"Hey, babe!" I turned my attention from the TV over to the stunning redhead that stood in our doorway. With my feet curled up under my favorite blanket, and a cup of tea to keep me company I laid sprawled out on the couch.
"Well look who it is. What're you doing here?" I asked bluntly. I hadn't intended my voice to come off harsh, but the anger in me boiled over.
Sam gave me a confused look, her features contorted. "I live here, silly." She looked alarmed and shifted her weight uncomfortably. I rolled my eyes and willed time to move faster so we could get on with this horrid and pointless conversation.
Don't get me wrong, I loved Sam dearly. And I always would. But before she came to ask me how things were, and how I was feeling, she fled to Niall. She fled to Niall who was best friends with him. He, who broke my heart. Who led me on. Who beautifully walked out of my life taking the shine with him. Although he may have not needed comforting, she still was there. She was there because she didn't want to defy Niall. She chose her boyfriend over her best friend. What a fan -bloody- tastic choice. Not once did I get a phone call asking how I may have been.
Maybe she did live in this place with me. Maybe she did help with the rent. Maybe her clothes were stored here, along with the rest of her belongings. But those are objects. They may hold the spirit, or the feel of Sam, it wasn't her. She wasn't there. Just her things. She has been absent from my life ever since that fateful night. She stopped by once, to gather a few clothes and gave me the short explanation that Niall has invited her to join them for the mini tour they were having. But then she disappeared. Just like him.
"It sure as hell doesn't feel that way," I grumbled. I swiftly walked into the kitchen.
I heard Sam sputtering behind me. "Mac, I told you that I was going to be gone for a bit. I told you-"
"Yeah, I remember." I abruptly got up and walked to the kitchen.
"Maci! What the hell is this all about?!"
I smiled dryly at her ignorance. I turned around, the mock and sarcasm radiating off of me. "You know damn well." I pushed past her, and scurried down the long hall towards my room.
Sam quickly caught up and yanked me back. Her emerald eyes were glazed over and she squinted them. "Cut the crap. Maci, what is going on?"
"Now you care? Wow, so glad you could finally make time to ask," I spat sarcastically.
Her grip only tightened on me. My eyes traveled angrily down to her hand. "Let go of me, Sam." She refused to let go, so I ripped out of her grasp. "Why don't you hurry back to him? Wouldn't want to keep him waiting now would you?" I seethed.
"Who? Maci, who are you talking about?!"
"That boyfriend of yours, and his apes for friends," I said. Sam's eyes widened at me.
"So that's who is this is about? Are you kidding me?! You can't be serious!" She said exasperatedly.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "Don't," I warned. I felt my anger rise, and couldn't take it any longer. I couldn't deny the words that played at my lips any longer. "Don't fucking turn this on me. Sam, did you stop for a moment to think about how I might be feeling?! As soon as something better popped up, you jumped at the chance. Do you realize how much he hurt me?! Do you realize that he was my excruciatingly painful drug?! And like a drug addict place in rehab, they were broken. They were left empty, and lonely, and confused, and deprived. But unlike the addict, I didn't have someone to help me through it." i was heaving and Sam stood proudly.
"You have not idea what you're talking about. Do you think that I went with them for Louis? Are you shitting me?! You do know that my boyfriend is in that band right? Well, he is. And I went for him. Newsflash babe, not everything is about you and your soap opera for a life," Sam spat.
And that's when I finally went into hysterics. I laughed maniacally, and though Sam never lost her cool, confusion flickered across her face.
"You still don't get it do you? I needed you. And I don't think it should matter how dramatic or not I am. Do you even remember Evan? Or Michael? or Brandon? He was the worst. You had a pointless problem about every single one of them. Whether he forgot to call, or he didn't cover you up when you were cold. It didn't matter what it was. I would drop everything and go to you. So don't even tell me I'm overreacting."
"Nothing was even going on between you two! What crawled up your ass and made you so damn sensitive? Get over it! He's moved on! It's about time you do to!"
"I'M SORRY FOR NEEDING YOU. OK?! I'M SORRY FOR WISHING MY BEST FRIEND WAS THERE TO HOLD ME WHILE I CRIED AT NIGHT! I'M SORRY I FELL HARD FOR A GUY WHO WAS GOING TO SHATTER MY HEART. I'M SORRY FOR CAUSING SO MUCH MISERY TO YOU," I shouted at her, channeling all my anger towards my best friend. I unleashed and let go of everything that I had kept hidden away for months.
