“Hey!” He smiled warmly at me. I couldn’t help but smile back, “Morning!”
Zayn looked between us with a small smile, “I’m gonna go and shower.” I waved and watched as he walked down the hall. With every step he took, I wondered why. Why he was showing me such kindness without really knowing me, why he and his parents are opening up their house for me also without really knowing me. “Gray?....Gray?....GRAY!?” An Irish accent pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Hmm?” I hummed looking over at Niall. “I asked how you were doing, considering…” He trailed off. I shrugged, “One day at a time, Nialler.” His face brightened. “You know my nickname!?” I chuckled and nodded, “I shared a room with a 14 year old directioner. I pretty much only know you guys by your nicknames. Louis! Morning,” I cheered to Louis as he walked in the room.
“Uh, morning Gray! You seem…cheerful.” I shrugged, “I’m actually a pretty positive person.” He pursed his lips and nodded. “Liam and Harry are almost done getting ready,” He said to Niall. “Okay,” He responded, not looking up from his phone. I picked up the remote and started flicking through the channels on the big screen TV.
I stared blankly at the TV. I found myself looking around Zayn’s large flat. My eye fell on the large, half-decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the room. It was massive, and reminded me a lot of the huge trees me family would decorate together. Right around this time, too. Mum, dad, Emmett, and I would spend one night to decorate the tree. Emmett was only 8 when he died, the day after we last decorated the tree. Clearly, I can remember holding him up as he placed the star on the top of the tree. I can still smell the cookies mum and I baked, the candles that Dad would light, claiming the pine smell from the tree gave him sniffles. As I thought about that day, I didn’t see where it had gone wrong. We were fine, my family was fine, everything was fine. Then, I had returned home from my last day of school before holiday to find them all dead.
I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to erase the images of the bloodied walls and bodies out of my mind. “You okay, love?” Liam asked kneeling in front of me. I nodded quickly, “I’m all good.” I smiled and looked up in time to see Zayn and Harry entering the room. “Okay, everyone ready?” Liam asked. With a simultaneous nod, everyone headed to the door.
“Good luck, guys!!!!” I cheered. They all—except Harry—turned to smile at me. Zayn made his way over and hugged me. I flinched involuntarily, “Sorry, sorry,” I mumbled and quickly wrapped my arms around him. He looked at me funny but smiled anyway. “Make yourself at home, we’ll be back in like 3 hours.” I nodded and shooed the boys out of the door. Once the front door was shut and I heard their footsteps recede down the hall, I allowed the tears to fall. I slammed the door with my open hand and rested my forehead on the door and silently begged for the tears to stop.
Once I had collected myself, I made my way into the kitchen and took out all my necessary supplies. I smiled to myself and got to work.
***
“Gray! We’re back!” Zayn called. “In the kitchen!” I replied, taking out the cupcakes. “Hey-whoa, what happened in here?” I looked around the kitchen, cookies, brownies, cupcakes all on plates covered the counter space. “Oh! Uh, my mum had a bakery. She taught me how to bake. They’re chocolate, peanut butter, red velvet my personal favorite, marble, vanilla, lemon, chocolate orange. I didn’t leave too much of a mess. I got bored-nervous-sad? All of the frosted ones are the ones that are done and ready, help yourself! I hope they’re good. I think they are. Baking is to me what singing is to you. It’s been a while. Oh! There’s apple cinnamon muffins, those are the very best! For as long as I could remember my mum baked. One year, for their anniversary, my dad got her a cute little building in downtown London. A bakery! Baking, is calming, it’s really the only thing that reminds me of my mother. When I bake, I feel like she’s still here, telling me how to frost a certain way or add a certain amount of ingredients. Oh and the-“
Zayn cut off my incessant rambling—my nervous rambling, “Emerson! Hey, hey, hey,” He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked at me. I bit my bottom lip and stared back with wide, wide glassy eyes. “I miss her,” I whispered. He nodded, “I know you do.” He pulled me into his chest and I dug my face into his shirt, letting the tears fall.
“Oh my god, these red velvet cupcakes are the best thing I have ever tasted in my life,” Niall mumbled with a full mouth.
10/9/13