Protect You, Protect Me
Undereath it all
Gray left Liam in a hot mess. She had kept it together while she said goodbye to Liam and the others, but as soon as Steve pulled the car away and headed to the airport, the tears wouldn’t stop. She had to walk through the airport with puffy red eyes, looking like a fool. Her mom picked her up giving her that ‘mom’ look, causing Gray to start all over again.
It was already Wednesday thankfully, and it had been a full 24 hours since she shed her last tear. Gray had always been good at hiding her feelings, making sure not even the closest people saw them. It never felt right to be anything other than optimistic around people. Unfortunately, doing this she always plugged the plug on Liam. He had called her, texted, emailed and even tried to face time with her, but she always denied his advances. She occasionally sent him a ‘Good Luck’ message but that was it. Gray thought it was a great idea, but it was just making her a crabby woman in the process.
“Morning mom,” she said walking into the kitchen ready for her. Everything about her was
sluggish. She just felt so off.
“Gray.” She looked at her mom. Usually she was chipper in the morning, one worded answers weren’t like her. She shrugged her shoulders and continued to pour herself some coffee.
“How long are you going to keep this bullshit up Gray?” Gray about dropping her coffee, she was shocked her mom was swearing in the house where the girls could see.
“Mom?! What are you talking about,” Gray asked. Gloria just rolled her eyes.
“You know exactly what I am talking about, don’t play blonde on me. Liam called me yesterday. I know all about you ignoring him, pretending his doesn’t exist anymore. You do this crap all the time Gray. And don’t you DARE pretend like you aren’t! You look like complete shit Gray,” Gloria yelled. Gray stayed silent. Busted.
“Beautiful daughter, what is going on?” Gloria lowered her tone. Gray moved to the breakfast
bar and threw her hands over her face.
“It’s just easier this way mom,” she explained. At least that is what she kept telling herself.
“How is this easier? Make yourself look like shit. You aren’t even trying, you stopped,” Gloria
was back with the swearing.
“It just is mom. Liam is amazing, but really, how long could we keep up with this? Me seeing him what, 48 hours every six weeks? Is that really worth it,” Gray fired back, starting to get upset.
“It’s always worth it if you want it. I don’t get why you stopped, do you know see how much
Liam likes you and want to be with you? He sounded like the saddest panda ever last night.” Gray buried her face in her hands again. Why does everything have to be so hard?
“Gray, I know you better then anyone. Think about this. You have always ran with the going gets tough on anything, and I think you would be stupid to do this now. Go to work and this about it, and I mean really think about this. Stop worrying all the time about the ending and how things will blow up your face, and just enjoy life for once. I beg you,” Gloria said giving her a kiss on the forehead,” I love you hunny, but I know you are making a mistake.”
----
Gray walked into work with already a huge headache. Everything her mom said ran through her head on the drive here. She was so lost on what to do with Liam, torn in both directions. Right now, all she cared about was throwing herself into teaching adjectives and forget everything else for the next 8 hours. She walked into her classroom where her co-worker Mila was.
“Happy hump day girl!” Gray gave her a weak smile.
“Gray you can do better then that! Besides, looks like someone got you a present on your desk,” Mila chuckled back. Gray rounded the corner to her desk only to find two dozen long stemmed roses sitting on it. They were beautiful.
“You didn’t tell me you had a side project,” Mila joked.
“I thought it was just a weekend thing,” Gray explained. She picked the card off and opened it up.
Thinking about you every day, cannot wait to see your beautiful face.
-L
Mila looked over her shoulder to read it.
“L?! Who is L,” she asked. Gray looked at her and laughed.
“Side Project.” Mila rolled her eyes.
“Mmhm, I will get details out of you one day.” Mila left the classroom leaving Gray in her
thoughts. She sighed. What to do, what to do.
“Fuck it! Fuck it all!” She yelled in disgust. She was done being the brat she was acting like. It was time to act her age. She sat her in her desk chair pulling her phone out of her purse. The guys were in Denver right now, so it was only 7am there. Gray hoped she wasn't waking him out. She took a deep breath and began to write.
I'm sorry. I've been a bitch these last couple of days. I'm just scared. More then you will ever understand. I miss your face too. Call me sometime when you aren't busy.
Grey smiled, happy with the choices she made. She put her phone on vibrate, ready to start the day with 30 nine year olds.
----
Gray got home feeling distraught. Liam didn't message her phone one single time. She even called her phone at work just to make sure it was working. Her high from earlier had died. Her mom was wrong, this is why she pulled back. She wouldn't have to worry about him anymore if she just kept up with her game plan. You can't get hurt when you don't try.