My vision blurred with an anger I have never known. It was pure, raw, and loud. The thoughts that ran through my head crashed into one another creating a booming sensation to flow through. They were jumbled and messy. Like the ruins of a trains' course running into another's. My cheeks were hot, from the flaming hot tears and my rising blood pressure. I bite down on my lip, the taste of salt suddenly appearing. I suppose I bit down on my lip hard enough to puncture the soft skin.
"Maci…I know I haven't been there for you but-"
"Get out," I interrupted coldly.
"Wh-what?" She asked shakily.
"You heard me. Get. Out." I am almost sure my voice is going to crack when I talk. But it does the exact opposite. It has a certain strength to it, and sounds confident. I feel stronger than ever.
"This is my home too," She whispered.
I looked up to meet her eyes, which were trained on the ceiling. I assume to stop the waterworks. "No, it's really not. Because while you were eloping with your boyfriend, I was left to pay and care for this place on my own. You do not contribute. Therefore, it's not yours. I'm the owner, and I am asking you to leave."
"Okay."
I watched Sam gather her purse and luggage, then walk out of the door. I waited several heartbeats later before finally losing my composure; my strong facade finally fading. I slowly sank down to the floor, leaning on the nearest wall. The tears were hardly noticeable for i was still to focused on the wounds Sam's words had caused. My breathing was hitched and uneven. My vision was blurry. My head was pounding. And my heart was shattered. I always knew guys would pass in and out of my life. I just never expected Sam too. We had gone through too much. But through all of this, I finally learned the only person you can rely on yourself. Everyone else liked to leave. They liked to throw you curveballs and throw you off balance.
My lips began to shake uncontrollably, and the tears came faster. They fell without permission and as I tried to choke them back, exaggerated and loud yelps released in their place. Breathing suddenly became harder and my chest felt like elephants sat upon it. I pulled my knees up to my chest, and rested my chin on top hoping to stop the shaking. But I only shook harder.
Just like that my life had completely spiraled down to a bitter and agonizing end. The grand finale.
I don't know how long I laid there, but I eventually picked myself up and all of the broken pieces. I carried myself and ruggedly stalked over to my couch. Like every girl might've done, I stared at the TV that was still flashing. Only a few times did I leave my thoughts to see what the beautiful women speaking were saying. But nothing ever caught my attention.
But that didn't last very long.
"One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has been spotted with recent ex girlfriend, Chloe Hastings. The two were spotted heading into Louis' hotel late last night, and early this morning we saw Hastings finally leave. Does this mean the two are back together? Well, according to Louis, it might be true."
My attention was instantly caught by the overly perky bubblegum blonde speaking, and saw the location change. And there he was. He looked the same. But so, so different. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for the yapping reporter to finish.
His hair looked longer, and his eyes duller. But the dazzle of his smile made up for the lack of shine. He was grinning, now, and laughed. It seemed like an uncomfortable laugh, but was still playful. He nodded his head feverishly at something the reporter had said, and she giggled. I rolled my swollen eyes at her. It was sad how even professionals, especially those who had been trained for the camera, could so easily lose their composure and fall apart in front of them. All Louis had to do was smile.
I returned my attention to her flirtatious voice, and kept my self from cringing.
"…can you confirm the rumors?"
Louis paused momentarily, and looked like he was debating his answer. I would say my heart stopped, but in reality it was beating harder than I would've thought. The anticipation was building with every breath I took. Finally, after much teasing, he answered. "Me and Chloe had a rough patch. She's a lovely lady, and I enjoy her company. I'm not sure where we're going to go from here."
The woman seemed displeased with his answer, and pressed further. "Are you in favor of the relationship? Or are you feeling a bit…conflicted?"
Louis' eyes finally traveled to the camera that didn't do his perfect features justice. But when I caught a glimpse of his capturing blue eyes that always shined with mischief, I sucked in a breath. That playful and taunting smile played at his lips, and he said, "I think I want to see things progress." He turned next to him, and I saw a tall blonde smiling at him. Her eyes were almond shape, lined perfectly with eyeliner, outlining and complimenting her silver eyes. Her blonde hair was wavy, and cut to her shoulders. She grinned up at him.. Her lips were painted with red lipstick, but it somehow worked for her. Slowly I saw their hands intertwine.
I rushed to grab the remote and turn of the horrid TV show. I sat, once again, breathless and at a loss for words.
She was beautiful. It looked as if her skin didn't have to suffer a day of acne. It looked as if her eyes didn't need anything to compliment the beautiful colors that took place there.
Sam was absolutely right. He's moved on. And is was damn time for me to as well.
Angry, and hurt, I reached for my cell. When I punched in the number, I impatiently waited for him to pick up.
"Nate? Yeah, it's me. Do you mind if I come over?"

Notes

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