Protect You, Protect Me
Sad
"So what the hell happened," Perrie asked a now calm Gray. After Niall called her, Perrie came rushing down to the room to find Gray inconsolable. She was shaking uncontrollably saying she was sorry over and over again. Perrie sent the boys out to find Liam and talk to him while she calmed down Gray. After 20 minutes, Gray had finally calmed down and was able to talk.
"We got in a fight, said things we shouldn't," Gray explained staring out the window.
"Like? Come on G, I need more information then that to figure this out." Gray sighed. She told Perrie all of it. Every part of the truth, even know she hit Liam in the jaw with her cast and stormed over to Niall and Harry's room.
"Gray, what were you thinking?" Perry knew Gray could go off into the deep end, but she never would use violence.
"I wasn't. Trust me Pea. I didn't mean to hit him. I never would hit him! I just wanted him to let go of me, all of me for once. As soon as I hit him and saw the look on his face I never it was over. I have never seen that look before," Gray explained with more tears falling down.
"Love, he had his reasons to be so protective." Perrie walked over to her purse and reached for her phone.
"You don't get on Twitter much, do you?" Gray shook her head no. She found it to be quite stupid but didn't tell the rest of them. She had only been on it once since Niall made it, and that was to see the picture Harry posted of their matching boots.
"Don't get upset," Perrie said before handing over the phone. Gray scrolled down, her eyes wide. There were posts beyond posts about Gray being too ugly, too brunette, how she should die, she deserved to get beat up and how Liam could do better. The icing on the cake was the #diegraydie hastag someone started.
"Oh my god," Gray cried out. What kind of sick people would say those things?
"Guessing Liam never talked about those," Perrie said quietly. Gray couldn't stop looking through all the messages. People could be so hateful when they didn't even know her.
"That's so mean. Do they do this to you too," Gray said, finally looking away from the screen.
"Me and Zayn both. I have learned to live with it now. You date boy band, you get pretty thick skin. Don't get me wrong Gray, what Liam did was a bit much and you have the right to be angry, but this is why he does what he does. He has this strong urge to protect you from all these horrible things in the world. He had his reasons for acting the way he did." Gray sat back on the bed thinking. Perrie had a point, he was trying to keep her safe from the world of haters, but at the same time she should of been able to see this. She needed to know what was going on. Relationships are built on trust and communication and Liam broke both of those.
"Why? Why couldn't he have just of told me this from the beginning instead of trying to hide it all? I mean, come on Perrie, I got beat up by a group of girls! Sixteen year old girls kicked the shit out of me and I survived that. I don't get why he just won't talk to me about these things and stop acting like everything is all right." Gray laid down on the bed with her hands over her face. She didn't understand it all.
"I wish I had the answers for you, but I don't. You should talk to him," Perry said quietly.
"No. I can't do that right now Pea. I know I did wrong but he did too," Gray said back. She was still upset and didn't want to go say things she would regret, again.
"You need to at some point love. The longer you wait the worst this is going to get." Perrie got up and grabbed her purse.
"I'm going to go check on the boys. You still going to come to dinner?" Man, Gray forgot all about that. She felt bad saying no.
"Yeah, I'll be there."
----
Liam decided to skip the group dinner, which let Gray breathe a sigh of relief. She wanted to see him badly, but right now wasn't the time. They all went to Grapevine and sat down to enjoy a dinner. Gray was sandwiched in the booth between Niall and Louie. Gray couldn't get herself to stop fidgeting.
"Gray, you are going to give me motion sickness," Louie joked.
"Sorry," she blushed. Honestly, she felt like the odd duck there. Without Liam, she was just a ghost and not a permanent member in their little family. They all ordered their food and laughed while Gray stayed quiet. She chimed in when needed but still felt out of place.
"He's really sorry Gray," Louis whispered to her. She looked up at him giving him a sad smile.
"I'm in the same boat."
"Then why are you here Gray," he asked her.
"I just need some time Lou. I have to figure it all out in my head." Louis shook his head at her.
"You are stalling Gray, I'm not stupid."
"Louis, just drop it, ok?" She bit back. What did she have to do to get people to stay out of their business? She turned back to her pasta, and spent the night picking at it before they left.
----
"Why do we have a cot," Niall asked when they three of them got back in their room.
"I called it in before we left. Hope you guys don't mind if I sleep here," Gray explained, silently kicking herself for not asking.
"It's quite alright love but you could of had a bed, we could of shared," Harry said.
"No, I'm barging in your room so I can take a cot, that's no big." Gray changed in the bathroom into the pajama's Harry let her borrow.