"Hey Gray," Grace squealed. Gray shut the door and threw purse on the hallway table.
"Hey girl." She gave Grace a kiss and headed upstairs.
"If moms comes, I'm taking a nap," Gray said. She gave out a fake yawn for Grace and headed up. She just wanted to forget life for a couple of hours and maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Gray quickly changed her clothes and hopped into bed. Sleep was always the number one cure for times like these.
Gray woke up to hear her iPhone ringing. She grabbed it, barely opening her eyes and pushed 'answer'.
"Ello?"
"Hi love." Gray immediately sat up in her bed. He called!
"Hi Liam."
"Sorry I couldn't phone you earlier, busy day," he explained. Her heart melted. Maybe she did overreact.
"It's okay." The line grew silent.
"So you want to explain to me what the hell is going on," he barked. Whoa, she hadn't heard that side of him before.
"I'm sorry." She couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Sorry for what Gray? For ignoring me for days making me lose mind? Sorry for making me call your mum just to figure out what was going on with you? Or sorry, after I was starting to get that you didn't want anything to do with me, then sending a random text in the EARLY morning mind you, to fuck with my brain some more? Really Gray, what part are you sorry for?" Man he was mad.
"All of it," she whispered. She heard him sigh.
"I'm sorry too, I'm just fucking confused. What do you want from me Gray?"
"You, I want all of you," she said honestly.
"Then why are you running from me?" His voice went down back to the normal Liam she knew.
"I'm scared," she whispered out, Liam barely heard her.
"Oh love, don't be scared," he tried to reassure her.
"How can I not be Liam," she opened up," this beyond new to me. You are floating around the world and I'm here. I'm terrified I'm going to lose you. Being with you scares the hell out of me." She heard Liam sigh again.
"When can you visit," he asked. Oh god, did she really want to go out to him again and possibly start this all over?
"Three weeks? I have time off then."
"Fine. We will be in San Fran then. You are going to come out here and be with me. We'll sort this all out, no matter what happens. Until then, you have to stop doubting yourself. You are going to give us both grey hair," he said, trying to make a joke. It sounded like a good plan to her, that gave her three weeks to finally figure out what she wanted to do.
"Ok."
"Good. Until then Miss Cameron, you must find a way to talk to me at least once a day. Face time, text message, cryptic Twitter, Instagram posts, something. I'm not letting you get away," he said. Gray smiled into the phone.
"Yes sir, I can bombard you with random information," she laughed.
"Good, listen love I have to go. I will be talking to you later. Bye love."
"Bye jailbait." She put the phone back down and laid back into bed. Three weeks, plenty of time.
----
Gray into the school the next morning feeling like a new person. After the phone call with Liam, she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. This was possibly a turning point, and really their first fight. Liam didn't ditch during her emotional tirade and Gray didn't disappear when he got extremely mad at her.
"Hey girl, you look different today," Mila said when Gray walked into their classroom.
"Eh, good night." Gray smiled again just thinking of Liam's voice. She sent him a goodnight text last night, which he replied to after she was asleep and a picture of her in her work clothes today.
"You going to give me any details yet," Mila asked, hinting for her to open up.
"Nope, but good try." Mila flickered her off and wandered back to her own desk. Gray smiled, and smelled the roses that were still on her desk. Three weeks, that's all she had left to go.
The bell had rang and Gray patiently wanted until the last child left the classroom before rushing to her purse and checked her phone. Her face lit up seeing two messages from Liam.
LIAM: You looking amazing in plaid. Naughty little teacher :)
She laughed. He also sent a picture of him with BBQ sauce all over his face. God, what a goof.
ME: Saucy there. Maybe Niall will lick it off of you.
----
One week to go, that's all she had left until she could see Liam again. Over the past two weeks, things had been stronger then ever. Liam called as much he could, and when he couldn't let left cryptic social media messages for Gray to find.
@Real_Liam_Payne: Great things happen in a week. #excited
(Instagram: A photo of him with a grey sweater on) @Real_Liam_Payne: Gray sweater only means one thing.. #happiness
Gray couldn't wait any longer. One week was definitely longer then last time and she planned on spending it every minute touching him.
"Hey jailbait," she answered her phone.
"What are you doing," he murmured.
"Driving home."
"My phone beeped today telling me you'd be here in exactly one week. You ready for that," he asked.
"Of course, already have my bags backed. By 6pm Friday I will be with you," she cooed getting all warm inside.
"Good. Make sure to bring your party clothes. Perrie and Eleanor are coming into town, we have the penthouse for the whole week," Liam explained. Gray got even more excited. She remembered talking to Perrie and how nice she was, hopefully Eleanor was the same.
