I was in love once.

Now looking back it was all so unreal. Like a fairy tale or something. We were never supposed to be and yet we were.

I had just planned to go to an out of the way Starbucks that day to get my caffeine fix and do some studying.

Being a freshman at UCLA was killing me slowly and I was sure if it wasn’t for my frequent visits to the coffee franchise I would have packed up and gone home already, labeling this whole collage experience a bust.

I never expected to run into the curly headed boy with the gorgeous green eyes that stared straight through me.

“Grande iced caramel macchiato please.” I asked the barista politely as I handed her my card. As I waited for my drink I spun around to look at the surprisingly empty coffee shop.

It was a nice change from the normal fast pace that I had become accustomed to living on campus. Most students packed the surrounding Starbucks. Today I had talked myself into venturing a little farther out of my comfort zone to find a more relaxed environment to study for a test in my Principals of Statistics class.

As soon as my drink was handed to me I turned and made my way, with my backpack slung over one shoulder, to the farthest corner of the shop to start the tedious task of cracking open my Stats book.

“Excuse me.”

I stopped in my trek at the sound of the husky accented voice. As I turned my hazel eyes landed on a very tall boy with a shy smile that indented dimples into his cheeks. His sparkling green eyes looking straight into mine.

“Um... yes.” I said after I managed to catch my breath.

“I seem to be a bit lost. I’m not from here and I’ve lost my group. Do you think you can point me back in the direction of Hollister.”

I bit my lip. I really, really wanted to help but I wasn’t really familiar with the area either. I turned to look at the barista but she just shrugged too, either because she didn’t know or didn’t want to help.

“I actually don’t know. I’m not from here.” I watched as his face fell, feeling terrible about not being able to help. “Do you need to call someone? You can use my phone if you want.”

I dug into my backpack and pulled out the pink cased phone handing it to him causing him to smile gratefully.

“Thank you. I had my mate hold mine and as it turned out I lost him and my phone.”

I nodded pointing towards the table I was originally heading for. We both sat down as he made his call.

I tried to ignore his conversation as I pulled out my books, not wanting to invade his privacy but I did hear something about a video shot that he had the next day and that ‘management’ was none to pleased with him.

“Thank you.” He said, sliding my phone back to me a few minutes later.

“Oh no prob.” I looked up from my book to see him swipe his hair across his forehead and look out the window. “Is everything alright?”

He flashed me a dimpled smile and nodded. “Oh yes. Just in a bit of trouble but nothing I’m not accustomed to.” He said with a cheeky wink.

I chuckled and looked back down at my book.

“What’s that?” He asked again in his obscenely slow cadence.

“This,” I joked pointing down at the large book “is torture.”

He chuckled peering down at the page I was on. “Looks it.”

I looked up at him again realizing that I wasn't really going to get any studying done with him there. Besides I‘d rather talk to him then learn all these formulas any day.

I reached my hand across the table towards him as I shut the book with the other. “I‘m Callie, by the way.”

He slid is much larger hand into mine and smiled charmingly at me. “Harry. Nice to meet you Callie.”

It seemed so easy then.

In such a short time I learned that he was in a British pop group and they were in LA filming the music video for their first single the next day.

He had been on a shopping trip with his band mates and handlers, thinking the shopping here would be out of this world when really it was kind of a let down, when he got separated from them and decided to try and find the car they had driven. He ended up getting lost walking down the street in search of the vehicle and decided to stop at the coffee shop where he found me.

It surprised me how easily I could talk to him, how much he made me laugh and just let loose. Normally I was shy and quiet when I met new people but Harry made it feel like we had known each other for years.

It was right around the time his energetic band mate, Louis, popped into the shop that Harry had asked if he could see me again before they left in the next few days.

I was so desperate for friends I instantly agreed, handing him my phone so he could type in his international number. I was glad at that moment my mother had decided I needed the international plan for my phone.

Those days were the best few days ever. Not only did I become good friends with Harry in the short time frame but I also befriended the other boys as well.

I’ll always miss those days. When no one really knew who they were and it felt like they were my little secret.

To say I was sad when they had to leave was an understatement. Harry swore to keep in touch and that made me feel better as I watched them drive away from the hotel I had said my goodbyes at.

I think some part of me thought his promise was an empty one but I was pleasantly surprised to find that the foreign boy I meet randomly meant what he said.

There wasn’t a day that went by after that I didn’t receive, at the very least, a text from him.