"I'm going to go to sleep. Don't worry about bugging me," she told them as she crawled into her tiny cot. Niall was flipping through the TV channels while Harry played on his phone. Gray turned her music on and put earbuds. She rolled away from them both so they wouldn't see her crying. She knew she fucked up, royally.
----
"Hi sweetheart!" Her mom's jolly voice sung over the phone. Gray was in day 3 of her post Liam fight and things didn't get much better. The guys and Perrie were trying to make her feel better, while pushing for Liam and her to talk it out, but it was still beyond awkward for her.
"Hey mom," Gray said with a somber voice.
"I know that voice. Start talking," Gray smiled. Even a thousand miles away, her mom always knew.
"Liam and I had a fight." Gray told her mom the whole truth just like she did with Perrie, adding in the twitter remarks about her. Gloria stayed silent through the whole thing until Gray was done.
"Well, that turned to shit Gray," Gloria said.
"MOM!"
"Sweetie, I'm sorry put you both worked yourself into a pickle there. How are you going to get out of it," she asked.
"I don't know," Gray whispered. She had been racking her brain for an answer but nothing worked.
"You have two options baby. Make up or cut your loses. You are obviously miserable with them all right now. Stop being a baby and make a choice." Gloria was right. No sense staying in one spot. A person has to move forward with her life.
"I know mom. I just needed someone else to tell me."
"That's life hun. We all know what we need to do whether it's good or bad, but can never admit it to ourselves," Gloria explained.
"I love you mom."
"I love you too sweetie, good luck." Gray hung up ready to make the move she needed to do. Almost all weren't going to agree with her, but Gray had to live her life, not theirs. She had to talk with Liam and settle their differences.
She walked down the hallway in the propped door of Louis' room. All of them were there except Liam.
"Hey guys, where is he," She asked them all.
"Gray, I don't think right now is the best time," Zayn said. Gray immediately stood straighter in alarm.
"Why? What happened?"
"We had an interview today. The guy was getting really pushy with his questions and they all dealt about you," Niall explained.
"Like?" She asked him.
"Why did Liam pick a random girl at a concert, was it a publicity stunt, how much you were getting paid. It didn't help that he still has a big bruise on his face," Harry said.
"Shit. Shit! Where is he," she asked.
"Gray.." Louis started.
"Tell me now Louis, don't screw around with me," she barked back.
"Check the gym, that's usually where he goes when he is angry." Gray hurried out of the room without saying anything else to them. She flew down the seven floors of steps, which would of pissed Steve off, but she didn't have time for him either. Gray opened the door to the small hotel gym and immediately saw him. He was in the corner throwing a 30 pound medicine ball on the ground like it was nothing.
"Liam?" She whispered loud enough for him to barely hear her. He turned around giving her a cold stare that made her shiver.
"What Gray," he deadpanned. She twirled her bracelet around her wrist.
"I came to see if you were okay." He rolled his eyes and laughed rudely at her.
"Now you came to see if I'm okay? After you get publicity and not when you hit me? Maybe that journalist was right." Gray sucked in a breathe. This wasn't a side of Liam she had ever seen.
"Liam, you are just being mean." He throw the ball down on the ground a couple more times before answering her.
"I'm being honest Gray, sorry you don't like it. You haven't said three words to me in days. Traveled on the bus with me for 12 hours acting like I don't exist and now you want to talk."
"I.. I wanted to say I am sorry Liam, for how things went," she said bravely.
"It's too late for sorry Gray. Sorry would have been nice two days ago. We are past sorry. I can't being the one who waits for you to apologize, those moments are gone."
"What are you saying Liam?" Her voice shook with fear.
"I need a break from you Gray. This isn't working right now." He turned again, putting his back against her.
"Are you breaking up with me Liam?" She tried her hardest to keep her tears inside.
"Yeah Gray, I guess you could say that," he chuckled in an icy laugh again. Gray suppressed a sob. This wasn't the plan, this wasn't what she wanted. Sure, they had a fight but completely walking away didn't seem to be an option.
"Is that what you really want?"
"At this point," he turned back to her, "yes." Gray nodded, pretending to agree with him. She quickly turned on her heels and left the room. She ran until she reached the stairs before falling to the ground and breaking down. Her whole body heaved in sobs and tears. She didn't want to leave him, ever. Gray picked herself up off and took the slow walk up the stairs. If he didn't want her there, she wasn't going to stay. She walked past Louis' semi opened door without going in. Liam wanted a clean break, and it was going to happen.
She walked into what used to be their room, ready to pack up her things. She threw her clothes in not caring how they were, the same with her shoes. She grabbed everything else that was hers and throw it in the bag, not caring if she forgot anything. Gray left the bags by the door before doing the last thing that was needed. She sat down on the bed, crying and writing a quick note for Liam before pulling off that precious bracelet and setting it on top of his pillow. Gray took one more look in the empty room before grabbing her bags and leaving. She walked to the elevator, not looking back on the life she was leaving behind.