"One week to go," she sighed. Hurry up clock.
"See you then love."
It was already Wednesday thankfully, and it had been a full 24 hours since she shed her last tear. Gray had always been good at hiding her feelings, making sure not even the closest people saw them. It never felt right to be anything other than optimistic around people. Unfortunately, doing this she always plugged the plug on Liam. He had called her, texted, emailed and even tried to face time with her, but she always denied his advances. She occasionally sent him a ‘Good Luck’ message but that was it. Gray thought it was a great idea, but it was just making her a crabby woman in the process.
“Morning mom,” she said walking into the kitchen ready for her. Everything about her was
sluggish. She just felt so off.
“Gray.” She looked at her mom. Usually she was chipper in the morning, one worded answers weren’t like her. She shrugged her shoulders and continued to pour herself some coffee.
“How long are you going to keep this bullshit up Gray?” Gray about dropping her coffee, she was shocked her mom was swearing in the house where the girls could see.
“Mom?! What are you talking about,” Gray asked. Gloria just rolled her eyes.
“You know exactly what I am talking about, don’t play blonde on me. Liam called me yesterday. I know all about you ignoring him, pretending his doesn’t exist anymore. You do this crap all the time Gray. And don’t you DARE pretend like you aren’t! You look like complete shit Gray,” Gloria yelled. Gray stayed silent. Busted.
“Beautiful daughter, what is going on?” Gloria lowered her tone. Gray moved to the breakfast
bar and threw her hands over her face.
“It’s just easier this way mom,” she explained. At least that is what she kept telling herself.
“How is this easier? Make yourself look like shit. You aren’t even trying, you stopped,” Gloria
was back with the swearing.
“It just is mom. Liam is amazing, but really, how long could we keep up with this? Me seeing him what, 48 hours every six weeks? Is that really worth it,” Gray fired back, starting to get upset.
“It’s always worth it if you want it. I don’t get why you stopped, do you know see how much
Liam likes you and want to be with you? He sounded like the saddest panda ever last night.” Gray buried her face in her hands again. Why does everything have to be so hard?
“Gray, I know you better then anyone. Think about this. You have always ran with the going gets tough on anything, and I think you would be stupid to do this now. Go to work and this about it, and I mean really think about this. Stop worrying all the time about the ending and how things will blow up your face, and just enjoy life for once. I beg you,” Gloria said giving her a kiss on the forehead,” I love you hunny, but I know you are making a mistake.”
----
Gray walked into work with already a huge headache. Everything her mom said ran through her head on the drive here. She was so lost on what to do with Liam, torn in both directions. Right now, all she cared about was throwing herself into teaching adjectives and forget everything else for the next 8 hours. She walked into her classroom where her co-worker Mila was.
“Happy hump day girl!” Gray gave her a weak smile.
“Gray you can do better then that! Besides, looks like someone got you a present on your desk,” Mila chuckled back. Gray rounded the corner to her desk only to find two dozen long stemmed roses sitting on it. They were beautiful.
“You didn’t tell me you had a side project,” Mila joked.
“I thought it was just a weekend thing,” Gray explained. She picked the card off and opened it up.
Thinking about you every day, cannot wait to see your beautiful face.
-L
Mila looked over her shoulder to read it.
“L?! Who is L,” she asked. Gray looked at her and laughed.
“Side Project.” Mila rolled her eyes.
“Mmhm, I will get details out of you one day.” Mila left the classroom leaving Gray in her
thoughts. She sighed. What to do, what to do.
“Fuck it! Fuck it all!” She yelled in disgust. She was done being the brat she was acting like. It was time to act her age. She sat her in her desk chair pulling her phone out of her purse. The guys were in Denver right now, so it was only 7am there. Gray hoped she wasn't waking him out. She took a deep breath and began to write.
I'm sorry. I've been a bitch these last couple of days. I'm just scared. More then you will ever understand. I miss your face too. Call me sometime when you aren't busy.
Grey smiled, happy with the choices she made. She put her phone on vibrate, ready to start the day with 30 nine year olds.
----
Gray got home feeling distraught. Liam didn't message her phone one single time. She even called her phone at work just to make sure it was working. Her high from earlier had died. Her mom was wrong, this is why she pulled back. She wouldn't have to worry about him anymore if she just kept up with her game plan. You can't get hurt when you don't try.
"Hey Gray," Grace squealed. Gray shut the door and threw purse on the hallway table.
"Hey girl." She gave Grace a kiss and headed upstairs.
