I stared at the note forever, my mind reeling with so many thoughts I couldn't even begin to repeat them. Tears dropped down onto the sheet, ruining the ink making them run. I let it drop to the ground, and stood there staring at the gown.

Picking it up, I strode to my bathroom mindlessly, and put it on. The silky fabric underneath was cool, a stroked my skin in a soft way sending shivers down my spine. It hugged me in all the right ways, and felt right to be wearing it. It was a feeling of old friends seeing each other at last, never wanting to part.

I grin with a happiness I had not felt in a long time, and wink at the reflection staring back at me. The flightless bird has found its wings, the caterpillar has come out of its cocoon, and the flower has bloomed. Finally, the face in the mirror resembles who I am, and not a meek pigeon scared of its own shadow...

My mind flies to the note still lying on the carpeted floor, and I fly out of the room. I pick it up, and read it over and over again until I could recite the perfectly written words.

My mother's raspy and judgmental voice rings through my head as if she were next to me, speaking herself. I give my head a good shake.

A knot forms at the bottom of my stomach making my breathing ragged. My hands automatically make their way to my hair, and tug at it endlessly.

You are a beautiful flower.

She is gone, Maci! Snap out of it! She abandoned you because raising you was too difficult for her!

You can do so much more, love. You can be so much more.

She put her own needs before her family, damaging not only you but your father. I didn't have a mother - she was a ghost of my past life.

I will love you forever and ever, darling. Even when seems like I don't, I do. Forever.

Every word, every memory is a stab to my heart. It brings old feelings back that I have buried away so long ago. My sudden anger and depression is powerful, and overcomes me like a tsunami, drowning me so heavily breathing becomes a harder task to complete.

My mind is a mess, but my feet know their duty. They carry me to my bedroom, and I thrash in like a hurricane, ruining everything in my path. But my true destination awaits me patiently, accepting its fate. Searching frantically, my hands find its target.

My eyes are clouded but can just barely make out the photograph. But in it I see a smiling, gleeful child who's face is wrinkled with laughter. And with her is a beautiful woman. Her arms wrap securely around the younger female, trapping her in a loving embrace. There are crinkles by her eyes, showing that years of laughter are in her past. The two look nothing alike, except for the similar freckle that takes place just below their eye. It is the only resemblance.

My knuckles are white from gripping the chipped frame so tightly. With a surge of frustration, I throw the photo to the ground. Glass flies everywhere, piercing my fragile skin. But my mind is far too focused elsewhere to notice.

"You're a fucking liar, mom! You lie! You weren't there for me like you said you'd be! And then you think you can just waltz back in?! Well guess what, mother? There's no more room. I have enough shit going on, and I don't need your scrutinizing eyes, and your judgmental tone fluttering around," I scream at the faded picture. Sobs shake my body. My makeup was ruined long ago, but for now I do not care. I only continue.

"I'm sure you're so proud, Mother," I chuckle dryly. No trace of humor is found inside of the raspy words. "You always said my life would be extraordinary. And you were exactly right! I've met the David statue of testosterone perfection, and fallen completely under his spell. But that's not all, mom. He happens to be one of the most famous men in the world right now! He travels all around, showing the world his talents, and sharing them. He truly is wonderful," Finally I come down from my high, only soft whispers leaving my mouth. "You'd like him I suppose, but not in the way you should. You'd adore his wealth, and his beauty. Whereas I love his charisma, and his ability to calm the constant frazzled nerves. I love the way it only takes the memory of his strong arms around me to sooth me.

"But it doesn't matter anymore. Tonight I will be wearing this beautiful dress. But his eyes will be set on another. So maybe after all, you wouldn't be proud of me for letting such a gem slip through my bony fingers. Perhaps you wouldn't be proud of me at all. Why would you when you've got Quinn, a successful young woman instead of me? A working waitress. No job, or solid education yet." I felt my blood temperature rise once again, and loud thumps buzzed through my ears.

"Fuck you, mom. Fuck. You. My life's goal isn't to please you! Especially since you rid of me the first chance you got! You filthy hypocrite! You always scolded me for giving up, not pursuing things - especially if it was something I had made a commitment to. Look in the mirror, mum. Because you are no better than I." I dropped to my knees. I winced once, but the pain fueled the loud anger. "What do you have to say for yourself?! Probably nothing, you're just going to sit there with that irritating smug smirk of yours, taunting me with your eyes. Always cynical and malicious..." Finally the sobs burst out like a dam had broken, releasing years of tension that had welled up. My fists pounded the ground sending spears of glass into my skin. It didn't really hurt, just a not so friendly reminder that I was still alive.

"Why, mom? What was so wrong with me that you didn't want me?!" I shout pitifully.

Strong arms pick me up in a hurry, but I still thrash. I want to wallow in my hurt, I want to feel. "No, please! I want to hurt, I want to hurt!" Rapid and ragged breathing escapes my lips as I beg further. The begin to rock me back and forth, cooing sadly into my ear.

"You're okay, love. Please, please stop. You are going to hurt yourself." He pleads. His voice is strained, and filled to the brim with horror.

But I can't. I don't know what has come over me, but with all the frustrations that have taken place in my heart, this was bound to happen.

~~~

My tears have dried, and my cuts have been wrapped. But my heart is still beating faster than a new high school graduate.

The photograph and all its pieces are once again stored securely beneath my bed, far from reach. I sit in the bathroom again, fixing the makeup that was ruined, and a curly headed rockstar perched beside me, watching me worriedly.

"Stop looking at me like that," I snap at him. My focus is still on the mirror before me, but he knows I am talking to him. And in the reflection, I see his face flicker with hurt.

"Love... I just saw you sitting in blood screaming at a photograph. I'm worried." Harry admits.

I sigh, and let my head fall down in shame. "I'm sorry, Harry. I just..I don't even know what to say to you. But please, I'm begging you, do not think of me differently. I'm not crazy." My voice is pleading.

I finally turn to look at Harry, searching his eyes for anything. I know deep down that he will forever look at me differently. I was no longer the same girl he had known almost a year ago. Far too much has happened now.

But he lies for me, and nods his head meekly.

The rest of our time together is silent, and he watches me passively, like he is waiting for a blow, as I compose myself.

Soon we are in a long dark car with tinted windows, and riding off into the night. Harry grips my hand, a reassuring gesture no doubt as we walk into the beautiful building.

Already I am insecure looking out at all the surrounding beautiful women. They give me a one up, eyeing the other contender of the night. I shift uncomfortably, readjusting my dress. Harry scowls at me, and leans down to whisper in my ear.

"They're intimidated, Mac. There's no need to worry. You look wonderful." He gives me his signature lopsided grin, dimples coming to join the party.

I smile back at him wholeheartedly, slightly more at ease. But that doesn't stop the butterflies from zipping around my stomach when I see him. He's hard to miss, of course, outshining all of the other dashing men.

I straighten my dress once more before tilting my chin up, ready to face anything.

Even the man who single handedly tore down my walls.

Notes

Hellloooooo :) I was just way too excited for the next few chapters, so I HAD to update!!!!!!! I hope you like it, I lost sleep for it. Lol

So this chapter will be in two parts, because it's so damn long and I tried to fit a load of stuff into it and yeah.

The song for the two parts are "Distance" by Christina Perri.

Lemme know whatcha think! I love you all :)

~M