"We got in a fight, said things we shouldn't," Gray explained staring out the window.
"Like? Come on G, I need more information then that to figure this out." Gray sighed. She told Perrie all of it. Every part of the truth, even know she hit Liam in the jaw with her cast and stormed over to Niall and Harry's room.
"Gray, what were you thinking?" Perry knew Gray could go off into the deep end, but she never would use violence.
"I wasn't. Trust me Pea. I didn't mean to hit him. I never would hit him! I just wanted him to let go of me, all of me for once. As soon as I hit him and saw the look on his face I never it was over. I have never seen that look before," Gray explained with more tears falling down.
"Love, he had his reasons to be so protective." Perrie walked over to her purse and reached for her phone.
"You don't get on Twitter much, do you?" Gray shook her head no. She found it to be quite stupid but didn't tell the rest of them. She had only been on it once since Niall made it, and that was to see the picture Harry posted of their matching boots.
"Don't get upset," Perrie said before handing over the phone. Gray scrolled down, her eyes wide. There were posts beyond posts about Gray being too ugly, too brunette, how she should die, she deserved to get beat up and how Liam could do better. The icing on the cake was the #diegraydie hastag someone started.
"Oh my god," Gray cried out. What kind of sick people would say those things?
"Guessing Liam never talked about those," Perrie said quietly. Gray couldn't stop looking through all the messages. People could be so hateful when they didn't even know her.
"That's so mean. Do they do this to you too," Gray said, finally looking away from the screen.
"Me and Zayn both. I have learned to live with it now. You date boy band, you get pretty thick skin. Don't get me wrong Gray, what Liam did was a bit much and you have the right to be angry, but this is why he does what he does. He has this strong urge to protect you from all these horrible things in the world. He had his reasons for acting the way he did." Gray sat back on the bed thinking. Perrie had a point, he was trying to keep her safe from the world of haters, but at the same time she should of been able to see this. She needed to know what was going on. Relationships are built on trust and communication and Liam broke both of those.
"Why? Why couldn't he have just of told me this from the beginning instead of trying to hide it all? I mean, come on Perrie, I got beat up by a group of girls! Sixteen year old girls kicked the shit out of me and I survived that. I don't get why he just won't talk to me about these things and stop acting like everything is all right." Gray laid down on the bed with her hands over her face. She didn't understand it all.
"I wish I had the answers for you, but I don't. You should talk to him," Perry said quietly.
"No. I can't do that right now Pea. I know I did wrong but he did too," Gray said back. She was still upset and didn't want to go say things she would regret, again.
"You need to at some point love. The longer you wait the worst this is going to get." Perrie got up and grabbed her purse.
"I'm going to go check on the boys. You still going to come to dinner?" Man, Gray forgot all about that. She felt bad saying no.
"Yeah, I'll be there."
----
Liam decided to skip the group dinner, which let Gray breathe a sigh of relief. She wanted to see him badly, but right now wasn't the time. They all went to Grapevine and sat down to enjoy a dinner. Gray was sandwiched in the booth between Niall and Louie. Gray couldn't get herself to stop fidgeting.
"Gray, you are going to give me motion sickness," Louie joked.
"Sorry," she blushed. Honestly, she felt like the odd duck there. Without Liam, she was just a ghost and not a permanent member in their little family. They all ordered their food and laughed while Gray stayed quiet. She chimed in when needed but still felt out of place.
"He's really sorry Gray," Louis whispered to her. She looked up at him giving him a sad smile.
"I'm in the same boat."
"Then why are you here Gray," he asked her.
"I just need some time Lou. I have to figure it all out in my head." Louis shook his head at her.
"You are stalling Gray, I'm not stupid."
"Louis, just drop it, ok?" She bit back. What did she have to do to get people to stay out of their business? She turned back to her pasta, and spent the night picking at it before they left.
----
"Why do we have a cot," Niall asked when they three of them got back in their room.
"I called it in before we left. Hope you guys don't mind if I sleep here," Gray explained, silently kicking herself for not asking.
"It's quite alright love but you could of had a bed, we could of shared," Harry said.
"No, I'm barging in your room so I can take a cot, that's no big." Gray changed in the bathroom into the pajama's Harry let her borrow.
"I'm going to go to sleep. Don't worry about bugging me," she told them as she crawled into her tiny cot. Niall was flipping through the TV channels while Harry played on his phone. Gray turned her music on and put earbuds. She rolled away from them both so they wouldn't see her crying. She knew she fucked up, royally.
