There were a lot of things in my life that have taken my breath away.

Obvious things like my son on any given day, or more recently Darcy and Jamie; and the not so obvious like the girl on Xfactor who sang that haunting ballad the other night, but nothing could have prepared me for the heartwarming sight I woke up to.

I had already started the morning feeling off.

For a stupidly long time my sleep hazed mind tried to decipher what in the world was different, what was wrong.

And then it struck me.

Jamie.

Jamie had thrown me off.

I was so set in our little routine of waking up at 6 am to give him his morning bottle that it honestly surprised me, and made me feel like a terrible mother, when I realized 6 am had come and gone a good two hours ago.

As soon as that thought had cleared the sleep fog in my head a new fog set in, a panic fog.

My mommy mind caused me to leap out of bed in a rather impressive manner, landing about a good three feet from the bed and half a foot away from the bathroom door. I skidded across the tiled floor of the joint bathroom before completely coming to a halt on the other side that led to Jamie's room.

I froze- movement, breath, and heart- as my eyes swept over the scene that made me instantly feel like my heart was going to explode in my chest.

In the corner, long lanky body slouched in the rocking chair, sat a passed out Harry who had his head of ridiculously messy curls tilted onto his shoulder in what looked to be a very uncomfortable angel with his mouth slightly open and what looked suspiciously like drool glistening at the corner of his mouth. On his bare chest, tiny hands spanning the sparrows on Harry's collar bones like he was holding them down from taking flight, was my son. Jamie's cheek pressed up to Harry's chest squishing his face together adorably, mouth open and matching drool at the sides of his pouty baby lips.

It was breath takingly beautiful and it made me feel like I was intruding. Like this was a moment I shouldn't be witnessing but, god, was I glad I was.

I just stayed there for I don't know how long staring, trying to keep my mind from going to the dangerous place where I imagined this was an everyday thing. Where I would wake up and find my son cradled so tenderly and with so much care by this man that I was fighting with everything I had in me not to fall for.

Damn him.

He was playing dirty.

I would never tell him how close to giving in to him I am at this very moment, when all I wanted to do was stay here and watch them sleep peacefully and adorably for as long as I could.

But like everything in my life, my serene moment of creeper-ism was cut short with the echoing sounds of Harry's front door being opened and closed, loudly.

Both Jamie and Harry shifted at the noise. Jamie wiggling farther up onto Harry's chest and Harry instinctively tensing his arms so as to keep my son from falling out of them even as both of them remained asleep.

Cursing whoever it was that had popped my little imaginary family bubble, I spun on my heel and left the two sleeping boys to snap at which ever boy bander had chosen this day to wake up before noon to visit, because we all knew only Harry's bandmates would be bold enough to let themselves in at this hour.

As I stepped off the last step onto the wooden floors of Harry's foyer I spotted the familiar head of blonde just sneak into the kitchen.

Rolling my eyes I followed him to catch him placing a bakery box onto Harry's kitchen counter.
Wise boy brought a peace offering. Good call Irish.

"I should have known it would be you." I said much more rudely then I intended but then again I wasn't exactly pleased with Niall at the moment either.

"Erm... good morning to you too." He offered a small smile.

Again I rolled my eyes as I walked past him and began to rummage through the box he had abandoned on the counter.

Donuts... yummy.

"Oh yea sure Ari, have yourself a donut. You're welcome." He exaggerated while turning to face me where I stood leaning on the counter behind him biting into the maple glazed donut I had retrieved.

I just cocked my eyebrow at him wondering if he knew how little I cared.

"Alright I suppose I deserve this." He conceded waving his hands between us to which I just tilted my head to the side giving him permission to continue. "I'm sorry for the kiss. I know you're still annoyed at me for that."

"Annoyed is an understatement, Horan." I said between bites.

"You're right." He nodded in understanding while turning to glance around the room like it would give him the words to say.

Silence fell upon us as I assumed he found no magical assistance among the dishes resting in the rack by the sink.

"What the hell happened in here?"

Nice topic change blondie.

At his words I peeked over his shoulder to see the mess I caused, minus most of the glass shards, dried and sticky on the floor.

"I dropped a cup, Harry helped my pick it up."

"How? By wrestling with you in it?"

Instantly my cheeks heated up as the memories of exactly what Harry and I had done on that floor just a few short hours ago flooded my mind.

Sure enough, in the midst of all the dried up nutella were matching his and her's hand prints along with larger smears that perfectly outlined my backside and two smaller patches that I was sure were where Harry's knees had been straddling me.

Fuuuck.

Niall spun around to look at me as I rapidly snapped my eyes up to meet his widened ones, praying that my face wasn't as red as I felt it might be.

"No!?! You and Harry?! You didn't."

All I could do was stare at him with a blank expression hoping he couldn't see the truth in my eyes as I recalled every single second in my head.

"You did!!!"

Damn it.

Surprisingly all my little Irish friend did was grin stupidly at me. "FINALLY!!!"

"What the..." Now I was confused. "WHAT?!?!?"

His grin just grew as he shook his head in disbelief. "Oh I need to tell Louis this. And, shit, Zayn is going to be pissed. He had money on you two holding out until next month. Liam will be pleased though."

Words were being spoken, I could hear them, but none of them made any damn sense.

"WHAT?!?!"

And now the laughter, which only made me want to fly across the small space between Niall and me so I could throttle him.

"Oh come on Aria, how long did you think you two were going to last with all that sexual tension in the air? It was suffocating."

No sense, this little fucker was making no sense at all.

