I must have slept a lot longer than I normally do because when I wake up again, it’s light outside. I look at the clock and, sure enough, it’s 9:30 in the morning.
All the memories of last night flood into my mind and make me too weak to even get out of bed. I wonder if Max has left yet. I hope he has, I don’t want him to harass me about being so out of it lately.
I finally muster up the strength to get out of bed and open my curtains. Harry’s things still lay in a pile on the floor and I force myself to keep my emotions inside until I find out if I still have company.
I go out to the living room and find it empty. The blood from Harry’s nose is even cleaned up and you can’t even tell it was there in the first place.
I go into the kitchen, continuing my search for Max, only to find a note taped to the refrigerator.
Tomlinson, I went home around midnight. I didn’t want to wake you so I just locked the door behind me.
I also cleaned up the bloody mess that freak left behind.
Meet in the park around 5 tonight.
Max.
The last thing I want to do is hang out with the gang but I know I have to if I want to keep them all out of my personal business. I crumple up the paper and throw it into the garbage.
I go to the bathroom and gasp at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are red and puffy and the rest of my skin is as pale as a ghost. My hair is a tangled mess and I look like I haven’t slept in weeks.
I splash water onto my face in an attempt to get my complexion back to normal but it only makes it worse. I decide to take a shower so I strip out of yesterday’s clothes and turn on the hot water. Steam is coming out the top of the shower and when I step in, my skin is on fire. I don’t really mind, though, the pain kind of feels good compared to what my heart is feeling.
I wash myself up and grab my towel off the rack when I’m finished. I still feel like shit but I guess it’s good that I’m clean now. My body, that is. My conscience is still filthy.
I wrap the towel around my waist and go back to my room. On my way to my closet, I trip over Harry’s things on the floor, nearly forgetting he left them here last night.
I kick them with all of my might to the other side of the room and watch as everything hits the wall and falls to the floor in the corner.
I feel a little better but I also feel bad about doing that to his things. They never did anything to me.
I get dressed and make my bed, promising myself for the thousandth time this year that I’m going to keep my room tidy. When I finish, I go to the living room and turn on the TV, hoping to get my mind off of everything.
In the middle of a Mythbusters episode, my phone buzzes. My heart leaps and I hope it’s Harry, but it isn’t. When I check who it’s from, I realize I forgot to tell Brittany we’re over.
Hey baby ;) Wanna come over and play?
I sigh at the thought of being with her but, hey, what the hell, right? I might as well do something to keep myself distracted.
Sure, I’ll be there soon.
I know what she meant by ‘play’ and maybe, just maybe, she’ll be able to change my mind about being gay. I mean, yeah, it’s not a choice, but maybe she’ll be able to get me back on track.
I turn the TV off and grab my skateboard. Locking the door behind me, I head out to Brittany’s house, pushing all thoughts of Harry and our fight to the back of my mind.
After a while, I get to Brittany’s house and she opens the door as soon as I knock.
“Get inside,” she snaps.
I do as she says and drop my skateboard at the door. She closes it behind me and, when I turn around, violently kisses me.
“Woah,” I say against her lips. “Anxious, are we?”
“Shut up and fuck me,” she demands, shoving me back onto the couch.
She’s straddling my waist, not letting up on the kissing. She tugs at the bottom of my shirt and works it up over my head. The next thing I know we’re both completely naked and she’s lowering herself onto me.
I’m glad I don’t have to do anything this time, I can just focus on the feeling she’s giving me. I close my eyes and take it all in: her movements, her noises, the feeling.
I do a pretty good job of keeping my mind off of Harry but it doesn’t stay that way for long. About halfway through I find myself thinking about him, wishing it was him I was naked with right now.
I try with all of my might to push the thoughts away but they seem to be here to stay.
“Brittany,” I say.
“Shhh, I’m almost done,” she says.
“No, Brittany, stop,” I tell her.
“Why?” She slows down and gives me a puzzled look.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I say, breaking eye contact.
“You’re not even doing anything, what do you mean you can’t do it anymore?”
“I don’t mean this,” I say, motioning to where our bodies are as close as they possibly could be. “I mean this.” I gesture between us. “This isn’t working out for me.”
Brittany climbs off me and sits on the couch.
“Then why did you come here in the first place? Why did you let me do that?”
“I needed to get my mind off of some things and even that wasn’t helping. I’m sorry. I know you’ve got other guys anyway, what’s one less guy?”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Get out.” She gets up off the couch and dresses herself, throwing my clothes at me.
“It’s not your fault,” I tell her truthfully.
“Don’t pull that shit with me, Louis,” she scoffs.