----
"Hi sweetheart!" Her mom's jolly voice sung over the phone. Gray was in day 3 of her post Liam fight and things didn't get much better. The guys and Perrie were trying to make her feel better, while pushing for Liam and her to talk it out, but it was still beyond awkward for her.
"Hey mom," Gray said with a somber voice.
"I know that voice. Start talking," Gray smiled. Even a thousand miles away, her mom always knew.
"Liam and I had a fight." Gray told her mom the whole truth just like she did with Perrie, adding in the twitter remarks about her. Gloria stayed silent through the whole thing until Gray was done.
"Well, that turned to shit Gray," Gloria said.
"MOM!"
"Sweetie, I'm sorry put you both worked yourself into a pickle there. How are you going to get out of it," she asked.
"I don't know," Gray whispered. She had been racking her brain for an answer but nothing worked.
"You have two options baby. Make up or cut your loses. You are obviously miserable with them all right now. Stop being a baby and make a choice." Gloria was right. No sense staying in one spot. A person has to move forward with her life.
"I know mom. I just needed someone else to tell me."
"That's life hun. We all know what we need to do whether it's good or bad, but can never admit it to ourselves," Gloria explained.
"I love you mom."
"I love you too sweetie, good luck." Gray hung up ready to make the move she needed to do. Almost all weren't going to agree with her, but Gray had to live her life, not theirs. She had to talk with Liam and settle their differences.
She walked down the hallway in the propped door of Louis' room. All of them were there except Liam.
"Hey guys, where is he," She asked them all.
"Gray, I don't think right now is the best time," Zayn said. Gray immediately stood straighter in alarm.
"Why? What happened?"
"We had an interview today. The guy was getting really pushy with his questions and they all dealt about you," Niall explained.
"Like?" She asked him.
"Why did Liam pick a random girl at a concert, was it a publicity stunt, how much you were getting paid. It didn't help that he still has a big bruise on his face," Harry said.
"Shit. Shit! Where is he," she asked.
"Gray.." Louis started.
"Tell me now Louis, don't screw around with me," she barked back.
"Check the gym, that's usually where he goes when he is angry." Gray hurried out of the room without saying anything else to them. She flew down the seven floors of steps, which would of pissed Steve off, but she didn't have time for him either. Gray opened the door to the small hotel gym and immediately saw him. He was in the corner throwing a 30 pound medicine ball on the ground like it was nothing.
"Liam?" She whispered loud enough for him to barely hear her. He turned around giving her a cold stare that made her shiver.
"What Gray," he deadpanned. She twirled her bracelet around her wrist.
"I came to see if you were okay." He rolled his eyes and laughed rudely at her.
"Now you came to see if I'm okay? After you get publicity and not when you hit me? Maybe that journalist was right." Gray sucked in a breathe. This wasn't a side of Liam she had ever seen.
"Liam, you are just being mean." He throw the ball down on the ground a couple more times before answering her.
"I'm being honest Gray, sorry you don't like it. You haven't said three words to me in days. Traveled on the bus with me for 12 hours acting like I don't exist and now you want to talk."
"I.. I wanted to say I am sorry Liam, for how things went," she said bravely.
"It's too late for sorry Gray. Sorry would have been nice two days ago. We are past sorry. I can't being the one who waits for you to apologize, those moments are gone."
"What are you saying Liam?" Her voice shook with fear.
"I need a break from you Gray. This isn't working right now." He turned again, putting his back against her.
"Are you breaking up with me Liam?" She tried her hardest to keep her tears inside.
"Yeah Gray, I guess you could say that," he chuckled in an icy laugh again. Gray suppressed a sob. This wasn't the plan, this wasn't what she wanted. Sure, they had a fight but completely walking away didn't seem to be an option.
"Is that what you really want?"
"At this point," he turned back to her, "yes." Gray nodded, pretending to agree with him. She quickly turned on her heels and left the room. She ran until she reached the stairs before falling to the ground and breaking down. Her whole body heaved in sobs and tears. She didn't want to leave him, ever. Gray picked herself up off and took the slow walk up the stairs. If he didn't want her there, she wasn't going to stay. She walked past Louis' semi opened door without going in. Liam wanted a clean break, and it was going to happen.
She walked into what used to be their room, ready to pack up her things. She threw her clothes in not caring how they were, the same with her shoes. She grabbed everything else that was hers and throw it in the bag, not caring if she forgot anything. Gray left the bags by the door before doing the last thing that was needed. She sat down on the bed, crying and writing a quick note for Liam before pulling off that precious bracelet and setting it on top of his pillow. Gray took one more look in the empty room before grabbing her bags and leaving. She walked to the elevator, not looking back on the life she was leaving behind.
I LOVE THISSSSSSSS
5/18/14