LINDSAY'S POV

So, here I was, standing in the line for a One Direction meet and greet. I walked up to the first four boys, and met and greeted them civilly. Then I came to the last one.

I walked up to him, and said, "Hey."

He laughed and replied, "Well, maybe I thought you were attractive, but then you opened your mouth."

He looked down at the table. I retorted, "How long did it take you to come up with that?"

He rolled his eyes and said, "Nice try sweetie. But you for- wait. What did you just say?"

"I asked you how long it took for you to come up with that. But actually, from the sound of it, you just took it from somewhere."

"Don't you go around acting smart with me!"

"Oh, I'm not acting. I am smart."

"Oh, sure. Because just saying hey is being smart."

"Look right here, straight into my pretty brown eyes. You know I'm right."

"Your eyes look like the Hudson River."

"Look here, Mister Famous Dude. I'm cool! If you ever say anything like that again, I'll cut your eyes out."

"Whatever, Miss I Think I'm Cool."

"Is that all you can think of to say? Well, you have fun with that."

"What?! I'm not going to say I'm sorry!"

"Have it your way," I smirked.

"This isn't over!"

"Oh, but I think it is! I'm leaving."

"Umm, I don't think so! Paul! Don't let her leave!"

"Oh, cry me a river, pretty boy."

"If I did, you'd pollute it. And I knew you thought I was pretty!"

"You should really learn to identify when people lie, so you know when to feel good about yourself."

"Give me your phone. We are continuing this Sass Battle tomorrow. Prepare to be defeated by the "Sass Masta from Doncasta"!"

Zayn jumped in and said, "But his mom calls him Boo Bear."

I laughed and said, "Aww, look. Its Momma's widdle boy..."

Louis' face turned red. "Zayn! Not. Helping. Anyway, I don't suppose you have an awesome name."

"And I don't suppose you have an ounce of humility in you! How is it that you manage to carry your enormous ego anywhere?"

He grabbed the phone from my hand, and his fingers did a little dance all around my screen. He handed it back to me, and said, "You. Me. Tomorrow, at this address. Half past two. Don't be late."

"Oh, it's on."

---

I picked out an outfit that I was almost positive would make Louis squirm.

I had chosen a simple light pink v-neck, and white shorts, with grey Toms. Everything was very form fitting. I brushed my long, dirty-blonde hair into gentle waves that ended at the bottom of my rib cage. I didn't put on much make up, just a creamy eye shadow, and eye liner, then I added mascara and a layer of light lip gloss.

I drove to the address, and up the driveway I went. I stepped out of my car and walked up to the door.

Swallowing thickly, I raised my hand to knock.


LOUIS' POV

I picked an outfit that I was almost positive would make- shoot. I don't even know her name!

"Harry!" I yelled.

"Yeh?" I heard.

"Come 'ere!"

I heard him sigh, and then I heard his footsteps come closer. "What's up, Louis."

"There's a really pretty girl coming over for... A battle of words, so to speak. But, I never asked her what her name was."

"Louis, that's a problem."

"I know! I need you to find out what it is. So when she knocks on the door, open it, and just talk to her and stuff. Ask her what her name is. And then tell me what it is. Please?"

"Okay. But what do I get?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm doing you a favor. What do I get if I successfully complete the mission?"

"The satisfaction of helping a really, really, really good friend?"

"Oh. Okay!"

Then there was a knock on the door.

"Harry... It's show time!"


LINDSAY'S POV

The door opened, and I found myself looking at the curly haired one.

"Hi, I'm Harry!"

"Lindsay."

"That's a pretty name," he said as he led me inside. "So, Lindsay, where are you from?"

"Just around. I moved around a lot."

"Oh... So, what's your favorite song?"

"I Would. From your Take Me Home album."

"Oh! That's Louis' favorite too."

"Really?"

"No. His favorite is Back For You."

"Oh. Well, that one's good too..."

"Here we are! The Sass Battle room. If you don't mind, the rest of the boys and I would like to watch."

"It's your house."

"Oh. Right. Well, have fun."

Harry walked over to Louis, and whispered in his ear. Louis' eyes flicked over to me, and he gently smiled. Then his face became serious as he said, "Well, lets get on with this."

He patiently waited for the boys to settle down before saying, "Ladies first."

"Go right ahead."

He laughed and said, "Oh, I get it! It's like humor... But different. I like your approach. However, I would love to see your departure."

"Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who cares."

"I don't know why I'm wasting my time talking to you."

"So, why are you still talking?"

"Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."

"If you have something to say raise your hand... then place it over your mouth."