“I’m serious,” I say. “It really isn’t your fault.”
“Then whose fault is it?”
I have to think about that for a second. I’m not really sure whose fault it is that I’m gay. “I don’t know.”
“Bullshit.”
“Harry Styles,” I blurt without thinking.
“That little bitch? What did he do?”
“He… um… he said…”
“Forget it, I don’t even want to know.”
I’m grateful for her not making me think of a lie. I know she wouldn’t have believed it anyway.
I get dressed silently and grab my skateboard before walking out the front door.
So much for that idea.
*Harry’s POV*
I wake up the next morning around 11. It’s a lot later than I normally sleep but I guess I deserved it.
I pull myself out of bed and into the shower where I attempt to wash the rest of the blood off of my skin. My nose still hurts like hell but the only thing I can do about that is take more painkillers.
I get out of the shower, dry myself off, and pop some pills into my mouth. I’ve always hated taking pills but if I have to do it, I will.
I get dressed and go to check my phone when I remember I left it at Louis’ house. I’m going to have to go back there sooner or later to get it but I don’t want to do that today.
I walk to the living room and find Jason sitting on the couch watching a movie.
“You sick, man?”
“No, just tired,” I answer, knowing he’s talking about me waking up so late.
“Listen, I thought we’d all go to the park today and teach that little fucker a lesson. Sound good?”
“You can go without me,” I tell him. “I’m not trying to break anything else this week.”
“Come on, you don’t even have to do anything. Let us do all the work, you can just sit back and watch.”
My mind instantly goes back to yesterday when Louis was the one doing all the work. Chills run down my spine and I hate Jason for saying that.
“I really don’t feel like doing anything today.”
“You’re going, Styles, and that’s an order.”
I roll my eyes and go to the kitchen for find something to eat. There’s a box of cereal in the cabinet so I pour myself a bowl and sit down at the table. No one else seems to be here and I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.
I finish my breakfast and put my bowl in the dishwasher. Walking back out to the living room, I see Jason in the exact same position as I left him.
“Where is everyone?”
“Out.”
I figure I’m not going to get a better answer than that so I leave it alone and sit down on the other end of the couch.
“What are you watching?”
“Avengers, idiot. You’ve never seen this?”
I shake my head. I don’t really watch a lot of television.
“You got problems, Styles.”
“Thanks.”
I watch the rest of the movie and, by the time it’s over, everyone else is back at the apartment.
“You ready to go down to the park?” Jason asks, turning the TV off.
“Yeah, let’s go show Tomlinson who he’s messing with,” Marcus says, cracking his knuckles.
I’m forced to go down to the park but I stay a little behind, trying to stay away as long as I can. It feels like it takes years to get there when in reality it was only about 10 minutes.
When we get there, I see the Kings standing around their dumb tree. I don’t get why they just stand there, doing nothing. It’s always the same tree, too, they never go anywhere else. It’s like they’re stuck to it or something.
“Tomlinson!” Jason yells.
I see Louis’ head snap up and look over in our direction. I turn my attention to the ground and avoid eye contact.
“What do you want?” Louis asks when we get close enough. His voice sounds strained and he doesn’t have much color in his face.
“I want to know why the fuck you beat up my second in command,” Jason says.
“Leave me alone, man, I’ve had a rough day.”
“So has he. Because of you.”
I really wish Jason would just shut up, he isn’t helping anyone here.
“Yeah, I know,” Louis says.
The next thing I know, Jason is on top of Louis, throwing punches left and right.
“Jason,” I say quietly.
He hears me somehow and turns around, keeping his hand wrapped around Louis’ neck.
“What?”
“Get off him,” I say.
“Why? He broke your damn nose! He’s gotta know what it feels like.”
“He isn’t even fighting back, isn’t that against the rules or something?”
Louis was just laying on the ground, taking all the punches Jason was throwing. I don’t think Jason had even realized that until I said something.
“It’s not against the rules of the gang, it’s just kind of frowned upon,” Jason answers.
“Just get up,” I say again.
Jason does as I ask him and Louis pulls himself up off the ground. Then he does something no one was expecting.
He turns around and walks home.

Notes

sorry it's been a while since i updated, i've been writing little by little this week, i have a LOT of stuff on my mind. one thing being i have a feeling i might get a boyfriend today! hyfr everyone pray for me! i have a 'date' in 3 hours. okay he said he had a surprise for me last time i saw him but he wouldn't tell me what it was and he said he has to show me not tell me, it's not an object, and it's an action. kinda sounds like a kiss doesn't it??? i'm so excited! guys, you have no idea.
anyway, i hope you like this chapter! <3