"Wait a minute I am royally confused... "

"You and Harry banged last night." He answered matter of factly.

My head snapped back in shock at his words and it took me a minute to clear the gobsmacked look from my face while my mouth sputtered nonsense.

"There are so many things wrong with what you just said." I began. "First of all, eww, don't ever speak like that to me again. Second who actually says banged anymore and third, NO! Just... NO!"

"So you didn't bang his brains out?" Niall looked genuinely saddened by this news. Who knew that his friends lack of sex was such a touchy subject for him.

"Words Niall, use clean words. You're dirty mouth is offensive." I reprimanded. "And, no I didn't bang his brains out." I mocked is words by deepening my voice and mimicking his accent.

"So..." He looked back at the messy floor letting the question hang in the air and I sighed.

"We kissed."

Once again his eyes were on me and it was unnerving.

Before he could question me farther, however, a question of my own popped into my head.

"Wait a minute... You knew? You knew how Harry felt when you... when you violated me?" I hissed at him, still pissed off about his unconsented kiss.

He at least had the decency to look bashful. "Yea I did, but only just. I hadn't known for sure until the day after you stayed at mine."

I scrunched my eyebrows together as I tried to recall where Niall would have come to that conclusion. He must have read my expression because he quickly explained.

"He was jealous. I know my mate well enough to know when he was insane with jealousy when I came to bring you your things. After that Louis made a few observations and, well, Harry isn't exactly subtle."

It was unsettling how my heart fluttered at the thought of Harry being jealous of Niall because of me. I was positive that feeling even the slightest bit excited about the idea made me a terrible person.

Clearing my throat and shaking my head to rid myself of those thoughts and feelings I glanced back at a knowingly smirking Niall. "Still though, that doesn't explain why you kissed me after you figured it out."

Now it was Niall's turn to roll his eyes before leaning on the counter beside me. "Harry is stubborn. Once he decides something it's very hard, if not impossible, to change his mind."
Niall said speaking as if he was explaining the simplest thing to me. "He had decided he didn't want to like you. We could all see that he was struggling with that decision but he would never admit it without a little... push."

I rolled my head to the side so I could look at my blond friend. "So I'm assuming your idea of a little push was kissing me?"

He nodded his head proudly and I promptly back handed his chest hard causing him to hunch his shoulders in and groan.

"Idiot."

"Jesus woman, no hitting." He complained while rubbing his chest. "And it worked so shut up."
It had worked, hadn't it. But was that a good thing or a bad thing.

"What's wrong?" Niall smartly deciphered my pensive look.

"I don't know." I shrugged and sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I... have all these... feelings. For Harry." I stuttered out averting my eyes to look into the open space in front of us that was the vacant kitchen. "But..." I struggled with the next words. It was something that I hated to admit. "I'm scared."

I barely got the words out before Niall's eyes were burning into the side of my face. "Of Harry?"

"No... yes... I don't know."

"That's the whole spectrum of answers there babe."

"I have little to no experience in this department, Niall. I have no idea how to handle this on my own but with Jamie to think about it's only a hundred times harder."

Niall honestly looked like he was considering ever word I spoke as we stood in silence in Harry's kitchen for a moment.

I vaguely wondered if they were still asleep. Was Harry still holding on to my son in that paternal protective way? Was Jamie still clutching to his chest so trustingly, like he knew he was safe in Harry's arms, knew that Harry wouldn't let anything harm him?

"I think..." Niall finally spoke dragging out the last syllable to grasp my attention. "That Harry hasn't felt this way about anyone else in a very long time. I also know that Harry would never hurt you or Jamie, just like I know that you would never hurt Harry or Darcy. You two need each other and I know your mama bear mind set wants to insist that this is dangerous because you've had your heart broken before but... maybe letting that idea go and just letting him in would be better for you."

I let his words sink in. He was right about me after all. My maternal instinct was throwing up all kinds of cautions signs, not because I thought Harry himself would harm my son or me but because I was scared of what a relationship with Harry would do to us.

It was one thing to have my heart broken, but I couldn't bear the thought of having Jamie's heart broken by giving him a male in his life only to have him ripped out of it if things go wrong with Harry and I. The same for Darcy. I couldn't live with myself if I allowed myself to give her that hope of the mother she so wanted and even asked for only to leave because things ended sourly with her father and I.

I knew I was insane and a definite pessimist because I was only thinking in the worst case scenario but it was something you had to do when you were a parent, you had to weigh all possible outcomes not only for yourself but for the little person you were responsible for.

I felt Niall's shoulder nudge into mine pulling me out of the warring thoughts in my head.

Glancing over at him he graced me with a lopsided smirk.

"Give him a chance Ari. Stop spinning every negative thought round and round in your head.

Just let him in, I promise you won't regret it. If there is one thing that Harry is exceedingly brilliant at, its being a father and if he is asking for that chance to be in your life then I can almost guarantee he has spun the same thoughts around in his own head and came to the conclusion that you were worth it and that means that he is going to work extra hard not to mess it up."

All I could do was stare, too awestruck by his words to actually speak. I hadn't ever thought of it that way before.

Niall must have taken my silence as me stubbornly retaining my view to not allow myself to be with Harry.

Frustrated I watched as he ruffled his hair and shook his head. "Stop pretending you're not falling in love with him, Aria."

For the second time that morning I felt my heart and breath freeze in my body.

Stop pretending you're not falling in love with him.

Was that what I was doing?

Yes.

Damn it.

Notes

and a nice little Nari moment for you guys. I hope you like it and enjoy <3