"I'm sorry, Liam. I'm going to need a translator."

"Why do you need a translator, Louis?" Liam said, obviously confused.

"I don't speak stupid," Louis smirked.

"Okay, I'm out of here," Liam said.

"Bye, Liam," I said. Then I rebounded with, "Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring."

"Do you annoy people as a hobby, or is that just your personality?"

"I'm gonna just, bop out... See you later guys," Zayn muttered.

"Bye, Zayn," I smiled. Then I turned back to Louis. Here come my acting skills! "Louis! What's that behind you?"

Harry, and Niall looked behind Louis, while Louis whirled around.

"Oh, wait. It's your stupidity." At that, Harry and Niall burst out laughing, while Louis regarded me with narrowed eyes. Niall stood up, and left the room, laughing histerically.

"I'd like to agree with you, Lindsay. But I don't want to be wrong."

I snorted. "Would you like a side of epic with that fail?"

"You know, you really are as pretty as a picture. I know I'd love to hang you."

Harry gasped at that. He looked in between me and Louis, and slowly stood up and inched out of the room.

I walked toward Louis. "I'll try being nicer, if you try being more intelligent."

He closed the distance, and whispered, "You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for."

I smiled and sweetly answered. "Did you know, I'm writing a book on stupidity, do you mind if I reference you in it?"

Louis opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. I stepped back, and put my hand on my hip. "Does this mean I win?"

"I don't believe it. I'm at a loss for words."

He walked toward me, and backed be into a wall. He put his hands on either side of my head. "No one has ever beaten me. You're the one I've been looking for. The one who can return it, and bring it. And somehow be attractive. All at the same time. I'm sorry for being so rude. I was scared."

"It's all good," I whispered. I leaned forward as if to kiss him, but then I ducked under his arm, and ran out of the room. Louis kissed the wall on accident, and when he noticed something was off, he grinned, and came after me, laughing.

We ran around the house, until I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. All of a sudden, my breath had run away from me again. Louis had tackled me to the ground. He lay heavily on top of me, and gently pressed his mouth to mine.

We heard a wolf whistle, and looked up to see Harry, grinning cheekily down at us. Louis and I looked at each other, and as one we decided what must be done. We quickly got up, and ran towards Harry, who began to look a bit scared. Then he realized that he needed to run. We ended up chasing all of the other boys.

At the end of the day, Louis and I had made it official. The boys were delighted that he would have a girlfriend again. Louis held a private conference with them, and then they a came out, grinning. Niall held a guitar. They began to sing.


Lately I found myself thinking
Been dreaming about you a lot
And up in my head I’m your boyfriend
But that’s one thing you’ve already got

He drives to school every morning
While I walk alone in the rain
He’d kill me without any warning
If he took a look in my brain

Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?
Well, if it was me then I would
Would he hold you when you’re feeling low?
Baby, you should know that I would

Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?
Well, if it was me then I would
Would he hold you when you’re feeling low?
Baby, you should know that I would

Back in my head we were kissing
I thought things were going alright
With a sign on my back saying ‘kick me’
Reality ruined my life

It feels like I’m constantly playing
A game that I’m destined to lose
'Cause I can’t compete with your boyfriend
He’s got 27 tattoos

Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?
Well, if it was me then I would.
Would he hold you when you’re feeling low?
Baby, you should know that I would.

Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?
Well, if it was me then I would.
Would he hold you when you’re feeling low?
Baby, you should know that I would.

Would he please you?
Would he kiss you?
Would he treat you like I would?
Would he touch you?
Would he need you?
Would he love you like I would?

Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?
Well, if it was me then I would
Would he hold you when you’re feeling low?
Baby, you should know that I would

Would he please you? Would he please you?
Would he kiss you? Would he kiss you?
Would he treat you like I would?
Would he touch you? Would he touch you?
Would he need you? Would he need you?
Would he love you like I would?

Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?
Well, if it was me then I would.
Would he hold you when you’re feeling low?
Baby, you should know that I would, I would, yeah, I would, yeah.


We are all the best of friends.

And Louis? Well, we still have Sass Battles every now and then. I haven't lost yet!

Notes

A massive, massive, massive, MASSIVE thank you to Mareeeesssaaa, Yobroharryismine, and NiallHoranrocks14. They helped me SO SO SO MUCH with the whole sass battle thing. I actually did come up with some of those... But it wasn't easy. So thanks to those three lovely souls.

Now, on the imagine subject. I have one more. Then, the imagines shall be opened once more. Thank you for your patience!

Love,
PickNandos