Nearly five mouths after our chance encounter I could quite confidently say Harry Styles knew more about me then any other person I knew. I spoke to him more then I spoke to the people I interacted with on a daily basis.

When his face would flash back at me on my phone I couldn’t help smiling and it was around that five mouth mark that I feared I might be falling in love with a boy I had only physically seen for a total of 15 hours.

My birthday had been drawing nearer then as well and Harry was very much aware of it as he would ask me daily what I wanted.

I would have loved to tell him the only thing I wanted was to see him again but I never plucked up the courage to actually say those words.

Imagine my glee when a few days before my uneventful day of birth I received a first class ticket to fly out to London to see the boy that took up most of my thoughts.

It turned out Harry wanted to see me again just as badly as I wanted to see him.

I was so freaking nervous as I walked down the terminal towards where Harry said he would be waiting for me.

What if our last meeting was just a fluke? What if we had nothing left to talk about and this whole week was full of awkward conversations and wishing I was back home? Why was I even here?

I really was contemplating turning and running, finding the next flight back home, when I saw him.

At first I wasn’t sure it was him, in his green hoodie and gray beanie hiding the curls that I distinctly remembered.

I would have probably walked right by him if it wasn’t for that dimpled smile that I had engraved in my memory.

“Callie.” He said holding his arms out for me.

I didn’t even stop to think as I ran right into them, all thoughts of fleeing forgotten at the sight of his breathtaking smile.

“I missed you.” I murmured into his chest as he squeezed me a little tighter.

“I missed you more.”

That week was the best and worst of my life. The best because I had never been happier but the worst because it was the start of everything going down hill for us.

I would be leaving tomorrow night.

Harry and the boys had been so kind to take me out and show me around London. It was probably the best birthday I had ever had in my life.

Currently I was sitting on a park bench with Harry. The sun had gone down not too long ago and it was getting a little chilly. London proved to be much colder then LA by a long shot.

I knew enough about Harry to know that his silence meant he had something heavy on his mind so I let him battle it out on his own.

It wasn’t until I felt his fingers slip over mine and lace through them that I looked over at him.

He wasn’t looking at me, his eyes were set straight ahead with a worried look on his face.

After a while of him just silently looking off and squeezing my hand I decided I should speak.

“Harry?”

When his head snapped towards me I gave him a questioning look urging him to tell me what was wrong.

He licked his lips and closed his eyes. “I don’t want to say it.”

“Say what?” I asked, my brow furrowing in confusion.

“I don’t want to ruin this.”

I was very lost. Whatever he was talking about was bothering him.

“Harry.” I urged again. When his eyes opened he looked right into mine trying to find something there.

I tried to make my eyes tell him that what ever it was I would be there for him, because even if I hadn’t known him that long, he was the closest thing to a best friend I had.

“Callie I...” He clamped his mouth shut and shook his head.

I tilted my head trying to look into his eyes again, mostly because doing so made me feel all tingly and warm inside.

Harry looked back at me and then in an instant his lips were attached to mine.

I literally felt like my whole world stopped and then sped up into a dizzying pace.

I didn’t even process as my own lips worked against his, my thoughts purely on his hands as they cupped my cheeks then slowly slid into my hair tilting my head so he could get a better angle as he tongue begged me to open up for him.

As we pulled apart moments later, we were both out of breath with flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

My eyes widened as I watched him lick his lips and then smile at me. “Callie I think I might be falling in love with you.”

I had been soaring after that night. I probably could have flown myself back home with the high I was on.

We were so young and naive then, we didn’t know how complicated things could get for us. We were both just so happy that the other felt the same way.

My last 24 hours in London were spent glued to Harry’s side, stealing kisses and constantly touching as if we knew we had to stock up until we saw each other again.

The drive to the airport was the worse. Neither of us spoke we just clung to each other in the back seat as Louis drove us to Heathrow.

It was as Harry was helping me pull my luggage to be checked in that he pulled me aside and pulled off the shiny silver chain with the paper airplane pendant on the end.

“I know we’re far away from each other and I know this is a crazy idea getting into a relationship when I’m here and you’re there but I want you to know that I would do anything to be where you are and if I could just fly myself to you I would.” He said as he slid the necklace over my head letting the little silver charm rest close to my heart.

I bit my lip as I looked down at it trying my very best to keep myself from crying right here in the middle of this busy airport.

I don’t know how it happened.

It didn’t seem logical at all that we could feel this deeply about each other after befriending each other in such an unorthodox way.

