I had never felt such anger.

Such frustration and helplessness.

But most of all I had never felt such fear.

For starting out as such a normal day this had turned out to be hell on earth.

"Harry why don't you tell us about your family?"

It sounded simple enough when the bubbly blond host from the station asked the seemingly harmless question into the mic with a smile, and kind of redundant, but I answered the same generic answer as always.

"And we're talking about your children and girlfriend, Aria Reid, right?"

I could distinctly remember Zayn freezing up beside me, all chatter and joking from the others silencing. Out of the corner of my eye I could see our people frantically trying to end the interview but it didn't matter anyway because I couldn't answer. I couldn't remember how to speak. I was completely paralyzed in that moment.

All I could think was: what?

From that point everything happened as a blur. I was aware the interview was ended, sans answer from me or the others despite the off air protest from the host and radio show producers. I couldn't tell you how we made it out to the van or who we saw along the way or what route we took to get there, only that I vaguely recall Liam leading me through it all.

It was half way back to my home when my cognitive functions came back to me, my first reaction was to call Aria and so I did, and when she didn't pick up I called again and again and again. She never answered and all that did was make me panic even more.

When I got home a sick feeling of familiarity ran through me at the calm inside. Four year old memories flooded me as I stumbled farther in.

It wasn't until I had ran into the lounge to find Darcy laying quietly on the sofa watching cartoons and Jamie asleep in his play pen that I felt my heart rate return to a slightly more normal pace.

I had swept up Darcy in a tight hug, kissing her face repeatedly, so happy to see her safe at home, then made my way over to the sleeping baby not being able to resist holding him as well to assure my mind, I quickly pulled him up and into my chest breathing in his sweet baby scent and placing a kiss on his soft hair.

And that was when I saw her.

Out of the glass doors that lead to my garden Aria sat, knees curled up to her chest, arms wrapped around them as she stared blankly out over the grass.

That was where she had been when I arrived home, and that was where she remained nearly an hour later with me frozen at the glass doors watching her, too scared to talk to her.

I knew by now what had happened Louis had stuck around to inform me and to watch Darcy and Jamie for me.

They had been accosted at the park. The same park Aria had taken the children to multiple times so she had no reason to worry about their safety, until today.

I sighed as I kept my eyes on her. She must know I was here but she never reacted to me, never even flinched as she stared.

She was thinking.

It was what she did, and it was what worried me.

It concerned me because there were some many things that she could be thinking out there alone, so many decisions she could be making that would affect us and I was helpless to it all as I stood watching her do so.

I had no idea what to say or do for her. This was my life, I had tried to keep this part of it separate from the craziness but I had failed and I hated that it was out in the open now.

"Are you going to talk to her?" Louis' voice sounded from behind where I stood staring at Aria staring into space.

"And say what exactly?" I snapped irritably.

"I don't know Harry, the truth; give her some kind of idea what's going to happen. Everything is going to change now. This isn't going to just go away."

I tensed at the idea. I didn't want her to be mixed up in the crazy whirlwind that my life outside of this home. I just wanted to stay in our little bubble of calm and family.

"How am I meant to tell her that? She had a hard enough time with allowing me into her life, now I'm supposed to throw her out into our world. The fans are already out for blood, they'll eat her alive. We haven't even made anything official yet. I wanted to take this slow and now I have to pull her and Darcy and Jamie into our hyper speed life..." Suddenly I was angry, really, really angry. "Fuck Lou... who told the media? Who did this to us?"

Louis stood silently while I tried to control my breathing, only speaking when I seemed to have calmed down and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I don't know mate, but we'll find out. Right now, though, you should go talk to Aria. She needs you to explain everything to her, she needs to know what she's getting into."

I sighed and felt my whole body sag at his words and my heart drop. I knew he was right but I hated what the possible outcomes could be.

"Lou..." I tried to ignore the emotional crack in my voice as I cleared my throat and looked down at my feet. "What if she decides this is too much and she takes Jamie and leaves us. Darcy would be heart broken and... so would I. I don't know if I can go through that again."