"If moms comes, I'm taking a nap," Gray said. She gave out a fake yawn for Grace and headed up. She just wanted to forget life for a couple of hours and maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Gray quickly changed her clothes and hopped into bed. Sleep was always the number one cure for times like these.
Gray woke up to hear her iPhone ringing. She grabbed it, barely opening her eyes and pushed 'answer'.
"Ello?"
"Hi love." Gray immediately sat up in her bed. He called!
"Hi Liam."
"Sorry I couldn't phone you earlier, busy day," he explained. Her heart melted. Maybe she did overreact.
"It's okay." The line grew silent.
"So you want to explain to me what the hell is going on," he barked. Whoa, she hadn't heard that side of him before.
"I'm sorry." She couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Sorry for what Gray? For ignoring me for days making me lose mind? Sorry for making me call your mum just to figure out what was going on with you? Or sorry, after I was starting to get that you didn't want anything to do with me, then sending a random text in the EARLY morning mind you, to fuck with my brain some more? Really Gray, what part are you sorry for?" Man he was mad.
"All of it," she whispered. She heard him sigh.
"I'm sorry too, I'm just fucking confused. What do you want from me Gray?"
"You, I want all of you," she said honestly.
"Then why are you running from me?" His voice went down back to the normal Liam she knew.
"I'm scared," she whispered out, Liam barely heard her.
"Oh love, don't be scared," he tried to reassure her.
"How can I not be Liam," she opened up," this beyond new to me. You are floating around the world and I'm here. I'm terrified I'm going to lose you. Being with you scares the hell out of me." She heard Liam sigh again.
"When can you visit," he asked. Oh god, did she really want to go out to him again and possibly start this all over?
"Three weeks? I have time off then."
"Fine. We will be in San Fran then. You are going to come out here and be with me. We'll sort this all out, no matter what happens. Until then, you have to stop doubting yourself. You are going to give us both grey hair," he said, trying to make a joke. It sounded like a good plan to her, that gave her three weeks to finally figure out what she wanted to do.
"Ok."
"Good. Until then Miss Cameron, you must find a way to talk to me at least once a day. Face time, text message, cryptic Twitter, Instagram posts, something. I'm not letting you get away," he said. Gray smiled into the phone.
"Yes sir, I can bombard you with random information," she laughed.
"Good, listen love I have to go. I will be talking to you later. Bye love."
"Bye jailbait." She put the phone back down and laid back into bed. Three weeks, plenty of time.
----
Gray into the school the next morning feeling like a new person. After the phone call with Liam, she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. This was possibly a turning point, and really their first fight. Liam didn't ditch during her emotional tirade and Gray didn't disappear when he got extremely mad at her.
"Hey girl, you look different today," Mila said when Gray walked into their classroom.
"Eh, good night." Gray smiled again just thinking of Liam's voice. She sent him a goodnight text last night, which he replied to after she was asleep and a picture of her in her work clothes today.
"You going to give me any details yet," Mila asked, hinting for her to open up.
"Nope, but good try." Mila flickered her off and wandered back to her own desk. Gray smiled, and smelled the roses that were still on her desk. Three weeks, that's all she had left to go.
The bell had rang and Gray patiently wanted until the last child left the classroom before rushing to her purse and checked her phone. Her face lit up seeing two messages from Liam.
LIAM: You looking amazing in plaid. Naughty little teacher :)
She laughed. He also sent a picture of him with BBQ sauce all over his face. God, what a goof.
ME: Saucy there. Maybe Niall will lick it off of you.
----
One week to go, that's all she had left until she could see Liam again. Over the past two weeks, things had been stronger then ever. Liam called as much he could, and when he couldn't let left cryptic social media messages for Gray to find.
@Real_Liam_Payne: Great things happen in a week. #excited
(Instagram: A photo of him with a grey sweater on) @Real_Liam_Payne: Gray sweater only means one thing.. #happiness
Gray couldn't wait any longer. One week was definitely longer then last time and she planned on spending it every minute touching him.
"Hey jailbait," she answered her phone.
"What are you doing," he murmured.
"Driving home."
"My phone beeped today telling me you'd be here in exactly one week. You ready for that," he asked.
"Of course, already have my bags backed. By 6pm Friday I will be with you," she cooed getting all warm inside.
"Good. Make sure to bring your party clothes. Perrie and Eleanor are coming into town, we have the penthouse for the whole week," Liam explained. Gray got even more excited. She remembered talking to Perrie and how nice she was, hopefully Eleanor was the same.
"One week to go," she sighed. Hurry up clock.
"See you then love."
Notes
Title creds: "Underneath it all" - No DoubtQuestions, comments, concerns?
I LOVE THISSSSSSSS
5/18/14