We really shouldn’t have made it past that first day at Starbucks but here we were, holding hands, desperately clinging to the last few seconds we had together before I had to get lost in the crowd to board my flight back to the US.

“I don’t want to go.” I murmured out looking down at our clasped hands.

He didn’t hesitate to pull me into his chest and rest his head on mine making me feel protected and cared for. “I don’t want you to go.”

We stayed like that for a while. Not caring that he was a national celebrity and their were sure to be prying eyes around.

In that moment it was just me and him, Callie and Harry. Everyone else melted away.

Getting on that plane was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

Thinking back on it, if I had known then what I know now I probably wouldn’t have.

But then again if I had known then what I know now I would have never spoken to Harry again. It would have saved me so much pain in the long run.

Our relationship, though not a typical one, blossomed over Skype and hours of phone calls with very rare and very short visits scattered in between.

As our relationship grew so did the boys popularity internationally.

At that point, when I went to the grocery store, I could see my boyfriends face smiling back at me down the magazine aisle.

It was a nice feeling to know that he was mine even as all the girls on campus talked about him. No one knew I even knew who he was let alone that I spent most of my nights talking to him.

But as they became more well known and in demand, our time together on our calls and video chats became less and less until it was just once a week, if that. The visits dwindled down to none.

While all the couples around me were holding hands and just being together I found myself over come with jealousy and resentment at not having that, even if I could say my boyfriend was a pop star.

I tried my hardest not to let it bother me, but I knew I was failing miserably. It was hard enough being away from him and now the last line of communication with him was slowly being siphoned down to nothing.

It also didn’t help that every time I logged on to the internet there was a new rumor of him being linked to some Hollywood starlet.

I knew I couldn’t compare to Rihanna or Taylor Swift, some of the rumored flings, and it was only made worse when I didn’t have Harry there to reassure me that they were all false.

Of course, typical teen pop star protocol required that he deny having a girlfriend which was just another jab at my already fragile heart.

I knew it wasn’t him doing it intentionally but I was so frustrated, in a relationship that I had never really fully weighed the pros and cons to.

I found myself having less and less patience with him and us getting into more and more arguments.

I started to really wonder if this was all worth it.

I was more miserable then anything and I hated it because all I wanted were the days when we were happy back.

Imagine my shock when I made my way home one night to find Harry seated on the stairs leading to my apartment after days of not being able to get in contact with him and nearly two months of not seeing each other.

By this point I no longer lived on campus and I couldn’t have been happier at that fact when I saw his slouched figure, surely the girls in my old dorm would have made this reunion impossible for us.

“HARRY!” I shouted gleefully dropping my bag and running at him full speed.

At the sound of my voice Harry looked up from his hands and waited for me to jump into his lap before pulling me close to his body and kissing all over my face.

“I missed you so much.” I gushed.

All doubts and heartache forgotten at the sight of him.

Harry still didn’t say a word as he looked over my face, studying every inch of it like he was trying to memorize it.

“Why are you here? I thought you were visiting your family before you went on tour?”

I watched as he bit his lip and looked over my shoulder.

I got a strange feeling in my stomach as he turned back to me hesitantly.

“I came to see you.” His brow furrowed as he looked away again. “We need to talk.”

And there were the worst words to ever hear from your significant other.

I wanted to burst into tears just from hearing that but I managed to stay strong as I nodded and pulled away, suddenly not wanting to appear as vulnerable to him.

As soon as we were inside my apartment Harry grabbed my hand and pulled me to the sofa to sit.

He still wasn’t looking at me, this time choosing to look at his long fingers as he pulled at them nervously.

“Callie I...”

It was funny. That was exactly how he started off tell me he was falling for me but I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be nearly as pleasant a declaration.

“This isn’t working anymore.”

With the last word out of his mouth it felt like I was being punched in the gut.

Try as I might I couldn’t help the tears welling in my eyes. I wanted to be that girl that didn’t cry when getting dumped but I couldn’t help it.

“Wha-what?”

I shouldn’t have had to ask. It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about this myself. I just never pictured it actually happening before.

“We never see each other Callie and I hate that but I can’t help it. It’s not fair to you either though to sit around waiting for me to have time when there might not be any left over in my day for you.”

With every word it was getting harder and harder to breath let alone respond.

I couldn’t see him anymore due to the flood of tears streaming down my cheeks.

This was happening.

This was actually happening and I had no argument to support us staying together because I knew he was right.