Louis didn't answer at first and I thought he might not have anything to say. "Giver he some credit, Harry. She's not Rachel."

My eyes snapped up to his. Louis stared at me, urging me with his eyes to open the door and face my fear.

As I did I couldn't help but feel the tension in my body build.

Aria had the power of breaking me in such a way that I wasn't sure I would be able to recover from, and she had no idea she could.

Because I had yet to tell her how I felt about her, how I had been feeling about her since the night she told me all about herself so long ago.

I had yet to tell her I was in love with her.

So here I was walking slower than I ever had towards my possible emotional death with a woman who had no idea that she held my heart in her hands.

She could tell me this was all too much, that my life was a little too crazy for her and her son. She could pick up and go, and where would that leave me?

Without a word I lowered myself into the seat next to her, my green eyes taking in her profile as she kept her own eyes fixed straight ahead.

It wasn't until I breathed her name that she slowly looked at me with blood shot eyes and a pale face. It was heartbreaking and paralyzing all at once.

"I'm so sorry." It was the only thing I could think to say.

She stared at me for a few moments, emotionless, before nodding.

Just when I thought that was the only response I was going to receive she surprised me with her soft, quiet voice. "It's not your fault Harry."

I breathed in a slight sigh of relief; at least she was still speaking to me. "I don't know what happened but I promise I will find out-"

"Harry. Stop." Aria cut me off, raising her hand to rub her forehead as her eyes squinted closed.

"Please don't leave me." I should have been disgusted with how weak and vulnerable my own voice sounded as the plea left my lips or how my eyes dropped submissively to my hands in my lap, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I needed her to stay.

Faster than I had seen her move all day, Aria had snapped her head up and over to stare at me with a dropped jaw.

"Harry!" her voice sounded almost offended.

From the corner of my vision I could see her ducking down to try and catch my eye but I still didn't look at her, not even as I heard her move.

It wasn't until I saw her crouching in front of me, holding onto my much larger hands like she was scared she would break them, that I finally looked back into her clear green eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere Harry, you can't get rid of me that easily now." Her lips lifted slightly at the corner in a small smile. "I'm just worried."

Of course she was.

Jamie was always her biggest worry. She wanted her son's safety above all else. It was an understandable worry.

"I promise that I will do everything in my power to keep Jamie safe."

She sighed and sat back on her heels, hands still gripping mine as I squeezed them back.
"I'm worried about Jamie and Darcy... but I'm worried about you too."

"Me?"

I had to admit that it never crossed my mind that she might be worried about me.

"Harry, the back lash from all this is going to be hell for you." She breathed out a bitter laugh. "Yesterday your fans thought you were an eligible single guy with no kids, today they find out you are a father of four year old and supposedly also the father of an almost one year old and dating, nearly married depending on what media outlet you are tuned into. They are bound to be a little pissed. I know I'm going to be their target, fine, whatever, I don't have to deal with them, they don't buy my albums or concert tickets, but you do. I know how much they mean to you and I just don't want you to be hurt."

I soaked up her words. It wasn't anything I hadn't thought about. I had always worried about what the fans, or really anyone outside my inner circle would think when the truth came out about Darcy but I never thought she would be worried about it.

I leaned forward as my hands slid out of hers and onto her cheeks. "I'll deal with all that as it comes. Right now my only worries are you and the children. You guys are all that matter to me right now. You have no idea how worried I was earlier when I couldn't get a hold of you. I was furious when I found out what happened to you at the park. And you have no idea how I felt when I walked into this house to find complete silence. It made me think about-"

Once again Aria cut me off but this time with her lips in a sweet soft kiss.

She knew exactly what I meant.

"I'm never going to do that to you. I'll never leave you like that Harry."

She's not Rachel. Louis voice repeated in my head, my eyes locked on hers as she rubbed our noses together.

No she certainly wasn't Rachel.

She was stronger than Rachel.

And I felt more love for this woman in front of me then I had ever felt for Rachel.

Notes

Here is the next chapter. I hope you guys like it. Let me know your thoughts yea? Enjoy