We didn’t see each other and we hardly ever spoke. This wasn’t a relationship anymore, and I was starting to wonder if it ever really was.

Maybe we were just two lonely people drawn to each other.

I wiped away the tears trying to clear my vision, as soon as I saw him I knew that wasn’t the case.

I was in love with him, probably from the very first moment I saw him and this hurt like hell.

“Say something.” He urged.

What in the world was there for me to say?

“I love you.” I gasped out. The first time I had said that to him, to anyone really, and I felt like it might be the last time.

“Don’t say that Callie.” He whispered out.

It was then that I heard the emotion in his voice.

This was hurting him too.

“I do.”

Harry looked at me for a long while, I watched as his own tears built. A parade of emotions played across his face from agony to anger and love to sadness.

“It doesn’t change anything. It’s not enough.” He said sniffling. “I can’t keep doing this to you...”

His eyes shifted down but I tilted my head to make eye contact with him again, urging him to finish.

“Because I love you too. I love you so much that I don’t want to hurt you anymore and keeping you in this relationship is only going to hurt you.”

I wanted to argue, I tried to summon up any argument I had to debate this with him but I knew he was right because I was already hurting.

“I wish this was easier.” I said.

He nodded. His fingers finding the paper airplane pendent.

“I wish it was as easy as making a paper airplane.” He said turning the charm in his fingers. “Then I could just climb in and fly back to your arms when ever I want from where ever I am.”

I suppressed a sob. This was hard enough on him without me making it harder. All I could do was nodded.

After a moment Harry’s fingers released the charm and slid to my cheeks. Our eyes locked as our lips grew closer.

I knew this kiss was good bye.

As soon as our lips meet the sheer desperation and need was almost overwhelming.

We were trying to devour each other, trying to remember how it feels.

I didn’t want it to end. Ever.

And when it did it took everything in me to not break down.

I felt numb and broken as he pulled away from me and slowly stood up. I felt like I was dying.

I couldn’t make my limbs move as he slowly made his way to the door, I couldn’t force myself to get up as I heard it shut behind him.

It was over. As easily as it began it was done.

My fingers gripped the tiny paper airplane around my neck and suddenly I remembered how to move.

Somehow I managed to make it all the way to his rental car without even realizing what I was doing.

He turned just before stepping in to see me standing behind him.

I didn’t say a word as I removed the necklace from myself and placed it over his head.

I could see he wanted to argue so I place my lips over his one last time, this kiss was short and bittersweet.

The real goodbye.

“It’s too far to get back to me in a paper airplane.” I said. “You keep it.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything, or maybe he couldn’t.

I was letting him go just as much as he was letting me go and we both understood that.

His hand rested over the charm. “I will always love you Callie.”

With one last look at me Harry got in his car, one hand held tightly to the pendent as he started it up.

I closed my eyes and left. I couldn’t bare to watch him drive off. Away from me for good.

That was a year ago. It still hurt to think about.

I was in love. It wasn’t normal how we got together or the circumstances we were in that inevitably lead to it all ending.

As much as it hurt, and it still did, I don’t think I would have changed a thing, no matter what I want to make myself believe because I have no doubt he loved me too.

It just wasn’t meant to be.

Now I sit in front of my TV in the very apartment we said our goodbyes in watching some random music award show hoping for a glance of him.

We haven’t spoken since I let him get in that car.

Part of me wonders if I had fought him if we would still be together, if we would have worked it out somehow but I knew, deep down that the only thing that us staying together would have lead to was resentment.

Me for being left behind more then being with him and him for being tied down to a girlfriend he never saw and rarely spoke to.

It was better this way.

As I watched the pre show I couldn’t help the smile that graced my face as a head of curls with sparkling green eyes and a killer dimpled smile filled the screen.

I watched as he talked about the bands new album and their excitement for being nominated that evening.

My heart swelled at the sight of him and all breath left my lungs as I listened to his voice that had some supernatural power over me with its slow husky qualities.

Just as the mini interview was ending his eyes caught the camera and his hand shot up to his chest. I didn’t miss it since my eyes were trained to his every movement.

Under his large hand, resting just below his collar bone was the paper airplane.

I knew what he was saying, it was a massage to me after all. A gesture I had seen him do many times on camera since that night. He was reminding me.

“I love you too.”

Notes

So if you haven't heard Jojo's Paper Airplanes please listen to it because it is amazing.

This fic is the first in a series I have planned.

The next one is titled Keep Forgetting and is a Louis oneshot.

I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think.